So you have an inkling that they want you back.
Something about their behavior has made you wonder what your ex actually wants…
- “Are they actually serious about the breakup?”
- “Why are they giving me all these mixed messages, then?”
- “Do they miss me and want me back, or am I imagining it?”
Well, there is no better way to know than to look out for the subtle and sometimes rather obvious signs that a dumper wants you back.
The answer to all of these questions and more lies below.
How Do You Know if a Dumper Misses You & Wants You Back – 13 Signs
So to truly know if a dumper misses you, you’ll need to look out for the signs that follow.
The MORE of these signs fit, the greater the likelihood of them wanting you back.
Some of them will be more obvious than others to you
The most transparent ones being at the end of these signs.
1. They Haven’t Cut Contact With You
If a dumper really wants to get over you, they will block you everywhere and cut contact.
That’s how people move on.
They break ties and bonds, determined to move on and never look back.
So if they have NOT done so, it’s a sign that they still feel connected to you and want you back.
2. They Were Hurt After the Breakup
Breakups are often hard on both sides.
And when the dumper is hurt after the breakup, or even in tears about it, it sets a premise and decent chances of them wanting you back.
They are clearly emotionally attached, despite what divides you.
So, if your ex reacted this way, or you know they’re still sad today, take it as a sign they will want you back.
3. They Like Your Social Media Posts
Why would you engage with someone’s social media, if you didn’t miss them?
That’s right, you wouldn’t!
So if your ex is liking your Instagram posts, engaging with your Facebook activity or reacting to your online presence in any other way shape or form…
You can be sure that their heart yearns for you, and that they want you back.
4. You Keep in Touch With Each Other
This is an important one.
If dumper and dumpy keep in touch with each other (Especially if it’s on a daily basis) there’s definitely more going on than a simple friendly exchange.
Whether it’s superficial chitchat or sharing more vulnerable sentiments, you can be sure that your ex misses and wants you back.
5. They Want to See You
Is your ex talking to you like this?
- “I want to see you.”
- “Let’s do something together.”
- “We should talk in person.”
- “This would be easier if we met.”
This is definitely NOT the way a dumper who wants to get over his ex talks to them.
This is them giving you lots of mixed messages because they obviously want you back.
6. They Reminisce Fond Memories With You
Emotions during and after a breakup can run rampant.
But after the dust has settled, a dumper often finds themselves thinking about all the good things about you and your relationship.
So if your ex is fondly reminiscing your shared memories with you, take it as a clear sign that they want to relieve them…
And they’ll need YOU BACK for that!
7. They Want to Do You Favors
It’s almost as though you were back to dating.
Your ex wants to prove themselves useful to you and is happy to do you favors.
They will obviously dismiss it as “Oh, it’s nothing.” and “What are friends for?”
But do not fall for their deflections.
When a dumper takes time to help you out, it’s a sign they miss you and want you back.
8. You Catch Wind They’re Asking About You
If your friends, your mutual friends or any other little birdie, are telling you that your ex is asking about you…
It’s a clear sign of a dumper missing the dumpee.
They don’t want you to know that you are on their minds and that they secretly want you back.
But they need to ensure you’re not moving on just yet.
(Plus sometimes they DO actually want you to indirectly know that they’re asking about you.)
9. They Invite You to Social Events
What better way for a dumper to see the person they miss than inviting them to an event they know you are likely to show up to?
It’s a far more neutral setting than the two of you meeting alone, and reduces the pressure for both parties.
So if your ex invites you to events, do not take it as a simple courtesy.
It’s an excuse to talk to you and get you back.
10. They “Check In” to Make Sure You’re “Okay”
When a dumper just wants to, “Check in and make sure you’re OK”
What they are ACTUALLY say is:
“I’m just checking whether you are seeing anybody else because I don’t want you to.”
And guess why…?
That’s right. Because they want you back for themselves!
But you can play along if you need to, for now…
11. They Tell You They Miss You
No sign could be more literal than this one.
If the dumper tells you that they miss you. You can be sure as heck that they miss you and want you back.
And that your ex definitely regrets breaking up with you.
This is also a great window of opportunity to get your ex back! — Assuming that is what you want, of course.
12. They Flirt With You
We often explain to our clients that emotions don’t suddenly disappear after a breakup.
Which is why a dumper will regularly come back to flirt with their dumpee.
Old habits die hard.
And if your ex is flirting with you, take it as one of the most obvious signs that they want you back.
It’s certainly a sign I gave my ex-girlfriend (now-wife Karolina, who runs this blog with me.)
13. They Want to Sleep With You
At this point, your ex is definitely laying it on pretty thick, and you don’t need to have any more doubts.
Your intimacy was a powerful way of bonding…
And your ex is clearly having severe withdrawal symptoms and coming back to you.
This is the MOST definite sign a dumper misses you and wants you back.
No matter what they say.
And if they claim it’s ‘Friends with benefits’ or that it means nothing, they’re not just lying to you, they’re lying to themselves as well.
How Long Does It Take for an Ex to Miss You
Depending on the severity of your conflicts before the breakup and duration of your relationship…
You can expect it to take as long as 1–3 weeks for an ex to miss you.
The more intense and emotional your break-up was, the longer it might take for their anger and hurt to fade enough, for them to be able to get in touch with their other feelings.
This is why in more extreme cases, dumpers might come back after months instead of weeks.
And yet there are reasons you’ll still feel connected to them.
But, if your relationship was long term, you can expect him to miss you sooner.
How Do You Know if a Dumper Is Hurting
One way to know if a dumper is hurting is if they are showing the above-mentioned signs of wanting you back.
Because not being with the person you are attached to, hurts (Yes, especially after a breakup.)
Admittedly, breakups hit guys LATER sometimes.
They can be steeped in denial and a little oblivious to their own painful emotions.
And as for who gets hurt most after a breakup, it is unfortunately mostly the dumpee.
Because since the dumper is the one initiating the breakup, they tend to hold more power and control.
(They can withdraw the breakup, and you will likely want to come back.)
Will My Ex Forget About Me During No Contact?
Be careful with ‘no contact’ because it can easily backfire.
Think of it as a very sharp double-edged sword; wield it incorrectly, and you’ll cut yourself.
Since during no contact, the dumper is also feeling your withdrawal and is likely hurting from it.
So yes, your ex may forget about you during no contact, since you’re stonewalling them, they might respond in kind.
This is why we generally do not recommend it to our coaching clients who want to get their ex back.
Here’s a guide you’ll find useful: Cut Him Off, He Will Miss You, or Will He Just Move On?
How Do You Make Your Ex Regret Leaving You?
There are more effective ways of making your ex regret leaving you.
One of them is making them see that breaking up was actually a terrible mistake.
But not by convincing them of how great you are together and how wonderful things were.
No, instead you need to demonstrate that you can actually give them everything they want, if only they let you…
This will tempt them and draw them back in.
Since you are both familiar with each other and have established patterns, they will easily slip back into your arms to receive what they desperately long for.
You can learn more on how exactly to do this in our one-on-one Coaching Calls.
During a call you will learn which behaviors you will need to reduce (this will be less work for you) and what you need to start doing instead to make your ex regret leaving you.
We will show you the sure fire ways to make a dumper want you back.
While you’re here be sure to check out: 7 Signs Your Ex Is Testing You and How to Win Them Over.
Thanks for reading, let me know if you have any questions or thoughts you would like to share.
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