Signs He Is Losing Interest According To A Man

Signs He Is Losing Interest According To A Man

Photo by Cody Portraits

Are you feeling worried or anxious? Maybe even a little panicked that your man is losing interest in you?

The other day he may have been a little inattentive, dismissive or snappy with you. Or when you want to snuggle or have sex, he’s just always “Not in the mood right now…”

He seems to prefer spending more time with others -or his phone- and avoids prolonged eye-contact, and might even straight up disappear without a word and leave you alone.

It’s normal for the honeymoon phase to fade, but there are degrees at which relationships deteriorate. And since you’re here, it’s likely feeling critical…

Now, however he is communicating his disinterest, I’m here to help you with that.

First by clarifying whether he is actually losing interest with the help of 10 signs for you to look out for.

And secondly, we’ll get into what you can do to COUNTER-STEER him not taking notice of you.

Hi, I’m Gabriel and I run this blog with my wife Karolina. In this post, I’ll be evaluating your situation and answering your questions, while giving you direction from a man’s perspective.

So let’s take a deep breath…. Relax on the exhale, and do this together.

10 Signs He Is Losing Interest In You

There are many indicators that you’ll need to look out for, some more subtle, others rather blatant.

Look out for the following signs and see how many fit for you. The more do, the clearer the unfortunate answer that you are losing him.

But don’t worry, even if you’re on the unlucky side of things, we’ll cover what you can do to remedy your situation and draw him back in -right after we cover these signs!

1. Is he emotionally withdrawing since more than a week?

One of the first things a man will do when he’s losing interest is emotionally withdraw from you.

Where you once felt an air of warmth, charm and love emanating from him, you now feel quite the opposite.

He seems… distant, reserved and has gone silent -in an almost UNKIND manner.

When your man has been this way for more than a week and continues to be, then you have your first sign that he is losing interest.

2. Does he avoid physical touch?

Physical touch is a large part of what distinguishes platonic relationships from romantic ones.

And I’m sure you appreciate and crave closeness just like anybody else. You and your partner will have your familiar ways of touching, being affectionate, and loving towards one another.

So when he suddenly starts avoiding physical touch, it’s likely something you notice pretty QUICKLY.

When you seek a reassuring touch, he might avoid it, move your hands off of himself or even walk away from you without a word.

If a man is AVOIDING your physical touch in this way, consider it another sign that he is losing interest.

3. Is he avoiding eye contact with you?

Did you know that the human face has 42 individual muscles? This is what allows us to express so much complex emotion with our partner without even exchanging a word.

And it’s when your eyes meet that you read each other’s facial expressions to determine what the other side is feeling and thinking… It plays a large role in how we connect.

Avoiding eye contact is a means of not connecting, of NOT LETTING someone read you, because they don’t want to let you in.

So if he is not meeting your gaze or avoiding eye contact, it is a sign that he is distancing himself and becoming less attentive.

4. Does he have an excuse ready every time you want to be intimate?

Intimacy, arguably, plays the biggest part in what makes a romantic relationship -romantic!

It is a beautiful means of deeply connecting, exploring and getting to know each other in new and exciting ways every time.

One that you don’t just share with anybody, because it carries a lot of meaning.

So if he has an excuse ready every time you desire intimacy:

  • “I’m tired…”
  • “I want to go workout”
  • “I’m meeting friends”
  • “I can’t, I’m busy with work”

And if it’s been a few weeks since you had sex, or he avoids sex altogether (and it’s not caused by understandable physical complications that got in the way)…

…then it is an indication he is losing interest in you and a cause for concern.

5. Have you suggested activities together, that he keeps declining?

When you feel something is off in your relationship, your reaction may be to fix it by reconnecting with an activity together.

Sports, games, museum visits, whatever shared interests you previously had will likely have come to mind.

But when you propose activities that you know for a fact he likes, and he repeatedly refuses them, then something is definitely off…

6. Is he distant during sex?

Although couples often develop routines for their time between the sheets and their sex might look like the same thing over and over again, it can actually FEEL very different each time.

Because where your partner is at emotionally and mentally translates all the way down to his fingertips and across into your body…

This goes the other way around too, of course.

Where you guys are coming from in your lovemaking can make it feel like cloud nine or crappy.

And when he’s distant or absent during sex, you will FEEL and notice that!

So if you’ve experienced him being increasingly unavailable, and it feels like he’s barely noticing you during sex, then it’s a definite sign he is losing interest.

7. Does he avoid you at events or parties?

Social engagements with your partner are fun, right? — Or are they?

There are few things more humiliating than going to an event with him, whereupon arriving, he immediately ducks out and avoids you like the plague throughout the evening.

Especially if you see him laughing and enjoying himself with others -or worse, with other women.

Unless you’ve had a big fight just before the party that left you both fuming and ignoring each other, there is no reason for him to be acting this way, unless of course he is no longer partial towards you…

8. Is he paying more attention to other women than to you?

It’s perfectly common for either of you to sneak a guilty glance at an attractive passer by every once in a while.

But if he’s making a habit of it, is talking to other women, and giving them more attention than he does to you, that’s a definite RED-ALERT!

(Whether these interactions are in person or online.)

You are his partner and as such, deserve to have priority and exclusivity when it comes to his attention.

So if you feel like second place, like he doesn’t love you anymore, and he’s endlessly taking more time for other women than he does for you, take it as a definite sign that he is losing interest.

9. Does he seem to be on autopilot with you?

We can all get overwhelmed with our demanding lives and the people in it at times…

So we zone out, put on cruise control and meander through our day just to make it home for some shut-eye. During these times we’re inattentive, easily distracted and unfocused.

