Taking a break in a relationship is almost always unsettling. That’s why most people’s instinct is to try to get it over and done with as soon as possible.
However, getting back in touch with your significant other TOO SOON might lead to problems and actually force you to take more or longer breaks from each other.
In the course of my over 9-year long relationship with my boyfriend, Gabriel, we’ve been through countless breaks. Some lasted only an hour, while others took up to a MONTH.
Spending time apart from each other was always very tough for me. I never really enjoyed giving Gabriel space but I was forced to do it on multiple occasions.
From my own personal experience, I’ve learned that the point of taking a break in a relationship is to resolve a problem that you’ve failed to deal with otherwise.
That’s why, how long a relationship break should last, very strongly depends on the kind of issue that you’re currently dealing with.
Three Most Common Reasons Why People Take Relationship Breaks
This is something I’ve learned from my own personal experience, as well as observed from countless other couples,
there are three main reasons why people in a relationship decide to take a break from each other:
- Break caused by an argument
- Break caused by external factors
- Break caused by serious relationship problems
A break caused by an argument is a situation where two people get into a fight.
This might happen in a form of a heated exchange, as well as a totally cold, reserved interaction followed by holding grudges or silent treatment.
Regardless of how the relationship fight looks like exactly, at the end of it, both sides fail to get through to each other, so they’re left with no other option than to just take a break to cool off and get some distance from it all.
A break caused by external factors is another really common situation when either one or both partners need space from each other.
Everybody struggles in life every now and then. It might be due to being overwhelmed at work, family problems, health or mental health, etc.
When going through a tough time, people often fear being judged or don’t want to be perceived as a burden, so they request space or suggest taking a relationship break.
A break caused by serious relationship problems is a situation where a lot of negative factors come together:
If a couple is constantly fighting, one or both sides feel unhappy and the relationship is just not working anymore, taking a break from each other is the last resort to try to restore peace and try to figure a way out.
How Long Should a Relationship Break Caused by an Argument Last
When it comes to dealing with a break caused by a relationship fight this is the easiest and also the shortest one!
The main purpose of taking this kind of time out is to give both of you room to cool off and let your emotions calm down so that you can both gain some distance from the fight and reevaluate the situation with a clearer head.
Whenever Gabriel and I get stuck in an argument it generally takes us anywhere from an hour up to a day to calm down enough so that we can start communicating again.
When it comes to relationship breaks caused by an argument, if the break is cut too soon, it’s bound to cause yet another argument…
On the other hand, if the break lasts too long it might turn into mutual silent treatment, which only tends to make matters worse…
Keep in mind, these rules aren’t set in stone.
Ultimately, the length of the break you and your partner need depends on your personalities and also on the magnitude of the fight.
How Long Should a Relationship Break Caused by External Factors Last
Relationship breaks caused by external factors are always more tricky to deal with, that’s why they tend to last longer.
These types of breaks can generally last between one day to up to a week.
Of course, how much time apart you need from each other, depends on what kind of problems you’re dealing with.
E.g.: When dealing with an overall bad mood one day can be enough to clear it out.
But when it comes to serious family emergencies, they might require your significant other to dedicate much more of their time and attention.
Gabriel and I went through multiple breaks due to all sorts of external factors.
At the beginning of our relationship, he would sometimes say he needs space out of the blue. Even though he never communicated it back then, I could sense that he was simply feeling down but wasn’t ready to show me that part of himself yet.
However, as we grew closer and built trust with each other, our breaks caused by the problems outside of our relationship became shorter and shorter.
The big thing about this kind of relationship break is that when a person is struggling with something, what they often really need is not space but SUPPORT.
The tricky part here is that you might not always be able or willing to give your significant other the support they crave.
Or that your partner might not be able or willing to ACCEPT the support you’re offering…
That’s why taking a break from each other is often a helpful compromise.
