So there’s a special girl in your life, and you’re looking for signs she is developing feelings for you.
You want to know for sure so that you don’t stick your neck out too far!
This stage can be very exciting, yet unnerving because you’re not yet sure how she feels towards you and whether it’s the same as you feel for her…
But we can figure it out by looking for the telling signs that she is developing feelings for you.
Let’s get into it!
13 Signs She Is Developing Feelings For You
When it comes to these signs, it’s vital that you have AT LEAST 5 signs that match her behavior.
Because women can be nice and friendly to you for many reasons, which do NOT include romantic interest. Some might even go as far as pretending they love you to get what they want.
But if you have at least 5 of these signs matching -anything beyond is even better- then she’s undeniably catching feelings for you!
Additionally, you should count the first signs in this list as weakest evidence and the latter ones as strongest proof of her affection.
1. She smiles at you a lot
Do you ever wonder why she’s smiling so much? Like, what’s up with that? Is she just so happy all the time? Yeah, man, she’s happy to see YOU!
2. She plays with her hair
Whether it’s brushing her hands through her hair or tucking it behind her ear, these are signs that she’s feeling attracted to you. This is especially true if she’s making eye contact with you during your encounter.
3. She laughs at your (bad) jokes
Us men can be oblivious to just how much women accommodate our -sometimes questionable- sense of humor. But if she’s always laughing at your jokes and telling you “You’re so funny!” then consider it a potential sign she is developing feelings.
4. She’s genuinely nervous around you
Developing feelings can be vulnerable and scary for her. And being around you will make those emotions real, leading her to feeling nervous in your presence. She might stumble over her own words or freeze up when you ask her something. These behaviors are a decent indicator that she has feelings for you.
5. She interested in what you have to say
If she sticks around when you’re talking about what you think or feel about a topic you’re passionate about. Then she’s making an effort to get to know you and is actively demonstrating her interest in what you have to say. Count it as another sign! Additionally, the LONGER she listens and talks to you, the more this sign counts!
6. She quickly reacts to your posts
When you post something on social media, she’ll be quick to react to it and give you an encouraging heart, like or even a comment. This is because when she sees a notification with your name on it, she uses it as an opportunity to show you that she’s interested in you!
7. She deliberately bats her eyes at you
Is it just me, or is it starting to get hot in here!? When a girl’s batting her eyes at you, it’s a hot hot flirt from her! Women know that we have a thing about feeling in control and powerful. So when they like you, they can choose to dial up submissive vibes by fluttering their eyes at you. — Personally speaking, it drives me wild! Who’s really in control here??
8. She seeks your attention
She wants to be noticed! So she proactively seeks out your attention by finding “valid reasons” to talk to you! She will ask about the details on that upcoming social event you’re both attending, or might need your help with something.
Short anecdote to illustrate; I was terrible at math in school, and it was no secret. But during after hours in an almost empty classroom the girl that was arguably the best in class sits next to me and asks “I’m really struggling with this math problem, any idea on how to solve it…? *Heavily bats eyes at me* And I missed it! God, was I naive back then.
— Anyhow, to tie this back, if she’s finding excuses to get your attention (and spend time with you) consider it another sign she is developing feelings.
9. She compliments you
Is her flaunting herself at you not a clear enough sign? Well, she’ll add to it with compliments. Yup, just like guys do when they’re trying to charm a girl.
Whatever it is you say or do, she’ll be taken by it and will compliment you:
“Oh, you’re amazing at that!”
“Your outfit is socool.”
“How do you know so much about that?”
“I love how you do that thing.”
You get the idea… And don’t be surprised if she lays it on extra THICK, just so you get the hint.
10. You can feel a spark with her
Check in with yourself, when you talk to her, do you feel an unspoken spark or connection with her? Because that’s how it often is, BOTH SIDES can feel the connection. That’s what typically leads to blushing, awkwardness or breaking eye contact because the intensity is too much to bear. This is another sign that she’s developing feelings.
11. She repeatedly touches you
At this point she’s given you so many indicators, she’s probably thinking: “Are all the signs I’m giving him, that the runway is clear for takeoff, not clear enough?? Alright, let me get more… physical.” If you’re not catching on at this point, she might resort to repeatedly touching you (your hands, arms, shoulders) to give you a CLEAR SIGN that she’s developing feelings and is interested!
12. She inquires about your relationship status
There are many approaches she might take with this. Most notably, she’ll stalk you on social media or send some girls from her clique to do some reconnaissance for her. Mission: “Identify Relationship Status”
And this isn’t only about that, it’s also to uncover how YOU FEEL towards her.
Her friends will make you divulge information:
“Is your girlfriend coming too?”
“What is your type of girl, then?”
“Who’s the hottest girl in the room?”
Then they’ll report back to her. This is one of the most OBVIOUS signs she’s developing feelings for you!
13. She flirts with you
And if, despite her giving you all of the above signs, you’re still not biting. Then she might just combine it all into one big flirt-assault! She’ll show interest in you, bat her eyes, play with her hair, laugh at your jokes, touch you, compliment you. Basically the whole nine yards.
How Long Does It Take For A Girl To Develop Feelings For Someone?
In order to assess how long it’ll take for her to develop feelings in your particular case, it’s helpful to distinguish between Infatuation and Feelings.
How long it takes with Infatuation
Infatuation is when she has a crush on you, but doesn’t actually know you. This means she can rave about your cute haircut or amazing skills to her friends all night long. But she’s crushing on an IDEA of who you are, without actually knowing you.
