Are you wondering if you’ve just been deluding yourself all this time? Telling yourself that your partner has all these conflicting feelings, and is sending you secret hints, when in reality they’re just not that into you?
That you’re seeing things that simply aren’t there, only because you want them to be true?
I was once in your shoes. I, too, wondered: “Am I just imagining our special connection? Does Gabriel care?” After all, he kept on telling me that he didn’t or at least not as much as I did. He would say that he isn’t looking for anything serious, but then he’d make proactive efforts to see me all the time, and we’d have such a hard time saying goodbye…
By now I’ve coached thousands of people, some of them with the avoidant attachment style, others were dating avoidants.
I can tell you with 100% certainty that you’re not just imagining things. Your partner IS sending you subtle hints and is playing games with you. ALL avoidants do this!
Does this mean that you found your other half and are going to live happily ever after with this person?
Maybe, maybe not…
Here are the 5 signs that an avoidant is more emotionally involved with you than they’re showing:
1. They Keep on Reaching Out to You
When a woman or a man keeps on texting you, it’s because they want something from you. They enjoy your company, your sense of humor, or the emotional or pragmatic support you’re providing.
Avoidants love playing things down and saying they’re just being friendly. But if they keep on texting you first, you’re more than just a friend to them.
2. They’re Hot and Cold Towards You
If your avoidant partner fluctuates between being warm and caring, and cold and unavailable, that’s because they’re conflicted. They care about you, but they’re also afraid of their own feelings. Point being, they are more involved with you than they are willing to admit.
3. They Give You a Vague Sense of Hope
They might hint at wanting to be with you forever and then take it back. Like bring up marriage or even starting a family. But then back out of it the next minute and pretend like it meant nothing.
Avoidants do this because they are secretly thinking about these things but don’t dare to commit to them just yet.
4. They End Things but Keep an Open Door
An avoidant might break up with you but insist on staying friends, or endlessly hold onto your things, let you keep their things etc. They do this when they don’t actually want to break up but feel like they have to.
All the strings that are connecting you are there to make sure they don’t lose you. They don’t want to let go, because they care more than they’re showing.
5. They Open Up to You and Are Vulnerable With You
Has your partner shared things with you about themselves that are very personal or vulnerable? Maybe they opened up about their past, or about their biggest fears or insecurities? When someone does this, it’s a sign of deeper trust and strong emotional connection.
If your avoidant partner shared some very vulnerable moments with you and let their guard down, it means they also let you into deep into their heart.
Don’t let them fool you with their carelessness. They’re only playing it cool, but deep down, they care more than they’re showing.
The truth is, all avoidants care more than they are willing to admit, however avoidant attachment is a barrier they have to be willing to overcome, in order to be in a happy and stable relationship.
Facing your own demons and admitting that you might have issues, or that you might be wrong about something, is scary. Your partner might not be able to go there without your help. They also might need you to lead by example, work on your own attachment issues and inspire them to change.
If you’re looking for guidance on how to do this, we’ve got you covered! This is exactly what we teach in our Attach An Avoidant Program.
In here, we’ll show you how to read between the lines and use your partner’s actions to strengthen your own sense of security. So that you’re less fearful or anxious and more secure.
We also give you a step-by-step guide on how to make your relationship progress and get your avoidant partner to express their feelings more.
Click here to check out Attach and Avoidant
I hope this blog post clarified some things for you! If you’re looking for more tips on how to deal with an avoidant partner, you might also want to read this one: Loving Someone With Avoidant Attachment – How to Cope With It
Thank you for reading!
Karolina
- 5 Signs an Avoidant Is More Attached Than They’re Showing - 20. October, 2024
- Do Guys Come Back After They Dump You? Mostly Yes, They Do - 26. January, 2023
- 4 Big Reasons Your Ex Won’t Talk to You and What to Do - 17. January, 2023
