How do you become a better girlfriend? I used to ask myself this question in the past a lot too.
There is so much pressure on us women to look perfect, be perfectly kind, considerate, caring etc…
But at the same, I’ve made this observation over and over again (and I’m sure you did too):
There are women out there who act like total b****s sometimes, yet they have their partners follow them around like a puppy…
So what is it that men really want from their girlfriends?
Does your boyfriend want you to be gentle, kind and caring? Or does he want you to be strong, confident and challenge him every now and then?
The answer to these questions is likely a bit of both….
Some concepts are easier to understand by painting out their opposite. That’s why to get you to fully understand what men really want in relationships and how to become a better girlfriend, I’m going to start off by defining everything that you want to avoid being.
What is a Bad Girlfriend?
When my boyfriend, Gabriel and I got together, it was my first serious relationship. Because of that I wasn’t sure how relationships really worked which led me to doubt myself and wonder whether I was being a bad girlfriend.
If you too are doubting how good of a girlfriend you really are, these points are bound to put you at ease.
1. A Bad Girlfriend is Dishonest
Nobody (man or woman) ever wants to be lied to and betrayed.
It is hard to bring up difficult topics in a relationship sometimes. But when you’re intentionally hiding things you’re risking destroying your partner’s trust.
It’s ok to lie about liking your partner’s new shirt just to make him happy, but cheating, lying and hiding important things definitely make a bad girlfriend (or boyfriend for that matter).
2. A Bad Girlfriend Is Entirely Self Absorbed
A certain degree of selfishness is perfectly normal and healthy to have in a relationship.
But a woman who ONLY ever thinks about herself is bound to be a pretty terrible girlfriend.
3. A Bad Girlfriend Is Manipulative
Much like when it comes to being lied to, no one ever wants to be manipulated into things.
Never asking for what you want and trying to force your partner into giving it to you by scheming and manipulating always inevitably backfires.
It’s also something that makes a bad girlfriend.
4. A Bad Girlfriend Is Cruel
Wanting to intentionally hurt somebody should not be something anyone ever does, period.
Cruelty damages relationships often beyond repair.
Being cold, distant and actively dismissing your boyfriend’s feelings is definitely damaging to a relationship and it’s also something that makes a person a bad girlfriend.
What Are the Qualities of a Good Girlfriend?
Now that you know what it means to be a bad girlfriend, you can probably guess that being a good one simply requires you to have the opposite of all the above mentioned traits.
The biggest and most important qualities of a good girlfriend are as follows:
1. Honesty
Everybody craves to be able to draw a sense of safety and stability from their relationship. It’s one of the most fundamental and strongest human emotional needs.
What your boyfriend really wants is to be able to count on you to be there for him for big as well as small things.
Being a woman of your word, meaning what you say, being trustworthy and reliable are all qualities that not only make you an amazing girlfriend, they make you an amazing person too.
2. Being Considerate
Every man wants his girlfriend to care about his needs and preferences.
This is true for small things as well as big ones.
It’s not about being endlessly giving and sacrificing your needs to make your boyfriend happy. A certain dose of selfishness is absolutely normal and healthy in a relationship.
Being considerate is all about finding the right balance and making your boyfriend feel like you care about what he wants.
This is definitely a quality of a great girlfriend.
3. Being Open and Communicative
This one quality is something I used to struggle with a lot actually. It takes guts to own what you want and then ask for it.
It can feel like a scary or risky thing to do…
But it’s a risk really worth taking, communicating your needs openly is much more effective at actually getting you the results you were hoping for. It can prevent countless hurtful relationship fights and misunderstandings.
Being open and communicative are qualities that definitely make you a really good girlfriend.
4. Being Kind and Caring
Another big thing every man deeply craves is to feel taken care of in his relationship. This might mean a variety of different things big as well as small.
A kind and caring girlfriend is someone who listens to her boyfriend about his problems.
Someone who is patient and understanding, someone who is genuinely trying to help when she can and is generous with reassurance in the relationship.
Being kind and caring makes you an absolutely great girlfriend!
5. Being Emotionally Available
Last but not least, sharing a special bond and feeling a strong emotional connection is the very foundation of true love.
It’s not easy to maintain the spark in a long term relationship though.