So with infatuation, she can feel “love” towards you in an instant.
How long it takes with Feelings
Feelings on the other hand will take her longer to develop. Because she first has to get to actually KNOW you, not every intimate detail about you. But a roughly accurate picture of who you are, what you care about, and where you’re headed in life.
Then you can count it as her developing feelings for you.
And this will take a few weeks, sometimes months, and for some introverts even YEARS.
So if her feelings for you go beyond infatuation, she’ll likely have developed them over the course of a few weeks.
How Do You Tell If She Wants You To Make A Move?
If 5 or more of the signs above fit for you, then there’s a good chance she wants you to make a move.
And I’d say if 9 or more signs fit, she DEFINITELY wants you to make a move!
But if you’re worried about being rejected, you don’t have to jump into the deep end and ask her out.
Instead, mirror her efforts to also give her signs that you’re developing feelings!
This will encourage her to make more moves, which will encourage you to make more moves, and so it goes. Until you eventually end up on a date, holding hands or kissing.
Phew, finally the secret that you have feelings for each other will be unveiled and all that tension is released into wonderful excitement of what the future may hold.
Dating a man who doesn’t want anyone else to have you but won’t admit it, can be very confusing.
One day, you can be over the moon about something he said or did. Only to have him tear it all down, as though he didn’t care about you at all!
I have experienced this kind of emotional roller coaster myself. My then boyfriend and now husband used to be an avoidant who struggled with commitment issues.
Because of that, he would bombard me with mixed messages that were impossible to decipher at the time.
On one hand, it seemed like he was very much in love with me. But then he would pull away or say things like “You’re better off without me.”, which made me worry that he wasn’t really attached and would eventually leave.
A guy who doesn’t want anyone else to have you will give you just the right amount of encouragement to make sure that you continue chasing him.
But at the same time, he will remain doubtful and undecided as long as you let him!
In this blog post, I’ll help you recognize the signs that you might be stuck in this very situation. I’ll then give you tips on what to do to motivate him to finally make up his mind and openly commit.
1. He Makes an Effort to Impress You
One of the most obvious signs that a man doesn’t want anyone else to have you is when he keeps on trying to impress you over and over again.
He might do so by taking you out to fancy or expensive places. By cooking elaborate dishes, showing off his skills or strength etc. The possibilities are endless.
What makes this sign confusing is that he might be playing it cool while doing this.
Some guys will say that it’s nothing, they do it every time, or that it’s not a big deal.
But don’t let him fool you.
He is trying to impress you so that you view him as the best possible catch because deep down he is attached and this is his way of making sure he can dominate all potential competition.
2. He Comes Back After Pulling Away
It’s not uncommon for guys to distance themselves or ask for space when you’re dating them or even in a relationship.
There are many reasons why men pull away. But, regardless of why he might be acting this way, observing the patterns in his behavior alone, can tell you a lot about whether he is actually emotionally attached or not.
The biggest sign that a man doesn’t want anyone else to have you is when he consistently keeps on coming back after pulling away.
He is comfortable with distance, but only as long as he can be sure that he is in control of the situation.
In reality, he is emotionally attached and wants to keep you in his life.
So when he senses that the connection might be beginning to fade, he will come back to rekindle the flame between you and make sure that you remain hooked.
3. He Is Kind and Considerate
There is nothing more confusing than a guy doing something incredibly considerate and caring and then claiming that it’s no big deal, and he would do it for anyone.
This might include him taking care of you when you’re sick, getting you groceries, helping out at the house, being there for you emotionally, being supportive etc.
Make no mistake, it’s not that you’re not special to him…
He is playing things down because he is having a hard time admitting (even to himself) that he is slowly falling for you.
When a guy is considerate or caring towards you, it’s a definite sign that he doesn’t want anyone else to have you.
4. He Opens up to You
A guy who opens up to you and lets himself be vulnerable around you will inevitably end up getting attached.
Him opening up is a sign that he trusts you more now. Because of this, he most certainly doesn’t want anyone else to have you, even if he claims otherwise and keeps on stalling commitment.
This is particularly common when you’re dating an avoidant. They’re the type to open up emotionally but play distant and refuse to chase you, no matter what.
5. He Answers Fast
Another easy to spot sign that a guy genuinely cares about you and wants to keep you all to himself, is when he answers your texts almost right away.
What’s more, him doing it most likely means he has been waiting for you to reach out.
Quite a few of our female coaching clients struggle with initiating contact. So if you’ve never tested this, now might be the time to do it.
And a man who responds right away definitely has a crush on you and doesn’t want anyone else to have you!
6. He Initiates Contact at Least as Much as You Do
This is a similar point to my previous one. When a guy matches or exceeds your efforts at initiating contact, it’s a sign he is genuinely interested and enjoys interacting with you.
We are all territorial and jealous, no matter what we claim. It’s just human nature.
So, just based on his interest alone, you can be sure that he doesn’t want anyone else to have you.
7. He Wards off Any Serious Competition
A common confusing move some guys like to pull is being all nonchalant about commitment, but then acting territorial when other guys are around.
They might tag along with you to parties or ‘accidentally’ bump into you there.
Only to make things more confusing, they’ll then get chatty and become best buds with your other male friends.
When this happens, make no mistake. It’s not a coincidence.
A guy does this to scope out all the competition and communicate to them that you are taken.
