Let’s be brutally honest here. We are all selfish creatures who act in our own self-interest.
When we do nice things for others, most of the time we DO EXPECT something in return.
Selfishness in relationships is often demonized, but I personally don’t see it as a bad thing.
Doing nice things out of selfish reasons doesn’t diminish their value.
There is nothing wrong with doing loving things for your partner because you want to make them love you in return.
EVERYBODY DOES THAT. We all just pretend that we don’t. 😝
Here are some little things you can do, to make your partner love you more.
1. Appreciate Your Partner’s Efforts
When you notice your partner made an effort to do something that’s new, that they’re a bit unsure of, you might feel this urge to point out flaws and correct him/her right away…
It’s a bad habit that most of us, unfortunately, have.. Really, this ONLY causes DAMAGE to a relationship.
The best way to make your partner love you more is to try to resist this irritating urge and validate your partner instead.
You trying to correct your partner in a situation like this will only put them off and make them more likely to give up.
Validating your partner’s efforts, on the other hand, will encourage them to try harder and do more.
It will make them feel valued and loved and they will inevitably love you in return.
2. Show Them Your Support
Everybody in the whole wide world is desperate to have someone else BELIEVE IN THEM.
When your partner tells you about their goals or resolutions, they desperately want you to support them in their efforts.
Sometimes, your partner’s goals will seem unrealistic or silly.
When that is the case, don’t shoot them down right away.
Take your time to understand their true objective and where they’re coming from.
This will inevitably make it easier for you to be more supportive of your significant other and they’ll love you for it.
3. Compliment Their Appearance
Complimenting someone’s appearance is one of the easiest ways to make them feel good.
People tend to believe that only women care about looking good, but that is so not true.
Straight men want to feel desirable and sexy too!
Even when they pretend not to and totally don’t know how to get there…
Complimenting even little things about your partner’s looks will make them feel special and loved, and they’ll be very likely to pay it back.
4. Compliment Their Intelligence
This might be a shocking one to hear, people are just as insecure about their brains as they are about their looks.
Luckily, complimenting someone’s intelligence is just as easy as complimenting their looks.
Point out when your partner says something smart or when he/she knows something you don’t.
It will boost their confidence and it’s bound to make them appreciate you more.
5. Give Them Your Undivided Attention
Due to our busy schedules and hectic lifestyles, we tend to CONSTANTLY be kind of DISTRACTED.
Chatting with three people at the same time and watching youtube videos while your partner is telling you about their day. We’re all guilty of that sometimes…
A great way to inspire his/her love is to find a way to silence all that hectic noise, put away all your devices and dedicate 100% of your attention to your partner.
It will make your significant other feel important and cared for and he/she will love you for it.
6. Check-In With Your Partner. FOR REAL
When we ask the question “how are you?” most of the time it’s meant as mere politeness.
You might have been asking your partner “How was work?” and he/she has been answering “uhh, ok..” for the past months because they SENSED that you’re not interested in hearing the real answer to that question.
People in relationships often pretend that things are OK for their partner because they don’t want to cause alarm or trouble…
However, checking in with your partner for real and making room for their true emotional state is really crucial for keeping the relationship healthy.
Checking in with your partner and being truly receptive of where they’re at, will make them open up and love you more.
7. Give Them Some Physical Affection
This one is pretty straightforward… Physical touch is a very important love language.
Giving your significant other gentle kisses, snuggles or a massage can instantaneously bring them closer.
It’s a great and easy way to express your feelings for them. It’s foolproof and it’s bound to reignite your partner’s love for you.
8. Set Up And Organize A Date They Have Been Talking About
We all have things that we really want to try but don’t dare do it on our own.
It could a lot of different things like a bouldering class, scuba diving, or just a trip to opera.
For you to organize an activity that your partner has been wanting to do for ages, it’s like a dream come true!
I recently kept on going on about playing badminton. And when we went to do it, I was totally overjoyed. I had so much fun… 🤩😅
When it comes to this topic you have to think of your partner as a kid that’s really hang up on this one particular activity. Like when you were a kid and wanted to go to Disneyland or something.
Fulfilling that one need your partner has most likely brought up in conversation like a million times already, will make them fall over heels for you.
Make their dream come true and they’ll be inspired to do the same for you!
9. Express Your Love Through A Thoughtful Gift
This one is very similar to the dream come true date idea.
We all have things we want, but feel like we don’t deserve.
It might be something big or something totally small.
Like a particular type of cheese or an elaborate cocktail at a fancy bar.
Small things can make a BIG difference!
