Maybe you can’t quite put your finger on why, but something about her hasn’t been quite right lately…
She’s been acting differently, and your gut is telling you can’t trust her anymore.
Now, I’m sorry that it’s come to this in your marriage. I am a married man too and if I suspected my wife cheated on me, I would be utterly devastated.
It is one of the worst breaches of trust.
And you are not alone in this, some of our male clients come to us with the same concerns.
But in order to know for sure, let’s go through the 10 tell-tale signs that your wife just slept with someone else and then talk about what you should do next.
10 Signs Your Wife Just Slept With Someone Else
1. She Doesn’t Answer Her Phone When You’re Around
Where she would normally immediately pick up her phone upon receiving a notification, she now LEAVES her phone if you’re around.
Whether it’s a call or a message, she will “Get it later.” So that you don’t see who is trying to reach her.
This sign is especially true if she was previously more transparent and checked her notifications, whether you were close by or not.
2. You Notice a Change in Her Schedule and Rhythm
We are creatures of habit, and tend to fall into routines to simplify our day-to-day lives.
This leads to a certain rhythm in our schedule, that you will likely also have as a married couple.
So, another way for you to know if she is sleeping with someone else is when that rhythm is suddenly broken WITHOUT justification.
She just inexplicably leaves earlier or comes back later than habitually and seems to be all over the show, like she’s trying to juggle more than she can handle.
It’s as though there’s an ADDITIONAL someone in your schedule that she’s not telling you about…
3. You Can’t Reach Her for Hours
If you’ve had the repeated experience of continuously trying to reach your wife, and she just won’t answer, you have legitimate ground to suspect her.
Because when I call my wife more than once in succession, she concludes something important just happened and gets back to me ASAP!
“What happened? Is everything okay??”
Even if your wife is at work, if you’re insistently trying to reach her, she would know it’s critical. Any caring wife would respond as soon as possible.
And if she does suddenly respond, check if her voice sounds a little hoarse, as though she just slept with someone else.
4. Your Wife Is Resistant to Planning Your Future
Long-term relationships are tough. But if you used to make plans and your wife is now reluctant to, it can be because there is a new man in her life.
Has she been putting off some of these decisions for shared responsibilities?
She doesn’t want to plan the weekend with you
She’d rather you canceled the vacation
She doesn’t want to co-sign that contract
She’s just changed her mind about getting that car
And other shared responsibilities…
Then you can be even more certain that your wife likely slept with someone else, especially if she’s particular about not avoiding a shared financial future.
It’s unfortunate, but maybe she is gradually untangling herself in case she wants someone else now.
5. She Has Hours in Her Day Unaccounted For
You ask her, “What did you do today?”
“Oh, just work and you know…”
“And after work?”
“Oh nothing special, just things… you know, I had to stay longer, and run errands.”
When your wife avoids your questions and has hours unaccounted for, but she needs to make up lies on the spot, it is a potential sign she slept with someone else.
Any honest wife would know what she did when and wouldn’t hesitate to give you straight answers.
If you think she’s lying to you and hiding something, you can likely trust your gut.
6. Your Wife Is Unusually Tidy and Hygienic
When she insists on doing all the laundry and showers the moment she comes home without even giving you a kiss, that should be reason for suspicion…
You are a married couple after all, surely she’s been comfortable around you even when she’s not at her cleanest.
Why the sudden change…?
These kinds of extreme hygienic standards can be a sign that your wife just slept with someone else and is cleaning up after herself to leave no trace of evidence.
When I was initially dating my wife (then girlfriend) she put a lot of effort into her appearance, she put her best foot forward to attract me -as did I.
But as the years went on, and we became comfortable with each other, she relaxed and allowed herself the freedom to not spend an hour or two getting ready.
In the same way, I’m sure in your marriage your wife relaxed her standards over time.
So if she is suddenly changing that by wearing nice outfits and diligently applying her makeup without reason, it can be a sign she’s sleeping with someone else.
8. You Catch Her Lying to You
Some people are incredibly honest and forthright.
Others are not.
If you catch your wife lying to you, especially repeatedly, it’s a sign of a guilty wife, and you have a good reason to suspect she’s slept with someone else.
Telling the TRUTH requires much LESS EFFORT than telling a lie, because you don’t have to think and fabricate a fiction.