It’s not just a sign, but pretty much proof that he doesn’t want anyone else to have you.
8. He Isn’t Seeing Other People
Another common confusing situation so many of our coaching clients end up in is when a guy refuses to be in a relationship with you, but he isn’t seeing anyone else.
10. He Says You’d Be Better off With Somebody Else
Last but not least, the most confusing of all the signs that a guy doesn’t want anyone else to have you is when he says that you’d be better off with somebody else.
Other variations of this are: “You’re better off without me.”, “You deserve better.” etc.
I know this might seem completely counterintuitive, but nobody EVER says something like this and actually means it.
He is just being emotional.
A guy who says something like this is so afraid of being abandoned, he is speaking his biggest fears out loud in the hopes that it’ll make them less painful or scary.
What he wants you to respond to this, is: “But I don’t want anyone else, I want YOU.”
He is basically indirectly asking you for reassurance that you care about him and won’t give up on him, even when he is struggling, being difficult or needs a relationship break.
I know for you, it might be heartbreaking to hear him say something like this, but you have to see through him and read between the lines.
Guys sabotage relationships too!
How to Get Him to Show You That He Actually Cares
In order to feel safe and secure in your relationship, you require much more than just signs that he doesn’t want anyone else to have you.
You likely need him to SHOW you that he cares, is emotionally attached and wants to be exclusive.
There are two things you can do to make this happen.
On one hand, you can call his bluff by distancing yourself a little, acting as detached as he does etc.
You pulling away this way will give him a reason to need commitment.
But you have to be careful with this approach. Pushing him away and distance doesn’t always work. It can sometimes even do more damage than good.
This is where the second strategy comes into play.
Another way to get a guy to show you that he is emotionally attached is to make room for him to express his fear and doubts.
Let him talk about why he is hesitant and what he is hesitant about.
If you’re struggling with getting a guy to openly commit to you, I can support you with that in a coaching call.
Here, I’d carefully listen and help you make sense of all the confusing signs he might be bombarding you with.
I’ll also help you decide which of the above-mentioned approaches fits your situation better and give you tips on how to implement it.
I hope you now know how to tell when a guy doesn’t want anyone else to have you. To find more tips on how to get a guy to show you that he cares, check out my husband’s post: 4 Steps to Make Him Worry About Losing You
Thank you for reading! If you’re unsure about any of the signs, leave me a comment, and I’ll get back to you.
Let’s go over the character traits of a sigma female so you can figure out whether you recognize yourself in them.
What Is a Sigma Personality?
A sigma female exhibits alpha qualities, but is more in tune with her emotions and will seek independence over leadership. You can think of a sigma female as an introverted alpha.
Here are the sigma female traits you might have:
1. She Is Self-Reliant
One of the KEY character traits of a sigma female is her self-reliance.
She has learned through a lot of hardship, that if she wants to achieve her life goals, she needs to make it happen herself.
So whether it’s about her career, her relationships or any other ambition, she is quick to take matters in her own hands.
If you are this type of female personality, you will have a little patience for beating around the bush and wasting time.
4. She Answers the Call to Adventure
Adventure is spelt in capital letters for a sigma, female. She doesn’t do boring.
When there is a call to adventure, she answers it, because the uncharted and yet-to-be-explored is far more exciting to her than the predictable routines of daily life.
When sigma females pick a partner, they will expect them to keep up with their adventurous spirit!
5. Loyalty Matters a Great Deal to Her
Sigma females are loyal to their friends and partners, and expect the same in return.
They set a high standard for themselves and value honest, caring and reliable people.
And if someone crosses her, they are bound to feel the consequences of their trespass.
6. She Doesn’t Focus on Trends, She Creates Them
One thing that sigma females don’t do particularly well is follow.
Rather than obsess over trends they seek to create and capitalize on them.
She understands that social norms and hierarchies are fleeting constructs which she tries to operate outside of.
7. Others Value Her Friendship
When it comes to her friends, she understands the worth and value of their relationship.
Because, although sigma females may not fall into the classic alpha characteristics of leadership, they do know how to create strong ties of friendship.
8. She Doesn’t Worry About What People Think of Her
A sigma female does not place much weight on people’s opinions of her.
But she listens to trusted people in her life to get their opinions and feedback, since she considers them to have genuine value.
And although she is capable of taking feedback on board, she also knows how to stop overthinking and gets back on her feet quickly.
9. She’s Willing to Take Risks
Another typical characteristic of a sigma female is that she understands that there are no rewards without taking some risks.
This is a character trait that often separates her from her peers who prefer walking the beaten path and placing their bets safely.
She blazes her own trail instead and is therefore often left working alone towards her goals.
Not by choice, put out of necessity.
10. Others Can Feel Intimidated by Her
Sigma females are sometimes so focused on their own lives and ambition that they don’t realize how intimidating they can be to others.
She’s not afraid of conflict or being disliked and places more value on people respecting her than liking her.
How Do I Know If I’m a Sigma Female?
If 8 or more of the 12 sigma personality traits listed above fit for you, then you’re a sigma female.
And to summarize the most important points again:
A sigma female is an independent, loyal, straight-shooter, who is often ambitiously driven and operates outside of the standard social hierarchy. She takes risks, can be intimidating and sets hard boundaries when she needs to.
Do you recognize yourself in this description? Or have others described you this way?
If yes, you’re a sigma female.
