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Let’s be brutally honest here. We are all selfish creatures who act in our own self-interest.

When we do nice things for others, most of the time we DO EXPECT something in return.

Selfishness in relationships is often demonized, but I personally don’t see it as a bad thing.

Doing nice things out of selfish reasons doesn’t diminish their value.

There is nothing wrong with doing loving things for your partner because you want to make them love you in return.

EVERYBODY DOES THAT. We all just pretend that we don’t. 😝

Here are some little things you can do, to make your partner love you more.

1. Appreciate Your Partner’s Efforts

When you notice your partner made an effort to do something that’s new, that they’re a bit unsure of, you might feel this urge to point out flaws and correct him/her right away…

It’s a bad habit that most of us, unfortunately, have.. Really, this ONLY causes DAMAGE to a relationship.

The best way to make your partner love you more is to try to resist this irritating urge and validate your partner instead.

You trying to correct your partner in a situation like this will only put them off and make them more likely to give up.

Validating your partner’s efforts, on the other hand, will encourage them to try harder and do more.

It will make them feel valued and loved and they will inevitably love you in return.

2. Show Them Your Support

Everybody in the whole wide world is desperate to have someone else BELIEVE IN THEM.

When your partner tells you about their goals or resolutions, they desperately want you to support them in their efforts.

Sometimes, your partner’s goals will seem unrealistic or silly.

When that is the case, don’t shoot them down right away.

Take your time to understand their true objective and where they’re coming from.

This will inevitably make it easier for you to be more supportive of your significant other and they’ll love you for it.

3. Compliment Their Appearance

Complimenting someone’s appearance is one of the easiest ways to make them feel good.

People tend to believe that only women care about looking good, but that is so not true.

Straight men want to feel desirable and sexy too!

Even when they pretend not to and totally don’t know how to get there…

Complimenting even little things about your partner’s looks will make them feel special and loved, and they’ll be very likely to pay it back.

4. Compliment Their Intelligence

This might be a shocking one to hear, people are just as insecure about their brains as they are about their looks.

Luckily, complimenting someone’s intelligence is just as easy as complimenting their looks.

Point out when your partner says something smart or when he/she knows something you don’t.

It will boost their confidence and it’s bound to make them appreciate you more.

5. Give Them Your Undivided Attention

Due to our busy schedules and hectic lifestyles, we tend to CONSTANTLY be kind of DISTRACTED.

Chatting with three people at the same time and watching youtube videos while your partner is telling you about their day. We’re all guilty of that sometimes…

A great way to inspire his/her love is to find a way to silence all that hectic noise, put away all your devices and dedicate 100% of your attention to your partner.

It will make your significant other feel important and cared for and he/she will love you for it.

6. Check-In With Your Partner. FOR REAL

When we ask the question “how are you?” most of the time it’s meant as mere politeness.

You might have been asking your partner “How was work?” and he/she has been answering “uhh, ok..” for the past months because they SENSED that you’re not interested in hearing the real answer to that question.

People in relationships often pretend that things are OK for their partner because they don’t want to cause alarm or trouble…

However, checking in with your partner for real and making room for their true emotional state is really crucial for keeping the relationship healthy.

Checking in with your partner and being truly receptive of where they’re at, will make them open up and love you more.

7. Give Them Some Physical Affection

This one is pretty straightforward… Physical touch is a very important love language.

Giving your significant other gentle kisses, snuggles or a massage can instantaneously bring them closer.

It’s a great and easy way to express your feelings for them. It’s foolproof and it’s bound to reignite your partner’s love for you.

8. Set Up And Organize A Date They Have Been Talking About

We all have things that we really want to try but don’t dare do it on our own.

It could a lot of different things like a bouldering class, scuba diving, or just a trip to opera.

For you to organize an activity that your partner has been wanting to do for ages, it’s like a dream come true!

I recently kept on going on about playing badminton. And when we went to do it, I was totally overjoyed. I had so much fun… 🤩😅

When it comes to this topic you have to think of your partner as a kid that’s really hang up on this one particular activity. Like when you were a kid and wanted to go to Disneyland or something.

Fulfilling that one need your partner has most likely brought up in conversation like a million times already, will make them fall over heels for you.

Make their dream come true and they’ll be inspired to do the same for you!

9. Express Your Love Through A Thoughtful Gift

This one is very similar to the dream come true date idea.

We all have things we want, but feel like we don’t deserve.

It might be something big or something totally small.

Like a particular type of cheese or an elaborate cocktail at a fancy bar.

Small things can make a BIG difference!

What is that your partner really wants but doesn’t dare get?

Get it for them and they’ll love you that much more!

10. Help Them Out With Something Difficult

Everybody struggles with certain things…

For example, it’s hard for me to make doctor appointments.

Having Gabriel help me decide which doctor to call and sit by side when I’m on the phone is SUPER HELPFUL.

What does your partner struggle with?

Offer to help them out with that and try to support them through it and they’ll love you for it!

Hope this article inspired you to take action in your relationship and find ways to make your partner love you more!

If you have any questions or comments about this topic and my attitude, please let me know in the comments section! I’d love to hear from you!


Karolina Bartnik