I’m sure you’ve experienced this inattentive side of him too, and that’s perfectly okay from TIME TO TIME:

  • “Sorry, did you say something?”
  • “Yeah, honey of course… — what?”
  • “Sure, sure, whatever you say”

But if him not listening, being unresponsive or not being present with you is STANDARD procedure, where he’s constantly on autopilot and drifts off, then that’s another sign for you.

10. Is he taking more liberties with bad behavior?

We all have our limits, and it can be especially difficult to keep your cool in long-term relationships. Since you’ve known each other for such a long time and are familiar with the others’ tendencies and patterns…

But if you find that he’s showing and expressing his frustration without restraint, and is on bad behavior, it’s something to keep an eye on.

Because when partners lose interest in their relationship, they take even more liberties to act out of line and risk sabotaging things further!

So if this fits for you, consider it a final sign.


How many signs fit for you? Remember, the more fit, the likelier it is that he is unfortunately losing interest.

Especially if you’re at 6 signs or more.

But I want you to check in with yourself as well, though. Do you FEEL like he’s losing interest? What does your gut tell you?

It’s also helpful to listen to your own instincts to give you a clearer answer.

Now, if your answer is ‘Yes, I believe he is losing interest’.

Then the obvious next question would be…

How do I make him interested again?

First, let me say that you’re in a good position here.

Good in that you’ve noticed something was off early enough to act and PREVENT things from escalating further!

Many of our coaching clients make the unfortunate mistake of missing the signs that he’s losing interest and only retrospectively recognizing them once their partner has already become an ex-partner.

And it’s much harder to reverse a breakup, than it is to pre-empt a breakup.

Which is exactly why we created Rebuild Your Relationship.

In this course, we’ll help you identify what is making him lose interest and distance himself. Including the how to dissolve the issues that have been piling up in your relationship.

And finally, you’ll learn our step-by-step guide to win back your man’s heart and secure your relationship for good.

Click here to check out Rebuild Your Relationship.

Now, there are many ways back to a man’s heart. And you do not have to cover all bases to succeed at winning him over again.

Don’t strive for perfection, but rather find an approach that fits your character and style.

You can pick out the approaches that work best for you in my post: Make Him Want You With These 7 Sneaky Ways.

Thank you for reading, I hope you found the answers you were looking for.

What are the signs you noticed that indicated that he was losing interest? Let me know in the comments section.

See you on my next post,


6 Reasons He Isn’t Texting You Back & What To Do

6 Reasons He Isn’t Texting You Back & What To Do

Photo by George Dolgikh

You sent him a text a few hours, days -or even a week ago, and he still hasn’t texted you back?

You know he got your text because you’ve seen him online, or got a ‘delivered’ confirmation, or he may have even straight up left you on ‘read’.

Which understandably has you asking what to do when he doesn’t text you back?

Hi, I’m Gabriel, and I’m going to help you with your dilemma. In today’s post, I’ll talk about what you should (and should not) do to get him to text you back.

Topics include:

  • Common reasons why men don’t text you back
  • Should you text again if there’s no reply
  • What to do when he doesn’t text you back
  • What if he doesn’t text back at all?

Enough introduction, let’s relieve some of your concerns!

5 Most Common Reasons Why Guys Do Not Text You Back

First and foremost, it’s crucial that we talk about WHY he might not be texting back. Because if you don’t take these points into account, you’re going in blind and risk screwing up your chances.

So let’s quickly go over the reasons why he might not be texting you back.

1. He’s Genuinely Busy

Out of the following six reasons, this is admittedly a less common scenario, because in most instances, he should have a moment to send you a short text to let you know everything’s okay.

But it may be that he’s having a genuinely busy day that’s preoccupying his ENTIRE attention.

Whether it’s a demanding boss drowning him in paperwork, family drama that he needs to sort out, or something else entirely.

2. He Didn’t Think Your Text Required A Response

If you sent him a text that he might interpret as something not requiring an answer, he might just leave you on ‘read.’

When he doesn’t see a clear question or intention behind a text, he might let the conversation run dry or leave you hanging awkwardly.

Possibly not even thinking much of it, he shrugs his shoulders, and simply goes about his day.

Totally oblivious, that you were hoping for him to text you back.

3. He’s Annoyed About Something That Happened

Something might have gone down between the two of you, and he’s annoyed or even angry about it.

His answer to the problem? — Throw a tantrum and not text you back.

Whatever big or small incident may have transpired between you two, it’ll be important to eventually clear the air once he gives you a chance.

4. He Wants Space

Him not texting you back can also be his indirect way of telling you that he just wants space.

As to why he wants space, that could be for multiple reasons, including the previous point (him being annoyed or hurt about something).

All in all, it’s best to give him space the right way before reaching out again.

5. He’s A Player -And You Shouldn’t Trust Him

Sometimes the simple reason he’s not texting back is that he’s a player.

Players juggle multiple women at once and are NOT SERIOUS about a relationship!

So they do the bare minimum to string you along, and that can mean not bothering to text you back in a timely manner.

If you’re unsure and maybe haven’t known him for a long time, these warning signs will tell you if he’s a player.

6. He’s Not Interested

Now, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it needs to be said:

Sometimes a guy might not message you back because your feelings are unfortunately one-sided.

To you, it may have been absolutely AMAZING, and you’re head over heels and missed the signs that he isn’t into you.

But I hope to be wrong on this one!

Should I Text Again If There Is No Reply?

9 out of 10 times, you should NOT text again if there is no reply. At least not immediately!


Because you’ll be ruining your chances or potentially hurting yourself, REGARDLESS of which scenario he fits into:

1. He’s Genuinely Busy

If you text him again, he’ll see all your messages once he gets the chance to catch a breath and might think you are needy or controlling, which won’t help your chances.

2. He Doesn’t Think Your Text Required A Response

Best case scenario, you manage to clarify that you actually were hoping for a response, and he happily obliges. But it’s likelier that he’ll think you’re being pushy if you text again too soon.