And if you’re wondering whether it’s good to be a sigma, the answer is there is no good or bad here. It’s a matter of preference.
There are multiple female personality types, some traits of which you’ll identify with and others not so much.
The real question is who do you WANT to be?
And based on that, you can chart your own course in life to become that wonderful version of yourself.
Do Sigmas Have Friends?
Sigmas absolutely have friends.
But sigmas are more introverted in the sense that they don’t care to participate in the power games and gossip that comes with social groups.
Therefore they might also prioritize the pursuit of their goals over their community. This can lead to periods of isolation as they move between social circles.
Due to their loyalty, they will however maintain the friendships that mean a lot to them.
What Are the Six Female Personalities?
These are the six female personalities in order of their theoretical social hierarchy:
Alpha ↔️ 2. Sigma
Beta
Delta
Gamma
Omega
The Sigma sits on the same level as the Alpha, except that a sigma chooses to operate outside of social hierarchy by their own choice.
What’s important to keep in mind is that these social hierarchies are concepts to help you better understand social constructs you live in.
They are not a hard science.
(The term ‘alpha’ found its way into mainstream culture, through the idea of an ‘alpha’ wolf. A term that has long been rejected by David Mech himself, who studies wolves and originally introduced the idea.)
Having said that, all female personality types have strengths and weaknesses, so although there is a perceived hierarchy, one is not better than the other.
They are simply different with their own unique characteristics.
With that said, here are short descriptions of the six female personalities:
1. Alpha – The Leader
An alpha female is someone who leads a group and emanates strong will and confidence.
When you’re an alpha, you are often intimidating to others by how direct you can be with your opinions and domineering nature.
You’ll likely also feel exhausted with the endless responsibilities and decisions you have to make for your ‘pack’.
2. Sigma – The Rogue Alpha
The difference between alpha and sigma female is that as a sigma you’ll have strong alpha qualities while being more in touch with your inner thoughts and feelings.
You choose independence over leadership and pursue your own goals relentlessly.
Some perceive the sigma as ranking higher than alphas because of their autonomy and freedom.
3. Beta – The Right-Hand Woman
A beta female is often the right-hand woman to their alpha, she is loyal and trusting.
If you identify with this type you’re likely to be more introverted and quiet, but will be vocal to back a person you believe in.
But when your kindness and loyalty are trifled with or put into question, the person doing so is guaranteed to regret it.
4. Delta – The Planner
A delta female tends to be shy and needs her time to warm up to people.
But once people have won your trust, you’ll form incredibly deep and strong relationships for the long-run.
You’ll also be incredibly kind and patient and will honestly speak your opinion.
Being well organized and planning ahead comes as easy as breathing to you.
5. Gamma – The All-Rounder
A gamma female is someone who excels in all aspects equally. But this is admittedly at the expense of not feeling like she truly masters one thing.
Nonetheless, as a gamma you’ll lead a very balanced life and pursue your goals with a solid planning framework.
You’ll likely be family-focused and engaged with your community.
6. Omega – The Scholar
An omega female personality is knowledgeable and educated.
If you identify with her, you’ll often find yourself buried neck deep in books or pouring over piles of data trying to decipher the patterns.
You’ll be very logical and thoughtful in your approach to life, always seeking to understand the underlying principles that govern things.
Thank you for reading, I hope you’ve found the answers you were looking for and now know whether you can identify with the sigma female personality or not.
Either way, I’m sure you’re an incredible person who brings a lot to the people in your life.
How do you tell if a guy is slowly falling for you?
Dating can be extremely confusing at times. Men are rarely transparent about their feelings.
What’s more, they can do and say really sweet things only to then back out of it and pull away!
This inevitably leaves you wondering “Is he really catching feelings for me or am I just imagining it?”
In this blog post, I will list all the most important signs that he is slowly falling for you in chronological order.
I’ll start off with how to recognize when he is starting to develop feelings, all the way to how to know when he is falling deeply in love with you.
This way, you can know for sure where his heart is truly at in all stages of dating and a relationship.
1. He Initiates Contact
One of the earliest signs that a guy is catching feelings for you is when he initiates contact with you on a regular basis.
This means that he writes to you first, at least as much as you do.
He might do it over text, dms, snap chat or by calling you. The platform doesn’t matter here, it’s all about him regularly taking the initiative and making the first move.
A guy who initiates contact with you clearly enjoys interacting with you and will most likely want to take things further soon, because he is catching feelings for you.
2. He Asks You Personal Questions
A guy who is slowly falling for you will make an effort to get to know you better.
He will ask you personal questions about your passions, hobbies, plans for the future, likes, dislikes etc.
And he’ll do it because he longs to understand you and feel closer to you.
He will also want to make sure you guys are a good match and could be happy together.
It’s a definite sign he is catching feelings that you can look out for even in the early dating stages.
3. He Arranges to See you
On top of initiating contact and making an effort to get to know you, another early sign that he is slowly falling for you is him arranging to see you.
He might do it by asking you out or by finding reasons for you guys to hang out together.
And if you’re in a long distance relationship, he will either come visit you, suggest that you visit each other in turns or plan for you guys to meet halfway.
If he keeps on arranging to spend time with you, he clearly deeply enjoys it and is definitely catching feelings for you.
4. He Tries to Impress You
Men like to impress everybody around them. However, when a guy is trying EXTRA HARD to make an impression on you, consider it one of these weird things guys do when they’re catching feelings for someone.
