Being in a relationship that is falling apart can be extremely painful. When my relationship was falling apart I used to feel heartbroken and hurt almost every day.
Our constant fights and misunderstandings made me endlessly worry. I used to wonder
“Will this ever change?”, “Can we even make this work, or maybe we’re just simply not meant to be…”
My relationship with my partner Gabriel started out great, but things deteriorated over time.
After being together for a year and a half we have reached a point where we
fought almost all the time, we couldn’t enjoy each other’s company anymore, our spark was fading and we even broke up a couple of times.
I didn’t want to give up on our relationship though and eventually, we managed to COMPLETELY turn things around.
No matter how bad things are in your relationship right now,
it’s important to remember that there is always a way out.
You can fix your relationship even when it’s falling apart.
Here is how I did it:
1. Stop Expecting Things to Change on Their Own and Start Making Changes Yourself
This might sound obvious to some of you, but it wasn’t at all obvious to me back then and I think it’s a problem a lot of people have.
When my relationship started falling apart, in the first couple of months
I was simply HOPING that things will get back to normal on their own.
Initially, I was hoping that Gabriel would change his mind or attitude towards me, or that he would become more caring and attentive again, but I wasn’t DOING anything to make any of these changes happen.
I spent hours complaining about our issues to friends, and even read books and articles about relationship problems,
but I didn’t implement anything I’d learned.
I wasn’t making any active efforts to fix my relationship.
Back then, I used to be caught up in a belief that:
“If it’s meant to be, it will work out”.
Because of this I almost felt like I’m not supposed to make any active efforts to fix my relationship from falling apart.
Once I put that limiting belief into question and
started implementing new knowledge and actively changing my attitude, my relationship started gradually changing for the better.
One of the first big changes I made, that stopped my relationship from falling apart was:
2. Limit Attitudes and Behaviors That Are Damaging Your Relationship
We all come with our share of
emotional baggage and unhealthy attitudes.
There are countless ways in which women sabotage their relationships, make their men more distant or even drive them away.
Things like chasing him to do, be or feel certain things, punishing or dismissing your partner are common behaviors that a lot of us resort to ALMOST EVERY DAY.
I used to do all these things too.
I used to chase Gabriel to feel more grateful and appreciative of my efforts, I’d dismiss his complaints or even withdraw my love and become more distant to show him that he did something wrong.
The main reason why I resorted to all sorts of unhealthy tactics was that I simply didn’t know any better.
It was the only way I knew to try to get what I wanted from him.
And I know many women make the very same mistake.
The thing is, all of these behaviors have a TERRIBLE influence on a relationship.
In fact, they directly cause relationships to fall apart.
That’s why, in order to fix a relationship, it’s important to limit these damaging habits as much as you can.
3. Learn Healthy Ways to Try to Get What You Want or Need
The reason so many people resort to all sorts of unhealthy behaviors in their relationships is that
they think it’s the ONLY way to get what they want or need from their partner.
But in reality, this is not the case.
There are COUNTLESS ways and approaches that can get your partner to give you what you want or need without damaging your relationship in the process.
One of the most important skills that can fix a relationship is
learning how to communicate better.
This includes learning how to say things in a way that will him listen.
As well as discovering how to listen in a way that can make your partner feel heard and understood.
When you can communicate openly in your relationship, you don’t have to silently hope that he will figure out what you’re needing and give it to you.
You can simply ask for things!
This way you’re much less likely to fight over countless little misunderstandings and you’re also much more likely to get MORE of what you want.
Improving communication was definitely a big stepping stone that helped me fix my relationship and stopped it from falling apart.
But there were many other skills I picked up that allowed me to quickly turn things around.
4. Set Boundaries to Prevent Your Partner’s Unhealthy Behaviors and Habits
In most cases, it’s not enough to just limit your own damaging habits and attitudes.
Because it takes two people to bring a relationship to the brink of falling apart.
Your partner has likely their own ways in which they damage and sabotage the relationship.
That’s why learning when and how to set boundaries is a crucial step when it comes to fixing things.
In my relationship, there were countless occasions that required me to set boundaries with Gabriel and also where he had to set boundaries with me.