What is that your partner really wants but doesn’t dare get?
Get it for them and they’ll love you that much more!
10. Help Them Out With Something Difficult
Everybody struggles with certain things…
For example, it’s hard for me to make doctor appointments.
Having Gabriel help me decide which doctor to call and sit by side when I’m on the phone is SUPER HELPFUL.
What does your partner struggle with?
Offer to help them out with that and try to support them through it and they’ll love you for it!
Hope this article inspired you to take action in your relationship and find ways to make your partner love you more!
If you have any questions or comments about this topic and my attitude, please let me know in the comments section! I’d love to hear from you!
Being able to put your relationship into question means you can reassess things and improve things that need improvement.
#9 You Have Separate Interests And Preferences
When in love, it’s easy to get lost in another person’s world and lose track of yourself for a bit.
However, a healthy relationship is when two individuals choose to share their lives with one another.
People often assume that being different from your partner means that you two aren’t perfectly compatible. That is complete BS!
Having your own separate interests and preferences means that both you and your partner retained your individuality.
#10 You Can See The Future Together
Healthy relationships are nurturing. They help you grow both as a couple as well as individuals.
If both you and your partner talk and plan the future together, it means your relationship is developing and growing.
Making plans and looking forward to things and events is a natural way life progresses. Regardless of what stage your relationship is at, there is always the next step and the next goal you can look forward to.
Looking forward and planning a future together means you’re in a healthy relationship.
I hope these 10 Points helped you better understand what it means to be in a healthy relationship. If you have other signs of being in a healthy relationship that you’d like to share or you have any questions, let us know in the comments section!
Your guy wants you to have his back and help him out when he needs it. He actually wants to be able to count on you and be emotionally available.
This includes emotional support when he feels vulnerable, say when something in his life hasn’t worked out or his job is weighing on him.
In short, he wants YOU to reassure him and make him feel safe.
5. He Wants Intimacy
Yes, we all know men want sex.
But frankly, this is a stereotype that often does more harm than good in relationships.
He doesn’t just want to have sex with you, he wants to feel CONNECTED to you!
This is something he’s unlikely to say to you.
Men are expected to “be strong and show no weakness” and unfortunately, the man you’re with most likely has also been taught that “wanting to connect is weakness”.
So it might be, that the only way he knows to connect is through sex.
But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want MORE with you.
To him, sex isn’t just about physical pleasure, it’s about him wanting to feel closer to you.
This brings us to the biggest and arguably most important point in all of this.
All the things men want, that we’ve covered so far have something rather simple in common: What he ultimately wants is to feel close and connected to you.
The problem is, men have often been programmed to reject nurturing intimacy and can thereby subconsciously sabotage it in their own relationships.
If you find yourself in a situation where you’ve made endless efforts to make things work with your partner, but he just doesn’t respond the way you’d hope he would, then this might be the very reason.
In it we teach you the things men really need from a woman (That they might not even be able to convey themselves). And we’ll show you how to approach him with a mindset and tools that will finally allow you to get through to him and have him respond the way you want.
You probably just started dating someone and things were magical in the beginning. In the honeymoon phase, your relationship felt fresh and exciting.
Sparks were flying even when you two just touched hands and looked into each other’s eyes. Everything seemed perfect and things just worked out.
But now, after just a couple of months or even weeks of dating, it doesn’t feel like that anymore.
Your relationship felt like true love when you first met, but after the honeymoon phase ended it became plain boring.
You must be wondering. Where did all that magic go?
Is it because you’re the wrong person? Maybe it’s you who is doing something wrong? Can you go back to the beginning and fix things?
Yes, you absolutely can!
There is no need to worry! There is nothing wrong with you or your relationship. Every single couple goes through this process.
Nobody manages to stay in the initial honeymoon phase forever. It is possible to get it back though!
Gabriel and I have been dating for almost eight years now and we’re still totally into each other. Sometimes we still get so lovey-dovey at parties that people around us roll their eyes and sigh “uhh, get a room you two!”.
Just like you, we had our moments of doubt and there were times when the honeymoon phase felt like nothing more than a distant memory. But we managed to get through those times and kept our romance alive.
In this article, I will cover 5 reasons that cause the honeymoon phase to fade and what you need to do to get it back.
1. Honeymoon Phase Fades When The Novelty Wears Off And Life Goes Back To Normal
Let’s face it, fewest of us feel truly happy and fulfilled in our everyday lives. That’s why we often look to our partner to fix things for us.
Us girls, in particular, have all been thought that once we meet our prince charming, we get to live happily ever after.