Being vulnerable and letting your boyfriend in emotionally is whatcan bring him closer and strengthen the chemistry between the two of you.
It’s also another important quality that would make you an amazing girlfriend.
Does Being Good Looking Make You a Better Girlfriend?
Now that you know the five most important qualities of a good girlfriend, you might be wondering, but what about the looks?
Us women are made to put so much emphasis and effort into our appearance.
We have all been told that men are visual and that you need to look sexy in order for your boyfriend to find you attractive.
I used to feel really insecure about my weight or my asymmetric face and worried that these things could be serious factors that could prevent me from finding happiness in love.
The reality of this matter is, looks actually play much less of a role in a relationship (and even in attraction) than most of us have been led to believe.
Not to say that taking care of your physical appearance doesn’t matter.
It’s enough to read some Hollywood gossip, to know that one can look amazing and still be a terrible girlfriend/wife.
From the same source, you can also learn that being attractive won’t protect you from being treated unfairly by your partner.
When it comes to having a healthy and happy relationship, there are things that are far more important and can have a much bigger impact on how happy you and your boyfriend are together.
How to Be a Better Girlfriend
Now that you really understand what it means to be a good or a bad girlfriend, we can finally get to the five most important ways you can be a better partner for your boyfriend.
When it comes to the matters of evaluating oneself people often tend to jump between two extremes.
One moment they might feel like they are being an amazing girlfriend.
And then something happens, insecurities kick in and the same woman might suddenly feel like she is a terrible partner.
The best way to snap out of it is to embrace the fact that we are all both: pretty bad girlfriends (at times) and amazing girlfriends too!
We are all human, we make mistakes.
Nobody is perfect.
At the same time, we often try to do our best and are kind and caring.
The ultimate trick to becoming a better girlfriend is to try to minimize the bad and to boost all the good behaviors.
1. Make an Effort to Be More Honest and Open
Honesty is one of the big qualities that makes a good girlfriend. Yet being completely honest is often something that is easier said than done.
Being honest can be difficult…
It forces you to reveal your true feelings and face relationship problems.
Hiding things that could potentially trigger a fight can seem like the better and more reasonable solution in many situations.
This kind of attitude always backfires in the long run though.
Even though honesty can trigger arguments sometimes, it also removes emotional barriers in your relationship and will bring you and your boyfriend closer together. This in turn, will make him trust you more.
One of the most important ways you can be a better girlfriend is to keep less secrets from your partner and try to be more honest with him instead.
2. Try to Be More Considerate
Happy relationships are all about compromise, right?
Or is compromise just another word for ‘Settling for things you don’t want’?
Always giving in and doing things your boyfriend’s way will inevitably make you bitter and resentful.
At the same time, you being the one who decides and controls EVERYTHING will have the same effect on him.
It can be tricky to find the right balance between being considerate of boyfriends wants and needs, and not sacrificing what you want for him.
Different couples are often on different sides of the scale when it comes to this.
Sometimes it’s the man who is sacrificing himself more. Sometimes it’s the woman.
Depending on the situation in your relationship, in order to become a better girlfriend you might need to be more considerate towards what your boyfriend wants and needs.
But if he is the one who is calling most of the shots and you often end up sacrificing what you want for him, then maybe you need to be more considerate towards yourself.
In this case, being more selfish is actually what would make you a better girlfriend.
3. Communicate as Much as You Can
Much like with honesty, communication is something you can never have enough of in a relationship.
Yet, it’s also something most couples struggle with too.
It is often easier to just imply things and hope that your partner will get the hint… But doing this unfortunately, often leaves the other person feeling a bit manipulated.
We all resort to manipulation sometimes (often without fully realising we’re doing it).
We throw tantrums for an effect, storm off in the hopes that he will come chasing after you or give silent treatment to show how hurt we are about something.
Unfortunately, all these kinds of manipulative behaviors are destructive. So much so, that they can even drive a man away.
One of the most important ways you can become a better girlfriend is to make an effort to try to manipulate him less and communicate more openly instead.
This way, not only you are much more likely to actually get more of what you want from your boyfriend, but will also make room for him to express things more openly too.
It’s one of the most powerful and effective ways to improve a relationship and also to be an amazing girlfriend.