How Long Should a Relationship Break Caused by Serious Relationship Problems Last
Last but not least, let’s finally get to the longest and most difficult type of relationship breaks: the ones caused by serious relationship problems.
All couples have problems. It’s normal to have disagreements, feel misunderstood at times, or not always get what you want from your partner.
However, there might come a time in a relationship when NOTHING seems to be working anymore.
This happened to Gabriel and me.
We’ve reached a point where we could not see eye to eye on things, we fought all the time, and both felt misunderstood and alone.
It was as though we were continuously hitting an invisible wall that just kept on tearing us apart.
So we decided to take a break.
In fact, this happened THREE times.
Gabriel and I have been through THREE breaks caused by serious relationship problems (they were basically breakups just that we always decided to keep in touch with each other).
Even though it was Gabriel who initiated all three of our ‘breakups’, I have been the one who insisted on making them last longer.
I did it because I thought that by extending our time apart we’d be more likely to come to some groundbreaking conclusions that would magically fix our relationship.
Unfortunately, that’s just not how things work. Relationship problems don’t vanish by themselves…
All three of our relationship breaks lasted about a month and looking back at it, I consider all three of them to have been UNNECESSARILY LONG.
Too long of a break doesn’t contribute anything towards gaining any new perspective on things.
In reality, making a break last a very long time only makes it more likely for it to turn into an actual breakup.
That’s why I recommend that a relationship break caused by serious relationship problems should last from about one week up to about a month.
And if your guy happens to be the emotionally unavailable type, then watching out for these signs that he misses you, can help the break feel more bearable.
How to Make a Relationship Break Work
As I outlined in the beginning of this article, couples decide to take a break from each other when they face a relationship problem that they aren’t able to fix.
This might be something relatively small, like a fight. Something slightly bigger, like personal issues or struggles. Or it can be multiple serious relationship problems.
Generally speaking, the bigger the problem, the longer the relationship break needs to last.
However, it’s important to keep in mind that on their own, breaks actually DON’T FIX ANYTHING.
They can only provide emotional distance and a fresh perspective that can be crucial in solving relationship problems.
But in order to truly make a relationship break work, both you and your partner need to use what you’ve learned from the break and do the fixing the problem part yourselves.
This brings me back to my story.
You see, all three of our relationship breaks have been caused by THE SAME ONE relationship problem.
We didn’t manage to fix it the first time round.
That’s why we eventually ended up taking yet another long and painful break from each other.
We didn’t manage to fix it the second time round either…
This is the sad reality of relationship breaks.
If you don’t SOLVE the problem that is causing you and your partner to need a break from each other, eventually the same situation is bound to repeat.
You’ll need to take another, maybe an even longer relationship break.
That’s what kept on happening to us.
Even though we were perfect for each other, if we hadn’t managed to solve that ONE recurring relationship problem, we would have been broken up for good by now…
The Ultimate Solution to Prevent or Shorten Relationship Breaks
So you might be wondering, what was THE ONE PROBLEM that kept on causing us to take multiple long breaks from each other?
We didn’t know how to ACKNOWLEDGE each other’s feelings!
And what we discovered while working with countless other couples is that this ONE BIG BLOCK is what prevented them from successfully getting through to each other as well.
In it we guide you step by step on how to use acknowledgment to make your relationship break work and fix the problems that caused it. This way you won’t need to worry about having too much space from each other ever again.
We also address the common relationship problems and pitfalls that stand in the way of having a happy and lasting relationship, so that you can truly build the loving and stable relationship you dream of.
Click here to check out Rebuild Your Relationship
Also incase you and your partner easily start fighting and you think that might be what’s contributing to your relationship breaks..
You might find our post on how to fix your relationship when you can’t talk without arguing helpful.
If you have any questions about relationship breaks or about our solution to this problem, leave me a comment and I’ll get back to you!
