50 Sad One Sided Relationship Quotes About One Way Love

50 Sad One Sided Relationship Quotes About One Way Love

Photo by Felipe Cespedes

If you’re looking for one sided relationship quotes to feel a little less alone and feel understood, then you’re in the right place.

I’ve compiled the best quotes from phrases, sayings, poems and songs that will give you the “Somebody else gets what I’m going through!” feeling.

Because you definitely are not alone with being in a one sided relationship.

One way relationship quotes can help you realize that. They can also give you new perspectives on a love that is not reciprocated, that might be breaking your heart.

To make it easier for you, the one sided love quotes are in the following categories:

  • One sided relationship quotes for when you’re Feeling in Love
  • One sided relationship quotes for when you’re Feeling Hurt & Alone
  • One sided relationship quotes for when you’re Feeling it’s Time to Move On

They’re ordered in a way that reflects the ways you’ll experience one sided relationships.

Which generally starts with:

One Sided Relationship Quotes | Feeling in Love

If you have a crush, and they’re just not responding the way you’d hoped, then these quotes will undoubtedly speak to you.

They’re about people in situations that are before the dating stages.

Where you’re likely admiring them for a distance, maybe even secretly wish that they’d finally take notice of you and your affections!

One Sided Relationship Quotes | Feeling Hurt & Alone

Another way in which you can experience a one way relationship is when either your crush has not reciprocated your love for too long.

Or when you are in a relationship with someone, but are doing all the heavy lifting and feel like there’s nothing coming back in return.

Your partner is just taking you for granted and doesn’t worry about losing you.

One Sided Relationship Quotes | Time to Move On

This final category of quotes is all about how you might feel when you’ve reached your limit and just can’t take it anymore.

You’ve given so much already, you feel like if you continue, your heart might just run dry.

So in order to protect it and nurture it again, you may have to set some boundaries and in the worst case, decide that it’s time to move on.

I hope these quotes help you feel better afterwards!

One Sided Relationship Quotes | Feeling in Love

1. One word from you would make my whole day bright, dear crush.

2. I cannot fathom congratulating you on finding love when I’m not the giver of that love.

3. Hundreds of glances I give him each day, but not one I get in return.

4. I wonder what it’s like to be loved by you. – Wonder, Shawn Mendes

5. It’s hard to wait around for something that you know might never happen. But it’s even harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want.

6. I love you, and it kills me each day to see that you do not feel the same way too.

7. If only life was fair, but I understand it’s not, that’s why you cannot love me.

8. Cupid is nothing without harmony, and you made me understand why.

9. Sometimes I wanna wake up not remembering anything about you.

10. Nobody’s home but me, I’m the only one hangin’ on one-sided love. – Brooke Hogan

11. All of a sudden, my dreams seem to be better than my reality, because at least you loved me in my sleep.

12. People do incredible things for love, particularly for unrequited love.

13. My life has been a continuum of unanswered prayers and you bear the largest portion of that.

14. I find myself wishing every time, if only you knew you are the reason.

15. I’m tired of loving you and hoping you’ll do the same.

One Sided Relationship Quotes | Feeling Hurt & Alone

16. My heart is hollow and only you can fill it, yet it remains empty.

17. There’s nothing quite as sad as a one-sided love. When one doesn’t care at all and the other cares too much. – Dolly Parton

18. A relationship is nothing if all the feelings, sacrifices, contributions and hard work are only coming from one end. – Kisstopher

19. Relationships are worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. – Emily Christine

20. I lost my mind trying to understand yours.

21. I’m not mad. I’m hurt. There’s a difference.

22. You have so much power over me to make me happy or sad. Yet the only thing you’ve ever done has been the latter by saying no.

23. Loving someone who will never love you back is like going to war and standing in the line of fire with your arms wide open.

24. I feel like I’m waiting for something that isn’t going to happen.

25. A long time ago, I thought I met the one. But all I did was meet my suffering, because you’ve innocently been my suffering.

