Photo by Melissa Mjoen

How do you tell if a guy is slowly falling for you?

Dating can be extremely confusing at times. Men are rarely transparent about their feelings.

What’s more, they can do and say really sweet things only to then back out of it and pull away!

This inevitably leaves you wondering “Is he really catching feelings for me or am I just imagining it?”

In this blog post, I will list all the most important signs that he is slowly falling for you in chronological order.

I’ll start off with how to recognize when he is starting to develop feelings, all the way to how to know when he is falling deeply in love with you.

This way, you can know for sure where his heart is truly at in all stages of dating and a relationship.

1. He Initiates Contact

One of the earliest signs that a guy is catching feelings for you is when he initiates contact with you on a regular basis.

This means that he writes to you first, at least as much as you do.

He might do it over text, dms, snap chat or by calling you. The platform doesn’t matter here, it’s all about him regularly taking the initiative and making the first move.

A guy who initiates contact with you clearly enjoys interacting with you and will most likely want to take things further soon, because he is catching feelings for you.

2. He Asks You Personal Questions

A guy who is slowly falling for you will make an effort to get to know you better.

He will ask you personal questions about your passions, hobbies, plans for the future, likes, dislikes etc.

And he’ll do it because he longs to understand you and feel closer to you.

He will also want to make sure you guys are a good match and could be happy together.

It’s a definite sign he is catching feelings that you can look out for even in the early dating stages.

3. He Arranges to See you

On top of initiating contact and making an effort to get to know you, another early sign that he is slowly falling for you is him arranging to see you.

He might do it by asking you out or by finding reasons for you guys to hang out together.

And if you’re in a long distance relationship, he will either come visit you, suggest that you visit each other in turns or plan for you guys to meet halfway.

If he keeps on arranging to spend time with you, he clearly deeply enjoys it and is definitely catching feelings for you.

4. He Tries to Impress You

Men like to impress everybody around them. However, when a guy is trying EXTRA HARD to make an impression on you, consider it one of these weird things guys do when they’re catching feelings for someone.

He might do it by showing off his knowledge, his gadgets, taking you out to a fancy place, getting expensive tickets etc.

Think about it, someone who is trying this hard to make you consider him a good catch is definitely slowly falling for you!

5. He Is Eager to Help You Out

Men like to feel needed and like they’re good providers. Some guys will express their feelings for you through being helpful with pragmatics.

They will offer to carry things for you, fix your computer or other things at your house, help you study, pick a phone for you, take care of your car etc.

(This is particularly true when you’re dating someone with avoidant attachment. They have a much easier time communicating things with actions rather than words.)

When a guy you’re seeing is very eager to help you out in whichever way he can, consider it a definite sign he is catching feelings for you and is trying to make sure that you fall for him too.

6. He Texts You Every Day, or Every Other Day

A guy who texts you every day, or every other day, is definitely slowly falling for you.

Maybe he likes to make sure that you keep on waking up to a good morning text from him, he is sharing funny memes with you, or he simply inquires how your day is going.

Someone who gives you this much attention is clearly thinking of you a lot.

It’s a sign that he is catching feelings for you and can’t have enough of you.

7. He Is Happy to Find Out When You Have Something in Common

This is a subtle, easy to miss sign.

Did the guy you’re seeing get excited when he discovered that you two have something in common?

For example: that you like the same band, share a hobby, have the same views on a topic etc.

Maybe it puzzled you and made you wonder: “Why would this little things make him so happy?”

He is excited about having something in common with you because it makes you two a good match.

It’s a sign he is invested and wants things to work out between the two of you.

Because he is definitely falling for you harder and harder.

8. He Plans Elaborate Dates

When a guy makes a lot of effort to really sweep you off your feet, it’s a definite sign he is trying really hard to get you to fall in love with him.

He’ll plan elaborate or creative dates with a long itinerary of things to do and places to visit.

Like going to a museum, concert, or theater followed by dinner at a special restaurant and drinks.

Know that it actually takes a lot of research and hours to make that kind of plan, get the tickets and make all the necessary reservations.

Someone who puts this much effort to make sure you have a good time, is definitely catching deep feelings and falling for you.

9. He Spends More and More Time with You

Another undeniable sign that he is slowly falling for you is when a guy keeps on arranging to spend more and more time with you.

You might start off by seeing each other for a date, but that date might turn into a conversation that lasts hours. And afterwards, he still might want to see you on the next day!

Someone, who is wanting to spend increasingly more and more time with you, is doing it because he simply cannot have enough of you.

He is most certainly catching stronger and stronger feelings for you.

10. He Is Affectionate

When a guy you’re with enjoys affection, snuggling, kissing, massaging, etc., it’s because he likes feeling close to you.

He pulls you close and holds your hand. He tucks your hair behind your ear before kissing you and enjoys receiving affection from you too.

It’s a definite sign that he’s emotionally invested, that he is slowly falling for you and craving more and more closeness.

11. He Wants You to Stay Over

A guy who wants you to stay over after being intimate clearly has a hard time parting with you.

Yes, men can have sex without developing feelings, but when he is insisting that you stay over afterwards, that’s a sign it’s been more to him than just that.

He clearly enjoyed the closeness of intimacy and doesn’t want it to end. So he’ll try to convince you to stay as long as you can.