Karolina
- How To Tell Him You Love Him – 50 Heartfelt Ways - 24. January, 2022
- 9 Signs Your Ex Is Waiting for You and Secretly Wants You Back - 14. January, 2022
- How to Be a Better Girlfriend – 5 Things That Matter Most - 25. July, 2021
Hi,
ive been with my partner for 7 years. For the last few months he seemed detached and a bit unhappy. He was living with me (and my parents) for the last year and didn’t get along great with them. I think that was the main problem, though the plan was that we would get our own property but a few months ago he said he was going to move back to his house, I said I thought that was best but I’ve barely heard from him since.I Saw him once in a work related capacity and he was really angry and said he didn’t want to talk at the moment and needed time and space so I’ve pretty much left him alone since. I’m hoping there’s still hope and I do think we were good together though I feel like I wasn’t appreciating him enough towards the end and I think he wasn’t living his own life enough which is really important to him. Should I try to contact him again or wait longer?
Hi Lucy, sorry about your situation! A couple living together with parents is almost always a challenge and can lead to a lot of friction…
It sounds like he’s been holding some grudges for all these months when he seemed detached and a bit unhappy and then choose to leave without communicating why. Maybe, when he moved out, he was expecting you to follow and move in with him…
Definitely don’t wait any longer. I imagine you might be worried that pursuing him will only push him further away, but if you do nothing he is only going to grow more and more distant.
Regardless whether he is still angry or not, you guys have been together for 7 years, he can’t just leave without giving you any explanation! Once you know what is wrong and why he left, only then you’ll get a chance to respond or even fix things. Then you’ll know whether there is still hope or not…
Hi, thank you! I did think that so I sent a message after he left and I said my preference was to live close to here (due to my business) but with him and that I still wanted to be with him etc but he never responded. I sent a further message saying I was giving him space because he’d asked for it and not because I didn’t care which he also ignored, but he did text me on my birthday and it was reasonably friendly I sent a light reply to which he did
respond so I’m hoping that’s a good sign. Though I’ve not heard from him again since. I think he’s also going through some things and has avoidant tendencies so it’s hard to know what to do for the best. He did do this a few years ago but not for this length of time and he kept in touch, sorted through work issues and then seemed to get his head together and come back fairly soon. This feels a lot more serious.
Lx
My girlfriend and I decided to take a break for 3 month from today. It was hard but I feel necessary. At first she wanted six month then she changed her mind to 3 month. Yes we can see whomever we want for but I have more important problems to deal with.
Let me back up. I have had a problem with lying, lying about everything. No I was not disloyal to her. However I’m in the middle of a divorce and I couldn’t give her the time and attention she needs. Plus we constantly argue about everything. We love each other very much. It something is not right. So I’m taking the time for myself to work on my lying by seeking professional help for it plus am going to finalize my divorce.
She on he other hand has said she will be seeing others and going out. I accept this. I even told her I trust her and she should follow her heart. We have agreed to set boundaries where I will not contact her within these three month, she is allowed to text me or call me. But with the understanding I need to work my program to be able to build a relationship on solid ground.
Is this hard, oh yes but I also know the results and benefits could not only help me regain a sense of moral compass but be able to have a stable relationship to build from. As the old adage says I only have control of me and if we come back together Is a decision of two people.I am only in control of me. Do I lov her yes, do ai want it to work yes. But time will tell and I hope to give you all a report as to where we are at in three month.
Hi Bob,
Sorry to hear about everything you’re dealing with, it sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate at the moment!
But you’re on the right tracks by seeking professional help and you and your girlfriend being transparent with your communication and boundaries. I hope things works out for you guys!
Hi
I met a person on a game 3 year ago and we were in online relationship for 2½ years. We never met in person because we are so far from each other also we are so young to cover this distance to meet eachother, so everything was going on through video calls insta whatsapp etc. He was and is a nice person but due to some of his Personal and family issue, which we talked about so many times before, we broke up.