We would often say or do hurtful things without fully realizing their negative effects.
In these kinds of situations, boundaries can act as a shield, protecting you and your relationship from potential damage.
They are absolutely necessary in order to fix a relationship when it’s falling apart.
And they also have other positive side effects.
Setting boundaries might initially be met with some resistance, but when you manage to persist and stand your ground, they’re bound to invoke deeper levels of respect from your partner.
They can actually make you feel more connected and bring you two closer.
It’s also important to mention that when your relationship has reached this point of falling apart, there’s often a lot of hurt and broken trust that happens along the way.
And in order to truly mend your relationship, it’s vital to not overlook the need
to rebuild the trust that was lost between the two of you.
That way you’re starting again with a more solid foundation.
Now, fixing a relationship when it’s falling apart is definitely a challenge.
There might be moments where you’ll feel hopeless and be on the verge of giving up.
One big thing that I’ve learned from when we were struggling in our relationship was
to not underestimate small changes.
There are countless ways in which you can turn things around.
It doesn’t matter what method you choose to implement or how much of it you even implement.
Every effort counts.
Even the tiniest of changes can make a world of difference.
If you’re interested in having more support and a step by step method on how to fix your relationship from falling apart, be sure to check out our
course. Rebuild Your Relationship
In it we cover and teach the most important tools you need to stop things from further falling apart in your relationship. And more importantly you’ll learn how to rebuild things with solid foundations that will allow you to restore the love and attraction again.
Click here to check out Rebuild Your Relationship
If you have any questions about any of the points mentioned above or about our challenge, please leave a comment below.
Photo by Jonathan Borba
I grew up dreaming of finding my one and only TRUE LOVE and living happily ever after.
Unfortunately, my reality had very little in common with the fairy tales.
It took a lot more than just finding “The One” to build a strong and happy relationship.
Gabriel and I had gone through a LOT of trial and error before we figured out what was working and what wasn’t.
In doing so,
we realized that some habits we built contributed significantly to our happiness.
This article covers, the top 5 habits that can help you find your happiness too!
Habit #1 | Talking to Each Other a Lot Improves Communication in Relationships
Communication is an extremely important factor for happy couples.
It’s a skill that we think all couples should prioritize.
I know from my own experience that
learning to get through to each other can be very tricky.
But when it comes to communication in relationships (much like with many other skills) practice makes perfect.
And the good news is…
The best and most straightforward way to practice communicating is to simply keep talking to each other.
When this is a consistent habit, you will spend LESS TIME fighting and more being happy together!
Habit #2 | Treating Each Other as a Priority Makes People Feel Closer
A big part of feeling loved is feeling important.
Nobody likes to be dismissed and treated like they’re secondary.
happy couples make an effort to consider each other and the relationship a PRIORITY.
This means putting each other’s needs FIRST.
And seeing obligations related to work, friends or even family as SECONDARY.
Having this habit will make you feel more connected and stable in your relationship. Habit #3 | Making an Effort Prevents Taking Each Other for Granted
In the early stages of dating, people often make a continuous effort to impress their new partner.
They dress up, work out, cook elaborate meals, etc.
However, as the relationship progresses, a lot of couples tend to slack.
When people have been together for longer they often make more effort to look good for work than to dress up for a date night.
This is partially because they now trust each other and
can relax more about their appearance. (Which is a GREAT thing!)
But it can also simply be pure laziness.
I’m as guilty of this as anybody else.
I spend most of my weekends wearing yoga pants and baggy sweaters…
But I’m also sure to make an effort AT LEAST every once in a while that I know will make Gabriel happy.
The habit of making efforts (even if they’re little) will let him know, you appreciate him.
In turn, it encourages him to return the gesture.
Habit #4 | Keep the Chemistry in Your Relationship by Flirting With Your Man
I think we can all agree,
flirting is FUN.
Gabriel often rolls his eyes at me and says
“Oh you flirt..”
It’s true, I am constantly flirting and teasing him.
And I know he LOVES it.
This kind of fun shouldn’t be limited to the early stages of relationships only.
It’s such a great and easy way to reignite the spark and reawaken attraction between people.
Happy couples never stop flirting.