She could just tell it as it is, unless she has something to HIDE…
The only exception to this, is if she’s trying to surprise you for say your birthday and has planned something elaborate.
9. She Becomes Defensive When You Confront Her
When someone has nothing to hide, they are unlikely to become defensive.
So if you have confronted your wife about your suspicions of her sleeping with someone else, and she has become defensive and maybe even turned it around and accused YOU of cheating, that should definitely raise your suspicion further.
She shouldn’t have any reason to escalate the situation, if anything she ought to reassure you and avoid a fight at all costs.
10. Your Sex Life Has Changed
Another way you can tell if your wife slept with another man is if you’ve noticed changes in your sex life.
(And I don’t mean the regular changes regarding her cycle or a potential infection.)
I mean that up till recently your sex life was predictable to you, you knew when, if and how things were likely to unfold between you two.
But now suddenly something is DIFFERENT, without reason.
She’s likely even less interested in having sex, or if you do have sex, she seems uneasy and different towards you.
How Can I Test My Wife’s Faithfulness?
If enough of the signs above have fit for you, and you are fairly certain that your wife has cheated on you, you might now want to test her faithfulness, here are a couple of ways you can do it.
I will preface this by saying NONE of these are pleasant to do, but if your relationship is on thin ice as it is, you might feel it appropriate.
Ask Her to Send Her Current Location
During the time you suspect her to be with someone else, text her and once she responds, ask her to send you her CURRENT location.
If she says she doesn’t know how, copy and send these instructions to help her…
iPhone: Open Messages App > Select your messaging conversation > Tap on the profile image (on the top middle of screen) > Tap ‘Send my current location’.
Android: Open Google Messages App > Select your messaging conversation > Tap the ‘+’ button near the text field > Tap ‘Location’ > Choose ‘Precise location’ > Send this location via SMS.
If she refuses or stalls, consider it further reason to suspect her.
She should be where she said she was going, otherwise you have your evidence she’s hiding something.
Check Her Phone & Find Out if She Has a Second One
And for some men this is understandably their final decision…
They cannot see themselves staying with someone who would lie to them and hurt them so profoundly.
2. You Try to Rebuild Your Marriage
Days or weeks after matters have cooled down a little and the truth is finally out, you might find yourself not so clear about separation anymore.
Starting from scratch is a lot of work, both emotionally and pragmatically, and some people decide that their marriage is worth trying to save.
If you choose the latter, what is critical here is that you do not simply get back together.
You need to address her issues and the issues in your marriage that led to this devastating event.
This is where coaching can be of great help with an expert outsider’s perspective.
So if you want to give your marriage another shot but want to make sure you’re building it on truth and trust so that an experience like this never happens again…
It’s never easy to break the silence after having some space and distance from each other. Plus, it’s vulnerable to have to be the one who makes the first move!
Maybe you’re worried it’s still too soon, or you’re questioning if you should even be the one to reach out to them at all.
On one hand, you probably don’t want to sabotage your chances by being needy and chasing your ex.
But on the other hand, you can sense that the clock is ticking and that the distance between the two just keeps on growing.
In this article you’ll find a complete guide, not only on what to text your ex after no contact, but also on when and how to start talking to them to reconnect and rekindle their interest.
Should I Write to My Ex After No Contact
Before giving you the examples of text you can send to your ex after no contact, I want to first answer a question a lot of you guys keep on asking:
Should you even reach out to your ex after no contact?
Or is it them, who needs to contact you first?
There is no one right answer here.
There are cases where you absolutely should reach out to your ex after no contact.
And other cases when, you really shouldn’t!
Generally speaking, if you’ve been chasing your ex a lot, had a hard time giving them space, you’ve been begging or convincing them to change their mind etc, then it’s probably better if you wait for them to reach out to you first.
But if you’ve played your cards close to your chest, stayed distant and guarded or if your ex was really upset during the break up, these are all situations where you should write to your ex after no contact.
What to Text Your Ex After No Contact
Now that you know if you should reach out to your ex or not, we can jump into the concrete examples of messages you can send to reconnect with them.
What to text to break the silence, depends on the circumstances on which you guys parted ways.
I’ll cover all the most common scenarios here, when to use which text and why.
1. If You’ve Been Waiting to Hear From Your Ex for Weeks
One of the most common situations why people decide to go no contact with their ex, is to get them to show you that they care and chase you for a change.
