Ghosting, on the other hand, leaves an opening for the possibility of him getting back to you later on.
Some men resort to these types of games when they get to know another woman, whom they consider a better catch.
Getting together with her becomes their prime objective but they want to keep things vague just in case it doesn’t work out according to plan.
That’s why they want to keep their first date as a backup.
I’ve seen guys pull this move countless times.
They’ll first ghost a girl for a couple of weeks and then suddenly get back to her with some lame excuse like:
“Oh sorry, things at work have been so stressful, I just completely forgot about everything else…”
Then they’ll continue stinging her along until the next better catch comes along.
Yes, men can be very calculative sometimes and monkey-bar.
When a guy ghosts you, be careful if you decide to give him a second chance.
Keep in mind that if he truly cared about you, he would have found the time to let you know he was busy.
3. Men Ghost Women Because They Don’t Have to Deal With Any Negative Consequences
Ghosting has become such a prevalent practice since the age of the internet and online dating.
According to a study done by an online dating platform, PlentyOfFish, a staggering 78% of participants experienced being ghosted at least once!
The main advantage of online dating is that it provides a much larger pool of potential partners we may have never met otherwise.
This huge benefit comes with ONE BIG DRAWBACK though:
It allows people to be rude and treat each other badly without ever having to face any real-life consequences.
Most of the time, the person you match with on online dating platforms is a COMPLETE STRANGER.
You don’t have any ties or friends in common.
This means that if this guy acts like a jerk or ghosts you, he’ll most likely NEVER have to deal with any consequences.
You don’t know any of his friends.
And there is NO ONE to whom you could complain about his behavior to that would bring this matter back to him.
Regardless of how he acts, he‘ll never be dubbed as “flaky” or lose face in the eyes of the people whose opinion he actually cares about.
Unfortunately, the lack of accountability often brings up the worst in some people.
When it comes to being ghosted, I’ve seen female friends of mine often blame themselves for it and feel like they did something wrong.
That is mostly NOT the case though.
If you’ve been ghosted recently, you might be feeling regretful, like you missed out on something.
The truth is, you just dodged a bullet here!
Men who resort to ghosting are often immature and aren’t really looking for a serious relationship.
Guys who are too scared to be upfront about things, want to string you along or don’t have any standards or manners are NOT good boyfriend material.
You deserve better than that!
Now if you find yourself in a pattern of being ghosted by guys, or are struggling with a related dating or relationship problem that you’re not not sure how to deal with, then maybe our Coaching Calls can be helpful to you.
In a session, we’ll teach you what it takes to stop being ghosted and avoid those bad apples all together. You’ll also get a strategy specifically tailored to your needs and we’ll show you the exact next steps you need take to attract men that you can count on and are on the same wave length as you.
When a man is genuinely interested in you, he’ll take the time for you and be PRESENT.
You’ll see in his eyes that he’s genuinely into you.
So in summary, watch out for these 5 warning signs that tell you he’s a player:
He’s frequently on his phone and hides it
He’s vague about where he’s been and what he’s doing
He bends the truth and lies
He suddenly disappears without communicating anything
He’s showing no signs of being interested in you as a person
It’ll save you a lot of time and grief.
If you’re struggling with players in your dating life or would like some help with finding the right guy online or in person, then you might want to check out our Coaching Calls we offer.
In a session, we’ll give you a strategy specifically tailored to your needs and show you the exact next steps you need to take, to finally find and keep the man, that you want and you deserve in your life.
Additionally, we’ve got further reading you could be interested in. Like if the signs of a player fit for you, then maybe you need to finally write this guy off as yet another sad but hilarious dating problem.
If you’ve been on even a few dates with men, you’ll definitely have experienced some hilarious and or even awkward dating problems.
Now I don’t mean to knock on men (we’re not all alike).
But sometimes we really take the biscuit with our weird dating behavior.
Here are the Top 5 I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing, one too many times…
#1 Men That Expect You to Fawn Over Them Without Lifting a Finger
These types of guys are GREAT.
They’ll meet you at your set dating spot (On time, if you’re lucky) and make next to NO EFFORT to help the date go smoothly!
In this scenario, it’s all on YOU to ask questions, break awkward silences, keep the conversation afloat and anything else he just can’t be bothered with at the moment.
It’s like an involuntary piggy bag.
Now, I’m no woman, but the number of times I’ve seen female friends of mine have to awkwardly accommodate some guy that is LITERALLY just standing there is more than I care to mention…
How do you do it??
Even when we’re a-holes, you women are just mostly so goddamned NICE TO US!
#2 Men Can Be Utterly Oblivious to Where You’re At
Continuing on the same note…
The same guy that won’t make any effort on your date, is often TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS to how YOU are feeling.
I remember sitting at a bar once waiting for a friend and couldn’t help being in earshot of an awkward date that was unfolding on the table next to me…
Her: <Breaking an awkward silence> “So you’re into computers ‘n stuff?”
Him: “Yeah, you know the newest qualcomm snapdragon 835 sets itself apart from its competitors with an advanced 10-nanometer compact design, requires less juice and can power some pretty high-end mobile devices that…”
And on he went FOR 15 WHOLE MINUTES WITHOUT STOPPING TO CATCH A BREATH.
Now, had she been into tech and computers too, that would be awesome!
They would have had a common interest and could’ve geeked out about it all night long.
But it was clear just how utterly oblivious he was to whether she was following or even INTERESTED in what he was rambling on about!
Nobody was home.
How he landed that date is beyond me, but needless to say I think it was their last.
#3 Men That Love to Talk About Themselves at All Times
Yes, men love to tell the epic tales of how we slew the mighty dragon, rescued the damsel in distress and freed good people of the valley from oppressive tyranny with nothing but one sweep of our mighty sword.