So keep up the good habit. 😉
Habit #5 | Constantly Getting to Know Each Other Better Can Make Your Relationship Grow
When people have been together for a long time they often
assume that they now know everything there is to know about each other.
But the reality is,
there is always more to find out about a person.
Gabriel and I have been together for over 8 years now and I’m still learning new things about him almost EVERY DAY.
It’s stuff like events from his past as well as some surprising likes and preferences.
Showing an interest in your man’s world and
making space for him to express his real thoughts and desires will make him grow more ATTACHED to you.
If you’re in need of some inspiration, here are:
helpful questions you can ask him, to get to know him better.
Leaving room for both of you to be your real selves with each other will deepen your emotional connection and make your relationship grow.
So keep up the habit of staying curious about getting to know him on a deeper level.
You’ll be surprised to discover how many interesting layers he has. Conclusion
So to summarize, here are the 5 habits again:
Habit #1 | Talking to each other a lot
Habit #2 | Prioritizing each other
Habit #3 | Making continuous efforts
Habit #4 | Keep the spark with flirting
Habit #5 | Stay curious about each other
We credit them for making us much happier and stable as a couple.
Even if you only
get 2-3 of these down, you’ll notice great improvements in your relationship!
If you have any questions or would like to add something, let me know in the comments section.
Photo by Chermiti Mohamed
There are many skills you can learn that improve your relationship.
But there are
3 that had the MOST POSITIVE EFFECT on our relationship and made it LAST!
Got us through our worst patches
Are the ones, we use MOST FREQUENTLY to this day
Dissipated our conflicts before they even escalated
In other words, they’re
the most USEFUL and they’ll have the BIGGEST impact in ensuring the growth and survival of your relationship.
I’ve listed them in the order in which we’ve learned and perfected them. 1. Why Reflective Listening Will Keep Your Partner Hooked
Reflective listening is the first skill we discovered, that significantly reduced our fights.
What is reflective listening?
In case you haven’t heard about it before,
reflective listening is a communication strategy involving two key steps:
Seeking to understand your partner’s thought
Then repeating the thought back to him, to confirm you’ve understood him.
In other words,
you listen to your partner carefully, then say what they said back to them to ensure that they feel understood.
Him: “ Work was such BS! My boss is so incompetent, he doesn’t even get what I’m working on! But he doesn’t even care to try and understand either! I’d do a WAY better job if I was in his position.”
You: “So your boss is not listening to you or not trying to understand what you’re working on AGAIN?”
Him: “Yes, exactly! Why am I even working for this guy?”
And so on and so forth.
The power of this skill is not to be underestimated, it will keep him absolutely HOOKED.
Because he will feel so understood and heard by you!
I’m speaking from experience here.
Karolina has gotten so good at this by now, nobody can compete.
And when I’m having a bad day, I KNOW that when I tell her about it, she’ll reflect what I’m saying back to me and it’ll help me feel less alone and sort it out.
Without this skill though, you and your partner might find yourselves endlessly turning in circles.
Because it’s extremely difficult to feel understood otherwise.
2. How Resolving Problems Prevents Potential Relationship Crises
A relationship without problem-solving will deteriorate.
It’s a harsh truth, but I don’t want to lie to you.
When problems are ignored and swept under the rug, they don’t disappear…
They actually compound.
And over time, the pile becomes so big it’ll infect most areas of your relationship and cause a crisis that it might not survive.
This is why problem-solving is the second skill on this list.
Karolina and I learned this lesson the HARD WAY.
We got along so well at the beginning, the problems that popped up seemed insignificant, so we ignored them.
But as time went by, they grew and grew, until they erupted into endless frustrating fights.
This is when we decided to tackle our problems head-on and started asking questions:
What exactly are we fighting about here?”
“What can we do to fix this?” “
What unmet need is driving us to argue?”
We figured it out in the end, but we would have saved ourselves a lot of heartbreak, had we started dealing with our relationship problems earlier on. 3. Romance & Sex Will Keep Your Relationship Healthy & Exciting
Romance and sex are what differentiate your platonic friendships from your intimate relationship.
And they fulfill basic human needs:
Feeling attractive, desired and connected through sex.