This approach works sometimes but a lot of the time, it doesn’t do anything.
I was angry and at my limit. I needed time before I was ready to talk to him again.
So I told him I needed space and didn’t contact him for a few weeks.
If this was the case for you, you too needed time to cool off after the breakup and went no contact with your ex, this is what you can text them to reconnect:
“Hey, I was really angry and hurt after our breakup. That’s why I was keeping my distance. But I’ve cooled off now. How about you?”
With this text you’ll be letting them know why you’ve been silent for so long and also playfully asking if they are angry with you too.
Being honest with them this way, will melt their heart and dissipate their anger.
This gives you good chances that they’ll actually reply and start a conversation with you.
4. If You’re Still Using Services They Pay For
So many of the services we use on a daily basis nowadays are subscriptions.
Whether it’s Spotify, Netflix, gym membership etc, couples often share their accounts out of convenience.
That’s why, when they break up, people often end up using services that their ex is still paying for.
If you’re in this situation and you’re looking for what to text your ex after no contact, consider sending them this:
“Hi, I’m still using your Netflix subscription. Are you cool with it, or would you prefer if I got my own?”
It is an easy and neutral conversation starter.
It gives you a great excuse as to why you’re reaching out to them. And if you play your cards right, it can result in a longer conversation.
The key here is to OFFER them something, rather than NEED something from your ex.
This kind of gesture is bound to make a good impression and they will most likely let you use their subscription anyway.
5. When the Connection Between You Is Fading
Doing no contact for a very long time (two months or more), can gradually lead to both of you growing apart. When this happens, there is really no point waiting.
Restarting the conversation after a long break needs to happen very slowly and gradually.
You really can’t know where your ex is and how they feel about you.
This is why, the best text to send your ex after a long time of not being in touch is a simple:
“Hey! How are things?”
It’s a very neutral and safe message, something a friend would text them.
With this kind of text, you can test where your ex is at and use that information to reconnect with them a little.
What to Do When Your Ex Doesn’t Respond
One of the biggest fears that make a lot of our coaching clients endlessly postpone texting their ex after no contact is:
“What if they don’t even write anything back?”.
Yes, texting your ex first after no contact is a risk.
They might not reply to you at all.
This is why it’s important that you really evaluate your situation and choose the text that can maximise your chances of getting through to them.
Still, if you’re only met with silence, keep in mind, no response to your text after no contact, is in fact a response.
There is no point staying stuck in uncertainty, overthinking and hoping for things that might never happen!
As hard as it might be to come to terms with where your ex is truly at, you’ll have to do it sooner or later.
Plus, the longer you wait, the more you drift apart and the slimmer your chances of getting back together become.
How Do You Start Talking To Your Ex After No Contact?
Now that you know the examples of messages you could send to your ex and the biggest risk of reaching out to them, I want to explain more how the process of successfully reconnecting after no contact actually looks like.
A lot of people make the mistake of trying to jump the gun here.
After reaching out they almost immediately start telling their ex that they fixed the issues they complained about, hoping that they can then convince them to get back together right away.
Unfortunately, approaching your ex this way will only end in further rejection.
Reconnecting after no contact is a GRADUAL and a SLOW process.
Your aim here should be to go from no contact, to occasional contact, to texting regularly, then meeting once, meeting again etc.
Once you’ve reestablished communication and are seeing each other on a regular basis, only then will your ex even consider thinking about potentially getting back together with you!
If you need more help navigating this tricky process, I can guide you through this in a coaching call.
Here you can tell me your exact situation and together we’ll formulate a perfect text to send to your ex after no contact.
I’ll also give you tips on how to approach them, to make them want you again.
So you went through a painful breakup and now to make matters more confusing your ex wants to be friends…
Which leaves you wondering, “But WHY do they want to be friends?”
What are their intentions, and what do they really want with you?
Things are difficult enough as they are for you after the breakup, and maybe you’re not sure if you want to get tangled up in a potential mess with your ex.
Or…
You’re hopeful that their desire for friendship is a hidden desire for reconciliation, and that maybe you’ll get back together.
In this post, we’ll get to the bottom of it all and answer:
The biggest reasons why your ex wants to be friends
What you should do if your ex wants to be friends
Related questions you guys asked
Beginning with…
Why Would My Ex Want to Remain Friends – 10 Reasons
There are a multitude of reasons why your ex can want to remain friends.
