Photo by Helena Lopes

When you go through a breakup, it can be difficult to notice the signs that your ex is becoming interested again.

Since there can understandably be a lot of emotional turmoil and confusion.

But as days and weeks pass, there will be subtle signals they give you that will let you know if your ex still has feelings for you.

The reason I can tell you this with confidence is because I was once that ex myself.

And I gave Karolina (my ex-girlfriend at the time, -now wife) signs that I was fighting my feelings for her.

And today I want to share what you need to look out for to know when your ex is NOT over you and is becoming interested again.

Let’s dive in.

How Do You Know if Your Ex Wants You Back but Won’t Admit It?

When people break up, it’s often messy and a lot of hurtful things might have been said.

So there is a lot of vulnerability and hesitation on both sides.

This is why it often takes longer for an ex to come back.

They may be stubborn, afraid, angry and even suspicious. And for these reasons will not want to be transparent about how they feel towards you.

What’s more, your ex may not even know themselves how they feel and whether they are willing to take the risk of trying to make things work again.

So there is likely a lot of internal conflict and uncertainty for them as well.

This is where it becomes important to look out for the signs that your ex is becoming interested again and maybe secretly wants you back..

Because even if they won’t admit that they want you back, if they truly do…

They will be giving you all sorts of signs that will let you know where their heart TRULY lies.

16 Signs to Know if Your Ex Is Interested in You Again

In order to know when your ex isn’t over you, you really need to look past what they are saying and instead observe their ACTIONS.

These actions and signs will help you determine whether your ex is interested in you again.

Because they are bound to give you all sorts of MIXED messages in their confused state!

So trust your instincts and look out for the following signs that your ex is becoming interested again.

1. They keep in touch with you

When people are serious about a breakup, they cut off ALL contact.

So, a definite and easy sign to tell that your ex is becoming interested again is that they KEEP in touch with you.

They will text you, they will call you, or even write you a lovely letter if they are feeling old school.

You might also experience that your contact is more easy-going and regular with them, than it had previously been.

2. They play it cool but are signaling interest

It’s rather unlikely that your ex is giving you very clear signs that they are becoming interested again.

(Hence the signs in this article.)

So expect them to play things cool and even pretend to be over you from time to time, while making various gestures and efforts to reconnect.

This will be a mixed bag and their behavior will likely fluctuate.

So check whether other signs fit from deciphering their messages and see if there is a silver lining.

3. They react to your social media posts

Is your ex reacting to your social media posts?

If yes, consider it a sign that your ex is becoming interested in you again.

No ex that is truly trying to get over you would engage with your posts, because that would simply be too hurtful for them.

So when they are liking or even sharing your social media posts, take it as another sign that your ex is becoming interested in you again.

4. Your ex gives you plenty of mixed messages

An old time classic is mixed messages.

When Karolina and I broke up, I was giving her plenty of mixed signals and would often contradict myself.

“We broke up and are no longer in a relationship, but do you wanna hang out and grab coffee together, just the TWO OF US?”

Yeah, it makes no sense.

Unless of course your ex is becoming interested again! 😉

So definitely expect this and know that they are also testing you.

5. They make an effort to impress you again

One of the clearest signs to look out for is that your ex will do and say whatever they need to, to make an impression on you.

It’s as though you were dating all over again, and they are prancing and dancing around you, showing off their best side to win you over.

Enjoy the show.

And if you’re feeling vengeful, let them sweat a little too.

6. They keep tabs on you

One of the reasons your ex will regularly be in touch with you, is because they want to ‘be in the know’ of what is happening in your life.

In particular, your LOVE LIFE.

Because they need to be sure that there are no potential rivaling candidates competing for your heart.

So if your ex is asking you “innocent questions” like:

  • How was your day?”
  • “What’s new?” or
  • “What have you been up to lately?”

Then know that your ex is keeping tabs on you and is becoming interested again.

7. Your ex wants to meet you

In addition, they will definitely make active efforts to see you in person.

This is another way of ensuring they can secure you for themselves and not lose you to anybody else on the market.

Because they want to ensure that the connection you share is still intact, and affirm (often covertly) that you still feel the same way towards them.

So if your ex keeps wanting to meet you in person, it is a sure fire sign that they are becoming interested again.