4. Try to Be More Kind and Caring
People rarely think of themselves as cruel. Yet we can often be incredibly hard on ourselves.
I used to think things like: ‘why am I so lazy?’, ‘why can’t I just get this done?’, ‘why am I being so difficult about this’ etc.
The thing about being tough on oneself is that it is borderline cruelty.
Moreover, we relate to the ones closest to us the same way we relate to ourselves.
So if you’re being unreasonably hard on yourself, chances are you’re just as unreasonably hard on your boyfriend too.
Everybody has their flaws and limits. At the same time, we mostly try to do our best and life can be really difficult at times.
The only way to become a more kind and caring girlfriend is by becoming more patient, understanding and kinder towards yourself first.
Less toughness and more kindness can work wonders for you and your relationship.
It’s also what you should strive towards in order to be a better girlfriend.
It’s normal to need time and space for yourself. Everybody has their limits.
When I come back from work tired and frustrated, there is no way I can be particularly emotionally available towards Gabriel.
After having rested for a bit though, I always try to make an effort to connect more so that we can feel closer again.
Being a better emotional girlfriend is all about being receptive to where your partner is at, making room for him, being understanding and empathizing with him.
This kind of exchange always feels very nurturing to both sides.
Being more receptive and less dismissive of your boyfriend’s thoughts and feelings is the last big way you can be a better girlfriend.
How Do I Start Being a Better Girlfriend
When it comes to starting with new things, in my experience, it always works out best to begin with what feels easiest and most straightforward.
Implementing any of the above mentioned steps is bound to help you out in becoming a better girlfriend.
Relationships are complicated. Loving someone is never easy!
All couples fight, face unforeseen challenges, make mistakes.
The first years of my relationship with Gabriel were extremely tumultuous. I knew he was very special to me. Yet, at the same time, we had problems and would sometimes feel like maybe we’re just too different to even make it work.
I often blamed myself. I felt like maybe I’m just not good enough to make a man want to commit to being with me.
The truth is. Nobody ever taught me how to do relationships.
Being a good girlfriend is not something you’re born with, it’s a skill.
And skills can be learnt.
Being good in relationships is extremely rewarding, as it brings you and your boyfriend closer physically and emotionally.
It took Gabriel and me years to figure out our problems. We were stuck in endless fights and even broke up a few times. But eventually we figured it out!
Now we teach others how to do relationships the right way.
We used all our knowledge and experiences and put together an online course: Rebuild Your Relationship to help women transform their love lives.
Here we will give you step by step guides complete with phrases you can use to become a better girlfriend.
You’ll learn all the typical mistakes and pitfalls women fall into in relationships and how to avoid them.
We’ll also give you tools on how to get him to love and appreciate you more, so that you won’t have to doubt yourself anymore!
If you have any questions about the qualities of a good or a bad girlfriend, or any of the tips mentioned above, leave me a comment below and I’ll get back to you.
There’s something on your mind, and you want to tell him how you feel.
No, at this point, you NEED to tell him how you feel…
In the past you’ve gone above and beyond, tried everything and no matter what, it’s like you’re walking on eggshells…
The moment you open your mouth to say something.
He gets defensive.
“Why are you complaining about this again?”
“I’m always doing everything to make you happy!”
“Is it simply never good enough for you?”
“I’m done talking about this!”
He straight up ignores, denies or retaliates.
And once again, you’re left by yourself. With the feelings you wanted him to acknowledge, totally ignored.
And it hurts.
Now, I hate to tell you this…
…But I was once that defensive guy.
My girlfriend Karolina, who runs this blog with me, would come to me about feelings of hers.
And I would immediately go on defense.
It often didn’t even matter what she tried, I would almost always take things as criticism, even if it wasn’t about me, or she didn’t mean it that way!
But over time she DID eventually get through to me.
We figured it out together and also noticed that it was actually a very common complaint from women in our friends circles, about their boyfriends or husbands.
So what’s behind all of this over-the-top defensiveness, and how do you disarm a defensive person?
In this post, I’m going to tell you how Karolina and I overcame this problem and how you can too.
What Is Defensiveness in a Relationship
Defensiveness in a relationship is when he puts his walls up and retaliates against you, without provocation.
The first part is putting up a barrier, also known as stonewalling, which in itself, is definitely considered a defensive behavior.