3. He’s Annoyed About Something That Happened or 4. He Wants Space

In these scenarios, he’ll become MORE agitated with you if you text him again because he’s sulking and needs some time.

5. He’s A Player -And You Shouldn’t Trust Him

You’d be heading down a dead end street and wasting your energy. Time to cut him loose and finally find the right guy.

6. He’s Not Interested

If you know this is the case, then texting him again would be a wild goose chase and potentially mean further hurt for you. Maybe save yourself the trouble and come to terms with it being a one-sided love…

So for these reasons (and more that we won’t cover today) it’s best to WAIT for two to three days before texting him again.

If you do, he’ll think of you as laid back and appreciate you giving him the time he needed to come around again.

As you can see, pausing and giving him some space is often what you should do when he isn’t texting you back, instead of texting again.

Is No Response A Rejection?

No response is a response, but it does not necessarily mean rejection. Rather, it entirely depends on your particular circumstances.

If he falls into any of the first 4 categories we covered:

  1. He’s genuinely busy
  2. He doesn’t think your text required a response
  3. He’s annoyed about something that happened
  4. He wants space

— Then him not responding DOES NOT automatically equal rejection. You’ll likely get a chance to clarify things and reconnect.

Now with all of that out of the way, let’s finally discuss…

What To Do When He Doesn’t Text You Back – 7 Steps

1. Don’t Panic, Stay Cool

Is your mind racing with all sorts of unpleasant or even horrible scenarios to explain him not texting you back?

  • ‘What if he changed his mind and doesn’t like me?’
  • ‘Did he already meet some other girl?’
  • ‘Was he actually a player?’
  • ‘What if he got hit by a car??’

If so, I recommend putting your phone aside for a moment. Take a deep couple of breaths and relax…

Chances of anything dramatic having happened are statistically slim, and everything is going to be OKAY.

2. Definitely Don’t Spam Him

You might be tempted to grab your phone and repeatedly text or call him, or like his posts on social media to finally invoke a response from him.

If this is you, definitely DO NOT do it.

Remaining calm is vital in a moment like this, because if you go off the rails now, you might just scare him off for good.

Don’t ruin your chances.

3. Do Not Text Him Again Right Away

In addition, you certainly don’t want to text him hours (let alone minutes) after your prior text.

Now is the time to play the waiting game…

And waiting means 2–3 days before you text him again. Yes, 2 whole days at least!


Because you need to SHOW him that you’re not desperate. Nothing will scare a man off faster than desperation.

4. Shift Your Focus To Something Unrelated

We’ve talked about what not to do so far. Now the first thing you should do when he isn’t texting you back is to shift your focus to something engaging that is ENTIRELY unrelated to him.

This will help you get through those couple of days.

It can be work, hobbies, friends, family, etc. Dedicate your full attention to people or an activity that captivates you.

And time will fly by in… well, no time!

What’s more, doing this (amongst other sneaky tricks) will actually make him miss you.

5. If He Texts You First…

It goes without saying that if he texts you prior to the 2–3 days being complete, it’s okay to respond.


Give it at least half a day before you get back to him. (Unless you’re on thin ice with him and things are critical, then respond sooner)

Because he needs to realize you’re not at his beck and call. Let him feel that you have other things going on, that you have a life and interests of your own.

6. Text Him Again With A Clear Intention

Now, if a couple of days have passed, and you haven’t heard from him at all, then you can try texting him again.

Don’t type something in a rush, hit ‘send’ and hope or even regret it a moment later!

Take your time to figure out exactly what you want to achieve, have a clear intention in mind to help steer your message in the right direction. Examples might be:

  • Find out where he’s at
  • Make him want you
  • Go on another date

7. Ask Him A Question He’ll Want To Answer

With your intention in mind, ask him a question you know he’ll enjoy answering.

For example, you can follow up on that event he mentioned or ask him how his stressful job is going.

Think of a question that you know he is likely to want to answer because he doesn’t mind it, or better yet WANTS to answer!

The key here is to NOT ask any questions that are about yourself and what you want. Make sure they’re about him (at least initially). This will give you the best chances of him texting you back.

…Which can lead to small talk, further questions, a friendly exchange and finally another date.

What If He Doesn’t Text Back At All?

If he doesn’t text back at all despite your best efforts, then he’s unfortunately not interested or was a player to begin with.

Either way, it’s out of your control at this point.

Some of you still might not want to let go, and you can try again in another 2 weeks, but chances are very slim that he’ll text you back at this point.

I know it’s easier said than done, but I’d recommend you try dating other men for now and if you do hear back from him eventually, you can always give it another shot.

The reason I don’t recommend endlessly chasing without at least seeing other guys is that it won’t do your self-worth any good.

Now, I know this is not everyone, but if you struggle with this, you might find it helpful to read my other post: 10 Ways to Stop Obsessing Over Someone.

And if you’re clear that you still can’t let go yet, you might be interested in checking out: Do Guys Notice When You Stop Texting Them? Yes, They Do!

Thank you for reading, regardless of your conclusion, I hope you at least found some of the answers you were looking for.

And if you have any questions about a guy not texting you back, please leave them in the comments section and I’ll get back to you!



How To Make Him Miss You – 13 Definite Do’s & Don’ts

How To Make Him Miss You – 13 Definite Do’s & Don’ts

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

So you want to know how to make him miss you badly? And you want to do so, in the most potent way possible?

Well, whether it’s someone you’re dating, are in a relationship with, or even if it’s someone whom you recently broke up with. I’m here to help you make him miss you desperately!

And we’ll do so, by equipping you with the most devilish of tools to make him come chasing you like a cheetah in heat!

Now, before you use this deadly arsenal, it’s vital for me to explain some underlying male psychology, otherwise these tools might land flat, or worse, BACKFIRE.