In the beginning, love does feel like a fairy tale.
Your partner is a new addition to your life and everything changes.
However, as time goes by, people always revert back to their old patterns.
When you start dating someone, you hardly know them, so you’re likely to fantasize and imagine them to be the solution to all your life’s problems.
Unfortunately, with this kind of attitude, you’re bound to get disappointed really fast. This disappointment will inevitably end the honeymoon phase in your relationship.
The sad truth is, no matter how perfect you are for each other, no person can ever make another person feel happy and fulfilled, no matter how hard they try.
Relationship Chemistry Fix #1: Don’t Expect Your Partner To Make You Happy
If you want to rekindle the spark in your relationship, you’ve got to stop expecting your partner to fix things for you.
You’ve got to take YOUR LIFE in YOUR OWN HANDS and shape it the way you want it to be.
Don’t waste your time waiting for your partner to read your mind and fulfill your expectations.Communicate your needs and wants, make things happen.
Even Disney knows better now.
The modern princesses are not the typical damsels in distress anymore. Nowadays princesses are right in the middle of all the action, they often even end up saving the prince!
Don’t aspire to be Snowwhite, be Elsa, she is way more badass and sexy.
2. Believing That You Know Everything There Is To Know About Your Partner Will Make Your Honeymoon Phase Wear Off
When two people start dating, they generally don’t know each other that well.
The process of meeting a stranger and then gradually getting to know him/her better is a big part of what makes the honeymoon phase so thrilling.
There are a lot of unknowns at the beginning of a relationship.
Every date provides an opportunity to get to know more about each other. Everything new you find out about your partner feels fresh and exciting.
However, as time goes by, most people in relationships start believing they’ve already learned everything there is to know about each other.
This is where the thrilling process of opening up and getting to know a stranger ends and the safety inducing yet boring familiarity kicks in.
It’s the end of the honeymoon phase.
Relationship Chemistry Fix #2: Admit it, You Still Don’t Know Everything There Is To Know About Your Partner
I know it might be scary to admit, but your partner is a complex being, with their own unique history, preferences, and desires.
Even though you’ve known each other for a long time, in some ways they are still a bit of a stranger.
If you want to bring back the honeymoon phase in your relationship, you have to let go of that cushy familiarity and embrace the unknown.
There are still things you DON’T KNOW about each other.
Admitting that and making an active effort to learn more about your partner will rekindle that spark from the beginning of your relationship.
Here are 30 Questions to inspire you and help you be more curious about your man.
3. Expecting Your Partner To Perform His/Hers “Duties” Will Kill The Chemistry In Your Relationship
This might be a hard one to swallow, but if you want to get your honeymoon phase back, you’ve got to stop trying to control your man/woman.
Sense of obligation is not hot.
Us women are often brought up with the sense that men and women are supposed to serve each other.
That’s why you might be expecting that your man will carry the grocery bags for you, empty the bins, walk you home after a date, etc.
And vice versa, a man might expect you to have sex with him whenever he feels like it.
As nice as all these acts of serving each other might be, expecting your partner to “perform their duties”, will inevitably make him/her hate doing it and resent you.
When two people start dating they often do all sorts of little things for each other, because they want to show their appreciation and to charm their potential partner.
However, turning these acts of kindness into an obligation will take all the “magic” out of it.
All couples fall into routines at times and everybody has their own ways getting their partner to do what they want.
Nonetheless, love in only then true when it’s given freely.
Relationship Chemistry Fix#3: Free Your Partner From Their Obligations
If you want to bring back the honeymoon phase in your relationship, you have to give your partner their freedom back.
You have to allow them not to fulfill their obligations.
So if you want that spark back, you’ve got to stop expecting your partner to be a good boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife and just let them be themselves.
This means: no carrying of bags and no obligatory weekly sex…
Your partner needs to EXPERIENCE freedom from their obligations.
Only that can allow them to express their love for you through an act of kindness again.
Doing things purely out of a sense of obligation is just annoying and frustrating. Being genuinely caring, on the other hand, is totally hot.
Setting your partner free out of their obligations will make them feel loved and cared for.
A real act of love and care will reignite the spark between you two.
4. Unspoken Grudges End The Honeymoon Phase
Relationships generally always start with a clean slate.
When two people start dating, they usually barely know each other, which means that they have not spent a lot of time together yet.
As the relationship progresses and you spend more and more time with your partner, unfortunately, you get more and more chances to make the other one upset.
There is no such thing as a perfect match. Two people will always end up hurting each other’s feelings in one way or another.