(Stonewalling is when he shuts down and doesn’t let you in emotionally.)
In it, we cover how to express your feelings to him, so that he doesn’t get defensive.
So that he finally gets that it’s not about him, that you’re not attacking him, but you just need him to listen and understand.
We put this course together, so other couples don’t have to go through the tedious process of figuring it out too, and instead get the results they want now.
If you have any questions about men getting defensive when you express how you feel, leave them in the comments section below, and I’ll get back to you.
So know that it’s NOT just you who needs constant validation.
It’s men, it’s women, and it’s everybody to a greater or lesser extent.
Now, as for how to ask your partner for reassurance while maintaining your dignity.
As previously mentioned, you can of course just ask for it.
In addition, there are specific ways to ask for reassurance that guarantee you get it and make you feel empowered while doing so.
Since this challenge was such a big part of my own and Karolina’s struggle in our relationship, we were sure to specifically add how exactly to get the validation and reassurance you need in our Rebuild Your Relationship course.
We designed it especially for women and in it, we show you the exact phrases to use to get what you need from your man.
We also teach you how to build confidence so that down the line, you rarely even need reassurance because you will feel secure in your relationship.
There is nothing worse than a man suddenly pulling away from you, right after getting close.
It is the most confusing and illogical thing one can do…
This constant game of my partner getting close, pulling away, getting close again, pulling away again is something that I struggled with in my relationship A LOT.
My boyfriend Gabriel used to act in the sweetest of ways. He’d text me first thing in the morning, arrange for us to meet, planned dates, be appreciative and caring.
Only to suddenly start declining all my suggestions to meet up and I wouldn’t hear from him for days on end.
Or worse, he’d say things like “I don’t know where this relationship is going” or “I’m not sure I believe in life long commitment…”.
Whenever he pulled away from me I’d feel hurt and rejected.
What’s worse, his behaviour made me doubt myself. I started wondering: “Is this my fault? Have I done something wrong?”
Years later I finally managed to drag out the truth from him. Now I know exactly why he acted the way he did and what he was actually wanting me to do about it!
In this blogpost I will share with you all I’ve learned about this common problem nearly all women face.
I’ll go into details on why men pull away, how to deal with it and what to do to get them to stop doing it.
Biggest Reasons Why Guys Suddenly Pull Away After Getting Close
Everybody’s situation is different and unique. There are many factors that can contribute to this and trigger men to pull away from women they care about.
Sometimes their need for sudden distance can arise after a relationship fight.
It can also get set off by external factors such as family or job issues.
And in other cases it might happen seemingly for no reason at all…
Even though the exact circumstances vary from person to person, there are actually some very clear patterns in this puzzling behavior of men.
These are the three biggest underlying reasons that cause guys to pull away after getting close to you:
1. Men Pull Away Because They’re Afraid Of Being Hurt
When two people start going out with each other, they often don’t have full understanding or control over the way the relationship can develop and progress over time.
In our early stages Gabriel and I would have deep meaningful conversations and have so much fun together, it would instantly make us both feel closer and deeply connected to one another.
We didn’t plan for any of these things to happen. They just did, out of the blue…
Even though these kinds of experiences can feel SO GOOD in the moment. You’re suddenly feeling close, happy, in love…
…they can also feel extremely SCARY, especially in retrospect.
Unfortunately, letting someone in on a deeper level means that they can potentially hurt you on a deeper level too.
That’s why guys sometimes pull away from you when they start to really like you or when they’re falling in love with you.
They suddenly realize just how vulnerable they’re becoming and get TERRIFIED of the potential consequences.
So they quickly distance themselves from you to slow things down and minimize any potential damage.
2. Men Pull Away to Get You to Keep On Chasing Them
There is nothing more frustrating than wanting something you cannot have.
Yet at the same time, the fact that you can’t have that one particular thing or person, tends to make it/them so much more DESIRABLE.
The push and pull dynamic is the basis of any romantic movie or series.
Take Gossip Girl for example:
In season one Blair is initially rejecting Chuck. She eventually changes her mind, but by then he is the one rejecting her.
When he finally decides to commit, she changes her mind again and so on and so forth they go for 6 seasons…
Much like in this scene Blair wanted Chuck to fight for her and win her back, the same way when a guy suddenly pulls away from you, he wants you to chase after him.
