Photo by Analise Benevides

Love is confusing.

It comes with lots of ups and downs.

When Gabriel and I started dating, there were times when everything was perfect.

We couldn’t get enough of each other, it seemed like we were on the same page about most things.

It was clear to me then that he is THE ONE.

But one week later we’d have a fight about something and I’d immediately start asking myself:

“Are we too different? Do we even want the same thing?”

Even in films, true love always comes with a bit of drama.

But being unsure, whether your boyfriend really cares about you or not can be nerve-racking.

These signs can help you distinguish if a man truly loves you.

1. You Can Be Yourself Around Him

True love is about valuing and accepting another person…

Just the way they are.

Like Marc Darcy did in Bridget Jones’s Diary…

If a man truly loves you he’ll value and appreciate your tastes and preferences.

You won’t have to put on a show and pretend you’re smarter…

Or dumber than you really are.

You’ll feel free to tell him your REAL thoughts and opinions.

Your true love will encourage you to express yourself and be your TRUE SELF around him.

2. You Feel Like He Gets You

Having a strong emotional connection with a man is a definite sign of true love.

If you feel like he just gets the way you tick, that he understands what drives you and what you really want in life…

You’ve hit the JACKPOT!

Having this sort of “unspoken understanding” with your guy is a definite sign of having found your soulmate.

And even if this is a barrier, there are quick ways to improve communication in a relationship so that he does get you!

3. He Is Genuinely Interested In You

There are worlds between a guy who’s just a player and a man who actually wants to know you.

A big part of truly loving someone is taking an active interest in who this person really is.

Your true love will want to hear about your past and where you came from.

If your boyfriend truly loves you he’ll be curious about these things and ask you questions.

He’ll want to get to know you better and better…

So that you two can open up and grow even closer.

4. He Can’t Get Enough Of You

When two people love each other, they rarely want to be apart.

If a man truly loves you, he’ll really value and crave your company.

He’ll ask you out on dates, invite you over, come by to your place, etc.

Moreover, once your date is over and you have to split up for a while, he’ll be sure to ask:

“When will we see each other again?”

He’ll want to make plans to see you over and over again.

If a man makes an effort to spend time with you, he definitely cares about you.

And if not, there are tried-and-true ways to remedy that and really make him want you!

5. He Wants You to Be a Part of His Life

The people we choose to surround ourselves with are an important part of our life.

Everybody loves having friends and family.

If a man is your true love, he will want to share every part of his life with you.

This includes introducing you to everyone else that’s important to him.

He will invite you to come to parties and to meet his friends and family.

On top of that, he’ll be eager for you to like them because he’ll want you all to be able to hang out and have fun together.

He’ll want you to share all his precious moments with you.

6. He Cares About Your Happiness

A big part of loving someone is caring about that their well being.

If a man truly loves you, he will make little efforts to make you happy all the time. Some of which might be habits that happy couples tend to have anyway.

There are little proofs of love that I experience in my relationship EVERY DAY.

Like Gabriel cooking things the way I like, even if he considers my methods a total overkill. Or us watching “boring” movies just because I want to see them.

Your guy doesn’t need to make any HUGE gestures to express his true love for you.

LOTS of little efforts done on an everyday basis can be a constant reminder of his love and affection.

If a man is ready to make little sacrifices, to make you happy, that’s definite proof that he really cares about you.

7. You Can Count On Him

True love is about having each other’s back. It’s about supporting each other through thick and thin.

When you’re in a stressful situation or simply stuck with a problem…

You can count on him to be there.

When I was doing my bachelor’s in architecture, Gabriel was happy to jump in and help out.

I was lost in a creative frenzy and he knew I’d be hungry, so he surprised me by coming by with a giant pizza.

He then patiently held my stick models until the glue became fully solid, no matter what hour of the night.

If you can count on your boyfriend to support you when you need him…

It’s a sure sign, he really DOES love you.

And even if you’re not sure you can count on him, there are still ways to build trust in a relationship. 

8. He Can’t Keep His Hands off of You

Physical attraction and desire play a huge part in any romantic relationship. We are animals after all, equipped with a strong urge to reproduce….

Our sex drive is not all about making babies or just pleasure though, it’s also an incredibly powerful way of connecting with another person.

A big part of what makes physical touch, kissing, affection and everything else feel SO GOOD is when it’s about breaking barriers and finding ways to feel closer and closer to each other.

A man who is in love can’t stop to look for all sorts of possibilities to feel as close to the object of his desire AS POSSIBLE.

If your guy has a hard time keeping his hand off of you, it’s a sure sign your love is true and that he is really into you.

9. You Feel Good When You’re With Him

They say that no other person can make you happy.

