Photo by Dana Jm

Knowing how to recognize that a guy just isn’t into you is often harder than it might seem!

There is just something so addictive about fantasizing and chasing after a guy who acts unavailable and hard to get…

I’ve had crushes on guys, who just weren’t really interested in me.

Some of those guys even made the first move, asked for my phone number, arranged for dates, etc.

But something just FELT OFF for me from the beginning.

When a guy you like doesn’t like you back it feels like rejection.

And being rejected is always painful.

That’s why it’s important to catch it as early as possible. BEFORE you get too emotionally involved in the relationship.

Here are some clear signs that the guy you’re dating doesn’t really care about you or isn’t into you.

1. It Takes Ages for Him to Reply to Your Texts

Texting is how we do the majority of our communication nowadays.

That’s how we all talk, flirt, make plans, etc.

If a guy you like takes hours or even days to reply to your texts…

It’s a clear sign that he isn’t really into you but is just too big of a chicken to be upfront about it. 🐥

If he takes this to the extreme, you also might want to consider the possibility that he’s simply a player.

2. You’re Always the One Initiating to See Him

If you find yourself being the one who texts, calls and takes charge to make things happen, then you should know that…

When a guy never makes an effort to arrange to see you it unfortunately means he doesn’t really care to spend time with you.

I know it might be tough to face this, but the truth is, YOU DESERVE BETTER!

Don’t waste your time on a guy who won’t even lift a finger for you (literally) and is giving you another sign that he’s just not that into you

Time to move on girl.

3. He Never Asks You Any Personal Questions

If the man you’re dating is doing ALL THE TALKING.

And never asks you anything, it means he doesn’t really care to get to know you.

When a guy is truly interested, he will make an effort to learn more about you by asking you questions.

And by questions, I don’t mean superficials like:

How was your day?” or “Nice weather, isn’t it?

He needs to ask you more PERSONAL questions, like these.

So in general, next time you’re talking or texting watch out for this sign. You’ll then know how to tell if a guy isn’t into you.

4. He’s Never Tries to Impress You

Dating is all about both sides showcasing their BEST side.

If the guy you’re with never tries to impress you.

Say be demonstrating a skill, flashing a new toy or taking you out to fancy places…

Then it’s a clear sign he doesn’t care about winning you over. And likely isn’t into you.

5. He Often Comes Late or Cancels Last Minute

I hate it when a guy does that!

It’s a clear sign that he has no respect for my time whatsoever.

Emergencies happen.

I get that. But they rarely happen twice in a row…

When a guy repeatedly comes late or cancels his plans with you last minute, then it’s a sign he isn’t into you.

These types of men are usually also the ones that are likely to ghost you for no fault of your own. 

So better steer clear of him.

You are not a priority to him, he is most likely just STRINGING YOU ALONG.

6. He Is Distant and Secretive

It’s normal to be a bit distant from each other when you’ve just started dating.

It takes time to really open up and build trust in a new relationship.

But if you feel like your relationship isn’t progressing and he just isn’t letting you in AT ALL.

It’s a sign that he just isn’t open for any serious commitment and will most likely never let you in.

7. He Keeps You a Secret From His Friends

Being introduced to each other’s friends and family is an important step for any new relationship.

It’s normal that it might take weeks or even a few months for a person to feel ready for it.

Especially when it comes to family, they can be very critical sometimes…

When it comes to friends though, it’s usually much less of a problem.

So if a guy you’ve been seeing keeps finding excuses to not introduce you to any of his friends…

It’s a sign he doesn’t really want you to become a part of his life and probably isn’t into you.

8. Dates With Him Are Boring

There are honestly so many ways to make a first date lip-smacking good!

But I’ve been on SO MANY boring dates in my life, it’s crazy.

Usually, I blamed myself for it and tried to make an effort to make things less awkward and more interesting.

But the truth is, it’s not your fault when a date is boring.

It’s often just a sign that the chemistry is simply NOT there between you two. And that it’s just another one of those hilariously silly dates you inevitably have with men.

And that’s okay.

There are plenty of fish in the sea.

But you’re better off, taking this is as yet another sign of him not being into you.

9. He Says He Wants to “Keep Things Casual”

Deciding to become exclusive with each other is a big deal, and it doesn’t always happen right away.

Gabriel and I only became ‘officially exclusive’ about one and a half months after we started dating.

It’s not that we were seeing other people at the time, we were just both wary of commitment and we wanted to take things slow.

(Yes, I’m a girl and I used to be afraid of commitment, cases like me exist! 😆)

But if you’ve been going out with someone for MONTHS and he repeatedly says that he wants to

“Keep things casual.”


He clearly isn’t really in love with you and wants to keep looking.

10. He Makes up a Pet Name for You Right Away

This is more of a sign that a guy is into you physically….

BUT he is NOT SERIOUS about you.

It’s a phenomenon I’ve actually repeatedly observed while hanging out with some SERIAL PLAYERS.

(I used to sail a lot in my twenties and met some really deceitful guys those circles…)

When a guy gives you a cute pet name, like sweety, honey, etc right after the FIRST DATE.

It’s NOT a sign of endearment.

He is just in it to get LAID and can’t even be BOTHERED trying to remember your name.

Outrageous, I know…

I once happened to sail on the boat with a guy who slept with THREE different girls in ONE week!

He called each one of them “My Kit Kat”…

So take it as a clear sign that a guy ISN’T into you…

11. You Feel That He Doesn’t Really Care About You

When it comes to matters of heart, our intuition is often our best compass.

Even if a guy says and does ALL THE RIGHT THINGS, but something still FEELS OFF for you, trust your gut on this one.

Maybe you’re just a trophy to him…

(Yes, guys can be gold diggers too!)

A man who is with you for your looks or money only, won’t stay true to you in the long run.

You deserve to be with someone who truly cares about YOU.


I hope you are now feeling clearer on how to tell when a guy just isn’t into you.

Realizing that your crush doesn’t really care about you is always tough but it will protect you from future heartbreak!

And if you find yourself falling for guys that are either not into you, give you mixed messages or require you to make all of the effort which leave you feeling drained and unfulfilled, then maybe you’ll be interested in our Coaching Calls.

In them we’ll explain to you the specific things you need to do, to turn the guys from not taking you seriously, to seriously crushing on you. And you’ll also learn how to safeguard yourself from future disappointment by detecting the signs early and know how to spot suitable and worthy candidates instead.

Click here to check out Coaching Calls.

And if you find it helpful, you can also learn more about how to finally find the right guy instead.

If you still feeling unsure about this topic and would like some advice, let me know in the comments section and I’ll get back to you.


Karolina Bartnik