You’ve likely reached your limit with them.
It’s just too much at this point.
You’re not sure you can take it anymore and are looking for signs you should stay away from someone.
Because deep down, you feel like they might be doing you MORE harm than good…
And you need to know for sure.
That’s what I’ll help you with today.
The predicament you’re in is a tough one to balance. Because on one hand, there is, or at the very least was, something that draws you to this someone in your life.
The flip side is, of course, that you’re not sure if they’re good for you.
Let’s talk about the most important signs you should stay away from someone followed by how to stay away from them.
When Should You Walk Away From Someone – 15 Signs
We’ll start with the milder signs and escalate all the way up to the –definitely stay away from them!– signs.
And the more signs fit for you, the clearer the message is that you should leave them.
1. You Can’t Be Yourself Around Them
It’s like the cliché you see in teenage dramas.
A character desperately wants to fit in with the popular crowd at school, so that they finally won’t feel like a nobody.
But the rite of passage requires them to sacrifice who they are to get with the in-crowd.
They reluctantly do it and once finally accepted in the new clique, they find themselves at the highest social-tier and…
Feel empty inside.
Because they eventually realize they’ve given up everything that they valued and enjoyed to be with these people that were supposed to make them happy.
But they were told to deny themselves if they wanted to be accepted.
So, if you feel as though you have to change who you are so things “work” between you two, that’s your first sign to stay away from them.
2. After Meeting Them, You Feel Worse
You might be excited to see them again, but once you actually meet and spend some time together, you just feel downright depressed.
They might be nihilistic or utterly given up on anything good or hopeful in life.
And you bear the brunt of it.
You’re sucked into their gloomy vortex, and by the time you finally manage to pull yourself out, you realize just how bad you actually feel.
If this is a repeated experience you have with them, consider it another sign you should stay away from them.
3. They Make You Feel Inferior
There are few things more reprehensible than someone building their sense of self-worth by making you feel inferior.
They’ll make “jokes” at your expense and take jabs at you to gradually break you.
It’ll instill harmful doubt in you…
Being exposed to this kind of treatment repeatedly will not do you any good and is definitely something you ought to minimize.
Because if you don’t, it’ll chip away at your self-esteem, making you feel undeserving.
When someone treats you this way, count it as another sign you should stay away from this person.
4. They Ignore Everything That Is You
Each of us is uniquely different.
This is what brings value to the world, our unique identities, traits and resulting character.
They are the things that make up YOU.
And when someone is not interested in you and keeps ignoring you, it’s a definite sign that you should stay away from them.
Being continuously ignored for who you are and only accepted for when you fulfill their expectations, will not end well for you.
It might be time to stop caring about someone who doesn’t care about you.
5. You Only Meet, When and Where It Suits Them
You: “Wanna meet?”
Them: “Not today, I’m busy. Maybe next week.”
You: “Wanna meet?”
Them: no response
A few days later.
Them: “I’m doing this thing at this place, when are you coming?”
The world revolves around THEM and only them.
Whatever you need, or whatever plans you might have, will only be acknowledged when and if it suits them.
Otherwise, they will conveniently ignore you and only reach out when they need something from you again.
When someone is using you this way, you should not take them seriously, since they clearly can’t offer you the most basic courtesy.
You can safely STAY AWAY from someone like this.
6. Being With Them Is Exhausting
In some people’s company, you will feel comfortable and at ease. Maybe even rejuvenated afterwards.
But in others, you will feel UTTERLY exhausted and drained.
These types of people are generally extremely high maintenance and require tiptoeing around to not make them upset.
You’ll feel like you’re walking on eggshells with them at all times.
And by the end of it all, you’ll fall into bed crying of exhaustion, wondering why you even hang out with someone like this.
If this is how you experience this person on a regular basis, know that it is not healthy and is a sign you should stay away from them.
7. They Endlessly Take From You
Are they comfortable with endlessly taking from you and not returning anything?
Self-centered people like this exist, and they will happily take:
- Your time
- Your attention
- Your money
- Your body
Without giving any thought to what you might be needing.
Ask yourself how much you are willing to give, without receiving anything in return?
Because although it might not be fair to expect YOU in people, it is still crucial to strike a balance.
8. They Don’t Recall What You Tell Them
This is an all-time classic and another sign that you should stay away from someone.
Have you told them something that happened the other day, an event in your life or maybe you expressed a request…
Only for them to completely forget about it the next time you bring it up?
The first time you told them, they might actually have listened, even seemed understanding towards you.
But upon revisiting the moment, it is as though it NEVER HAPPENED.
This communicates that your experiences and needs don’t matter, and it’s definitely not a person you want to be around.
9. You Stoop to Their Level Around Them
Everybody has a right to live their lives as they see fit…
So long as they are not harming others in the process.
If you find yourself being dragged down and are saying or doing things that you yourself would not choose to do or don’t even value, let alone enjoy…
Then it’s time to walk away.
It’s better to acknowledge that your values DON’T ALIGN and that you have set yourself different standards in life.
If someone is involving you and things you do not wish to do, it is a sign you should stay away from them.
10. They Dismiss- And Cross Your Boundaries
If you’ve mustered the courage to set boundaries with someone, and they still dismiss and cross said boundary, don’t take it lightly.
We all have LIMITS.
And when you communicate those limits, they need to be respected.
Or at the very least acknowledged and honestly talked about.
When someone ignores your boundaries, it’s often a factor that leads to relationships failing.
Take it as another sign that you need to stay away from them.