I kid you not, some guys really see themselves this way.
You may have had the pleasure of happening upon one such fellow yourself.
I’ll admit that in my dating days, I too was guilty of trumpeting my tales to woo the ladies (who were likely bored of their skulls)
If you happen to be one such woman…
On behalf of men, do accept my most sincere apologies. We know not, what we say when our brains swell to such disproportionate dimensions.
Having said all of that.
I’ve observed women secretly amused and entertained as they egg boasting men on to ever greater exaggerations of their lies tales.
So I guess it can be funny.
#4 Men Try so Hard to Impress You, It Can Be Embarrassing
I think it’s perfectly normal to flex.
Both women and men will show off their strengths to attract and impress someone they like.
But there are limits right?
Like when I guy goes WAAAY out of his way to impress you, that it becomes silly or even worse, uncomfortable.
There are countless hilarious and embarrassing videos on YouTube of men going a little too far to impress a woman.
They say love is blind.
It seems to me, it can sometimes render a man utterly blind to the inefficiencies of his silly mating rituals.
So much so, that he sends the woman he hoped to impress scurrying for cover.
#5 Some Men Believe You Can Be Bought With Drinks or Dinner
“Can I get you a drink?” – The all-time classic opener.
There’s almost nothing less charming or flattering.
If you interviewed all the women that were approached by men during an evening at a bar or club.
What percentage of women do you think would tell you that the first thing they were asked was whether he could “Get you a drink?”
I bet it’s embarrassingly higher than we’d like to think.
5. If He Still Can’t Take the Hint, Try Asking Him out Yourself
Some guys are just so oblivious to girls hitting on them, there is no way around it.
Regardless of how hard you try, they’ll think you’re just being friendly and aren’t really interested in them.
Another rare case is guys who are so shy, they just don’t dare to ask anybody out.
No matter what the situation is here…
It is perfectly OKAY for a girl to ask a guy out nowadays!
There is nothing wrong with you taking matters into your own hands.
A lot of guys actually like and appreciate it.
One big thing to consider when deciding to ask your crush out is that he might say just say ‘No’.
Nobody likes to be rejected, but guys deal with it THE WHOLE TIME!
And if they can to survive it, SO CAN YOU! 😉
Taking charge and asking your guy out will give you a clear answer, he’ll either say “Yes” or “No”.
You won’t have to resort to games and tricks anymore and you won’t have to wonder “Does he like me?” or “Why hasn’t he texted me yet?”.
You’ll know for sure whether he is interested or not.
Getting a guy to ask you out can be a long process.
When Gabriel and I got to know each other I resorted to all sorts of tricks to get his attention and make him interested.
But ultimately it’s just all about putting yourself out there and hoping that he feels attracted to you too…
If it’s meant to be, it will work out.
If it doesn’t, you’ll find someone else.
So don’t worry too much and just go for it!
If you’re still unsure or are afraid that your heart will be beating off the charts when you try to get him to ask you out, maybe you’d like to have a dating-expert in your corner with our Coaching Calls.
Here we’ll create a personalized strategy just for you, to put all the odds in your favor and have him falling over himself to ask you out. You’ll be in an empowered position and will move forward with confidence in your dating life.
But you’re better off, taking this is as yet another sign of him not being into you.
9. He Says He Wants to “Keep Things Casual”
Deciding to become exclusive with each other is a big deal, and it doesn’t always happen right away.
Gabriel and I only became ‘officially exclusive’ about one and a half months after we started dating.
It’s not that we were seeing other people at the time, we were just both wary of commitment and we wanted to take things slow.
(Yes, I’m a girl and I used to be afraid of commitment, cases like me exist! 😆)
But if you’ve been going out with someone for MONTHS and he repeatedly says that he wants to
“Keep things casual.”
DO BELIEVE HIM.
He clearly isn’t really in love with you and wants to keep looking.
10. He Makes up a Pet Name for You Right Away
This is more of a sign that a guy is into you physically….
BUT he is NOT SERIOUS about you.
It’s a phenomenon I’ve actually repeatedly observed while hanging out with some SERIAL PLAYERS.
(I used to sail a lot in my twenties and met some really deceitful guys those circles…)
When a guy gives you a cute pet name, like sweety, honey, etc right after the FIRST DATE.
It’s NOT a sign of endearment.
He is just in it to get LAID and can’t even be BOTHERED trying to remember your name.
Outrageous, I know…
I once happened to sail on the boat with a guy who slept with THREE different girls in ONE week!
He called each one of them “My Kit Kat”…
So take it as a clear sign that a guy ISN’T into you…
11. You Feel That He Doesn’t Really Care About You
When it comes to matters of heart, our intuition is often our best compass.
Even if a guy says and does ALL THE RIGHT THINGS, but something still FEELS OFF for you, trust your gut on this one.
Maybe you’re just a trophy to him…
(Yes, guys can be gold diggers too!)
A man who is with you for your looks or money only, won’t stay true to you in the long run.
You deserve to be with someone who truly cares about YOU.
I hope you are now feeling clearer on how to tell when a guy just isn’t into you.
Realizing that your crush doesn’t really care about you is always tough but it will protect you from future heartbreak!
And if you find yourself falling for guys that are either not into you, give you mixed messages or require you to make all of the effort which leave you feeling drained and unfulfilled, then maybe you’ll be interested in our Coaching Calls.
In them we’ll explain to you the specific things you need to do, to turn the guys from not taking you seriously, to seriously crushing on you. And you’ll also learn how to safeguard yourself from future disappointment by detecting the signs early and know how to spot suitable and worthy candidates instead.
We always believed that relationships should be FUN and uplifting! And we were obsessed with finding real-world practical solutions for our relationship problems. Today we help others do the same with our blog.