It’s a power move.
It gives him the feeling he is the one controlling the situation. In his head pulling away from you is a way of ensuring that you’ll stay hooked and remain crazy about him.
3. Men Pull Away to Sabotage the Relationship
When things start going the right way in your life and you’re finally getting something you’ve been wanting for a long time, do you ever feel like ‘it’s just too good to be true’ and then proceed to sabotage it?
I know, this kind of behavior doesn’t make much sense. Yet it’s extremely common.
I did it. Gabriel did it. And you guys have also shared your own stories of sabotage.
Even though Gossip Girl might not be the best place to get healthy relationship advice from, it just so happens that this urge to reject good things in life is a phenomenon that was very well illustrated in the Chuck and Blair dynamic too.
There were countless times when either of them pulled away from the other just for the sake of sabotaging their relationship.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t just happen in TV dramas.
Being on the receiving end of this kind of behavior can be very confusing and hurtful. It’s also something that is actually extremely common.
So, if your man starts suddenly pulling away from you when things are going well or starting to get serious, chances are he is battling some inner demons that are urging him to sabotage the special bond that you guys share.
Is It Normal For Guys to Pull Away?
Yes, it is perfectly normal for guys to pull away from women they care about. All men do it to a greater or lesser degree.
Even in the early stages of a relationship.
Men pull away and come back because they’re testing you and getting to know you.
They’re checking how you’ll react. Whether or not you’ll freak out about it. They want to see how invested you are and if you care about them as much as they care about you.
Unfortunately, this problem does not always disappear as the relationship progresses.
There are countless other factors that can trigger men to suddenly need to distance themselves from you.
A very common type of situation is: men pulling away when they’re stressed.
This could be due to trouble at work or other personal problems. It’s not uncommon for couples to even take breaks from each other when struggling with various external issues.
Either way, in most cases this is not something you need to worry about too much.
Even though unpleasant, it’s a normal relationship problem most couples have to simply learn to deal with.
A little side note here:
If despite all this reassurance, you still feel uneasy about your man suddenly pulling away from you, maybe there is something more sinister that’s going on…
Even though this is such a common problem, this issue tends to make women uneasy and often triggers them to act in ways that only make matters worse.
No need to worry though…
There are a couple of approaches that can help you avoid this typical pitifall and ensure that you can keep your cool and stay high value after he pulls away from you.
1. Don’t Panic
The first necessary step that will allow you to stay high-value in this tricky situation is to simply calm yourself down.
Him pulling away from you is nothing unusual. You don’t need to worry or even think about it too much.
It doesn’t mean anything about you or about your relationship.
It’s just something all men do.
2. Keep in Mind That This Is Not Your Fault
Whenever Gabriel suddenly started pulling away from me, one of my first thoughts was alway ‘is it because of something I did?’.
Unfortunately, us blaming ourselves for things that have nothing to do with us is a problem most people struggle with to some degree.
Firstly, this could be because more often than not, when a man pulls away from you he actually wants you to chase after him.
And when you don’t react the way he hoped you would, he might just decide to keep on waiting for you to change your mind…
In this scenario, you giving him space for a long time, might trigger you guys to get stuck in a situation where both sides are waiting for the other to reach out first.
He might not have the guts to straight up admit that this is where he is at or he may also want to keep on stringing you along just in case.
Either way, the only way for you to find out, is to check in and ask him yourself.
This way you’ll know for sure whether he cares or not and won’t be left waiting for something that might just never happen.
What to Do to Get Him to Stop Pulling Away
Getting a guy to come back after he pulled away from you is generally the easy part. In most cases he simply comes back on his own.
Unfortunately, him coming back doesn’t mean that he won’t suddenly distance himself from you again and again.
A lot of you guys have shared your stories on our blog and I also know this pattern from my own personal experience. Men who pull away from women they care about, generally keep on doing it.
It’s unsettling the first time it happens. Might be heartbreaking when it happens the second or the third time…
But when a guy keeps on pulling away and coming back, it will eventually wear you down. So much so, you might even start thinking that this relationship might already be over.
There is a way to put a stop to this pattern though.
Him pulling away from you, is a sign that the power dynamic in your relationship might be off.