8. They still flirt with you and tease you

Even though your ex has broken up with you, if they are still flirting and teasing you, consider it a clear sign of the renewed interest.

Because friends don’t flirt with each other, lovers, and couples do!

And no matter how much your ex might deny it or play it down, don’t fall for their sneaky (often playful) tricks.

If it feels like they are flirting with you, then they are flirting with you.

Trust your gut on this one.

9. They get jealous when they see you with someone else

If your ex was truly over you, they would have no problems hearing that you are casually dating or seeing someone else…

So if you are hanging out with a friend, and that’s enough to set them on fire with jealousy:

  • “Who was that?”
  • “Are you seeing someone??”
  • “Is there something you want to tell me?!”

Then they are asking you questions that they have no right to be asking if they were truly over you.

So this is an easy to identify sign that your ex is becoming interested in you again.

10. They try to make you jealous

In the same way that they might become jealous of someone in your life, your ex might make active counter efforts to make you jealous.

Try not to be too upset about this!

Because what they’re actually trying to achieve, is to draw you back in and make you want them more.

This is also a clear sign that your ex is NOT ONLY becoming interested again, but also definitely wants you back.

11. They are not dating other people yet

Another certain way to tell your ex wants you back again is that they are not dating other people.

When two people break up, there is a delicate, unspoken duel that arises:

Who is going to move on FIRST?

Breakups are painful, yes, but when an ex moves on it can feel like a second and even more painful break up.

Because getting back together and undoing the hurt feels even less attainable.

So if your ex is making a point of NOT dating other people, then consider it a sign that they are still courting you.

And it’s also a way to know if a guy or a girl loves you but is scared.

12. You seem to be on better terms now than before the breakup

It’s ironic, though not uncommon, for ex-couples to get along better after a breakup.

Since you are no longer in your respective roles of partnership, a lot of the old expectations and rules no longer apply.

This leaves breathing room and brings a certain novelty back to your interactions that might have been previously missing or lost.

When you get along this way with your ex, it’s a sure sign they’re falling for you again.

13. You can feel your emotional connection

How do you tell if someone is hiding their feelings for you?

When someone cuts themselves off from you emotionally and stonewalls, that is something that you can clearly FEEL.

Because it’s excruciating.

If you can still feel an emotional connection with your ex, then that means that they are still letting you in and want to connect with you as well.

Take this connection as a clear sign your ex is becoming interested again.

14. Your ex tells you they love you

If your ex texts or tells you that they still love you, you’ve got a very clear sign for yourself right there!

It’s a vulnerable thing for them to express, and not something they would say if they were no longer interested in you.

If you want them back, be sure to not leave them hanging in a moment like this, and reciprocate in a way that feels true to you.

This will help you start rebuilding the trust.

15. They still want to touch you

Yes, this is one of the clearest signs your ex can give you that indicate they are becoming interested in you again.

Whether they are “accidentally” brushing your hand as you walk side-by-side, or they want to hold your cheek tenderly in their hand.

All of these gestures are clear indications of a rekindling connection

and interest from their side.

16. Your ex wants to sleep with you

I’ve saved the most obvious one for last, but it should come as no surprise.

If your ex wants to be in bed with you again, they are most definitely becoming interested in you again.

Sleeping with your ex is one of the fastest ways to get back together with them.

So if you two are interested in being intimate again, consider this a big step in giving your relationship another shot.

These are the most common signs to look out for that your ex is becoming interested again.

Don’t expect a perfect track record, breakups are messy and getting back together can be the same.

But a lot of the signs should hold true when your ex is wanting you again.

I hope your ex gives you the signs you are looking for and that things work out between you guys!

And if your ex is someone very special to you, and you want to ensure you get them back, definitely check out Ex Back Coaching.

SimplyTogether Coaching Calls

In a call, you can share your story, and we’ll piece clues together that you may have missed. After that, we’ll get to formulating a solid strategy to get your ex back for you.

We’ll give you tips on what to say and do, to get them to try harder and want to commit to you again.

Click here to check out Ex Back Coaching.

Thank you for reading and if you have any questions please leave them in the comment section.

You might also be interested in reading 6 Signs He Is Hurting After the Breakup and What It Means.



Gabriel Brenner