The month(july 2021). And i became so busy for about 2 months after it. From 3rd month i started going to school. Then my bestie suggested me to talk with one of my classmate (say david) who used to like me since i shifted in city i am right now. And after some time of she convincing me i talked to him and said him to wait for some time because i recently broke up with my bf and he agreed( he is also a good person though but he is not the type of person i wanted).
Then there was a second classmate of mine(say lucifer) whom i knew since January 2021 and he is bestfriend of david. So i told him about david proposing me to knew how he is in person. But lucifer ended up proposing me and he told me he liked me since he came here and didn’t told anyone. But i refused him also because of the same reason i told to david. After 5 to 10 days we started talking like before and we gradually came i relationship ( in starting october). I discussed with him so much about my past that i am not able to recover fully etc etc. He listened peacefully and after some time everything became normal but i took my ex name some time and also my ex texted me( he didn’t knew i was in a relationship) which my bf got to know ( before i could tell him) this caused a lot of problem in first month but i reassured him that it is never going to happen.
Now in second month everything was better then the first month.there was a friend of my ex who sent me screenshot of my ex talking about me. And i used to think about how it was all in my past relationship, there were so many things left unsaid which i realised after reading the screenshots, i still used to think about my ex not missing him but i learned from him so much after he left me and maybe for the fear of being left alone again i wasn’t able to give my 100% in relationship.
In 3rd month i logged in my game where i met my ex and there was a msg from him i replied. Then he said he wanted to talk i told him to leave the msg here. (Yesterday)Then he sent me a long paragraph. I was replying it and he came online we talked about so many things that were unsaid and i told him about some of my problems and things i wanted to say him. Now my bf doesn’t know about it apart from it i have told him everything.
I was thinking about taking a break from last month but i thought let it be the way it is and just go with the flow but i think I’m not able to give my 100 into our relationship. This hurts me sometime that he loves me so much and I can’t love him back that much that’s why i thought to take a break to know what i actually want i don’t have feelings for my ex, whenever i talk to him i feel empty inside. And for my bf i have something but not everything. I’m so confused if i should take a break or not also if i talked about taking break I’m afraid that my bf will think that it is because of my past. What should i do?Please so reply as soon as possible.
Sorry for this hugeeeee paragraphs, but I’m just so confused and messed up right now.
Hi Anna,
Ultimately you need to make the decisions that feel right to you and are fair to the guys you’re with.
If you no longer have feelings for someone, that is okay. If you want a break to figure things out for yourself, that is also okay. The more you push these things out or how you feel about them, the more difficult they’ll be to manage down the line.
So be sure to listen to your needs and be as transparent as possible about them to your boyfriend.
Hello! My boyfriend got upset about something I said recently and it somewhat spiraled into an argument, though the anger was mostly from his end. I apologised and clarified the intentions of what I said but he was still adamant about how he took it. I decided to drop the topic at that moment and to discuss it another time seeing as he was so upset about it, which he agreed to. We were alright for a few hours before he said he wanted to take a short break and that he needed some time to think about stuff, which I am assuming is our relationship. We have been in a good place recently so this is all very sudden and surprising to me. I can’t stop thinking that this might lead to him wanting to end the relationship, especially since he was not willing to hear me out at that time on the issue. We are currently not in contact but I feel really anxious. Do you have any advice?
Hi Shanice,
What he’s upset about runs deeper than this one argument you guys had. It’s likely a very sensitive topic to him. In order to get him back, it’ll be important to make it about him and not about what you meant or hearing you out.
Otherwise you’ll keep indirectly confirming his (imaginary) suspicions and he’ll keep his guard up. So try focus on understanding what he experienced and his perspective, regardless of whether or not it reflects reality. Only then can you win his trust.