You and your partner
trying to fulfill each other sexual needs is an important factor that can make or break your relationship.
If you stop making an effort to be intimately close with each other, your attraction will dry up.
Yes, romance and sex can be perceived as skills.
You can learn them and get better at them but not in the traditional sense.
It’s not about performing certain actions or learning to do things in a particular way.
What makes romance and sex work in a long term relationship
is developing and deepening the emotional connection with your partner.
You can make your sex life so much more fulfilling and exciting just by
getting to know your partner better.
Building trust can help you both open up and let each other in more.
And the closer and more connected you get, the more fulfilling and exciting your sex life can become… 😉
If you have thoughts or questions, let me know in the comments below and I’ll get back to you.
Photo by Analise Benevides
Love is confusing.
It comes with lots of ups and downs.
When Gabriel and I started dating, there were times when everything was perfect.
We couldn’t get enough of each other, it seemed like we were on the same page about most things.
It was clear to me then that he is THE ONE.
But one week later we’d have a fight about something and I’d immediately start asking myself:
“Are we too different? Do we even want the same thing?”
Even in films, true love always comes with a bit of drama.
But being unsure, whether your partner really cares about you or not can be nerve-racking.
These signs 7 can help you distinguish
if your man truly loves you. 1. You Can Be Yourself Around Him
True love is about valuing and accepting another person…
Just the way they are.
Like Marc Darcy did in Bridget Jones’s Diary…
If your man truly loves you
he’ll value and appreciate your tastes and preferences.
You won’t have to put on a show and pretend you’re smarter…
Or dumber than you really are.
You’ll feel free to tell him your REAL thoughts and opinions.
Your true love will encourage you to express yourself and be your TRUE SELF around him. 2. You Feel Like He Gets You
Having a strong emotional connection with your man is a definite sign of true love.
If you feel like
he just gets the way you tick, that he understands what drives you and what you really want in life…
You’ve hit the JACKPOT!
Having this sort of
“unspoken understanding” with your man is a definite sign of having found your soulmate.
And even if this is a barrier, there are quick ways to
improve communication in a relationship so that he does get you! 3. He Is Genuinely Interested In You
There are worlds between
a guy who’s just a player and a man who actually wants to know you.
A big part of truly loving someone is
taking an active interest in who this person really is.
Your true love will want to hear about your past and where you came from.
If your man truly loves you
he’ll be curious about these things and ask you questions.
He’ll want to get to know you better and better…
you two can open up and grow even closer. 4. He Can’t Get Enough Of You
When two people love each other, they rarely want to be apart.
If your man truly loves you, he’ll really value and crave your company.
He’ll ask you out on dates, invite you over, come by to your place, etc.
Moreover, once your date is over and you have to split up for a while, he’ll be sure to ask:
“When will we see each other again?”
He’ll want to make plans to see you over and over again.
If your man
makes an effort to spend time with you, he definitely cares about you.
And if not, there are tried-and-true ways to
remedy that and really make him want you! 5. He Wants You to Be a Part of His Life
The people we choose to surround ourselves with are an important part of our life.
Everybody loves having friends and family.
If your man is your true love,
he will want to share every part of his life with you.
This includes introducing you to everyone else that’s important to him.
He will invite you to come to parties and to meet his friends and family.
On top of that, he’ll be eager for you to like them because
he’ll want you all to be able to hang out and have fun together.
He’ll want you to share all his precious moments with you. 6. He Cares About Your Happiness
A big part of loving someone is
caring about that their well being.
If your man truly loves you,
he will make little efforts to make you happy all the time. Some of which might be habits that happy couples tend to have anyway.
There are little proofs of love that I experience in my relationship EVERY DAY.
Like Gabriel cooking things the way I like, even if he considers my methods a total overkill. Or us watching “boring” movies just because I want to see them.
Your man doesn’t need to make any HUGE gestures to express his true love for you.
little efforts done on an everyday basis can be a constant reminder of his love and affection.
If your man is ready to make little sacrifices, to make you happy, that’s definite proof that he really cares about you.
7. You Can Count On Him
True love is about having each other’s back. It’s about supporting each other through thick and thin.