So, let’s start with clearing up a common misconception:

Rejecting Him Doesn’t Make Him Miss You

You may have noticed a lot of advice floating around on the internet suggesting tactics that lean towards dismissing him to get him to miss you, including:

  • No contact rule
  • Not answering his texts or calls
  • Hanging up on him
  • Friend-zoning him
  • Making him jealous
  • And many more…

What all of these approaches have in common is that they are based on some form of rejection.

These strategies might make him CHASE you, but they WON’T make him MISS you.

Chasing you is a brief phase he will have before getting what he wants from you and then running off again, so you can endlessly repeat the cycle.

Whereas Missing you is his genuine desire to be with and connect with you, which is long-term focused.

And in this post, I’m going to show you how to make him miss you to create a sustainable relationship.

But if you’re interested in a quick result by making him chase you, then these 9 intoxicating texts will help you with that.

With that out of the way, let’s finally talk about…

How To Make Him Miss You

In order to get him to chase you, there are essential Do’s you’ll want to implement and definite Don’ts to keep a close eye on.

The combination of the do’s and don’ts is what really leads to a successful result of him missing you.

8 Essential Do’s To Get Him To Miss You

Let’s start with the things you should definitely be doing. Don’t overwhelm yourself with trying to do ALL of these. Rather, pick out a few that you feel you can do.

1. Do spend time apart

As the age-old adage goes, Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

So don’t be afraid to spend some time apart. Otherwise, how else will he discover that he misses you?

And to be clear, when I say ‘time apart’ I don’t mean a couple of hours. I mean days or even up to a week.

Let him realize you’re not indefinitely sticking around, so that he can feel a longing to see you and touch you again.

He’s wondering: “Where is she at?”

2. Do pursue your own passions

You know what makes spending time apart a WHOLE lot easier on you?

That’s right, pursuing your own passions.

I get that he might BE your passion, but if you want him to miss you, you’re gonna have to let him feel that he’s not the center of your universe.

Go on that trip you’ve talked about for years, take lessons for that instrument you’ve longed to learn, visit a studio where you can let loose with paints on a giant canvas.

Whatever your neglected passions are, breathe life into- and revive them!

He’s jealous: “Is she pursuing her passions more than she’s chasing me?”

3. Do Spend time with friends

When we’re crushing hard on someone, or are desperately in love, we can forget to spend time with the friends in our lives whose company we so thoroughly enjoyed before that special someone came along.

So, if this is you, then consider taking time to meet up and catch up. Even if it’s that friend who’s moved across the pond or the penpal from way back when who sometimes crosses your mind.

Moving other people into your focus will help nurture old connections and you’ll feel less alone. And in turn, it will help HIM notice that you’re around less and slowly make him miss you.

He’s surprised: “Since when does she prioritize her friends over me?”

4. Do something truly thoughtful for him…

Assuming you know each other long enough (about 4+ months), you can surprise him with a thoughtful gesture or gift.

What’s paramount here, is that it’s truly for him and not for an effect. Spend time to figure out what he’d truly appreciate and would hit home.

Ideally, it’s something that does not require you to actually meet in person.

This way he doesn’t think that you’re just trying to reel him in, but are genuinely wanting to make him happy. No strings attached.

This kind of gesture can make even the most stubborn emotionally unavailable man open up.

He’s moved, but suspicious: “What’s she planning…?”

5. …And don’t follow up

In today’s day and age of technology, the chances are slim that he didn’t receive or catch wind of your gesture/gift. So assume that he’s gotten it and is mulling over what it means, maybe he’s even suspicious.

This is why NOT following up can be even more powerful. Because you’re letting him know that you’re not doing it to invoke a reaction from him.

You’re doing it because you care about him. This will make him miss you like CRAZY.

He’s touched: “That was… incredibly thoughtful of her.”

6. Do continue demonstrating your value

If he happens to be the one initiating and reaching out to you, think of these moments as opportunities to remind him of what he values so much about you and ISN’T currently getting.

The qualities you bring to the table are what initially attracted him to you, so refreshing his memory about said qualities will make him miss you and want more.

And you can absolutely tease him here! Be playful and give him a little something, but leave him wanting more.

He’s fighting feelings: “I’m starting to miss her…”

7. Do Post yourself on social media

Another means of getting him to miss you is to show off yourself and your life on social media.

Combining this with what we’ve discussed above, will REALLY get him to notice your absence and want you around again. This means, posting yourself pursuing your passions and meeting with your friends.

He’ll long to be a part of all the good and exciting things going on in your life and won’t want to miss out anymore.

He’s experiencing FOMO: “I wish I was there with her.”

8. Do seduce him

It’s a game as old as time and will never lose its relevance; seduction is the name and bedding is the game.

If you feel like he’s receptive, don’t hesitate to flirt and seduce him. Remind him of all the good stuff he’s missing out on.

Be merciless, torture him, let him feel the pain of not having you in his life.

It goes without saying that you should do all of this in your own style and in whichever way you feel comfortable with!

Whether that’s endless teasing, sexting, sending provocative pictures or anything else you can imagine. You make the rules.

He’s clawing walls: “I must have her NOW!”

5 Definite Don’ts To Get Him To Miss You

Now, with the don’ts you’ll want to try to avoid ALL of them. I know it’s easier said than done, especially when this guy is totally crush worthy -or even more. But do your best to avoid these to increase your chances of getting him to miss you.

1. Don’t chase him

Being chased can be endearing and flattering for the first few days, but then it mostly becomes very off-putting for guys.

As difficult as it may be for you, not chasing him plays a part in how to get him to miss you.

Because how is he supposed to notice your absence if he never gets the chance?

So chasing him is a no-no.

2. Don’t over-text or over-call

A common way of chasing is of course over-texting and over-calling.

This often leads to him being hesitant or taking his sweet time to answer you.