Hlo i just got into and argument with my boyfriend and i realized i hurt him really bad we talked and i apologized i realized my mistake and i wanna mend them i asked him to give me one last chance he said he needs time and that from next time i can take as much time as i want but i shouldnt blame things on him i regret what i did and i miss him badly he said he needs a break and we havent talked since thn he said a ly tc and we didnt talk i dont wanna loose him i love him and i have realized my mistake i apologized to him a lot many times but it isnt working am trying to give him space but i dont know wjat should i do ?
Definitely wait. He asked for space and giving it to him it the best thing you can do to fix things. He is probably still hurt and needs time to process what happened. I know it can be hard but be patient. Don’t be too hard on yourself for hurting him. It happens. We all make mistakes! He will get over it in time. Try to take comfort in his ly tc text and just wait.
Once he is ready, he’ll reach out, when he does try to regain his trust.
Hi,
I have been seeing this guy for a year and we were official for 4 months. We’ve had a few disagreements and fights but it was all resolved until the most recent one. The fight really started about what happened on the day but it soon spiralled to what’s been happening in our relationship. He is a super logical and pragmatic person and fails to show emotional effort – which is where I feel my needs aren’t met. We both look amazing on paper but I admit it does seem that we are lacking in some sort of connection. I approached this relationship pragmatically. The relationship is good, but not great. I thought connections are meant to be built but from his understanding relationships require work but should also come natural. In short, he initially said we should part ways but I gave him my thoughts that we should work on this, so has asked for some space and we are currently on a break. I’ve never been on a break before so I’m not too sure what to expect or when I’ll hear back from him. I just thought he gave up on this easily… it does make me feel that maybe he doesn’t care as much or it’s because of his non-emotional character traits or his lack of experience in dating? (he’s never had a long term relationship before). What do you think?
it sounds like he is overall quite distant, so much so that a lot of your needs aren’t being met because of this. You’re absolutely right, relationships do require work.
If he cares about you, he will get back in touch. In this case you might find How to Get an Emotionally Unavailable Man to Open Up helpful.
But if he doesn’t make any effort and things just gradually fizzle out, it’s a sign that he didn’t care enough and that his non-emotional character prevented him from developing a stronger connection with you.
Hi,
my bf and I been together 6 years going on 7. He struggles with affection and intimacy. we recently had an argument and it got heated and things was said that was hurtful. I ask for a break which he agreed too but I am having a hard time not contacting him I want to give him space I just worry he will move on. During our relationship we broke up for a year because my needs wasn’t being met I felt lost I was loving someone who couldn’t show me the same amount of love back. We got back together things was going good but they seem to start coming back again.
DO you have any advice?
Hi Morgan,
It’s great to hear that you guy managed to get back together despite the hardships you faced!
But yes, when a couple gets back together after a break up (even if it’s after a long period of time) the old issues will resurface sooner than later. That’s because the issues haven’t been dealt with yet and need to be resolved. In other words, your unmet needs, need to be met. Otherwise you’ll be caught in what we call ‘The Cycle of Relationship Problems’ where the same issues keep cropping up over and over again. This can lead to too much frustration, hurt and eventually breakups.
So you need to address the underlying issues that are causing his struggles with affection and intimacy (Because there is always a very valid reason a partner will struggle with meeting your needs). This is actually something we cover in depth in our Rebuild Your Relationship course because it’s essentially the reason so many couples (including Karolina and myself) kept breaking up. Because we were caught in the cycle and didn’t know how to address the underlying root cause that was causing us to argue all the time.
Once we learnt how to address it, we were able to break the cycle.
I hope it helps!
Hi Karolina, My boyfriend and I live 2 hours apart and each have kids part time so we have lots of time apart built into our situation. He is struggling with some major life changes with family and work and this is in addition to anxiety and recent alcohol dependency. He has asked for time apart a few times so he could “get his life together”. Last time it lasted over a month and his life only got worse (no positive changes whatsoever). I had to really encourage him to see me so we could work on things. He kept saying he still had to work on himself.. During the time apart he would remind me he’s thinking of me and ask me to wait for him and not give up on him.