Sad but true, that’s the reality of all relationships…
This doesn’t even need to include any big transgressions. Even little things like arriving late for a date or choosing to hang out with a friend instead of your partner can feel hurtful at times.
Doing hurtful things is not what kills the chemistry between two people though.
It’s not talking about it and holding a grudge that extinguishes the spark.
Holding grudges will create invisible walls around you and you will inevitably shut your partner out.
Moreover, letting these little things simmer silently over time, will only blow them out of proportion.
Relationship Chemistry Fix#4: Come Clean About The Things That Have Hurt You In The Past And Get Ready To Listen
Admitting to your partner that something they did hurt you, might not be easy. You might feel afraid that bringing these things up will put your relationship at risk, or that it will only cause an argument.
Speaking out about the things that hurt you might be hard but admitting to having done hurtful things is way harder than that.
Communication is a skill that can be developed over time. Here are 3 Easy Hacks to help you through this process.
It’s always more tactical to try to listen to your partner first, before making them hear you out. Otherwise, you’re likely to just end up talking past each other.
Communicating in relationships tends to get messy. It’s ok to fight sometimes, that’s just the reality of how things work. There is no way around it.
Fighting is just a way of figuring things out. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s the only way to resolve an issue.
Resolving Arguments will eliminate the grudges and tear down the walls that are separating you from your partner.
You don’t need to attempt to solve all your relationship problems all at once, hearing your partner out about one small thing, can make a world of difference.
It will reignite that spark and bring you and your partner closer together.
The honeymoon phase is just a fleeting stage that people experience when they first get together. But just because that phase is over, doesn’t mean that the spark is gone.
It is totally possible to bring back that chemistry that made you and your partner crazy about each other when you first met. We have done it ourselves!
Moreover, chemistry can actually get better and stronger over time.
As you build trust and get to know each other, that spark of attraction that connected you and your partner at the beginning can transform into a raging fire, also known as TRUE LOVE.
It takes time and effort to make a relationship work. But believe me, it’s a great investment and it really pays off!
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What are your experiences with the honeymoon phase? What strategies do you use to bring back chemistry in your relationship?
Summer is finally here. It is finally time to escape the constant stress and monotony of your everyday life.
However, the alluring holiday destinations hold unknowns, which can cause tension for both, fresh and seasoned couples.
You might be nervous about heading out on a summer adventure, these five tips will help with the challenges ahead.
Tip 1: Give Yourselves Time To Unwind And Slowly Get Into The Holiday Mindset
Even though the plane might take you far away from all the sources of your every-day stress within hours, your mind might need longer to catch up.
Switching off from a busy work mode and just relaxing, isn’t always so simple.
It can take time to unwind and slowly settle into the holiday mode.
Give yourself and your partner time to find the way into the holiday mindset. Take it easy and go easy on your boyfriend/girlfriend in the first couple of days.
I know holidays can be stressful too, after all, you ‘re probably in a new, unknown place, countless little things that don’t go according to plan. Even small things like taking a wrong turn on a highway, or getting lost in a small town might cause an argument.
In these moments try to remember: you’re on holiday, you’re together and you’ve got time.
There is no schedule you need to follow. No deadlines, no meeting to attend, etc.
So be patient and try to chill. It will become easier as the days go by and both you and your partner settle into the holiday mode.
No-one, not even your phone, can give perfect directions. Who knows, one wrong turn might just take the two of you to a way more charming and unique destination!
Tip 2: Enjoy Your Couples Holiday As Though It’s Not Going On Social Media
People love to post their holiday photos online and rake in likes. All the couples on Facebook or Instagram are madly in love and are having the time of their lives.
Food, vistas, selfies -everything is picture perfect.
Behind the scenes, however, the “perfect couples” are fighting just as much as anybody else. So don’t be fooled by all these perfect images and don’t try to uphold some imaginary standards.
Nobody is perfect and your couples holiday is not a competition.
I personally find that focusing on taking pictures and posting them online often take me out of the moment. So if you want to fully enjoy the quality time with your partner, why not take the performance pressure off?
Try to live your holiday as though you were not going to post it online.
Do it for yourselves, not for the validation. In fact, let your couples holiday be so awesome, it should be kept top secret. You wouldn’t want to send your friend and followers writing in fits of jealousy, would you? Not that that can’t be fun too…
The point being, you don’t need to prove anything to anybody.It’s about the two of you having great times together, pictures serve reliving those fond memories.
Tip 3: Don’t Compromise Right Away, Find Creative Solutions To Make The Most Of Your Couples Holiday
They say that compromise is necessary to make a relationship work. I personally think that people are often way too quick to jump into it.