Which in turn can fuel your need to over-text or call, which will then make him even less responsive or even ghost you.

It becomes a vicious cycle. And if you want him to miss you, then over-texting and over-calling are unfortunately not on the menu.

3. Don’t try to convince him of feelings

If you’ve found yourself speaking his feelings for him, you might be falling into the trap of trying to convince him of how you’d LIKE him to feel.

This is especially prone to happen, if he’s an avoidant.

Because he’ll make it so hard for you to get a read on him, that you will naturally want to try to fill in the blanks.

But the danger here is that his silence can lead to you speaking how you hope he feels, rather than how he ACTUALLY feels. Which in turn often leads to guys distancing themselves and definitely not missing you.

So avoiding this behavior is another important ‘don’t’, so that it doesn’t stand in the way of getting him to miss you.

4. Don’t persuade him to meet

I know it can be difficult to hold out when you really want to see him, especially if it’s been a while…

But if you’re intending on persuading him to meet you, know that this will certainly not help you reach your goal.

This is especially true if you’re trying to get an emotionally unavailable man to miss you.

Instead, follow the ‘Do’s’ we covered earlier to help you cope with the time apart. These will be far more effective at enticing him to think of you.

5. Don’t make him the center of your world

Although this is the last point, it not only bears a lot of importance, it also captures the essence of what I’m trying to convey in this post, and that is:

Enjoying your own life is how to make him miss you.

Because it is in living your life and pursuing your own interests that he is reminded of what initially attracted him to you in the first place!

And this will remind him of all of those delightful feelings he has towards you, and he’ll be willing to overlook the issues you might be having.

Just so that he can finally see you again.

The Bottom Line

If you follow the Dos & Don’ts we discussed here, you’ll find that he’ll miss you terribly and reach out to see you again.

But if he doesn’t respond and doesn’t miss you despite all of these efforts, maybe the problems you guys face need to be addressed first.

And if you’re really unlucky, it might just be the unfortunate case that he’s just not that into you.

If you’d like any help with getting him to respond again (especially if it’s been a long break since you’ve seen each other) then check out our Coaching Calls.

In a call, I’ll listen to your story, and we’ll figure out a personalized strategy for you to get through to him again.

This will include getting into the male psychology and me sharing the male perspective so that you feel clear and prepared on how exactly to get him back again.

Click here to check out Coaching Calls.

Thank you for reading, and let me know what you’ve tried to make him miss you in the comments section.

See you in the next post,


Is It Bad if He Goes a Day Without Talking to You? It Depends…

Is It Bad if He Goes a Day Without Talking to You? It Depends…

Photo by Mikhail Nilov

When a guy goes a day without talking to you, it’s easy to get at least a little unsettled. You might start worrying about things like:

Did he change his mind about me?

What is he up to?

Why doesn’t he miss me?

When is he going to reach out?

A man distancing himself this way might mean many things. In this blog post, I’ll help you understand what’s going on for him when he stops texting you or contacting you.

This way, you won’t have to second guess yourself and will be able to put your worries aside.

I’ll also give a few tips on what to do, to get him to reach out to you again. But before going into any pragmatics, let’s first discuss why men act this way.

What Does It Mean When He Goes A Day Without Texting You

There can be many reasons why a guy can go for a day or even longer without talking to you. Here are the most common four of them:

1. He Might Be Testing You

When a guy stops contacting you for a day, it might mean that he is simply checking if you’re going to be ok with it or not.

On one hand, he wants to feel free and do as he pleases, to not have to check in with you, every single day. (It’s typical for men to pull away this way. Especially in the early stages of a relationship.)

On the other hand, he might also want to see if you actually care when he disappears. Which brings me to my next point…

2. He Might Be Leaving Room for You to Make the Next Move

Some of our coaching clients had a guy chase them really hard. He would always initiate, arrange fancy dates, do everything he could to impress a girl, only to then go silent out of the blue!

When this happens (in this particular order: first chasing you followed by silence), then him not talking to you means he is giving you room to make the next move.

He might be tired of taking charge and putting himself out there. Maybe he worries that you don’t care about him as much as he cares about you. Or that you might think of him as desperate.

Yes, guys feel this way too!

When this is the case, then him not talking to you means that he is just waiting and seeing what you’ll do.

3. He Might Be Feeling Down

Another super common scenario is: a guy stops texting you when he is feeling down.

Perhaps he is stressed out with school or his job, he is depressed or might even be struggling with serious mental health issues.

He is not doing well, but doesn’t want you to see this side of him. He might be afraid of being judged or being perceived as unattractive.

So he goes silent in the hopes that you’ll leave him be and let him get out of this rut by himself.

This kind of pattern is typical when you’re loving someone with avoidant attachment.

4. He Might Not Have Room for You at the Moment

This is a bit of an extension of the previous point. When a guy feels stressed or down, he might not have much emotional space for other people.

He might be too overwhelmed or depressed to send you cute texts or even to respond to your memes or messages.

Especially when he feels like you’re just the next person who is only needing things from him.

You’d be surprised, how common of a scenario this actually is!

Going silent is a lot of a guys’ first reaction to stress. And when a guy stops giving a girl his attention, women often panic and become overbearing or needy without realizing that this is what’s going on.

Which then only leads to the guy becoming more distant. Which in turn only makes them overthink and panic more

So keep in mind, when a guy goes a day without talking to you, it might also mean that he has no room for where you’re at on that day.

Can You Go a Day Without Talking to Someone You Love

In the early stages of a relationship, it’s absolutely normal to go a day without talking to someone you love!

Your lives are likely pretty separate at that point, so both of you might just go through your day without explicitly needing to contact the other.

It’s perfectly ok for things to be this way.

What’s more, having some space actually helps you appreciate each other more and gives your partner room to miss you!