I’ve listed all the most important ones that you will want to watch out for here.
Be warned, some of these might be a little hurtful.
But it’s critical to be prepared to prevent them from potentially hurting you further!
You will have to be the judge of the character of your ex and know which reasons are a clear fit for their personal traits.
As well as which reasons to remain friends, you know they would definitely never do.
1. They Want to Keep You as Backup
Speaking of hurtful reasons why your ex might want to be friends, this is one of them.
If they are already in the dating pool again, but are keeping in touch with you on a friendship basis…
It might be because they want to keep you as a potential backup in case things DON’T work out with someone new.
That’s not fair to you!
When your ex is treating you like this, it’s a clear sign they don’t take you seriously, and you should move on.
2. They Aren’t Certain About the Breakup Decision
There are many factors that lead to a breakup.
Which is why it is often difficult to pinpoint exactly what led to it.
And because of this ambiguity, the decision to break up is typically made out of sheer emotional desperation.
For the fights and pain to stop…
So it makes sense that sometimes an ex isn’t certain about the breakup.
Once the dust settles, they might find themselves longing to see you again.
This can also be a reason why your ex wants to be friends with you.
3. Your Ex Is in Denial of the Breakup
When the dumper feels in control, and believes that they can get you back at any point if they so chose to…
They can typically be in denial of a breakup.
To them, it’s just a way of creating some distance and figuring out what they want.
Not that that makes it any easier on your heart.
This is a fairly common reason why an ex will want to be friends.
4. Your Ex Wants to Keep the Peace
If you and your ex share social circles or a workplace, they will likely try harder to keep the peace with you.
Since they will still be seeing you on a regular basis, and they want to avoid things being too awkward moving forward.
For this reason, they might make an additional effort to smooth things out and remain friends.
5. Your Ex Wants to Be ‘Friends With Benefits’
It’s never easy to let go of someone.
And sometimes an ex might no longer want to be in a relationship with you…
BUT still want to experience the comfort of intimacy with you.
As hurtful as it may be, it is a common pattern we see in our coaching clients’ stories who then do get back together with their ex!
6. They Don’t Know What They Want Right Now
Maybe your ex is confused and lost.
They might even tell you that they don’t know what they want. That they need to figure their lives out for themselves without the constraints of a relationship.
But if your ex still wants to be friends with you, there’s a good chance they are doubtful they will find the answers they seek…
And they’ll want to fall back on you when they realize they STILL don’t know what they want, despite the absence of your relationship.
7. They Want to Absolve Themselves of Any Guilt
Dumpers often feel guilty when they break up with their partner.
After all, they have spent a lot of time with you, got to know you as a person and must care for you.
If both you and your ex want to be friends, because you mutually agree that you don’t work as a couple but would make great friends, then it’s settled.
But if things are more complicated, and you want your ex back as a partner, you will need a rather different approach…
Evaluate What They Really Want
The reasons why your ex would want to remain friends with you, that I listed above, hopefully gave you some clarity as to what they really want with you.
Now, if they are adamant about really wanting a friendship and nothing but a friendship, you’ll have to reconcile with that.
However, if you’ve concluded that they are unclear themselves or somewhere in between, there are other avenues you can try.
But first…
Don’t Fear the Friend Zone
Most of our coaching clients fear that agreeing to become friends with your ex means that they’ll stop seeing you as a potential partner and you’ll be stuck in the friendzone with them forever.
This is one thing that you really don’t need to worry about.
Someone who has been attracted to you once, will always view you through that lens.
The chemistry that was between you, won’t vanish for many months to come.
Ask for Space if You’re Too Hurt About This
When your ex asks you to become friends, it can feel like they are rejecting you all over again. “Why would they ever suggest it? Clearly, it must mean they are completely over me already”
It’s not so simple. You likely don’t know what their true reasons and motives are just yet.
When this is the case, the best thing to do is to ask them for space, so that you can have some time to recover and evaluate it more.
You Can Agree to Be Friends Just to Test Them
If you’re comfortable with this, you can agree to be “just friends” with your ex for the time being.
Their intentions will likely become clearer to you in time. If they still have feeling for you, they’ll most likely start flirting and make a move.
