Photo by Huy Phan

Regardless of whether you are a guy or a girl, everybody is nervous before a first date. Especially if you have little experience with dating, or if you haven’t been on a “real date” in a long time.

Like with many other things in life, when it comes to dating, confidence is key.

These 5 First Date Tips will help you gain the necessary confidence to ensure that your upcoming date is a smashing success.

1. Choose Your Outfit To Emphasize Your Qualities & Feel Comfortable About Your Appearance

We all judge people based on their appearance. That’s why when preparing for a first date, my tip is to dress and groom yourself in a way that will emphasize the features you feel most confident about.

You can deduce a lot about a person’s character from their looks and first dates are all about impressing your potential partner.

People often perceive us the way we perceive ourselves. That’s why, if you consider yourself sexy and feel good in your own skin, your date will most likely feel attracted to you.

Consider your outfit as a means of boosting your confidence. Think about which items of clothing you feel prettiest in and pick those ones.

It doesn’t mean appearance is everything though. It should just serve as a means of boosting your confidence, not as a source of it.

You don’t need to spend hours, doing your hair, makeup and meticulously putting an outfit together. You don’t need to look perfect, you only need to feel good in your own skin.

My second date with Gabriel was in the middle of winter. It was insanely cold and we were going to the movies. I ended up wearing a huge thick sweater (it wasn’t sexy) because I always get freezing cold in movie theaters.

Despite my baggy outfit, it ended up being the most magical and exciting date I had ever been on, up until that point in my life. Seriously, it was so amazing, I kept on telling my friends all about it for months on end afterwards.

So remember to use clothes and make up as a way to build yourself up and express who you are, but don’t worry and obsess too much over it either.

If you would like to listen to some music to get you into the right mood, while getting ready for your date, do check our Romantic Love Songs Playlist

2. Don’t Stress About The Future, Try To Stay In The Moment

When it comes to dating, some people struggle with jumping way ahead into the future. You might find yourself thinking “Is he/she the one?”, “Will we get married and have cute babies together!?”

The first date is not a good time for these kinds of thoughts. You hardly know the person you’re spending time with, so there really is no point contemplating all these serious life decisions. It is far too early for that.

Dating is a very exciting stage to be in, in life. There are so many possibilities, so many people to meet. All your options are open and you are free to shape your own future.

Becoming too preoccupied with stressing about all these big far away events, might prevent you from actually having a good time and getting to know your date.

I know, it is sometimes difficult to let go and enjoy the moment, especially if you have a ton of fears and expectations looming over your head. When I was In my mid-20s all my friends were either getting married or were in committed relationships. This created a lot pressure. I used to feel like I was way behind schedule when it came to the whole dating thing.

However, now in my early 30s, I’m in a happy, committed relationship, whereas a lot of those friends are getting divorced or are facing some serious relationships problems.

Dating is not a race. There is no need to hurry and jump into commitments. True love will find you when you’re ready for it. So for now, just have fun.

If you’re feeling unsure about this and need more tips on how to get a man to truly fall for you, you might want to check out the 5 Traits In Women That Bring Men Emotionally Closer.

3. Be Curious And Get To Know Your Date

Dating is not just about charming and impressing a potential partner. It is also the most perfect time to get to know them, in order to evaluate, whether you are compatible or not.

Use your time to find out who your date is. What are their persuasions? What gets them out of bed in the morning? What do they live for?

Getting to know a person, is what allows for an emotional connection to happen. Where there is an emotional connection, there is bound to be chemistry.

So let your natural curiosity flow and try to understand the person you’re spending time with. It is bound to make your first date way more enjoyable and exciting.

Also, when we have a crush on a person, we tend to create a certain image of them in our heads. The first date is the perfect time to evaluate and correct that image.

Maybe your date is not who you thought he or she is. Maybe you are not attracted to him/her in person.

Or you’re lucky and the more you get to know them, the more interesting they become. What fun!

So let your curiosity guide you because reality is far more exciting than your imagination.

If you need some inspiration on questions to ask your partner, check out 30 Questions To Ask A Man To Get To Know Him.

4. Don’t Give More Attention Than You’re Getting

If you are really eager to make a date work, you might end up making all this effort and getting very little in return.

This happened to me a lot. I used to try to avoid being stuck sitting in awkward silence, so I’d always make an effort to make an interesting conversation happen.

I would end up asking questions and listening to people, with them only making minimal effort to get to know me.

The first date is the perfect testing ground, to find out what kind of person you are dealing with. But when you are busy talking and keeping the awkwardness at bay, you might end up missing all the important signs.

So if he or she puts their phone on the table, you put your phone on the table too. If he/she is continuously checking their phone, you check yours too, etc. Don’t overexert yourself and try to force their attention.

Don’t be afraid of the awkward silence and don’t worry if the date doesn’t work out. It takes two to tango and if he or she doesn’t wanna play their part, well that’s their bad. You’re not doing anything wrong, the chemistry simply isn’t there…

Which leads me to my last point.

5. If It’s “Meant To Be”, It Will Work Out

Chemistry is something you cannot make happen. If it’s there, then it’s there and if not, it’s not…

Sure there might be a couple of initial awkward hurdles you’ll both need to overcome, to see if there’s anything between the two of you. But if the plane isn’t taking off and you’re stuck on the runway, that’s okay.

You don’t need to be interested in everybody and vice versa.

You might have read or heard about little hacks you can do to create chemistry or interest. And although it’s perfectly normal, to want to be interesting and excite attention, there is a balance to be had.

Don’t fall into the trap of practicing moves, as they do in seduction communities. It feels like what it is, rehearsed and artificial.

This is something Gabriel commented on, later in our relationship. He said that even though I was initially extremely quiet and didn’t show much of myself, he could feel I was being genuine and that in and of itself was attractive to him.

I know it sounds cliche, but you need to let people see you for who you are and that is what is ultimately attractive to the right person. You.

There are people you’ll have more chemistry with and with others it’ll be as absent as with Lizzy and Mr. Collins.

Image result for lizzy and mr collins pride and prejudice gif

That’s just how it goes and that’s okay. Say ‘thank you’ for the date and move on to find your Mr. Darcy.

In case you’re looking for more advice on what it takes to find love and let it flourish, check our article on How To Build A Lasting Relationship.

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Also, what experiences have you had on your first date? Let me know in the comments section!


Karolina Bartnik