Photo by Mikhail Nilov

When a guy goes a day without talking to you, it’s easy to get at least a little unsettled. You might start worrying about things like:

Did he change his mind about me?

What is he up to?

Why doesn’t he miss me?

When is he going to reach out?

A man distancing himself this way might mean many things. In this blog post, I’ll help you understand what’s going on for him when he stops texting you or contacting you.

This way, you won’t have to second guess yourself and will be able to put your worries aside.

I’ll also give a few tips on what to do, to get him to reach out to you again. But before going into any pragmatics, let’s first discuss why men act this way.

What Does It Mean When He Goes A Day Without Texting You

There can be many reasons why a guy can go for a day or even longer without talking to you. Here are the most common four of them:

1. He Might Be Testing You

When a guy stops contacting you for a day, it might mean that he is simply checking if you’re going to be ok with it or not.

On one hand, he wants to feel free and do as he pleases, to not have to check in with you, every single day. (It’s typical for men to pull away this way. Especially in the early stages of a relationship.)

On the other hand, he might also want to see if you actually care when he disappears. Which brings me to my next point…

2. He Might Be Leaving Room for You to Make the Next Move

Some of our coaching clients had a guy chase them really hard. He would always initiate, arrange fancy dates, do everything he could to impress a girl, only to then go silent out of the blue!

When this happens (in this particular order: first chasing you followed by silence), then him not talking to you means he is giving you room to make the next move.

He might be tired of taking charge and putting himself out there. Maybe he worries that you don’t care about him as much as he cares about you. Or that you might think of him as desperate.

Yes, guys feel this way too!

When this is the case, then him not talking to you means that he is just waiting and seeing what you’ll do.

3. He Might Be Feeling Down

Another super common scenario is: a guy stops texting you when he is feeling down.

Perhaps he is stressed out with school or his job, he is depressed or might even be struggling with serious mental health issues.

He is not doing well, but doesn’t want you to see this side of him. He might be afraid of being judged or being perceived as unattractive.

So he goes silent in the hopes that you’ll leave him be and let him get out of this rut by himself.

This kind of pattern is typical when you’re loving someone with avoidant attachment.

4. He Might Not Have Room for You at the Moment

This is a bit of an extension of the previous point. When a guy feels stressed or down, he might not have much emotional space for other people.

He might be too overwhelmed or depressed to send you cute texts or even to respond to your memes or messages.

Especially when he feels like you’re just the next person who is only needing things from him.

You’d be surprised, how common of a scenario this actually is!

Going silent is a lot of a guys’ first reaction to stress. And when a guy stops giving a girl his attention, women often panic and become overbearing or needy without realizing that this is what’s going on.

Which then only leads to the guy becoming more distant. Which in turn only makes them overthink and panic more

So keep in mind, when a guy goes a day without talking to you, it might also mean that he has no room for where you’re at on that day.

Can You Go a Day Without Talking to Someone You Love

In the early stages of a relationship, it’s absolutely normal to go a day without talking to someone you love!

Your lives are likely pretty separate at that point, so both of you might just go through your day without explicitly needing to contact the other.

It’s perfectly ok for things to be this way.

What’s more, having some space actually helps you appreciate each other more and gives your partner room to miss you!

For some people, one day might not be enough. They might need more time and space for themselves before letting you in again.

Some guys can go on three days without talking to you. Others might even need a week and that’s ok too!

As long as you’re comfortable with the amount of space that he needs, you don’t need to worry about this.

What Does It Mean When a Guy Can Go Days Without Talking to You

Things will look differently if your partner can go on for DAYS without talking to you or texting you. Or when he keeps on ghosting you and coming back.

If the amount of space in your relationship makes you feel lonely, excessively anxious, or insecure, then it’s likely not healthy for you to let things continue going on this way.

There are three big things that him not talking to you for days might mean:

Maybe He’s Just Not That Into You

Someone who rarely makes an effort to see you or to talk to might just not care about you as much as you wish they did. It’s a sad truth to face, but consider that it will save you a lot of precious time and energy.

When a guy can go days without talking to you, it might mean that he’s just not very invested.

That he doesn’t care if things work out or not, and that you’re not his priority. There is no point chasing after someone who just isn’t that into you.

You deserve better!

Guys That Drop Off the Map Generally Are Hiding Something

You’re not going to like this one either. But again, I’ve seen women get deceived this way time and time again.

The truth always comes out eventually, though, and it generally hurts more, the later it happens, so I’m telling you this now to save you some pain.

When a guy can go days without talking to you, it is a red flag. It might mean that he might be hiding things from you.

A common excuse ghosters use when they come back is either stress at work or mental health struggles.

“I was just feeling really depressed, that’s why I couldn’t pick up my phone and text you back for two weeks” or “Work was just so stressful.”

But what our coaching clients ended up discovering, in the end, was that there was more to their partner’s silence than just their excuses.

For example, sure he was depressed, but he also went on a bender. He’s been struggling with an alcohol addiction for years, and this was just one of his episodes.

Prolonged periods of silence (longer than a week) are suspicious. So it’s important to take this into consideration.

He Might Also Be Too Emotionally Unavailable for Any Serious Commitment

The last big reason why a man might go days without talking to you have to do with his emotional availability. There are guys out there who consider themselves lone wolves and want it to stay this way.

Maybe they come out of their shell for a few days, a week or a month, only to withdraw again. They’re used to their loneliness and consider it to be freedom.

So much so, they might not even miss you, and that’s why they can stay silent for so long.

You don’t need to keep on chasing after someone who is unavailable.

You’ll be significantly better off finding a guy that is actually seeking to connect and build a happy relationship.

What To Do When He Is Not Talking To You?

First thing you want to do when a guy is not talking is to stop seeking fault with yourself. His silence has much more to do with him than it does with you.

So don’t go panicking, it will only make things worse.

Keep in mind, if he cares, he will reach out.

You can also try to indirectly get his attention by posting something sexy or something you know that he will like.

Take your time evaluating which reasons fit your case best and develop your strategy accordingly.

And if you need more help getting your partner to make more effort, we can support you with this in a coaching call.

Here, we’ll listen and help you figure out what’s really going on with him. We’ll then give you actionable tips on what to say, do, post or text him to capture his interest and get him to chase you more.

Click Here to Check Out Our Coaching Calls

And if you can’t take his silence anymore and are considering just reaching out, be sure to check out my other post: Should I Text Him First or Not? What Will Happen if You Don’t

Thank you for reading! In case you have any questions, leave them in the comments section, and I’ll get back to you!


Karolina Bartnik