And if they’re over you, then they likely won’t put much effort into keeping in touch and you’ll have your answer.
Get Yourself Back in the Dating Pool
If you are the person who has been broken up with, I recommend getting yourself back in the dating pool or at least going out to meet others.
It DOESN’T have to be anything serious.
But the reason it is important is that once your ex catches wind of this…
They will wake up to the fact that you are not waiting around and that if they want you back, they better make a move SOON!
Don’t Let Your Ex Leave You Hanging in Emotional Limbo
If your ex is continuously giving you vague statements to keep you in their sphere of control, cut it short.
It’s potentially a case of ‘Can’t be with you, can’t be without you.’
Again, though, you need to challenge them on what they actually want.
Don’t let them manipulate you by leaving you hanging in eternal emotional limbo.
Here I’m answering additional questions you guys have asked to clarify things further.
If there’s anything I’ve missed, just let me know in the comment section, and I’ll get back to you!
Can you be friends with your ex and get back together?
Yes, you absolutely can be friends with your ex and get back together.
It is fairly common amongst couples to temporarily become friends and then get back together.
But this stage of friendship should not last longer than a month or two, before the decision to get back together is made.
Is it healthy to keep in touch with an ex?
If keeping in touch with your ex is not detrimental to your emotional or mental health, that’s perfectly fine.
But if it’s heart-wrenching and the space between you two is killing you, it is NOT healthy.
You might need to consider distancing yourself for your own well-being.
Why shouldn’t you be friends with your ex?
There are of course reasons that you should NOT be friends with your ex.
If they are using you as an emotional blanket or for financial and social benefits, you’ll likely want to cut ties with them.
Also, if staying friends with them, it’s just breaking your heart and causing you nothing but grief and pain, we should stop seeing them.
You don’t deserve to suffer or be strung along.
Instead, take some time for yourself and figure out what you want and how you feel about things.
Taking physical distance from your ex can help with that.
Should you be friends with your ex if you want them back?
Generally speaking, yes.
You see, exes often remain friends as an informal re-evaluation period.
It’s a way of adding time within which one or both parties can safely evaluate whether they want to be with each other.
But as mentioned there are many factors and things aren’t always so clear.
If you want some clarity with the situation with your ex, you should check out our one-on-one coaching calls.
Here will be able to take the time to figure out exactly what it is your ex wants and based on that create a strategy to get them back. (If that is what you want, of course)
They are clearly emotionally attached, despite what divides you.
So, if your ex reacted this way, or you know they’re still sad today, take it as a sign they will want you back.
3. They Like Your Social Media Posts
Why would you engage with someone’s social media, if you didn’t miss them?
That’s right, you wouldn’t!
So if your ex is liking your Instagram posts, engaging with your Facebook activity or reacting to your online presence in any other way shape or form…
You can be sure that their heart yearns for you, and that they want you back.
4. You Keep in Touch With Each Other
This is an important one.
If dumper and dumpy keep in touch with each other (Especially if it’s on a daily basis) there’s definitely more going on than a simple friendly exchange.
Whether it’s superficial chitchat or sharing more vulnerable sentiments, you can be sure that your ex misses and wants you back.
5. They Want to See You
Is your ex talking to you like this?
“I want to see you.”
“Let’s do something together.”
“We should talk in person.”
“This would be easier if we met.”
This is definitely NOT the way a dumper who wants to get over his ex talks to them.
This is them giving you lots of mixed messages because they obviously want you back.
6. They Reminisce Fond Memories With You
Emotions during and after a breakup can run rampant.
But after the dust has settled, a dumper often finds themselves thinking about all the good things about you and your relationship.
So if your ex is fondly reminiscing your shared memories with you, take it as a clear sign that they want to relieve them…
And they’ll need YOU BACK for that!
7. They Want to Do You Favors
It’s almost as though you were back to dating.
Your ex wants to prove themselves useful to you and is happy to do you favors.
They will obviously dismiss it as “Oh, it’s nothing.” and “What are friends for?”
But do not fall for their deflections.
When a dumper takes time to help you out, it’s a sign they miss you and want you back.
8. You Catch Wind They’re Asking About You
If your friends, your mutual friends or any other little birdie, are telling you that your ex is asking about you…
At this point, your ex is definitely laying it on pretty thick, and you don’t need to have any more doubts.
