Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

Nobody’s Perfect.

We ALL do things that drive people away without even REALIZING IT.

Men have their own set of unique sensitivities and certain things send them running for the hills.

Here are the top #5 behaviors you want to avoid and alternatives that will get you what you want.

#1 Controlling Behavior Drives Men Away

Just like any creature on this planet, men enjoy their sense of freedom.

I’m not referring to sexual escapades or endlessly flirting with strangers.

I mean the freedom to BE HIMSELF.

In my previous relationship, I had a controlling girlfriend.

She believed it to be okay to impose and manage me, my behavior, my activities, what I said and did not say, the way I wrote my texts when I should pick her up and drop her off, etc.

It was WAY too much.

And ultimately I just felt suffocated. I couldn’t take it anymore, so we ended it.

We’re all unique and have our own ways of ‘doing life’.

So be sure to give your partner a lot of breathing space and room for self-expression.

If there are things that bother you or you have unmet needs, communicate them to him.

Don’t be tempted to subtly manipulate and control him.

This will only create resentment and drive him away in the long run.

#2 Nagging Behavior Makes Men Keep Distance

If there’s one thing men cannot handle, it’s nagging.

Nagging is the behavior of repeatedly complaining or finding faults without the intention of actually finding solutions.

Don’t be like his mother.

This is one of THE MOST surefire ways of driving him away from you.

What’s more, it’ll become increasingly unlikely that you’ll achieve the change you desire!

It’s OKAY and perfectly natural to want things from your man.

But don’t succumb to nagging behavior.

Instead, be sure to get him to listen to you, so that you can communicate what about his behavior (or lack thereof) is bothering you.

#3 Seeming Perfect Will Shut Men Down

This is something Karolina and I struggled with for a LONG TIME!

As we talked through this problem, it became clear that Karolina felt an IMMENSE unspoken pressure as a woman.

Which decreed:

You have to be flawless, you cannot make mistakes, you always have to be perfect.

And we BOTH suffered because of this.

Think about it, if she has to be flawless and can’t admit to mistakes, who’s left to blame?

This leads to a series of serious conflicts and it wasn’t until we resolved this issue, that the tension finally dissolved.

So it’s important to note that if you can’t admit to – or take responsibility for mistakes, they’re automatically unloaded onto him.

This, of course, will drive him away.

Instead, have a serious conversation about WHY it’s so difficult to admit to mistakes and the pressure of having to be perfect all of the time.

When you can do this, you’ll gain an IMMENSE amount of respect and TRUST from your man.

#4 Attacking Behavior Will Put Men On The Run

We like to mention this one from time to time because we see how damned common it is (On both sides).

If there’s something between the two of you that isn’t working, don’t go straight for the kill.

Don’t attack, seek to work WITH each other.

Attacking will only escalate the situation and he’ll become increasingly defensive.

Besides this isn’t a fight for domination on who’s right or wrong.

It’s a situation with something that is emotionally upsetting. Maybe certain needs haven’t been met for a while.

So be sure to work with him and focus on finding a solution to the problem.

This way he’s bound to be more understanding and stay close to you.

#5 Enmeshment Makes Men Withdraw

This is especially true in the early stages of a relationship.

The honeymoon phase is a very exciting time, but it’s still important to let it grow organically.

Don’t get attached too soon or try to steer and control things.

He’ll be scared off this way.

Even further down the line this principle still applies.

Karolina and I have grown together as a couple, but we still enjoy our alone time.

Treating each other as individuals rather than solely sharing a couple identity gives us a great sense of freedom.

Like we’re choosing to be together, not building on enmeshment.

So don’t assume automatic rights to each other or force the relationship along.

Keep it cool, go easy and enjoy the ride.

How do you feel about behaviors that drive men running away? Do you have any questions or a different perspective on the matter?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section!

Gabriel

Gabriel Brenner