Relationships are often insane emotional rollercoasters!
One moment you’re on cloud nine feeling super close to your guy…
…And the next you’re fighting about the same thing for the hundredth time and it seems like your relationship is simply doomed to fail!
These kinds of ups and downs are something my girlfriend Karolina (who runs this blog with me) and I often experienced too.
And for us, sometimes things got even WORSE…
What if you’re having negative experiences MOST of the time? And you’re not sure whether you’re even happy in your relationship anymore?
What if you’re in so much pain, you’re not even sure you want to continue anymore…
Where do you draw the line and at what point can you say and know for sure if your relationship is really over?
I’ve put together a list of 10 SIGNS that will help you get the answer you need.
If you can relate to 7 or more of these, then unfortunately it may be time to call it quits…
1. You’ve Lost Your Special Spark and Connection with Him
When Karolina and I have felt too disconnected it could seem like it was all going to end soon.
Like “Okay, that’s it, packing my bags this isn’t going to work.”
Because relationships are defined by- and NEED CONNECTION.
Additionally romantic relationships require a spark of attraction with your man mixed in with some flirtatious tension.
So if you feel like your spark and connection have long been consigned to your relationship history museum, then count one sign for yourself.
2. You Often Feel Alone and Misunderstood
Secondly, if a prevalent feeling you have in your relationship with him is feeling alone and misunderstood, this is a sign your relationship might soon be over.
We’ve seen and heard it from so many couples, that one (or both) of them feels alone EVEN when they’re sitting right next to their partner and talking to them.
This often goes hand in hand with feeling misunderstood.
That no matter what or how you try and express your needs, he simply doesn’t get it and often turns it into something it’s not and you end up fighting instead!
3. You Don’t Believe You Can Trust Him
Anybody that has had their trust broken knows just how BADLY it can hurt.
If your man has betrayed you in some way and you’ve been through a painful experience like this…
Then it certainly adds to the signs that your relationship might really be over.
The same counts for you, if you just have a general mistrust towards him and think that he might not share important things with you or that he’s KEEPING SECRETS.
Trust is a true cornerstone in a relationship that needs to be built, respected and maintained.
4. You Just Can’t Take the Fighting Anymore
Ugh! I hate fighting.
There’s nothing more disheartening, frustrating and exhausting than fights.
Unfortunately for better or worse, they’re often a constant companion in relationships.
Having said that, there is a BALANCE to be had.
Your fight to fun ratio with your man should be at about 30/70 at most!
That’s 30% fighting time and 70% fun time.
If the time you fight goes BEYOND the 30% limit, this too is a bad sign for your relationship.
5. The Thought of Leaving Him Is Liberating
It’s normal to wonder what might have been, had you gotten together with that other guy instead.
There’s no harm in daydreaming from time to time.
But it’s a different matter if you feel viscerally RELIEVED at the thought of leaving your boyfriend or husband.
This indicates that there is something fundamental in your relationship that is really NOT WORKING for you.
And it’s something you cannot simply brush off.
Rather it’s another sign indicating your relationship may be over soon.
6. You Don’t Feel Important or Valued
Mutual appreciation is a healthy and vital component of your relationship.
If it is lacking and you feel unimportant or not even valued by him, add another sign to your count.
Because it’s not okay for you to be putting your time and energy into your relationship with him, only to feel taken FOR GRANTED.
This kinda stuff chips away at your self esteem and will leave you utterly depleted in time.
I’m telling you from personal experience with an ex.
7. You’re Secretly Thinking About Other Guys
From what you guys tell us, fantasizing about another doesn’t seem to be uncommon.
So again, if you’re doing this from time to time it’s no biggie.
If however, your thoughts wander to other men frequently and you’re seriously considering jumping ship…
That tells me that TOO MANY of your needs are simply not being met in your relationship with your man.
Which brings us to…
8. He’s Not Meeting Your Needs
Whether you crave emotional closeness, exciting conversation or sexual pleasure with your man, it’s important that your needs are being met to a degree that you’re moderately happy with.
In our relationship Karolina’s need for security and commitment was unfortunately NOT MET for a long time.
And it was really tough for her..
But as we grew closer over the months and years, I built more trust towards her and my commitment and loyalty became unwavering.
So although it’s normal for certain needs to take time to be met, you shouldn’t be left hanging forever.
9. You Just Don’t Talk Anymore
If one or both of you are not talking to each other anymore, it’s a sign of something being really off in your relationship.
Ideally, no matter how bad things might be you should always keep an open channel of communication.
It’s better to express things than let them BOIL INSIDE until they explode out like a volcano.
So if you’re not talking anymore, it’s a clear sign that things are not working and that your relationship might be nearing its end.
10. You’re Not Sure You Love Him…
Sometimes we get so caught up with ‘being with someone’ that we lose track of how we FEEL about that person.
How you felt towards your man on day one is not how you felt 6 months or years later.
People and relationships change, they’re not static.
So It can be hard to realize or admit that you might feel like “… I’m not sure I love him anymore.”
We KNOW how tough and disheartening relationships can be because we had YEARS worth of it OURSELVES.
So I get that this post might be a difficult read.
But you’re here and are actually trying to figure out your relationship.
And in case you’re new to these parts and don’t know our story yet, we actually broke up 3 times before we finally uncovered the secrets to making a relationship truly work.
So you should know that both Karolina and I are actually BIG BELIEVERS in happy endings.
We fought really hard for our relationship and ultimately figured things out!
So if despite everything, you feel like your relationship with your man is too important to give up on just yet and you want to give it another shot.
You can check out our Rebuild Your Relationship course.
In it we teach you how to avoid all the common pitfalls that lead relationships to being over and how to revive your relationship with your man so that you have the love and connection with him that you so deeply crave.
And if you’re unsure about something or have any questions, drop me a comment below and I’ll do my best to help you out!
I’ll see you next time,
- He Gets Defensive When I Tell Him How I Feel – How to Get Through - 5. July, 2021
- Why Do I Need Constant Reassurance in a Relationship - 23. June, 2021
- Caught in a Love-Hate Relationship, Should You Worry? - 22. March, 2021