He was acting distant again recently so I called him out on it only for him to once again say we should be apart while he figures out his life and gets healthy.
We have a very close connection and I don’t think it’s healthy to take so many breaks when we hardly see each other as it is. I’m so sad he won’t turn to me for support. He tells me how much pain he’s feeling, apologizes for hurting me too but won’t make any impactful changes through therapy or rehab.
I told him tonight that if he wants to be apart again (it’s been 2 weeks already) we should just be friends and I’ll always support him and be on his team. I really just want my loving partner back but I don’t know what else I can do. Any advice you can offer would be appreciated.
Hi Aimee, I’m sorry about your situation, it sounds extremely tough. Seems like he is in a really bad place right now and things aren’t getting better. You’re right, it’s not healthy to take so many breaks. Clearly something is preventing him from reaching out for any kind of help. One thing you can do is to ask him, why this is the case.
Either, he has some sort of block and feels like he has to be able to fix things all by himself. In this case, getting him to talk to about it is the only way for him to be able to break out of this pattern.
Or he is using this phrase “get his life together” as an excuse to let himself go even further.
Either way, you’re doing great being patient and now setting boundaries, and wanting to be “just friends”! It’s not cool for him to to keep you on hold all the time.
Hi Karolina,
Just recently he asked for a break because he’s been hurting mentally and emotionally due to being stationed overseas. We got in an argument because I felt like my needs weren’t being met mentally and emotionally. He said he wants to get better because he’s not happy with life. I begged for him for the first couple of days but now I’m giving him space. How long should I wait to reach out especially with his mental state? I still keep in touch with his mom because he wanted me to so I’m wondering how long should I wait to reach out or should I wait for him to reach out?
Hi Myra,
unfortunately, it’s common for couples to take breaks when one of them is struggling emotionally or mentally. Give him a week and then reach out to check in how he is doing.
The bad news is: due to his mental health he might not be able to give you what you need for a while.
But on the other hand, if you manage to get him to let you in and support him through his crisis, he’ll likely get out of it much sooner.
Hello, so I’m having a little bit of an issue… ok so currently me and this guy started talking again after not having any contact with eachother since we were in elementary school. We would message eachother throughout the day whenever we weren’t busy,went out to dates, he would come over after work and spend the night.. so this was for almost 5 months. Mind you, he told me he was mine and I told him I was his but we still never made it official.. ok so now to the point.. Out of nowhere I just started to feel like he was making excuses about his car not working so that he wouldn’t hang out with me but turns out he wasn’t lying. I was pretty upset for 3 days and he kept asking me if I was ok and if I needed to talk or if he did anything wrong. Instead of me opening up to him and telling him how I felt I just kept telling him that I was fine… a guy ended up messaging me on fb during that time so I replied back. This new guy and I would message eachother but it wasn’t back to back, he ended up posting me on his page with a picture of me. so the first guy that I was talking to saw the post and got super upset. He blocked me on social media and wouldn’t answer the two calls I made to him. This happened on a Monday, so that same night I went to where he works ro hopefully find him and I did, we talked for a bit and he said that he loves me but that he needed time/space to process what he had seen and what had happened… its been a week and still no contact from him, should I wait another week for him to message me or should I message him to see where we stand? 🥺 I don’t want to lose him because, he’s the one I wanted from the start, not the other guy. Now because of this I feel like I’m going to lose him.. how do I get him to message me back without sounding clingy and ousting him away more?
Hi Alejandra,
unfortunately what happened was a breach of trust to him and he’s hesitant to open up again.
If you haven’t already, you should share the entire story with him including your misunderstanding about his car and your messaging with the other guy. Being transparent will help him trust you again (even if it hurts at first).
Tell him all of this and preface it with that you know he asked for space, but you thought it was important to share the whole story and you really hope he’ll give it another shot.
You’ll like also find our post on How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship helpful.
Good luck!
Hi Karolina, thank you for sharing your story.