He might do it by showing off his knowledge, his gadgets, taking you out to a fancy place, getting expensive tickets etc.
Think about it, someone who is trying this hard to make you consider him a good catch is definitely slowly falling for you!
5. He Is Eager to Help You Out
Men like to feel needed and like they’re good providers. Some guys will express their feelings for you through being helpful with pragmatics.
They will offer to carry things for you, fix your computer or other things at your house, help you study, pick a phone for you, take care of your car etc.
(This is particularly true when you’re dating someone with avoidant attachment. They have a much easier time communicating things with actions rather than words.)
When a guy you’re seeing is very eager to help you out in whichever way he can, consider it a definite sign he is catching feelings for you and is trying to make sure that you fall for him too.
6. He Texts You Every Day, or Every Other Day
A guy who texts you every day, or every other day, is definitely slowly falling for you.
Maybe he likes to make sure that you keep on waking up to a good morning text from him, he is sharing funny memes with you, or he simply inquires how your day is going.
Someone who gives you this much attention is clearly thinking of you a lot.
It’s a sign that he is catching feelings for you and can’t have enough of you.
7. He Is Happy to Find Out When You Have Something in Common
This is a subtle, easy to miss sign.
Did the guy you’re seeing get excited when he discovered that you two have something in common?
For example: that you like the same band, share a hobby, have the same views on a topic etc.
Maybe it puzzled you and made you wonder: “Why would this little things make him so happy?”
He is excited about having something in common with you because it makes you two a good match.
It’s a sign he is invested and wants things to work out between the two of you.
Because he is definitely falling for you harder and harder.
8. He Plans Elaborate Dates
When a guy makes a lot of effort to really sweep you off your feet, it’s a definite sign he is trying really hard to get you to fall in love with him.
He’ll plan elaborate or creative dates with a long itinerary of things to do and places to visit.
Like going to a museum, concert, or theater followed by dinner at a special restaurant and drinks.
Know that it actually takes a lot of research and hours to make that kind of plan, get the tickets and make all the necessary reservations.
Someone who puts this much effort to make sure you have a good time, is definitely catching deep feelings and falling for you.
9. He Spends More and More Time with You
Another undeniable sign that he is slowly falling for you is when a guy keeps on arranging to spend more and more time with you.
You might start off by seeing each other for a date, but that date might turn into a conversation that lasts hours. And afterwards, he still might want to see you on the next day!
Someone, who is wanting to spend increasingly more and more time with you, is doing it because he simply cannot have enough of you.
He is most certainly catching stronger and stronger feelings for you.
10. He Is Affectionate
When a guy you’re with enjoys affection, snuggling, kissing, massaging, etc., it’s because he likes feeling close to you.
He pulls you close and holds your hand. He tucks your hair behind your ear before kissing you and enjoys receiving affection from you too.
It’s a definite sign that he’s emotionally invested, that he is slowly falling for you and craving more and more closeness.
11. He Wants You to Stay Over
A guy who wants you to stay over after being intimate clearly has a hard time parting with you.
He clearly enjoyed the closeness of intimacy and doesn’t want it to end. So he’ll try to convince you to stay as long as you can.
A guy who does this is most certainly catching feelings and falling for you.
12. He Has a Hard Time Letting You Go, in General
Have you guys ever tried saying goodbye after a date, only to have it turn into another conversation? Or him pulling you close and starting to passionately kiss you?
Maybe he suddenly remembered a good excuse as to why you shouldn’t part ways just yet.
Like that he needs something from you or has something he wants to give you.
And if you’re in a long distance relationship, it might feel like he is intentionally stalling, almost wanting one of you to miss your flight or train.
When a guy has a hard time letting go of you, it’s a definite sign he is slowly falling for you and catching strong feelings.
13. He Lets You Wear and Keep His Clothes
Another common sign that a guy is slowly falling for you is when he lets you wear and keep his clothes.
Plenty of girls love wearing oversized hoodies, they’re just so comfy and warm. Or wearing your boyfriend’s t-shirts.
It’s almost as though you’re having him hug you all day or all night long.
When a guy lets you wear and even keep some of his clothes, it’s because he is enjoying being able to provide you with this kind of comfort.
He’s willing to share things with you because he trusts you. It creates a kind of bond between the two of you.
Maybe this is a bit of a weird one, but it’s a definite subtle sign that he is slowly falling for you and that things are getting serious.
14. He Makes Room for Your Things at His Place
Just like with letting you wear and keep his clothes, making room for you at his place is a sign of trust.
Even if it’s only one dedicated drawer or cupboard, he is actively creating space for you in his life. And that’s a big deal!
He is most definitely slowly falling in love with you, for him to be willing to take this step.
15. He Brings up Vulnerable Topics
Being vulnerable and opening up to someone also takes trust. Talking about your past, things that hurt you, your own fears and doubts can be risky.
After all, you have to be certain that the other person will not judge you or misuse this information.
When a guy actually opens up to you and is willing to discuss vulnerable topics, it’s a big deal.
He is letting you in emotionally because he is catching feelings! It’s a definite sign that he is falling in love with you.
16. He Talks about His Plans for the Future
When a guy you’re dating starts discussing his plans for the future with you, consider it an important event.
Even if he is not directly including you in them, or making his plans around you.
Regardless of what his plans are, him bringing up this topic in itself is proof that he is thinking about making things work with you in the long term.