For some people, one day might not be enough. They might need more time and space for themselves before letting you in again.

Some guys can go on three days without talking to you. Others might even need a week and that’s ok too!

As long as you’re comfortable with the amount of space that he needs, you don’t need to worry about this.

What Does It Mean When a Guy Can Go Days Without Talking to You

Things will look differently if your partner can go on for DAYS without talking to you or texting you. Or when he keeps on ghosting you and coming back.

If the amount of space in your relationship makes you feel lonely, excessively anxious, or insecure, then it’s likely not healthy for you to let things continue going on this way.

There are three big things that him not talking to you for days might mean:

Maybe He’s Just Not That Into You

Someone who rarely makes an effort to see you or to talk to might just not care about you as much as you wish they did. It’s a sad truth to face, but consider that it will save you a lot of precious time and energy.

When a guy can go days without talking to you, it might mean that he’s just not very invested.

That he doesn’t care if things work out or not, and that you’re not his priority. There is no point chasing after someone who just isn’t that into you.

You deserve better!

Guys That Drop Off the Map Generally Are Hiding Something

You’re not going to like this one either. But again, I’ve seen women get deceived this way time and time again.

The truth always comes out eventually, though, and it generally hurts more, the later it happens, so I’m telling you this now to save you some pain.

When a guy can go days without talking to you, it is a red flag. It might mean that he might be hiding things from you.

A common excuse ghosters use when they come back is either stress at work or mental health struggles.

“I was just feeling really depressed, that’s why I couldn’t pick up my phone and text you back for two weeks” or “Work was just so stressful.”

But what our coaching clients ended up discovering, in the end, was that there was more to their partner’s silence than just their excuses.

For example, sure he was depressed, but he also went on a bender. He’s been struggling with an alcohol addiction for years, and this was just one of his episodes.

Prolonged periods of silence (longer than a week) are suspicious. So it’s important to take this into consideration.

He Might Also Be Too Emotionally Unavailable for Any Serious Commitment

The last big reason why a man might go days without talking to you have to do with his emotional availability. There are guys out there who consider themselves lone wolves and want it to stay this way.

Maybe they come out of their shell for a few days, a week or a month, only to withdraw again. They’re used to their loneliness and consider it to be freedom.

So much so, they might not even miss you, and that’s why they can stay silent for so long.

You don’t need to keep on chasing after someone who is unavailable.

You’ll be significantly better off finding a guy that is actually seeking to connect and build a happy relationship.

What To Do When He Is Not Talking To You?

First thing you want to do when a guy is not talking is to stop seeking fault with yourself. His silence has much more to do with him than it does with you.

So don’t go panicking, it will only make things worse.

Keep in mind, if he cares, he will reach out.

You can also try to indirectly get his attention by posting something sexy or something you know that he will like.

Take your time evaluating which reasons fit your case best and develop your strategy accordingly.

And if you need more help getting your partner to make more effort, we can support you with this in a coaching call.

Here, we’ll listen and help you figure out what’s really going on with him. We’ll then give you actionable tips on what to say, do, post or text him to capture his interest and get him to chase you more.

Click Here to Check Out Our Coaching Calls

And if you can’t take his silence anymore and are considering just reaching out, be sure to check out my other post: Should I Text Him First or Not? What Will Happen if You Don’t

Thank you for reading! In case you have any questions, leave them in the comments section, and I’ll get back to you!


Definite Signs You Are Unofficially Dating

Definite Signs You Are Unofficially Dating

Photo by Mike Jones

It’s the elephant in the room, isn’t it?

You’re spending time together and there’s clearly something going on between you two. But neither of you is openly stating anything…

So it’s understandably confusing and maybe even a little frustrating to not be clear on what your status is. After all, you can’t just endlessly be stuck in limbo, having to read between the lines and draw conclusions.

At some point you want to KNOW whether they feel the same way you do and if you’re dating or not!

This is where the signs you are unofficially dating will finally give you answers.

They will give you clarity on where you’re at with your love interest and help alleviate some of that uncertainty or anxiety you might be feeling.

Let’s start by defining:

What Does It Mean To Be Unofficially Dating?

To be unofficially dating means you are dating, but neither of you explicitly asked the other out on any date.

But the fact that you are CLEARLY more than friends remains unspoken.

So you will spend quality time together, enjoy a special mutual connection, without anyone officially acknowledging that you are obviously dating.

Unofficial dating usually lasts a few weeks before a conclusion is finally reached when someone makes a move.

But in some instances it can drag out for months!

It can take especially long if one or BOTH parties are terrified that the other may not reciprocate those feelings.

Maybe a little help with getting an avoidant to chase you?

So both beat around the bush until their friends coerce them to make it official or one of you plucks up the courage and finally grabs the other’s hand or kisses them!

12 Signs You Are Clearly Unofficially Dating

Here are the signs you want to look out for to find out whether you are unofficially dating or not.

The more of these signs fit for you, the more certain you can be.

I hope you find the answers you’re looking for here, and let’s get to it!

1. You Spend An Unusual Amount Of Time Together

Even after all your friends have left to go back home, the two of you decide you should still hit the books at the library or check out that quaint bistro on the street corner.

You’ll just find yourselves hanging out together, often until late at night. It might be to work together in silence or talk about everything under the sun.

It may be in the company of friends or colleagues, but you two seem to have your own private language and live in a bubble of your own.

This will also usually happen very organically without any planning required. You just regularly find yourselves spending a lot of quality time together.

If this fits for you, count it as a sign that you’re unofficially dating.

2. You Often Hang Out Alone

Speaking of spending an unusual amount of time together. If you happen to always do that alone, as in just the two of you…

Then count it as another indicator that there’s more going on between you two than either is willing to admit yet.

This is especially true if the time you are together isn’t strictly out of necessity, say due to school or work.