When you’re in a stressful situation or simply stuck with a problem…
You can count on him to be there.
When I was doing my bachelor’s in architecture, Gabriel was happy to jump in and help out.
I was lost in a creative frenzy and he knew I’d be hungry, so he surprised me by coming by with a giant pizza.
He then patiently held my stick models until the glue became fully solid, no matter what hour of the night.
If you can count on your man to support you when you need him…
It’s a sure sign, he really DOES love you.
And even if you’re not sure you can count on him, there are still
ways to build trust in a relationship. 8. He Can’t Keep His Hands off of You
Physical attraction and desire play a huge part in any romantic relationship. We are animals after all, equipped with a strong urge to reproduce….
Our sex drive is not all about making babies or just pleasure though,
it’s also an incredibly powerful way of connecting with another person.
A big part of what makes physical touch, kissing, affection and everything else feel SO GOOD is when it’s about
breaking barriers and finding ways to feel closer and closer to each other.
A man who is in love can’t stop to look for all sorts of possibilities to feel as close to the object of his desire AS POSSIBLE.
If your man has a hard time keeping his hand off of you, it’s a sure sign your love is true and that he is really into you. 9. You Feel Good When You’re With Him
They say that no other person can make you happy.
It’s true that no matter how much your man loves you, he’ll never be able to solve ALL your life’s problems.
However, in my experience, true love does make you feel really GOOD.
The experience of feeling seen, understood, appreciated is just something that is extremely pleasant.
Add some physical intimacy to this mix and you’ll have all sorts of happiness hormones coursing through your whole body.
True love is the strongest natural happiness inducing drug on the market…
If you feel good when you’re spending time with your man it’s a sure sign that he is the special someone and that you have finally found the one.
I hope you’re more clear on what true love is now.
In summary, be sure to watch out for these signs in your relationship:
You Can Be Yourself Around Him
You Feel Like He Gets You
He Is Genuinely Interested In You
He Can’t Get Enough Of You
He Wants You to Be a Part of His Life
He Cares About Your Happiness
You Can Count On Him
He Can’t Keep His Hands off of You
You Feel Good When You’re With Him
So, if all these signs fit and you’re now feeling the irrepressible urge to burst into a love song, then can help complete your Disney princess moment. our best 50 songs about true love
If however, reading this has made you doubt his feelings towards you, know that not all hope is lost! There are
, that can add up to him changing his heart. little things you can do to make him love you more
Now if you’re already in a serious relationship with your man and for some reason you’re still unclear about whether or not he really loves you, there might be some less obvious reasons driving you to doubt your relationship.Sometimes it’s not just about the signs of true love from him, but rather that there are things that stand in the way of your connection that can take some deeper work. This is actually why we created the
Rebuild Your Relationship course.
Here we dive into the reasons why love can at times feel ambivalent in a relationship and exactly what you need to do to gain clarity and feel connected with him.
We also talk about the often invisible things that stand in the way of true love and what it actually takes to take those walls down to restore a sense of closeness and belonging.
click here to check out Rebuild Your Relationship.
This is already a long post by now, but if you have further questions about signs of true love, chances are you’ll find the answers you seek down bellow.
How Do You Know a Man Is Your True Love?
Now it’s all well and good to look out for the signs of true love. But, maybe, even after reading all this, you still aren’t 100% sure whether or not he really is THE ONE for you.
That’s a perfectly normal situation to be in.
The thing about true love is that we have all been brought up with a completely FALSE image of it.
Love stories and fairy tales taught us girls that when we meet our one true love, we’re supposed to know then and there.
That is not only complete BS but also a very unrealistic expectation.
When you just start going out with someone, you generally don’t know that person very well.
How are you then supposed to be able to gauge whether or not you’ll want to spend the rest of your life with this particular man?
That’s right, it’s impossible!
It takes time to get to know somebody, It takes even longer for a person to open up and build trust in a relationship.
The truth is, time will tell whether or not he is your soulmate.
It’s perfectly normal to have
doubts about your relationship. Your man is going to have to prove himself to you. And you’ll have to prove yourself to him. This might take months, or even years.