Maybe he is checking how compatible you are. Or trying to find common ground, so that you can both have a life that you want and enjoy.
He clearly wants you to play a part in his future, this is why he is bringing it up.
Take it as a sign that he is slowly falling for you and that your relationship is becoming more and more serious.
17. He Is Considerate and Caring
Last but not least, another definite sign that a man is falling deeply for you is when he is considerate and caring towards you.
He might go out of his way to make sure that you’re comfortable and happy, by checking in with you, doing things for you, reassuring you, etc.
A man who does these kinds of things is a great catch!
Also, him doing it is a definite sign he is emotionally invested and is falling in love with you.
How Long Does It Take for a Guy to Fall For You?
How long it takes for a guy to catch feelings and for those feelings to then turn into something more mature and serious entirely depends on his character.
Some men are easy going and ready to connect, while others are more distrustful and will need a longer time to get there.
That being said, we are all not THAT different…
A guy can develop a crush on a girl the first time he sees her or interacts with her.
But in order to actually start catching feelings, he needs to get to know her first.
It’s reasonable to expect that within the first two or three months of you guys interacting on a semiregular basis, he will start slowly falling for you.
When it comes to falling in love, it’s an even longer journey.
Research has found that on average, it takes about three months of being together for a guy to say “I love you” to his partner.
However, if you’ve been talking with a guy for longer than two or three months, and he is just continuously friend zoning you, consider it a warning sign.
When this is the case, there is no point waiting for him to catch feelings any longer, because it will likely never happen.
How Does a Man Act When He’s Falling in Love?
“We are all fools in love.”
This is a quote by Jane Austen from her most popular book: “Pride and Prejudice”. It’s a very keen and valid description of how men act when they’re falling for you.
Catching feelings for someone is exhilarating, but also scary and vulnerable.
This is why a man can act in most contradictory ways in the early stages of a relationship.
He can sweep you off your feet with the craziest of romantic gestures, only to ask for space a few days or a week later.
Or insist that you stay over and keep you at his place for a few days, only to suddenly become less communicative and more distant.
This is why you need to learn to keep your cool and read between the lines. Don’t expect him to know exactly what he wants and have everything figured out.
Men like to pretend that they know what they’re doing, and this is where a lot of confusion then comes from…
…because they can be just as scared, doubtful and insecure as us women are.
So you’re wondering what chemistry feels like for a man.
Whether you’re a woman who’s curious to know, or a guy who needs to understand his feelings for someone, I’ll help you get to the bottom of it.
And what better way to know what chemistry feels like for men, than hearing it FROM MEN themselves?
On the Subreddit AskMen (sources: 2,3,4) people were wondering the same as you were and asked the following questions about chemistry for men:
“What Does Chemistry Mean to You?”
And here’s what men answered:
1. You Feel Comfortable Being Vulnerable
“Chemistry is that feeling you get when you’re with your closest friend. You can be your true self, they can be their true self, and even in that vulnerable state, both parties are completely comfortable. If you can find a significant other that you connect with in that way, and they’re physically attractive, do whatever you can to hold on to them. Finding someone like that is rare.”
2. Chemistry Is a Dance
“Chemistry is about having a natural flow where the conversation just comes easily with someone. Chemistry is about connecting on a bunch of the little things and sharing the same quirks. Chemistry is a dance partner who can read your signals and either can follow your most complicated leads or can lead you to dance turns you didn’t even know existed.”
3. I Can Be Playful With Her
“I’ve met women where we’ll get along well, we each know where the other stands without having to explicitly say it, and the relationship just works. She can playfully give me crap and vice versa, but at the end of the day it’s all part of our flirting game. We enjoy getting a rise out of each other almost any way possible.”
4. Chemistry Is a Bond That Isn’t Easy to Break
“Chemistry with another person can come in a variety of ways. From sexual to romantic, chemistry occurs when two people just mesh well. They create a bond with each other that’s not easy to break. They work well with each other. You have good chemistry with someone when it takes very little effort to have a great night with each other and things just fall into place, almost as if they were meant to be.”
5. It Feels Like Comfort
“Have you ever had that warm feeling inside of you whenever you’re around your significant other? It feels like comfort. Or ever have that sensation where you hear a car pulling up, or someone climbing the stairs leading to your apartment, or hearing someone coming up to the door to your place, and you just know it’s your significant other? Yeah, that.”
The next question somebody asked was:
“How Do You Know When You and a Girl Have Chemistry?”
Some of the men’s answers were rather romantic:
6. You Feel Magnetically Drawn Together
“It feels like static electricity, the air is just alive and there is this tension that you can feel like magnetism drawing you to them.”
7. Conversation Flows Effortlessly
“I think it really depends on each person, but chemistry is one of those things that’s so hard to exactly define. It’s just a feeling you get where conversation flows continuously without effort, you have physical attraction towards each other, and communication on all levels seem to be on par.”
8. You Want to Hold Her Tight and Never Let Go
“Oh man, it’s so incredible. It’s like the two of us are one unit and whenever we’re not together we wish we were. Not in the “I should see here later.” sense, but in the “I want to hold her tight and never let go.” And the best part is that I know she feels the same way about me.”
9. Good Chemistry Is Not Just Sexual
“I found out I’m more attracted to their personality, and when that happens, I’m really attracted to them in other ways, especially in bed. Good chemistry is not just sexual, but it’s also when it’s easy to love them, and vice versa.”
“What Does Having ‘Chemistry’ With Someone Mean to You?”