He likely feels like he has got an upper hand, that he doesn’t need to worry about losing you, because he is just so sure that you’ll stick around and stay with him no matter what.
The trick to get him to stop distancing himself from you is for you to regain control in your relationship.
Looking for some playful and fun ways to boost intimacy and spice up your date night? These naughty card games for couples might be just the right thing for you!
My partner Gabriel and I got one of these sets as a present a couple of years ago. Initially, we didn’t think much of it and let it lie forgotten in a bedside drawer for over a year.
But when we found it again and finally decided to give it a go, we absolutely had a blast playing it!
These kinds of date night card games are all very simple, which makes them quick and easy to get into.
Additionally, they all have some sort of connection building element to them. Because of this, they’re perfect for making you feel closer and more intimate with your partner.
They’re also a perfect way to introduce some novelty and unpredictability to a date night and bring back some of that spark from the very beginning of your relationship.
Gabriel and I had so much fun with that one game, it actually inspired me to look for other similar ones to try out. That’s how I created this list of all the best naughty card games for couples out there.
For your convenience, games in this guide are ordered according to their x-rating. Staring off with the most innocent ones and then gradually moving higher up the naughtiness scale… 😉
You’re likely already familiar with the all time classic teenage game: truth or dare.
Where you and your friends asked each other ‘truth or dare?’. And if you choose ‘truth’, you were forced to answer uncomfortable questions that reveal embarrassing things about yourself. And if you choose ‘dare’ you had to do silly little challenges, like talking to your crush or ringing on your neighbors door and running away.
Well, this is an adult version of the classic game, designed specifically for couples to help them bring back some of that teenage giddy-ness into their date night.
This set contains 50 cards, each card has both a ‘truth‘ or a ‘dare‘ you can choose from.
All the truth questions have been designed with couples in mind, so that they can get to know each other more intimately.
The dares are all flirtatious and of sexual nature.
Nothing particularly dirty or explicit. It’s more of a light, easy going, playful kind of date night game.
The most striking thing about this deck of cards is its size.
The cards, as well as the nice tin box they come with, are quite small: 2.4 x 2.4 inches. (6 x 6cm)
This makes the set very discreet and also perfect for traveling.
However, due to the small card size, the questions and dares can be hard to read, especially in dim lighting.
It’s the most innocent of all the card decks I’m going to review here. So if you’re looking for some easy going, and slightly naughty way to spice up your date night, this will be a great fit.
This is actually a very similar game to the Truth or Dare for Couples.
Much like in the other set, each card in the intimacy deck has two options to choose from. Just that instead of truth you have a ‘question’ category and instead of dare there is ‘action’.
The questions in the intimacy deck will get you and your partner to talk about your past experiences, reveal your sexual preferences and fantasies.
Actions, on the other hand, are all flirty, teasing kinds of activities. Again, nothing overly crazy or explicit here.
This deck contains 65 cards with 125 questions and actions to choose from.
Again, it’s a very similar set to Truth or Dare for Couples. The main difference between the two is the design.
The cards in the intimacy deck are also slightly bigger.
Talk, Flirt, Dare is yet another spin-off of the old time classic: truth or dare. Just that here you have THREE options to choose from: talk, flirt or dare.
With this set, you get a separate deck of cards for each one of these categories.
The ‘talk’ cards are to quiz both of you on how well you know each other.
The cards in the ‘flirt’ category will make you two reveal your sexual desires and preferences.
Dare cards (as you probably guessed already…) contain various dares of sexual nature.
This is a larger set than the previous two games, it contains 150 cards in total (50 cards per category).
Also, each card in the deck has only one prompt written on them. Because of this, it actually makes this game slightly more versatile than the previous two.
This allows you to choose just one category (‘flirt‘ for example) and play only with that one on your date night.
You can also use the ‘talk’ deck as a completely separate game to play with friends and family.
Overall, this game is well designed and thought through. The cards are actually regular playing card size with a big readable font.
None of the questions or dares here are particularly crazy or x-rated either. They are very playful and flirty though.
It’s a great game to deepen your emotional bond, boost intimacy and spice things up at the same time.
Alright guys, it’s time to finally significantly move up the naughtiness scale!
Loopy is a date night game for couples that contains 5 different decks of cards divided into four stages of intimacy.