But rather, that you’re both unofficially choosing to spend time alone together.

3. You Have Beautifully Awkward Moments

Your hands accidentally brush against each other and you both say “Sorry” in unison, then you awkwardly chuckle together, only to look away, blushing.

Then either of you changes to a topic, conveniently devoid of the hot chemistry that just transpired.

It’s cute, it’s cheesy as hell and would make any Hallmark movie proud. And yes, it’s a certain sign you’re informally dating.

4. You Have Meaningful Conversations

Do you both lose track of time while being engrossed in deep, meaningful conversations together?

It’s like you’re in a private and safe world in which you can talk about anything safely. It can be about love, family, spirituality, ethics, pop-culture, you name it! No topic is off the table.

But regardless of how grand and important these conversations might seem…

What’s actually making them feel special and irresistibly captivating is your growing, unspoken bond.

Sounds a lot like an incredible first date to me.

5. You Text Each Other Daily

You both went to your separate homes for the evening, but still can’t get enough of each other?

Fear not, technology is here to enable your addiction, which leaves you both still talking, glued to your phones until the dead of night.

The next morning you continue the thought train, and if that’s run out of steam, one of you has likely found something else to talk about already!

Can you relate to the vibe? If you’re keeping in touch on a daily basis, you’re definitely unofficially dating.

It might even be time to dial it up with some flirty text to make them think about you all day.

6. You Grocery Shop And Cook Together

It might start out as a conversation about your favorite dishes or a challenge on who’s the best baker.

But before you know it, you’re both harmoniously shopping for groceries like the perfect unofficial couple you are.

Then it was off to yours or their place, and you played ‘home’ and ‘cooking’ together. Did you feed each other to taste if there were enough spices?

Yah, I bet you did, you cheeky thing you. What’s next? Flirty conversation starters to heat things up?

And if you haven’t shared in this delightful experience yet, maybe you guys just haven’t collected this sign yet.

7. You Hang Out At Each Others Places

It will likely feel very organic to the both of you, like friends who just hang out at whoever’s got the closest or best crib.

Except that it’s often JUST the two of you… *wink wink*

You might even have left small stuff at each other’s places, like contact lenses, toothbrushes, or an item from your bag you conveniently “misplaced”.

So hanging out at each other’s places is another common sign to look out for. And if you’re staying over, count double signs.

8. You Support Each Other Emotionally

If something is weighing on either of you, and you need to get it off your chest, then you’ll support the other emotionally.

Whether it be about school, work, or family, there will be room to talk about your current life struggles and what’s on your minds.

This kind of mutual emotional support is another sign that you’re likely unofficially dating.

9. You Never Talk About ‘What You Are’

This is the big taboo topic, under no circumstances do you ever define what your relationship is.

It’s too scary!

Because what if you were to break what’s so imperfectly perfect? You’d both rather have each other in your lives platonically, then not at all.

So the risk isn’t taken, and it remains a no-go topic. This is a sign because any normal friendship would just openly call it such without hesitation.

(The only exception to this, is if one of you finally decides that they want to make a move and find out what’s what.)

10. You Get Physical Without Kissing

Have you playfully wrestled in the meadows? Perhaps laid close to each other with just your feet occasionally touching?

Or maybe when you hug, it lingers just that liiittle bit longer than it would with anybody else.

If you’ve experienced any of these or similar instances with your “We are not dating” partner, then it’s a clear sign that you ARE in fact unofficially dating.

11. You’re Comfortable Being Vulnerable With Each Other

Even though you’re not officially dating, there will be a lot of vulnerability shared.

Hopes, fears, doubts, and struggles. You’ll both talk about the difficulties in your lives candidly…

Of course, so long as it’s NOT about each other, that is.

12. Friends Tell You Both To ‘Make It Official Already!’

People around you are getting impatient!

  • “Just kiss them!”
  • “Make a move!”
  • “Tell them how you feel!”
  • “You both CLEARLY like each other!”
  • “Make the dating status official already!”

It’s getting boring for them. They’ve accompanied you through the entire journey, with all the highs and lows. They were involved, excited, sad and happy with you…

But now they want their pay-off, they want the happy end, to maybe even see if you’re soulmates and are not shy about expressing it.

And should it go as they hoped, they’re bound to lecture you on ‘How difficult you two were’ and how it ‘took you forever!’

Count impatient friends as a final sign.

So, those were the 12 signs you are unofficially dating!

How many of them fit for you? And are you clear on where you stand with your special someone now? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section.

You’ll likely also find this post interesting: How Long Should the Talking Stage Last Before Dating

Thank you for reading, and I’ll see you in my next post.



9 Intoxicating Texts To Get Him To Chase You

9 Intoxicating Texts To Get Him To Chase You

Photo by Lurii Laimin

If you were cupid, then your phone is your bow and your texts are your arrows.

And if you want the right texts to get him to chase you, you’ll have to make every shot count.

That’s why I’ve got you covered with the 9 most intoxicating texts you need to send him so that he comes running after you like a lovesick puppy!

Now, it goes without saying (but just to be sure, let’s say it anyway) that in most cases, you should not open a conversation with any of these texts!

You need to warm him up with some small talk FIRST!

Take some time to get him in the right mood. Ask him how his day is going, how that thing of his went, etc. And then when the time feels right, you send him one of the…

9 Texts To Get Him To Chase You

We must also remember to only send ONE of these texts at a time.

For it is entirely likely he will come chasing you down like a rabies ridden rabbit. So use them sparsely!

Don’t spray and pray that one lands. Make your text count! Even if you believe he likes you, but is hiding it.

You’ll also notice that below every text, I’ve highlighted the strategy [in brackets] that we’re applying with the text in question.

Enough talk, let’s crush this, cupid!