A guy who does this is most certainly catching feelings and falling for you.

12. He Has a Hard Time Letting You Go, in General

Have you guys ever tried saying goodbye after a date, only to have it turn into another conversation? Or him pulling you close and starting to passionately kiss you?

Maybe he suddenly remembered a good excuse as to why you shouldn’t part ways just yet.

Like that he needs something from you or has something he wants to give you.

And if you’re in a long distance relationship, it might feel like he is intentionally stalling, almost wanting one of you to miss your flight or train.

When a guy has a hard time letting go of you, it’s a definite sign he is slowly falling for you and catching strong feelings.

13. He Lets You Wear and Keep His Clothes

Another common sign that a guy is slowly falling for you is when he lets you wear and keep his clothes.

Plenty of girls love wearing oversized hoodies, they’re just so comfy and warm. Or wearing your boyfriend’s t-shirts.

It’s almost as though you’re having him hug you all day or all night long.

When a guy lets you wear and even keep some of his clothes, it’s because he is enjoying being able to provide you with this kind of comfort.

He’s willing to share things with you because he trusts you. It creates a kind of bond between the two of you.

Maybe this is a bit of a weird one, but it’s a definite subtle sign that he is slowly falling for you and that things are getting serious.

14. He Makes Room for Your Things at His Place

Just like with letting you wear and keep his clothes, making room for you at his place is a sign of trust.

Even if it’s only one dedicated drawer or cupboard, he is actively creating space for you in his life. And that’s a big deal!

He is most definitely slowly falling in love with you, for him to be willing to take this step.

15. He Brings up Vulnerable Topics

Being vulnerable and opening up to someone also takes trust. Talking about your past, things that hurt you, your own fears and doubts can be risky.

After all, you have to be certain that the other person will not judge you or misuse this information.

(This is why it actually takes time to overcome trust issues in a new relationship).

When a guy actually opens up to you and is willing to discuss vulnerable topics, it’s a big deal.

He is letting you in emotionally because he is catching feelings! It’s a definite sign that he is falling in love with you.

16. He Talks about His Plans for the Future

When a guy you’re dating starts discussing his plans for the future with you, consider it an important event.

Even if he is not directly including you in them, or making his plans around you.

Regardless of what his plans are, him bringing up this topic in itself is proof that he is thinking about making things work with you in the long term.

Maybe he is checking how compatible you are. Or trying to find common ground, so that you can both have a life that you want and enjoy.

He clearly wants you to play a part in his future, this is why he is bringing it up.

Take it as a sign that he is slowly falling for you and that your relationship is becoming more and more serious.

17. He Is Considerate and Caring

Last but not least, another definite sign that a man is falling deeply for you is when he is considerate and caring towards you.

He might go out of his way to make sure that you’re comfortable and happy, by checking in with you, doing things for you, reassuring you, etc.

A man who does these kinds of things is a great catch!

Also, him doing it is a definite sign he is emotionally invested and is falling in love with you.

How Long Does It Take for a Guy to Fall For You?

How long it takes for a guy to catch feelings and for those feelings to then turn into something more mature and serious entirely depends on his character.

Some men are easy going and ready to connect, while others are more distrustful and will need a longer time to get there.

That being said, we are all not THAT different…

A guy can develop a crush on a girl the first time he sees her or interacts with her.

But in order to actually start catching feelings, he needs to get to know her first.

It’s reasonable to expect that within the first two or three months of you guys interacting on a semiregular basis, he will start slowly falling for you.

When it comes to falling in love, it’s an even longer journey.

Research has found that on average, it takes about three months of being together for a guy to say “I love you” to his partner.

However, if you’ve been talking with a guy for longer than two or three months, and he is just continuously friend zoning you, consider it a warning sign.

Talking stage cannot last forever. At this point he is likely just being polite or stringing you along…

When this is the case, there is no point waiting for him to catch feelings any longer, because it will likely never happen.

How Does a Man Act When He’s Falling in Love?

“We are all fools in love.”

This is a quote by Jane Austen from her most popular book: “Pride and Prejudice”. It’s a very keen and valid description of how men act when they’re falling for you.

Catching feelings for someone is exhilarating, but also scary and vulnerable.

This is why a man can act in most contradictory ways in the early stages of a relationship.

He can sweep you off your feet with the craziest of romantic gestures, only to ask for space a few days or a week later.

Or insist that you stay over and keep you at his place for a few days, only to suddenly become less communicative and more distant.

These kinds of inconsistencies are particularly common when he is fighting his feelings for you.

This is why you need to learn to keep your cool and read between the lines. Don’t expect him to know exactly what he wants and have everything figured out.

Men like to pretend that they know what they’re doing, and this is where a lot of confusion then comes from…

…because they can be just as scared, doubtful and insecure as us women are.

If you want to know for sure if he truly cares about you, check out: 9 Signs of True Love from a Man

And if you need help navigating your confusing love life, I can help you with that in a coaching call.

Here, I’ll listen to your story and help you identify why things might not be working out the way you want them to be.

I’ll also give you tips on how to come across as high value and confident, so that you can get the guy you like to fall in love and commit to you.

Click Here to Check Out Our Coaching Calls

Thank you for reading! If you have any questions about any of the signs, leave me a comment down below, and I’ll get back to you.


Karolina Bartnik