Here’s what the guys had to say:
10. It’s When You Just Click
“I think it’s a combination of compatibility and attraction. When you’re naturally on the same page in both areas, and you just click. It’s such an intangible thing, though, it’s so hard to explain. It’s there, or it isn’t, and when it is, you just know.”
11. Chemistry Means Feeling Comfortable Around Someone
“It means I’m comfortable around them. It means my adrenaline rises around them. Conversation is easy, more importantly, I’m comfortable being in silence around them”
12. Being Able to Laugh Together
“Having the same sense of humor and enjoying the same types of conversations. My girlfriend and I have laughed at so many unfunny things together. My best friends and I always feel like we can have deep philosophical conversations that generally just aren’t sustained when attempted with other people.”
13. It’s More Than Sex
“Chemistry is when you wanna sleep with someone, and you also want to hang out with them when you’re not sleeping with them.”
14. Your Social Interactions Are Mutual
“It means the social interactions with that person are persistently mutual and intended; you are both provided the social interactions that are expected from each other. It is inherently recognizable from both people, as well as from others who know each person’s social cues well.”
15. They Show You Genuine Interest
“They say your name. They are nice to you. They speak with a friendly tone. They want to hear your opinion. If they see you in public, they will say hi and maybe spark up a conversation. They are never “busy” when you have something to talk to them about. They listen intently.”
The final question was:
“What Does It Feel Like to Have Undeniable Chemistry and Sexual Tension With Someone?”
And the men concluded with…
16. I Get Butterflies in My Stomach
“It does not happen that often, unfortunately. But when I meet someone with whom I immediately click, I get excited, like these butterfly in my stomach feeling (but it’s not necessarily love or sexual tension). This feeling emerges when our conversation gains a certain dynamic and feels enriching and exciting.”
17. You Will Never Forget Them
“I’ve experienced this ‘undeniable chemistry’ thing a few times. In one of said instances, I fell for her in a way that hasn’t been matched since – even with my marriage of 15yrs. With the others, it was either distance or age that got in the way .. but holy hell, these girls were amazing and will forever hold a special place in my cold-ass heart.”
And a final answer that brings it all to the point was:
“You know you have chemistry when you’re not questioning whether or not you have chemistry”
So you’ll definitely know it when you feel it. 😉
Now, there was a final additional question directly from you guys that I’d like to answer myself, which is…
What Causes Chemistry Between a Man and a Woman?
You can think of chemistry between a man and a woman as a reflection of compatibility.
Which means, the more compatible you are, the MORE INTENSE your chemistry will be.
And these are the most crucial areas of compatibility:
Physical Attraction
This is commonly the first area, since we SEE people first. It is also the most obvious one and means that the more physically attracted you are to each other, the more intense the chemistry.
Intellectual Attraction
This will be more important to some than others, but a lot of people love and appreciate an intellectual mind. Because they want to be with a person they can talk to for hours on whose company they can enjoy.
Emotional Attraction
You may have had the experience of initially finding someone incredibly attractive, but when they start to speak, their emotional immaturity becomes apparent, and it’s an instant turn-off for you. So emotional attraction also plays a big role in chemistry.
Complimentary Characters
As the old adage goes: opposites attract. Though it’s not a hard rule, it does help create tension and excitement! And complimentary characters mean that both woman and man will bring something to the table that the other deeply craves and is drawn to.
Shared Values & Desires
Finally, chemistry between two people can be made (or killed) depending on how compatible their values and desires are. This means having the same priorities and expectations from life, because if you don’t, it’s hard to work towards a common goal.
So what causes chemistry between a man and a woman is the degree of compatibility they share in the five areas mentioned above.
The more compatible, the brighter the flame of chemistry and attraction.
Whether you’re new or old here, I appreciate you reading and hope you found the answers from men about chemistry insightful.
If you have any further questions about chemistry in a relationship, you should check out our one-on-one coaching calls.
Here you can share your entire story, and we’ll go into the details to make sense of the chemistry you share with that special someone.
If you’re sitting around, thinking to yourself, “Should I call him or not?” chances are a guy you like intentionally left things open or vague between the two of you.
Maybe you’ve just started dating, and you’re tired of waiting. So you’re eager to make the first move, but you’re not sure if you should.
Or perhaps you and him have some history already, he might even be your ex, and you’re torn: on one hand, you don’t want to be the one who is always chasing him.
But at the same time, you also don’t want to wait forever or let it go without knowing for sure where he truly stands.
Regardless of how long you two have known each other and what the circumstances are exactly, there are times when you absolutely should call him first and others when it’s better for you to back off and wait.
In this post, I’ll help you recognize the best course of action for your particular case. But before going into these details, let’s first answer a few burning questions so many women have.
Should I Call Him or Text Him
I’m going to give you guys a few pointers here so that you can understand what the difference is between calling a man and texting him and when to do which.
Generally speaking, calling is more direct than texting.
It’s more of a power move. Because of this, it can be intimidating to some guys.
This is why a lot of people text first and only start calling each other, later on in the dating phase.
But again, some men don’t have patience for beating around the bush and will appreciate you calling over texting, even early on.
It’s also easier to communicate complicated things via phone call than it is over text.
By talking to each other, you can explain things right away and avoid misunderstandings.
However, some people have an easier time expressing vulnerable things over text than on the phone.
Texting gives you time to think things through and carefully formulate what you’re trying to say.