1.You’re the only man in the world, who truly understands what a woman needs…

[Strategy: Appeal To Ego]

Let us start with the time honored-tradition of appealing to a man’s ego to get your way. That is, to get into his good graces so that he chases you.

Yes, it is true. Us, men, deeply enjoy and find it hard to resist hearing endless praise about our splendor.

So use this weakness and tell him that ONLY HE truly understands a woman’s qualms and needs.

Let him feel special and like no other man. This will make him think fondly of you, because you’re seeing him and his value. Additionally, it’ll make him want to show you just how ‘great’ he is, all over again.

Which leads to flirty texts, which leads to chasing, which leads to meeting, and so on…

2. I’ve got some irritating guys hitting on me, what should I do?

[Strategy: Damsel In Distress]

Do you require saving? Probably not.

But do you want to let him think you require saving? Hell YES!

Men love to feel needed and “save” you! I recommend shamelessly using that to your advantage to get him to chase you. And, if you’re not dating yet, to finally ask you out!

By telling him you have unwanted attention from some strange men, you’ll invoke his urge to give you unsolicited advice. Or better yet, he’ll want to come chase them away for you.

Possessive much?

3. I don’t believe in a job half-done. Don’t you think we should finish what we started the other day…?

[Strategy: Shameless Flirty Enticement]

Whatever it was you started but did not finish, it can’t be left to stand as such.

Whether it was a conversation, a kiss, or more. You let him know that it’s not like you to have unfinished business.

After all, it’s hardly polite.

So send him this flirty ambiguous text and when he bites, drive him crazy by telling him if he wants to know what the nature of the unfinished business is, he’ll have to come chase you to FIND OUT…!

4. I’m a terrible kisser, I wish *someone* would teach me…

[Strategy: Drive Him Wild]

Is it true? Unlikely. But the truth won’t matter to him.

What matters is that this hot flirt will have him chasing you across the country to give you an all-important private lesson.

And if you’re really ‘bad’ at it, it might require him to chase you for longer to remedy the situation.

Any man worth his salt will not idly stand by when a woman is in dire need of… uhm, -well, help, of course!

Assuming you enjoy toying with each other this way, you might also want to send some flirty texts to make him think about you all. Day. Long.

5. My friends are dragging me out to go clubbing, if only I had someone to escort me…

[Strategy: FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)]

Not only are you letting him know that you’re going out. You’re helping him worry that if he doesn’t escort you, you might meet other men.

And any man in his right mind is a jealous man, he might even be giving you signs he doesn’t want anyone else to have you. So with this text, he’ll run at the opportunity to ensure he’s the only one chaperoning you tonight!

You can of course substitute ‘clubbing’ with any other social event, at which you would have ample opportunity to bump into other attractive candidates, who he should be worried about.

Text, whatever helps him feel jealous enough to chase you.

“But that’s manipulative” you might say. Not when he’s enjoying it, it’s not.

6. If I gave you free rein with me for one night, what would you do…?

[Strategy: Test His Resolve]

I’m sure he’ll barely be able to keep himself together after you send him this text!

It’ll start an endless string of fantasies in his mind about all the things he’d like to do to you (with your consent, of course) and he won’t even know where to start.

Don’t be surprised if he sends you endless typos due to his fingers shaking with excitement and what not. Or he might take a moment to calm down and formulate a response, so don’t panic if he doesn’t respond right away.

But let’s hope he can control himself and answer in a tempered manner. That’s at least until he’s earned his keep, and you’ll allow him ‘free rein’.

7. There’s a secret I need to tell you, but it’ll have to wait until we see each other

[Strategy: Send Him Spiraling]

He will chase you like crazy:

  • “What secret!?!?”
  • “Tell me now!”
  • “I can’t wait so long!”

If you’re feeling generous, this would be a good time to add “It’s something good! It’s just better said in person!” to release the poor man from his misery.

After all, if he’s responding this excitedly, it’s clear that he’s already falling for you.

Now, you’ll have to be sure you can deliver on the hype when you meet. Make it count with a kind gesture or important news that’ll make him feel happy and want to chase you even more.

8. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the baddest of them all…? Oh right, you are.

[Strategy: Make Him Want You. Bad.]

Nobody’s an angel, and texting him this will let him know you can play naughty too.

The question is, who’s naughtier? And this is something he will want to get to the bottom of.

You can try this one in person too, if you dare, and watch the blood drain from his face because you’re commanding it elsewhere.

9. Are you french, because Eiffel for you

[Strategy: Cheesy Pickup Line]

Is he still fighting his feelings for you? Time to switch gears then!

No chasing is complete without throwing in a good old pickup line at some point.

Are they cheesy? Absolutely. Do they work? Actually, yes, when delivered correctly. So if you’re feeling humorous and want to joke around a little, don’t hesitate.

You can show him that you know how to let your hair down and have a bit of silly fun with a pickup line.

Besides, men like being flirted with too!

There, my work is done here. Now you are equipped with 9 deadly arrows to get him to chase you. Remember to use them wisely and have fun with him, he’ll like that!

What Texts Do Guys Like To Receive?

Since some of you asked, here’s a quick answer. Guys like to receive texts that make them feel good.

So you can send all sorts of texts that will make him laugh, smile, and feel good about himself:

  • Funny texts
  • Compliment texts (make sure they’re genuine!)
  • Latest news
  • Interesting read (bonus points if it’s a topic he’s interested in)
  • Flirty texts
  • Sexy texts

As you can see, there are many options to choose from. So depending on your mood and his, you can think of a text to send that’s fun for the two of you.

Thank you for reading, that concludes today’s post on texts to get him to chase you until the ends of the earth.

And if you really want to take it to the next level with him, try some of the 50 Flirty Conversation Starters to Heat Things Up.

I hope you guys have fun! Let me know how it goes and share your stories with me in the comments!

See you in my next post,