You get ‘Talks’, ‘Kisses’, ‘Fondles’, ‘Fun Activities’ and a mystery bonus deck.
The whole set is 150 cards in total.
It also comes with a spinner and a satin blindfold.
The rules of this game are fairly simple. You start at the first intimacy level: ’Talks’ and then take turns spinning the spinner to determine what the next move will be.
There are four potential outcomes here:
Pick a card and do what it says
Take off a piece of clothing
Pick a card from the bonus deck
Or move up the intimacy level (but only if both players are up for it)
The satin blindfold that’s part of the set comes in handy during the game for some of the activities.
LOOPY is definitely the naughties game so far.
Most of the cards in here contain some dirty questions and activities. There is some controversial stuff in here too. Like questions about your past, cheating, strange fantasies etc.
Also, LOOPY is a bit rough around the edges. It’s made in China and some of the wording and grammar sound a bit strange.
Overall, this card game was designed for couples to mix up foreplay with talking about things, touching each other and discovering new ways to please the other.
This set is perfect for spicing up your date night. If you are open minded and want to try out new fun things, this is absolutely the right game for you.
Cosmo’s Steamy Sex Games is one of a few various date night card game sets released by the editors of Cosmopolitan.
This particular deck contains 118 erotic card with graphics and pictures. The cards can be used to play twelve couples-only bedroom games.
The games included in this set all have very creative names. They are: Dirty Truth or Dare, Sexy Scavenger Hunt, Dirty Disco, A Night of Naughty Adventure, Finish the Fantasy, Dicey Discovery, Titillating Trivia, Get Him Hot, The Cosmo Carnal Challenge, Daring Dice, Sexy Tarot Cards, and A Week of Passion Prop Play
Each of these spicy games comes with instructions, a list of necessary props, rules of the game and the designated cards.
The whole set comes in a fairly small 4.25 x 5 inch bright pink box. (10.8 x 12.7cm)
It’s a well designed, sturdy product. All twelve games are meant as a creative approach to foreplay.
There are some pretty crazy ideas in this box. If you’re looking to experiment with role plays and are up for adding some extra kink in your bedroom, this is the right choice for you.
You’ll definitely make some new experiences as a couple and spice things up with this date night game set.
These naughty card games for couples are great for spicing things up. But if you’re looking to build even more intimacy and connect on a deeper level, be sure to check out: Top 10 Date Night Games To Get To Know Your Partner
Now, maintaining attraction in a long term relationship is not an easy feat. Most couples try to solve this problem by adding new experiences and activities to their routines.
Even though this approach can give you a short term result, it’s unlikely to create the lasting changes you hope for.
That’s because keeping the spark alive actually has little to do with adding new experiences and habits in your relationship. It’s more about removing the things that are preventing you and your partner from feeling attracted to each other instead.
If you’re interested in learning exactly what it takes to restore and maintain attraction in a long term relationship, you can check out our online course Rebuild Your Relationship
Here you’ll learn about the most common blocks that stand in the way of your attraction and what you need to do, to remove them and restore that special connection with your man.
When you’re in a love-hate relationship, you’re gonna feel like everything is just right in one moment: you have warm fuzzy feelings and are tots in love with him…
And the next moment the clouds suddenly come rolling in and it’s hard not to hate everything about the guy.
And all of that within a day or even just an hour, leaving you confused, doubtful, and upset.
Does that sound about right?
If so, let’s dive into love-hate relationships and make some sense of them.
After all, having the repeated experience of loving someone one moment and hating them the next, isn’t easy on your nerves or heart.
And we can’t have that now, can we.
Is It Normal to Hate Your Partner?
First things first, how NORMAL is it to hate your partner?
It is not uncommon in relationships, especially if you find yourself hating him from time to time, rather than always.
Most couples we’ve worked with hate something or other about their partner.
Whether it’s a small issue, like the way he tells the exact same story at every social event.
But feeling hatred towards your partner is an indicator that something in your relationship isn’t quite right and could do with ADJUSTING.
More on that later, but first we need to explore a few more questions surrounding love-hate relationships.
Is a Love-Hate Relationship Healthy?
The short answer is, No, it’s not healthy.
But things aren’t always so simple, are they? Since love-hate relationships have -well, BOTH components.
