Photo by Ahmed Aqtai

So your ex blocked you on everything, and you’re wondering what to do.

If your ex blocked you, then they’re telling you that they don’t want to have contact with you. Plain and simple.

There can be an endless list of reasons and motives for them to block you.

But ultimately those reasons are secondary. Since your ex wants to cut off all contact, that’s a boundary you should respect.

In this post, I’ll explain why it’s so important to do this and what your other options are.

Should You Reach Out To Your Ex If They Blocked You?

No, you should NOT reach out to your ex if they blocked you.

And if you’re thinking about trying to reach them on a different channel where they haven’t blocked you yet, definitely DON’T do that either!

Even more so if they’ve already blocked you on everything.

You might be thinking, if they only gave you a chance to explain, you could:

  • Tell them how much you love them
  • Apologize and tell them you’ve changed
  • Write them a love letter
  • Show them that things can be different this time, etc

Now, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I’ve worked with hundreds of clients who made similar mistakes and can tell you it’s too late for your explanations and pleading…

Not just that, if you did in fact tell them all of those things, (genuine as they may be) your ex would only reject you MORE.

Why?

Because they are all about what YOU want and need and not about what THEY want and need.

Your ex is clearly communicating that they don’t want to have contact with you, so reaching out is you ignoring what they want and need.

Time will tell whether your ex’s decision is permanent or temporary.

But for now, you should accept and respect their decision to block you.

Because if you reach out now, you’re only going to ruin your chances even further!

Think about it, if your ex has resorted to blocking you, then chances are they were already unhappy about your relationship.

Maybe they were telling you they needed space or didn’t want to talk, but you didn’t hear them then.

So they resorted to blocking you.

And if you now choose to try to cross this line, you’re only going to confirm their suspicions about you and conclude that they made the right choice with the breakup.

So don’t ruin any potential chances you might still have left!

What Does It Mean If My Ex Blocks Me?

If your ex blocks you, it could mean any of the following:

1. They Were Upset About How You Were Talking To Them

When you break up, things can get messy. The lines are blurred and emotions run high on both sides. So sometimes we say and do things that we later regret, but it’s too late to take them back.

And if your ex was upset about something you did or said, they may have decided to block you because it was the last straw for them.

2. They Didn’t Feel Like You Respected Their Boundaries

When your ex repeatedly tells you or conveys that what you’re doing is something they don’t want, but you do it anyway. Then they might choose to block you as a last resort.

Again, what’s important here is to now RESPECT that boundary and show them that you understand what they’re asking for.

And if you have a history of them complaining about this with you, then all the more reason to not give them further evidence that they’re right.

You want to show them that things can be different by NOT crossing their boundaries.

3. Your Ex Is Doing ‘ The No Contact Rule’

The No Contact Rule can be used for two things:

1. To truly get over someone and move on

If your ex wants to have nothing to do with you anymore and is absolutely clear on wanting to move on, they might try the no contact rule. This means they block you on everything and don’t ever unblock you.

2. To try to get you back

This only applies if you were the one who initially decided to break up. Then they might be tying to reverse the power dynamic by rejecting you instead. This is in the hopes that after a long period of them withdrawing and being unavailable, you’ll desperately want them again.

4. They Are Trying To Move On

Whether they are doing No Contact or not, an ex who blocks you might simply be trying to move on!

For someone to take such a radical step, they must have been feeling that things weren’t working for them for a while.

After a lot of thought and reflecting, your ex will have made up their mind that they no longer want you in their lives and closed all doors of possible communication.

What You Should Do About It

Which brings us to what you can or should do about your ex blocking you everywhere.

Primarily, it’s critical that your focus remains on finally respecting your ex’s boundaries.

Yes, you will hear me repeat this, because I know how hard it can be to follow this advice when you’re in-love with your ex!

You likely want nothing more than one last chance to undo all the mistakes.

But if you’re reading this post, you’re unfortunately way past that point.

Your best chances are to follow this advice:

Respect Their Boundary To Demonstrate You Care

Don’t just do it for an effect, do it because you genuinely care about how they feel!

You love your ex right? You want them to be happy and feel safe?

Then take their hint and respect their boundary of blocking you.

In doing so, you’ll be SHOWING them that you do care about their wishes. Rather than ignoring and overriding them again.

Accept That Your Ex Might Never Change Their Mind

Depending on how bad things were in your relationship and how messy the breakup was, your ex might be set on moving on.

And that’s a reality you simply have to come to terms with.

Things weren’t working in the relationship for a while, your ex made a decision, you broke up, and they might want to never look back.

It’s out of your control and the more you try to fight them on it, the more they will reject you.

I tell my coaching clients that they shouldn’t let their ex put them through that kind of repeated rejection, either! It’s not healthy!

So relate to your ex as a closed chapter in your life and focus on how to get through it.

Grieve And Reflect On What Went Wrong In Your Relationship

You’ll sob, you’ll cry and maybe want to hide under your blankets for a week.

You’ll likely still feel connected to your ex, but give yourself time to grieve and be upset, it’s perfectly natural.

And you can then also slowly reflect on what went wrong in your relationship.

Don’t do it to get them back, do it for YOURSELF! We carry our emotional baggage with us no matter whom we’re with.

The work you put in today will pay off for all relationships in your life.

So figuring things out a little can help you go a long way in not repeating mistakes in the future.

Try To Make Positives Changes For Yourself

Spend time with friends, reconnect with the things that brought meaning to your life, talk to someone you can trust.

Do what it takes to process your breakup, learn from it, and apply the lessons positively in your life.

And remember, as hard as it is, you’ll get through this!

I know it might not seem that way at this moment, but you’ll survive and rebuild.

You just need to use the time to heal and nurture yourself.

Prepare For A Potential Scenario Of Your Ex Unblocking You Or Reaching Out To You

Everything we discussed above will get you ready for this potential scenario, which happens after the breakup hits the dumper.

IF your ex does change their mind and unblocks you or even reaches out, it’s absolutely essential that you’re super-duper prepared for it!

Because IF this happens, your ex will still be very unsure about whether having contact with you again is a good idea to begin with.

Why?

They’re terrified by the idea that unblocking you is a BIG mistake because you’re both instantly going to fall into the familiar negative patterns.

And they’re afraid that you’ll then make the conversation about yourself and how much you love them and that everything has changed, and you want them back if they only gave you one last chance.

No, no and no. You will mess up your chance so fast and hard, it’ll be over in a heartbeat, and you’ll wonder what went wrong.

You need to make this conversation about THEM! About what they need, they want, what their hesitations or objections are. Only then are you maximizing your chances of winning them over.

This critical moment is exactly what we prepare our clients for in our Coaching Calls.

SimplyTogether Coaching CallsHere I’ll listen to your relationship story and where things went wrong. Based on that, we’ll then talk about the tests your ex would put you through if they reach out to you and how to pass them.

You can also benefit from just talking about your breakup to better understand and process it.

Click here to check out Coaching Calls.

Despite the difficult topics, I hope you found some clarity on what you can do to ease your pain.

You can also read my other post: Do Exes Come Back? – An Honest Answer for more answers.

Also, let me know what your situation is with your ex in the comments section, so I can help out.

Best,

Gabriel

Gabriel Brenner
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