Point being, there are really no hard rules when it comes to this.
It entirely depends on your preferences. If you’re someone who is more comfortable calling than texting, that’s perfectly ok.
The same way, if you’re more on the shy side, and you have a really hard time picking up your phone, you don’t need to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
You can also stick with just texting.
Taking your partner or crush into consideration can also be helpful to make up your mind. What do you think he would prefer?
Either way, it doesn’t matter so much how you reach him, what’s more important is knowing when to do it.
Should You Ever Call a Guy First
A lot of our female coaching clients struggle making the first move when it comes to dating. They worry it’ll make the guy perceive them as desperate or controlling.
This fear of theirs is not entirely wrong. Some men can get intimidated or defensive when they feel like they’re not in charge.
Others will really appreciate your effort, though!
We live in the 21st century now, it’s perfectly ok for the woman to make the move, when she feels like it.
So yes, you can or even should call him first.
There is really nothing wrong with you doing it! Many guys will feel flattered or relieved when you take the pressure off of them.
And if a man ends up judging you for it, then maybe he’s just too insecure and not a good match anyway.
This is the general rule when it comes to the early stages of dating. Things look a little bit different when you’ve been going out for a while.
Should I Call Him if I Miss Him
If you miss a guy you’re dating or even together with, then you most likely haven’t seen or heard from him in a while. Maybe it’s only been a few days, and you don’t know why he is silent all of a sudden.
Or perhaps it’s been a week or more, and he still hasn’t called you.
So you’re starting to seriously miss him and are wondering if you should just give him a ring and check in.
When two people are seeing each other, it’s important that the amount of effort both of them are putting into making things work is more or less equal.
As long as this is the case, the guy you’re dating has been initiating as much or even more than you, then you should absolutely call him if you miss him!
Guys need this kind of encouragement in order to stay interested and keep pursuing you.
However, if you’ve been the only one who is making this relationship work, then it’s a completely different situation.
Being stuck always initiating, likely makes you worry that, if you didn’t do it, you might never hear from this guy again. So in a way, you might feel like you have to call him or text him first, if you want to keep him in your life.
Or he needs a little push, to realize that he actually cares and wants to keep this going.
The only way you can find out where he truly stands is by waiting it out.
If you’re the only one who has been initiating so far, then you shouldn’t call him when you miss him.
You need to leave room for him to show you if he cares or not.
Should I Call Him After He Ghosted Me
Ghosting unfortunately is extremely common nowadays.
The problem with being treated this way, is that when a guy does it, he leaves you hanging. You never know what really happened and why he disappeared so suddenly.
This is why you shouldn’t call a guy after he ghosted you.
Even if he picks up, he isn’t going to give you any answers. You’ll only feel more rejected and confused afterwards.
He likely wasn’t transparent with you and was pretending to be someone he’s not. He might even be a player.
Either way, ghosters are not serious relationship material. He is just wasting your time, and you deserve better!
Should I Call Him After a Fight
Another common situation when you might be wondering: “Should I call him if he hasn’t called me?” is after you guys had a fight. Unfortunately, arguments are a part of any healthy relationship.
It’s normal for people to disagree and get emotional over things.
However, when dust settles, all that’s left is often a strong need for reconciliation and making things right.
If you’re coming from a place of trying to make peace with him, then you should absolutely call him after a fight.
You don’t need to wait, you can try to fix this now. There are things you can say to him after an argument that’ll help you diffuse his anger and get him to open up to you again.
But if you’re calling him only to try to make him see things your way, then it’s better you don’t do it.
It would only escalate the fight further. Give him and yourself space to cool off some more instead.
You can just call a friend and complain about him to them…
Should I Call Him After a Breakup
Breakups are rarely a definite end of a relationship. Feelings people have for each other, can’t just vanish because you decide so.
This is why couples break up but stay in touch and try to work things out.
If you want to call your ex after a breakup to clarify things, get an explanation or apologize for something you did, you should absolutely go for it!
Except, if your ex explicitly asked you for space.
When this is the case, you need to respect his boundaries and avoid contacting him for a while. (You can text him after no contact, to check in and see if he is ready to talk, though.)
Another reason why you shouldn’t call your ex after a breakup is to try to tell him how much you love him and convince him to change his mind.
You cannot convince someone to feel differently than they do, trying to do so will only break your heart further.
Regardless, if you’re dating, together or broken up, you should call him as often as he calls you. And if he doesn’t call but keeps on texting, that’s ok too.
As long as the amount of effort both of you are putting in is balanced, all is well, and you really don’t need to worry too much.
However, if you’ve been calling him, and he hasn’t been returning the gesture, it might be time to put your guard up a little.
Maybe you’ve become too attached too early on, so you have a hard time stopping yourself from chasing him and are letting him take you for granted.
If this is the case, you need to slow down and make room for him to show you if he cares or not.
It can be really hard to know for sure what’s going on when he isn’t calling you enough.
Some guys need you to make the effort and get them to come back to you.
Others prefer when you back off. That’s what makes them want you more.
If you’re needing more guidance on what to do in your particular case, I can help you out in a coaching call.
I’ll listen to your story and help you figure out how you need to approach him, to get him to call you more and make more effort in general.
I’ll help you overcome whatever stands in a way of you having the relationship you want and deserve!
We always believed that relationships should be FUN and uplifting! And we were obsessed with finding real-world practical solutions for our relationship problems. Today we help others do the same with our blog.
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