When you were on a break due to serious problems, do you still contact each other? My partner and I are experiencing some problems in our relationship. There are factors that troubling me and I have doubts in our relationship (no third party, more of a personal traits). I opened up to her, she agrees and really wants to change. I know it’s hard, as change requires effort and hardwork but I can’t seem to find it with her. I talk to her that I’m not happy in our relationship and I don’t feel the same love like before. I don’t know how I can fix our situation anymore. She got mad as I hurt her feelings and initiate to break things off. Saying, I was only thinking about myself and regretted out time spent together. And I just allow her as we were both emotional.
To be honest, I want to take a break and reflect on things. I felt guilty for hurting her but I think it’s best as I feel that I might take her for granted if I know myself that I’m not 100% sure in our relationship. I’m still open on getting back together, but I’m scared that I this might happen again and again.
How do you know if relationship is worth to give it a second, third try.
Hi Gail,
thank you for sharing your story as well.
There are honestly no hard rules about contacting each other, you’ll both need to do what feels right to you, but it’s important to come to an agreement (On the duration of the break and what communication it may/may not entail) -This can of course also change over time.
If what you want is to take a break and reflect on things, that’s totally okay, be as gentle as you can with each other and talk as openly as possible. But do be sure to address the issue and find solutions to you what you’ve mentioned (Doubts due to personal traits and feeling unhappy in the relationship), otherwise the cycle is likely going to repeat.
I don’t know your whole story, but I should also mention that Gabriel had similar doubts in our relationship and was also often saying he wasn’t 100% sure. A lot of the uncertainty came from what I mentioned in the post, it was our inability to properly acknowledge each others feelings. Once we managed that, everything changed and the doubts eventually stopped entirely.
A relationship is worth giving a second or third try if you’re both really drawn to each other and willing to work things out together. You can also ask yourself, if she truly moved on and was with somebody else, would you regret not having tried again?
That can also get you in touch with how much your relationship means to you and if you want to give it another shot.
Thank you for your reply. Appreciate it.
I have reached out to her and we’re both open for reconciliation. We both have lot of things to change and improve – personal and as couple. And I still want her to be by my side while working on those things.
I don’t know how things may go, but hoping it will be the best for us.
Thanks again! 😊
Hi Karolina!
I’m experiencing a break with my BF of 6 months. We have a really fun & playful relationship but he struggles to deal with my son who has Autism. He’s tried to deal with the challenges but I feel he just doesn’t understand that much about this issue. He asked for space, and I was supportive. It’s been a week, and we’ve had no contact. I won’t contact him. He asked for space so he will need to reach out if & when he’s ready. I gave him an out for a breakup but he said he just needed to leave because he was mad. We don’t live together as the relationship is new. Just feeling confused.
Enjoy your blog!
Hi Ret!
Glad to hear you enjoy our blog!
Sorry that you’re going through this with him. Despite everything, it’s good that he communicated where he was at and that he needed space and well done on being supportive.
Dealing with autism is something he’s likely completely unfamiliar with, maybe he got a bit triggered. If you have capacity, I’d say reach out in the next few days (if he doesn’t) and ask him what made him mad and have an honest chat about all of it. Leaving these things for too long, can lead to the two of you drifting apart.
I hope you guys work things out!
Hi, thank you for this! When it is a break due to external factors, it’s been a little over a week now. Did you reach out to him or did you wait for him to reach out to you?
Hi! Glad you found this helpful! Whenever we were on a break due to external factors and Gabriel didn’t contact me for over a week, I generally did reach out to check in how he is doing etc..
Was he responsive? My boyfriend was responsive at first but now he is not at all.
He was generally responsive, however I did sometimes have to coax him out of hiding by bringing him his favorite food or coming over to play video games… 😉 When people are going through something, they often have a hard time taking charge or initiating. That’s why you might need to take the reins or just wait it out.
I understand. Thank you again for your response!