11. They Have a Short Fuse With You
When someone is short-tempered with you…
They’ll shut you down every time you try to say something contrary to their narrative…
You’ll likely hardly need to open your mouth for them to get angry at you right away and tell you how whatever opinion you hold is invalid or stupid.
And that you should just shut up already.
If someone treats you this way, take it as a sign that you’re gonna wanna stay away from them.
12. They Are Isolating From Others
The mind is a tricky thing.
And it can sometimes miss when things are SLOWLY getting worse.
Especially when you start out with someone and everything initially seems great and happy.
But as you become more comfortable and enmeshed, they might abuse that trust and begin gradually isolating you from others…
Juuust slowly enough so you don’t catch on.
It is often in that isolation that things take a turn for the worse and relationships can become emotionally or physically abusive.
So if you are being isolated from the people that were previously in your life and someone is treating you worse…
It’s time to count another sign and get the hell OUT.
13. They Gaslight You
Yes, we are ramping things up now, and it is going to take a darker turn.
But these are some of the most IMPORTANT SIGNS that you should stay away from someone.
Since your well-being and maybe even safety are at stake when it gets this serious.
Gaslighting is a tricky one to notice, since its very purpose is to undermine your perception of reality.
In other words, someone who is gaslighting you will make you doubt your own emotions, thoughts, and memories in order to control you.
They might say:
- “That didn’t happen.”
- “You’re imagining things!”
- “Surely, you don’t feel that way..”
- “How can you be so sure?”
In order to instill doubt and uncertainty, after which they will tell you what you “actually” think and feel.
Time to make a RUN for it and stay away from this one.
14. They Are Abusive Towards You
When someone is emotionally, psychologically or physically abusive towards you, you know a relationship WON’T LAST.
And it’s a definite sign that you should stay away from them and that your relationship is likely over.
No matter how much you understand their pain and where their behavior is coming from, it does NOT justify abuse towards you.
People fight in relationships, but there are limits and boundaries that should not be crossed.
Keep a close eye out for this one and don’t let it slide.
15. You’re Afraid for Your Safety
Finally, if you are afraid for your own physical safety it is without question a sign that you should stay away from someone.
Nobody should be in a relationship or in contact with someone that makes them feel this way.
You have a RIGHT to your personal space and safety.
And nobody has the right to cross that line.
If they try to, you should immediately walk away from them and cut them off for good.
How Do You Know if You Should Get Out of a Relationship?
If many of the signs that I listed above fit for you (especially the ones towards the bottom) then you should definitely get out of your relationship.
You know it’s over when they’ve crossed too many of your boundaries, here are the red flags in a relationship to watch out for:
- They dismiss- and cross your boundaries
- They have a short fuse with you
- They are isolating from others
- They gaslight you
- They are abusive towards you
- You’re afraid for your safety
This is when you should STAY AWAY from someone you love.
Some of you have asked, and yes, with a lot of hard work, abusive relationships can be fixed.
But it takes BOTH parties to acknowledge and work through their issues equally.
A lot of change is required and boundaries need to be truly respected.
And in my experience it’s rare for people to truly change, so carefully evaluate whether it’s worth the risk.
How Do You Walk Away From Someone You Like?
Depending on the severity of your situation, you will need to adjust your approach, in order to walk away from someone you like.
It won’t be easy.
(Even more so, if you’re inclined to obsess- and need help to stop obsessing over someone.)
But I would recommend the following to help you along the way.
Start with the less intense and if needed work your way up to the more critical measures:
Tell Trusted People What’s Going On
Don’t be alone with this.
Especially if your situation is more severe and things are escalating.
Tell the people you trust in your life (friends, family, work colleagues) what is going on and that you intend to stay away from this person now.
This is to ensure that you have backup and emotional support, which will make this process easier for you.
Make Plans to Leave
Whatever connects you with them needs to be slowly disconnected, so that you can leave.
If you live together or share spaces in life, those need to be detached.
Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally, too.
And if your circumstances require it, make plans to leave secretly to avoid escalating things.
Gradually Distance Yourself
Slowly begin to remove yourself emotionally and then physically.
You can be less available and take your time responding to texts.
Stay busy and make plans with other people.
This will also help you emotionally detach from someone you love, transition out of the relationship and stay away from them.
And if you were living together, now is the time to move out.
Set Clear Boundaries
If they retaliate or threaten you, set clear boundaries with them.
Don’t let things escalate, you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
If setting boundaries is a challenge for you, start by doing them over text, then phone calls, and if necessary, then in person.
Sometimes you need closure.
And if that is the case for you, prepare yourself for a confrontation with them.
This can be over text or in person.
Here you will list all the wrong they have done towards you and tell them you will no longer be tolerating it.
This is generally a very big step for people, -your heart might be racing- but fear not.
You will feel ten times bigger after confronting them. No matter how they react, firmly stand your ground.
Cut Off Contact
If necessary, you can then cut off all contact.
Block them on your phone and social media, do not engage with them.
Depending on how long you knew someone, this will vary in difficulty.
You’ll be tempted to reach out to try to mend things “one last time”.
It’s important to keep in mind that you’ve already given them endless chances and that they didn’t appreciate that, they USED it.
I promise that after about a 3-month period it will become a lot easier.
If you’re having difficulty staying away from someone and need support, check out our one-on-one coaching calls.
We’ll listen to your story and help you make up your mind as to whether you should stay away from them or not.
We’ll also teach you how to set firm boundaries and build your confidence so that you feel more secure in navigating challenging relationship situations.
As always, thank you for reading, and you might want to check out: When Is Enough Enough? How to Know When to Give Up and Let Go.
If you’d like to share your story or have any questions, please leave them in the comments below.