It’s true that no matter how much a man loves you, he’ll never be able to solve ALL your life’s problems.

However, in my experience, true love does make you feel really GOOD.

The experience of feeling seen, understood, appreciated is just something that is extremely pleasant.

Add some physical intimacy to this mix and you’ll have all sorts of happiness hormones coursing through your whole body.

True love is the strongest natural happiness inducing drug on the market…

If you feel good when you’re spending time with your boyfriend it’s a sure sign that he is the special someone and that you have finally found the one.

I hope you’re more clear on what true love is now.

In summary, be sure to watch out for these signs in your relationship:

  1. You Can Be Yourself Around Him
  2. You Feel Like He Gets You
  3. He Is Genuinely Interested In You
  4. He Can’t Get Enough Of You
  5. He Wants You to Be a Part of His Life
  6. He Cares About Your Happiness
  7. You Can Count On Him
  8. He Can’t Keep His Hands off of You
  9. You Feel Good When You’re With Him

So, if all these signs fit and you’re now feeling the irrepressible urge to burst into a love song, then our best 50 songs about true love can help complete your Disney princess moment.

If however, reading this has made you doubt his feelings towards you, know that not all hope is lost! There are little things you can do to make him love you more, that can add up to him changing his heart.

Now if you’re already in a serious relationship with a man and for some reason you’re still unclear about whether or not he really loves you, there might be some less obvious reasons driving you to doubt your relationship.

Sometimes it’s not just about the signs of true love from him, but rather that there are things that stand in the way of your connection that can take some deeper work. This is actually why we created the Rebuild Your Relationship course.

Here we dive into the reasons why love can at times feel ambivalent in a relationship and exactly what you need to do to gain clarity and feel connected with him.

We also talk about the often invisible things that stand in the way of true love and what it actually takes to take those walls down to restore a sense of closeness and belonging.

You can click here to check out Rebuild Your Relationship.

This is already a long post by now, but if you have further questions about signs of true love, chances are you’ll find the answers you seek down bellow.

How Do You Know a Man Is Your True Love?

Now it’s all well and good to look out for the signs of true love. But, maybe, even after reading all this, you still aren’t 100% sure whether or not he really is THE ONE for you.

That’s a perfectly normal situation to be in.

The thing about true love is that we have all been brought up with a completely FALSE image of it.

Love stories and fairy tales taught us girls that when we meet our one true love, we’re supposed to know then and there.

That is not only complete BS but also a very unrealistic expectation.

When you just start going out with someone, you generally don’t know that person very well.

How are you then supposed to be able to gauge whether or not you’ll want to spend the rest of your life with this particular man?

That’s right, it’s impossible!

It takes time to get to know somebody, It takes even longer for a person to open up and build trust in a relationship.

The truth is, time will tell whether or not he is your soulmate.

It’s perfectly normal to have doubts about your relationship. Your boyfriend is going to have to prove himself to you. And you’ll have to prove yourself to him. This might take months, or even years.

Only over the course of your relationship can you grow increasingly certain that a man is your one true love.

What Does True Love Really Mean?

So, not only true love is something that gradually develops and deepens between two people as time goes by. There is also another groundbreaking truth about it that most people tend to forget:

True love is not just a chance, it’s a CHOICE.

When you meet someone you appreciate and deeply care about, you then CHOOSE to invest in this relationship. You DECIDE to open up to him and be vulnerable.

True love means making an effort for someone else. It’s about sticking through the tough times. Being ready to put in the work and not letting go and giving up.

Yes, finding your soulmate is about getting together with a person you’re attracted to who is compatible with you.

But more importantly, it’s also about finding someone who is serious, mature, willing to put in the work and wanting to commit to truly loving you.

What is True Love in a Relationship

True love in a relationship is sticking though the rough time and being there for each other. But at the same time, it’s also having a sense of belonging and intimacy. Appreciating your partner and deeply enjoying having them in your life.

Don’t expect things to be perfect.

Even the most compatible of couples will sometimes feel upset and misunderstood. The reality of our relationships is messy. 

True love in a relationship is when the good outweighs the bad by a far margin. 

That there are far more things that you value and cherish about your partner than the ones you resent them for. And vice versa, they too have far more warm feeling towards you than the not so pleasant ones. 

True love in a relationship isn’t one-sided. Both of you care and are willing to invest into making things work. You might not be making the same efforts. For example, one of you might be more diligent in acts of service, while the other is more affectionate and physical. It’s about having a good balance of how much each of you in putting in into making the other one happy.

If you have any questions or would like to add something, let me know in the comments section.

I’d love to hear from you.


Karolina Bartnik