Only over the course of your relationship can you grow increasingly certain that a man is your one true love. What Does True Love Really Mean?
So, not only true love is something that gradually develops and deepens between two people as time goes by. There is also another groundbreaking truth about it that most people tend to forget:
True love is not just a chance, it’s a CHOICE.
When you meet someone you appreciate and deeply care about, you then CHOOSE to invest in this relationship. You DECIDE to open up to him and be vulnerable.
True love means making an effort for someone else. It’s about sticking through the tough times. Being ready to put in the work and not letting go and giving up.
Yes, finding your soulmate is about getting together with a person you’re attracted to who is compatible with you.
But more importantly, it’s also about finding someone who is serious, mature, willing to put in the work and wanting to commit to truly loving you.
If you have any questions or would like to add something, let me know in the comments section.
I’d love to hear from you.
Photo by Alice Donovan Rouse
Whether you’re just dating or you’ve been together for years…
Trust is something you can always DEEPEN in your relationship.
Doing so has
many benefits, like enhancing your sense of safety, stability, and certainty about your future with him.
There are, however, pitfalls you want to watch out for.
Certain actions (or non-actions) can make him lose trust in you FAST.
You want to
watch out for- and AVOID these behaviors so that you can earn and keep his trust. #1 Making Decisions for Him Without His Involvement
If there’s a social event you’ve been invited to, or you’ve received ticket offers to that awesome musical you’ve been wanting to see…
Be sure to check-in with your man as well.
Otherwise, he might feel OVERRUN.
Because if you made the decision without him, it would communicate that he has no decision power and that you didn’t care for his opinion or needs.
So it’s important to ask if he is interested in said event and whether he already has other plans.
He will appreciate and TRUST you more for it. #2 Sweeping the Truth Under the Rug
A definite trust-breaker is not telling the truth or hiding it.
We’ve often heard women talk about making the decision to lie to their partner in order to not hurt his feelings.
Although this train of thought can come from a well-meaning place…
cause more damage than good.
Generally, sooner than later, secrets come out.
And to make matters worse,
when a lie is uncovered, the trust it destroys is NOT ISOLATED to that one incident.
It will most likely reach as far back as the lie itself.
Resulting in him questioning everything that happened between the two of you within that time frame.
The simple reality is…
That telling the truth in relationships is the best way to prevent a trust-breaking ordeal.
Even when it’s difficult.
#3 Sharing Things With Others That He Told You in Confidence
You’ve probably experienced your man being
secretive and distant about his feelings.
He’s likely doing it to protect himself from being hurt.
Because in his world different rules apply to his vulnerability. He’s probably been shamed and judged in some of the following ways:
You’re always acting like a girl when it comes to this!” “
Stop crying and just get over it already!” “
Why are you getting emotional about this?” “
You’re too sensitive, man up!”
For these reasons, he’ll guard his feelings very closely.
But If you have gained your man’s trust and he shares something vulnerable with you…
I recommend NOT SHARING it with anybody else.
If you do, I guarantee it will shatter any trust you’ve built with him and you’ll need to rebuild it ALL OVER before he shares himself with you again.
If you’re in a situation where sharing his story feels beneficial and relevant,
be sure to ask him whether it’s okay FIRST.
Doing this will actually INCREASE HIS TRUST in you. #4 Having Ulterior Motives and Not Being Upfront
I once had a friend who always hid her true motives and was really manipulative.
She used men quite shamelessly…
But she repeatedly had the experience of them abandoning her. She used to say:
Why do men ALWAYS abandon me?! I’m just being honest.”
I know, it’s ironic, but she did ACTUALLY perceive herself that way.
Looking back, she likely had reasons for not daring to be upfront, but whatever they might have been, nobody ever found out.
The point though is that
men initially trusted her, but when they realized she was playing them…
That trust DISSOLVED in an instant and *Poof* they left her.
Getting what you want with ulterior motives might initially get you somewhere, but it’s guaranteed to backfire when you want to build trust.
#5 Reminding Him About Everything You’ve Done for Him
Nothing puts a man on guard, like finding out his woman has been keeping an open tab of all the favors she’s done for him.
Don’t get me wrong.