So let’s separate the two for a moment:
1. Everything that is ‘Loving’ in your relationship is definitely healthy and good for yours and his heart, and will help nurture your special connection.
When you’re in the ‘love’ mode, you’re happy right?
2. By contrast, everything that is ‘Hating’ is going to push you both further apart and hurt your relationship. (especially if you’re directing your hatred at each other)
So instead of slapping a generic label on your love-hate relationship and calling it either ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’…
We take what IS WORKING and say:
“Awesome! I’m sure when you’re feeling loving, the sparks that go flying between you two can be seen from miles away!”
And then in turn we try and understand where the hate is coming from.
In moments of feeling hateful towards Karolina (my girlfriend who runs this blog with me) it was ALWAYS a sign that something WASN’T WORKING for me.
I was not getting something in my relationship that I really needed.
So when you’re feeling hateful towards him, think about what you’re NOT GETTING from him that you really need!
Can You Love Someone and Hate Them at the Same Time?
Of course you can.
Let’s take Fifty Shades of Grey as an example.
“I’m crazy in love with you, but I want to kinky-torture you in my play dungeon.”
Or take Edward from Twilight:
“Life without you is simply not possible. But I might just kill you.”
What I want to get across is: no relationship is free of some darker elements.
In a sense, EVERY relationship is a love-hate relationship.
So yes, you can love someone and hate them at the same time.
Because at some point or another everybody has moments of hating their partner. We’re only human after all.
But what’s important here, is your ‘Love-Hate RATIO’.
If you’re at 95% Love – 5% Hate, then consider yourself lucky.
But if you feel like you’re more at 50% Love – 50% Hate, then it makes sense you’re looking for answers and a way to increase the love and DECREASE the hate.
Things are certainly more challenging, when you feel MORE hatred than love.
But for now, take a moment to think about what your ‘Love-Hate Ratio’ is.
Is Hate a Sign of Love?
Hate is certainly a strong emotion.
But I would not say it’s a sign of love.
I know it’s a message that is circulated a lot.
That if you hate someone, surely it’s a sign that you deeply care about them?
But as mentioned, hate is a sign that something isn’t working for you in your relationship. And if that sign is ignored for too long, the feelings pile up and can result in some toxic relationship habits.
What Causes a Love-Hate Relationship?
So now it’s finally time to get to the bottom of all this, ‘you ready?
Alright, let’s do this.
A love-hate relationship is caused by the emotional baggage BOTH of you bring to your relationship.
…I know we’d all like to think we had a perfectly happy childhood.
But the fact of the matter is, the topic of mental health is on the rise as the stigma fades.
You’ve likely heard about many public figures coming forward and talking about their personal and relationship struggles and how much they attribute it, to the emotional baggage from their upbringing. (Like Paris Hilton in her documentary ‘This is Paris‘)
It’s becoming clear that this is a rather wide-spread issue that affects people from all walks of life.
And I can say the same for myself and EVERYBODY I’ve known:
None of us have gone through life unscarred.
Over the course of my relationship, my emotional baggage caused me to do and say things that hurt Karolina and she me.
When these kinds of hurtful experiences go on unaddressed for a period of time, they tend to turn into resentment.
And when resentment continues to pile up, it turns into hate.
Hate is something that evolves from being hurt over and over again.
How to Reduce Hate in a Love-Hate Relationship
In order to have less hate and more love in your relationship, you need to start talking about your emotional baggage and also address some of the hurtful things that you’ve done to each other.
It’s RARELY easy to bring up unpleasant events from the past.
But if you’re serious about making it work with him in a long run, these issues will need addressing sooner or later.
Supporting each other while working through our own emotional baggage is what allowed Karolina and myself to significantly reduce the hate in our relationship and make room for WAY MORE love. 💗
We saw how many couples struggled with their own love-hate dynamic, and it’s the reason we create our Rebuild Your Relationship course for women.
In it we cover our journey, through our love-hate challenges, and how you too, can overcome your own.
We explain where these hateful feelings come from and give you the mindset and exact steps you need to defuse the hate and finally turn your relationship into the loving, connected and stable one you deserve.
We always believed that relationships should be FUN and uplifting! And we were obsessed with finding real-world practical solutions for our relationship problems. Today we help others do the same with our blog.
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