Your intimacy was a powerful way of bonding…
And your ex is clearly having severe withdrawal symptoms and coming back to you.
This is the MOST definite sign a dumper misses you and wants you back.
No matter what they say.
And if they claim it’s ‘Friends with benefits’ or that it means nothing, they’re not just lying to you, they’re lying to themselves as well.
How Long Does It Take for an Ex to Miss You
Depending on the severity of your conflicts before the breakup and duration of your relationship…
You can expect it to take as long as 1–3 weeks for an ex to miss you.
The more intense and emotional your break-up was, the longer it might take for their anger and hurt to fade enough, for them to be able to get in touch with their other feelings.
This is why in more extreme cases, dumpers might come back after months instead of weeks.
There are more effective ways of making your ex regret leaving you.
One of them is making them see that breaking up was actually a terrible mistake.
But not by convincing them of how great you are together and how wonderful things were.
No, instead you need to demonstrate that you can actually give them everything they want, if only they let you…
This will tempt them and draw them back in.
Since you are both familiar with each other and have established patterns, they will easily slip back into your arms to receive what they desperately long for.
You can learn more on how exactly to do this in our Ex Back Program.
Here you’ll get an easy to understand 5-Step Program. Where you will learn which behaviors you’ll definitely need to stop (to not ruin your chances) and what you need to start doing instead to make your ex regret leaving you.
We will show you the sure fire ways to use this window of opportunity and make your ex want you back.
It’s not easy to recognize the signs that he doesn’t love you anymore.
Facing the truth that your boyfriend or husband doesn’t care about you as much as he once did, can be heartbreaking.
Maybe you feel betrayed and disappointed: “How could he give up so easily?!”
Or you blame yourself and wonder why, despite all your efforts, it’s just never enough for him.
It’s painful to know when the love is gone in a relationship.
However, coming to terms with it, is the first step in doing something about it.
So give yourself a pat on the back for being willing to face this difficult truth and keep in mind, what might feel like a seemingly hopeless situation can actually change.
You can get your boyfriend or husband to care and chase you again.
You just need to know how to do it!
In this article, I’ll list the signs that he doesn’t love you anymore and explain what you can do to reignite the spark, get him to step up his game and fight for you again.
1. He Makes Less Effort
The number one sign how you can know that he doesn’t care anymore is when he almost stops putting in any effort into making the relationship work.
This might mean many things, here are some examples:
He might stop checking in with you
He doesn’t call or text you
He will not arrange to go out anymore
He will not dress up or try to impress you
He might even put on weight and let himself go
He doesn’t make any efforts to make you happy
He doesn’t want to help you
He refuses to do what you ask him for
He doesn’t listen to you
What makes these signs so hard to accept is that it’s truly upsetting to see how little he actually cares.
Another sad sign that he doesn’t love you anymore is when your boyfriend or husband is guarded and distant.
It’s similar to the previous one, just that in this case it’s less about him being there for you emotionally and more about how unwilling he is to let you in.
These are the examples of when a man becomes distant and guarded:
He doesn’t show vulnerability
He is emotionally detached
He never cries in front of you
You don’t know what he is feeling
The only emotions he ever displays are resentment and anger
You don’t know what he cares about, or if he even cares about anything at all
He never shows or admits to weakness
He never shows that he cares about you or is afraid of losing you
He doesn’t want to connect emotionally
Being together with someone who doesn’t let you in anymore is very hard.
But you’ve learned to accept this new reality and live with it.
You might be baffled that your boyfriend or husband doesn’t love you but wants to stay together.
It’s frustrating to be stuck with him, when he is treating you this way.
Or you’re worried that things are hanging by a thread and expecting him to want to leave any moment now.
Either way, you can’t let this situation continue the way it is.
You’ve waited long enough for you to know that It will not resolve itself on its own.
You have two options here, you can either:
a) Call it quits: Tell him that you’ve had enough, you can’t continue living this way and are willing to walk away from him, if he doesn’t try to improve anything.
or
b) Try to mend things: This one is the safer bet. It’s less likely to actually end in a divorce or a breakup. However, it will require you to put in effort to stop your relationship from dying.
You’ll need to communicate with him and start fixing all the problems that were driving you apart.
My husband and I actually went through this very journey ourselves.
We, too, struggled in our relationship and almost lost each other because of all our problems.