Gabriel and I often find ourselves wanting two different things while on holiday. I’m sure you and your partner will have to cope with that problem too.
When faced with that kind of dilemma keep in mind that you are two individuals with particular wants and needs both equally valid. Compromising too soon can often lead to mutual dissatisfaction and silent resentment.
Instead of giving up on your preferences and trying to meet halfway, take some time to listen and understand one another. These 3 Easy Communication Hacks can help you with that.
Look for creative solutions. Figure out ways in which you both get what you want.
For example: if your partner is a tanned surfer who wants to spend all day on the beach, but you are pale skinned and love to read, get an umbrella. This way he/she can go conquer the waves, while you devour your favorite novels in the shade, all while being within eyeshot.
Couples often don’t want to buy big things like umbrellas, because they’re impossible to take with on an airplane and you’re forced to leave it behind every single time. It is true and it is a waste, however, little investments like this can make a huge difference to the quality of your time together.
If something so simple like an umbrella can save you and your partner from an unpleasant quarrel or expectations being let down, go get it!Yours and your partner’s happiness is worth it!
Deciding what and where to eat is another common source of conflict for many couples who are on a holiday together. If you’re a steak lover, but your partner is vegetarian, take the time to choose a restaurant that caters to both your appetites.
Figure it out, talk and listen. If you give up and compromise too soon, most likely neither of you will get what they want.
A solution to a seemingly hopeless dilemma may be right around the corner.
Tip 4: Being Together On A Couples Holiday Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Be Apart
Sometimes your preferences will be so different, it’s going to be impossible to find a solution for both of you to be happy.
Many couples, Gabriel and myself included, struggle with this issue. But just because you’re on a holiday as a couple, it doesn’t mean you have to be together all the time.
None of you needs to give up on your individual preferences, you can just spend some time apart instead.
For example: if one of you wants to chill by the hotel pool, and the other one is so sunburned, that the only thing he or she can do is lie flat under the air conditioner pleading for the pain to pass, spend a few hours apart.
There’s no need to be glued to the hip at all times.Give yourselves that freedom.
Needing to spend time apart might seem like a sign of a problem in your relationship. It might make you think: “Are we a good match?”, “What if we’re just too different?”.
Everybody has thoughts like that when they disagree about something important with their partner. So don’t let the doubt ruin your vacation.
All couples face this problem. There is no such thing as a “perfect match”. Even if you know couples who seemingly are in perfect harmony at all times, let me assure you, that’s not the whole picture.
Just because you need to spend time apart on a couples holiday doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with your relationship.
Tip 5: You And Your Partner Are More Important Than Your Vacation
Last but not least, the pressure to make the most of your couples holiday, can sometimes become too much and ruin your quality time.
Having a dedicated week or two for exploring a location can be a lot of pressure. You might want to make the most of it by jam-packing it with interesting things to do and force yourselves to strictly follow the initial plan because you don’t want to miss out!
Fear not, this is isn’t your last vacation. Keep in mind that if you love this particular place, you can always come back.
It’s ok to miss out on planned activities.
The museum just closed, the ticket queue is too long or one of you is be too tired to go sightseeing, hiking or surfing. That’s ok, you can always do that thing you were planning on doing next time.
This happened to Gabriel and myself countless times.
During one of our road trips we drove to Venice, I really wanted to see the Architecture Biennale. Unfortunately, we completely lost track of time and arrived in Venice on a Monday thinking that it was a Sunday. The exhibition was closed (all museums in Venice are closed on Mondays).
I was quite devastated, so we bought a bottle of wine to drown my sorrow away. We ended up having a lovely walk around and the most romantic evening. Even though I didn’t get to what I planned to go to Venice for, it ended up being absolutely magical and fun.
So don’t let silly opening times ruin your couples holiday. Find a lovely restaurant, Get To Know Your Man Better with a couple of questions and take in the vistas. There are countless ways to make a vacation special. Don’t get too attached to your schedules. Main tourist attractions are often overrated anyway.
The goal of a summer holiday is to make you and your partner feel good. This vacation is here for you, not the other way around.
If you found this article helpful, you might want to save it to Pinterest for later or share it on your preferred platform via the social media buttons below. It supports us in creating more exciting content for you!
Also, let me know what your struggle most with while on holiday as a couple and how you and your partner deal with it!
We always believed that relationships should be FUN and uplifting! And we were obsessed with finding real-world practical solutions for our relationship problems. Today we help others do the same with our blog.