Photo by Kyle Broad

No wonder you’re tired of begging for attention in your relationship, having to constantly beg your boyfriend or husband for any proof of love and care is absolutely exhausting!

Maybe you’re so frustrated with this situation, it makes you question if he cares about you at all….

Or worse yet, his absent-mindedness and rejection is already taking a toll on your confidence and making you feel like perhaps you’re the one who is doing something wrong.

Regardless of what your situation is exactly, know that you’re not alone with this!

I, too, used to have a really hard time getting the attention I wanted and needed from my boyfriend, friends or even my family.

And first off, I want to reassure you: there is a way out of this!

You can break out of this vicious cycle of having to constantly beg for attention and never actually getting enough of it.

In this post, let’s talk about why we feel like we have to beg for attention and how to fix it.

Why Do I Have to Beg for Attention

If you’re feeling tired of having to beg for attention the whole time, you’re likely also lost as to how it’s come to this.

That’s why I’ll start off explaining what is going on in relationships that face this very problem.

The direct reason you feel like you have to beg for attention, is because you’ve been unsuccessfully trying to get it for a while now and feel like begging for it is all you have left!

In other words, your partner isn’t giving you the attention you need.

But why is it sometimes SO HARD to get enough love and care from your significant other?!

The answer to this question is likely not what you’d expect.

There are two main factors that cause people to become so desperate that they resort to begging for attention in a relationship:

1. Your Partner Is Blind to Your Needs

Yes, that’s right. It’s not that he doesn’t care about you.

It’s very likely that he simply doesn’t understand the things you’re needing from him.

For example, I wanted to feel like I’m more important to my boyfriend than his job, and that was a bit of an alien concept to him.

I had to explain it for a long time and in great detail for him to be able to get what I was needing from him and why.

Which brings me to the second big factor that is likely contributing to you feeling tired of having to beg for his attention…

2. You Might Not Be Communicating Your Needs in a Way He Can Understand

When we’re in a romantic relationship, we often feel so close to our boyfriend or husband, we tend to assume that they know what we’re thinking.

These kinds of assumptions could not be further from the truth!

Unfortunately, loving each other doesn’t mean you can read each other’s mind.

To make matters worse, us women typically just hint at what we want in the hopes that our boyfriend or husband will catch on…

…and when he doesn’t, we jump to conclusions, get upset and feel like we have to start begging for things.

The thing is, sending subtle hints and expecting your partner to read your mind are both extremely ineffective at actually getting what you want from him.

So, the second big reason why you’ve been forced to beg for his attention, could be that you don’t yet know how to ask for it in a way your partner can understand and respect.

This brings me to my next point:

Is It Okay to Ask For Attention in a Relationship?

I used to resort to the hinting technique in the past too.

I did it because I believed that straight-up asking for what I wanted would make me seem desperate or needy.

In reality, the opposite is true.

It’s leaving hints and subtle messages, that leads to us eventually having to beg for attention.

Which definitely makes us look desperate and needy!

So yes, it’s okay to ask for attention in a relationship!

In fact, it’s more than ok, it’s what can give you the best chances at actually getting attention!

How to Stop Begging for Attention

Now that you know why you had to beg for his attention and that it’s okay to simply ask for it, we can finally get to the most important part of this article.

Here, I’ll cover strategies you can use to break your patterns and actually get your boyfriend or husband to give you what you need:

1. Know That Your Needs Matter

The fact that you’ve been forced to beg for attention, likely made you doubt yourself and feel like maybe you’re asking too much.

In order to break out of this hurtful situation, you need to discard these kinds of doubts.

Everybody needs and deserves attention.

Knowing that your needs matter, are justified and important will make it much easier for you to stop begging and start communicating things instead.

2. Ask For What You Want

Now that you remember that your need for attention matters and is justified, there is nothing standing in your way to simply ask for what you want.

Don’t expect your boyfriend or husband to read your mind or get your hints.

Be as clear and straightforward as you can instead.

Explain things and repeat yourself if needs be. Try to get him to listen and understand what you’re wanting and why you’re wanting it.

3. Prepare for His Resistance

It is unfortunate, but don’t expect things to go smoothly at first.

Trying to communicate a need to your boyfriend or husband, who might be entirely blind to them, is not going to be easy.

He is likely going to be defensive when you start telling him how you feel.

Don’t let his attitude silence you again. You deserve to get what you want from him.

4. Set Boundaries if He Discards or Ignores Your Needs

What’s even worse than him being defensive about you wanting his attention, is him discarding your needs and making you feel like you’re being unreasonable.

Don’t let him get away with it.

Set boundaries when necessary and make him experience that his choices have consequences.

5. Stay Strong and Don’t Give Up

Stopping yourself from begging for love is not going to happen from one day onto the next.

It’s more of a process rather than a sudden change.

Keep trying, celebrate every little victory and most importantly, don’t give up!

Stopping to beg for love and attention is not easy. It’s not something I would have never managed all by myself…

But there are many resources out there that can help you become better and better at asking and insisting on what you want.

If you’re looking for more in depth information on how to get more of what you want from your partner, be sure to check out our online course: Rebuild Your Relationship

My boyfriend, Gabriel and I worked on it together. In it,  you’ll find all the tools I actually personally used in our relationship to get his attention.

You’ll learn what to say and how to say it, in a way that will finally get you the love and care you crave from him.

We’ll also give you a step-by-step guide on how to set boundaries in case he keeps on ignoring or discarding your needs.

If you’d like to learn more about our course, you can click here to check out Rebuild Your Relationship.

I hope you now have a better understanding of why you’ve been begging for attention and know what to do, to stop it in your relationship.

If you have any questions about this post or about our course, leave me a comment, and I’ll get back to you.

In case you’re looking for more tips on how to get him to take you seriously, you might want to check out our other article: 4 Steps to Make Him Worry About Losing You


Karolina Bartnik