But we managed to overcome them, and now we teach others how to do the same.
If you want structure and a step-by-step plan on how to fix your relationship, check out our online course: Rebuild Your Relationship
Here we teach why men fall out of love and what to do to reverse this process.
We will show you how to set boundaries to make it clear to him that he can’t continue treating you this way.
We’ll also give you tips on what to say and do to make him care more and become wild for you again.
You’re not sure you can take it anymore and are looking for signs you should stay away from someone.
Because deep down, you feel like they might be doing you MORE harm than good…
And you need to know for sure.
That’s what I’ll help you with today.
The predicament you’re in is a tough one to balance. Because on one hand, there is, or at the very least was, something that draws you to this someone in your life.
The flip side is, of course, that you’re not sure if they’re good for you.
Let’s talk about the most important signs you should stay away from someone followed by how to stay away from them.
When Should You Walk Away From Someone – 15 Signs
We’ll start with the milder signs and escalate all the way up to the –definitely stay away from them!– signs.
And the more signs fit for you, the clearer the message is that you should leave them.
1. You Can’t Be Yourself Around Them
It’s like the cliché you see in teenage dramas.
A character desperately wants to fit in with the popular crowd at school, so that they finally won’t feel like a nobody.
But the rite of passage requires them to sacrifice who they are to get with the in-crowd.
They reluctantly do it and once finally accepted in the new clique, they find themselves at the highest social-tier and…
Feel empty inside.
Because they eventually realize they’ve given up everything that they valued and enjoyed to be with these people that were supposed to make them happy.
But they were told to deny themselves if they wanted to be accepted.
Ironic, no?
So, if you feel as though you have to change who you are so things “work” between you two, that’s your first sign to stay away from them.
2. After Meeting Them, You Feel Worse
You might be excited to see them again, but once you actually meet and spend some time together, you just feel downright depressed.
They might be nihilistic or utterly given up on anything good or hopeful in life.
And you bear the brunt of it.
You’re sucked into their gloomy vortex, and by the time you finally manage to pull yourself out, you realize just how bad you actually feel.
If this is a repeated experience you have with them, consider it another sign you should stay away from them.
3. They Make You Feel Inferior
There are few things more reprehensible than someone building their sense of self-worth by making you feel inferior.
They’ll make “jokes” at your expense and take jabs at you to gradually break you.
It’ll instill harmful doubt in you…
Being exposed to this kind of treatment repeatedly will not do you any good and is definitely something you ought to minimize.
Because if you don’t, it’ll chip away at your self-esteem, making you feel undeserving.
When someone treats you this way, count it as another sign you should stay away from this person.
4. They Ignore Everything That Is You
Each of us is uniquely different.
This is what brings value to the world, our unique identities, traits and resulting character.
They are the things that make up YOU.
And when someone is not interested in you and keeps ignoring you, it’s a definite sign that you should stay away from them.
Being continuously ignored for who you are and only accepted for when you fulfill their expectations, will not end well for you.
Don’t let things escalate, you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
If setting boundaries is a challenge for you, start by doing them over text, then phone calls, and if necessary, then in person.
Confront Them
Sometimes you need closure.
And if that is the case for you, prepare yourself for a confrontation with them.
This can be over text or in person.
Here you will list all the wrong they have done towards you and tell them you will no longer be tolerating it.
It’s OVER.
This is generally a very big step for people, -your heart might be racing- but fear not.
You will feel ten times bigger after confronting them. No matter how they react, firmly stand your ground.
Cut Off Contact
If necessary, you can then cut off all contact.
Block them on your phone and social media, do not engage with them.
Depending on how long you knew someone, this will vary in difficulty.
You’ll be tempted to reach out to try to mend things “one last time”.
It’s important to keep in mind that you’ve already given them endless chances and that they didn’t appreciate that, they USED it.
I promise that after about a 3-month period it will become a lot easier.
If you’re having difficulty staying away from someone and need support, check out our one-on-one coaching calls.
We’ll listen to your story and help you make up your mind as to whether you should stay away from them or not.
We’ll also teach you how to set firm boundaries and build your confidence so that you feel more secure in navigating challenging relationship situations.
We always believed that relationships should be FUN and uplifting! And we were obsessed with finding real-world practical solutions for our relationship problems. Today we help others do the same with our blog.
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The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
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