There’s nothing bad in WANTING something in return for your efforts. That’s often the nature of things, we give in hopes of being reciprocated.
But making DEMANDS based on past favors will be perceived as downright manipulative.
Karolina and I like to give things freely to each other and in ADDITION, we communicate our needs OPENLY.
we can receive what we’re giving each other without wondering whether there’s any fine print attached.
At the same time, we can TRUST that the other will communicate their needs.
If you like, you can use
these 3 communication hacks to practice this.
In summary, try to avoid the following behaviors:
Making decisions without his involvement
Sweeping the truth under the rug
Sharing things with others that he told you in confidence
Having ulterior motives than what you present
Keeping a list of all the favors you’ve done for him
By just avoiding these,
you’re putting yourself in a really good position and he will TRUST and RESPECT you much more.
Can you think of other mistakes that could result in losing your partner’s trust? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
Photo by Becca Tapert
There are many things in this world, I can live without.
But cuddling is NOT one of them.
Karolina and I are waaay to attached to cuddling.
And that’s no surprise, given all
the amazing BENEFITS of cuddling!
all thanks to oxytocin, a hormone that creates all sorts of positive feelings for the two of you when you cuddle.
Here are the 7 ways that cuddling couples win! 1. Cuddling Builds Trust Between Couples
There are many
great ways you can build trust in your relationship.
And Karolina and I stand behind everything we teach.
But the simple act of
cuddling with your partner is a great additional HACK for trust-building.
How crazy is that?
You can literally lie there and “
Do nothing.” and the magic between the two of you just happens. 2. It Improves Your Moods & Reduces Depression
Depression and mood swings are not as uncommon as you might think.
Sure we put on a brave face for the world.
But behind closed doors, an estimated
16.2 million adults (6.7%) in the United States have AT LEAST one major depressive episode in a year.
And honestly, judging by our circle of friends and work colleagues, we believe the number to be higher.
Not everybody knows they have depression and many that do don’t seek help!
But in the past when we were down or feeling depressed,
we would just cuddle and it always made us feel BETTER afterward. 3. It Can Help You Sleep Better
Are any insomniacs reading this?
Well, there’s good news for you here too.
Oxytocin can help you relax and let your mind turn off more. Just cuddle up and let the hormones do the work.
A little tip:
You can try resting your head against your partners. It can intensify the feelings of connection and safety and help you relax better. 4. Cuddling Decreases Your Fear
Wait, there’s more??”
You betcha, it’s like a miracle drug isn’t it?
Since the hormone increases feelings of bonding, it also makes you feel safe.
Thereby reducing your sense of fear and danger.
So cuddle up close, sink your claws in and don’t ever let each other go. 😉
5. You Might Feel More Generous
You know when you’re having a really good day and it’s finally all going your way?
in those moments you’re in a much better mood.
So much so, you might be feeling more kind and generous.
Well, guess what?
Cuddling up with your loved one can create the same experience.
So don’t be surprised to find yourself feeling charitable or eager to help out.
6. It Can Help You Recover After Negative Experiences
We see children do it all the time.
When they’ve hurt themselves or something bad happens to them, they run back to their parents crying.
Because they need to be consoled and hugged at that moment.
So that they can FEEL SAFE again.
As adults, our behavior matures,
but our NEEDS remain the same.
So don’t feel bad about wanting to run back into your partners safe and warm arms when things go badly.
You can tell them you need to cuddle to recover again and replenish your batteries.
7. Cuddling Intensifies Feelings Of Attachment
It might seem strange to say, given that Karolina and I are running this blog together now.
But like a lot of men, there was a time I was caught up in being distant and detached for secret reasons.
Over the years (with lots of cuddling) things have changed.
Now I’M the one chasing Karolina for opportunities to snuggle because I like the way it makes me feel…
So in summary,
cuddle and cuddle A LOT with your partner because it benefits you in so many ways:
It builds trust between you
It improves your moods & reduces depression
It can help you sleep better
It decreases your fear
It can make you more generous
It can help you recover after negative experiences
It intensifies feelings of attachment
If you’d like to share your thoughts or experiences about cuddling, let us know in the comments section and we’ll get back to you!