26. Seeing you with someone else is the definition of hell.

27. Well you know that I love you more than anyone can but a one-sided love I just don’t understand. – The Beatles

28. A person doesn’t know true hurt and suffering until they’ve felt the pain of falling in love with someone whose affections lie elsewhere. – Rose Gordon

29. It hurts when you have someone in your heart but you can’t have them in your arms.

30. I’m happy for you, while feeling unhappy that I’m not the author of your happiness.

One Sided Relationship Quotes | Time to Move On

31. Relationships are worth fighting for. But you can’t be the only one fighting.

32. One-sided love is not even love. It’s a bad investment that puts your emotional well-being in debt.

33. If you don’t receive love from the ones who are meant to love you, you will never stop looking for it. – Robert Goolrick

34. No person should be taught that love is how much shit you can tolerate from someone.

35. What you allow is what will continue.

36. There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who won’t even jump a puddle for you.

37. Sometimes you have to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.

38. You deserve the same level of effort you put out. Anything beneath that is not worth waiting for.

39. No relationship in this world ever remains warm and close unless good effort is made on both sides to keep it so. – Eleanor Roosevelt

40. In the end, we all just want someone that chooses us, over everyone else, under any circumstances.

41. If you wanna be hugged. Well, you’ve gotta hug me, too. Yeah, ‘cause I ain’t for no one-sided love affair. – Aldo

42. Somehow, I don’t know how you can miss seeing how much I love you.

43. If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance & in the negative! Know when to close the account. – Christie Williams

44. One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul. – Brigitte Nicole

45. If one day I disappear, know that I’ve tried to say goodbye a thousand times.

46. If you want me falling for you, then you have to give me something worth tripping over.

47. There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it. – Shannon L. Alder

48. For so long, I’ve only had one-sided feelings for other people. I’ve completely forgotten how good it feels to be loved. – Hinako Takanaga

49. My heart is broken, you hold the pieces but cannot mend them.

50. If they don’t make an effort to keep you, why should you?

That concludes the top 50 One Sided Relationship Quotes.

I hope you’ve found some of what you’re looking for!

For those of you, who are secretly crushing on a guy, but still have questions, you’ll likely find some answers in either of these two posts:

9 Signs of True Love From a Man – for if you think he’s fighting his feelings for you or is guarded and doesn’t know how to express himself.

14 Signs He Just Isn’t Into You – for if you’re feeling brave and think that deep down he likely doesn’t feel the same as you, but you just don’t know it yet.

And for those of you in a one sided relationship that have been giving everything, but feel totally alone and abandoned by your partner, you might find this helpful:

Tired of Begging for Attention In Your Relationship? Here’s What to Do!

Thanks for reading, and if you have any quotes that you love, let us know your favorite in the comments!

Gabriel

Cut Him Off, He Will Miss You, or Will He Just Move On?

Cut Him Off, He Will Miss You, or Will He Just Move On?

Photo by Judeus Samson

When a guy you care about breaks up with you or is taking you for granted, cutting him off might feel like the only move you have left to make him realize your value and get him to miss you.

At the same time, maybe you’re hesitant to let go of him because of what might happen if it doesn’t work.

What if he doesn’t come back…?

I know exactly how it feels to be stuck in this very tricky position, because I’ve been there myself.

My now-husband, who runs this blog with me, broke up with me three times in the first two years of our relationship.

The third time he did it, I was devastated, but I was also at my LIMIT.

Yes, I wanted him back, but I was also so hurt, I didn’t want to see or talk to him.

I didn’t actually cut him off completely back then, but I did limit our contact a lot.

Back then, I wasn’t following any strict plan or rules. I was simply listening to myself and setting boundaries that felt right to me.

Me doing all that is what made us get back together in about a month.

Since then, I’ve helped many other women get their ex back.

Also, so many of you guys shared your stories with me, and that’s how I’ve learned that the no contact rule can seriously backfire.

When done right, cutting him off will make him miss you.

If done wrong, it will only push him further away and make him move on faster.

In this post, I will explain the subtle differences between these two approaches. I’ll also give you tips on what to do to get him to want you back. (Without messing up your chances.)

When You Walk Away From a Man, He Will Come Back

The reason why cutting him off can make him miss you, is because you have to get your ex to experience losing you in order for him to realize your true value to him.

As long as he feels safe and secure that he can always have you back, no matter what, the true impact of the breakup will never hit him!

He will also have no reason to fight for you and try to win you over again.

That’s why you need to walk away from him, at least to some degree, to get him to come back to you.

Like I mentioned before, there are two ways of going about this.

Cutting him off the right way will make him miss you when you’re gone.

Doing no-contact the wrong way will only make him move on faster.

How NOT to Cut Him Off

There is a pattern I observed on how women react to being broken up with.

First they are chasing their ex, trying to prove how much they care and how special the relationship was with apologies, writing letters etc.

But when all their efforts remain fruitless, they inevitably burn out.

And then they cut him off as a last attempt at getting him to want them again.

Unfortunately, there are two big mistakes here, that a lot of women make when doing no-contact that only motivate men to pull away more and start looking for a new relationship.

Cutting Him off Without Warning or Explanation Will Only Create More Damage

The first big mistake is: suddenly going no contact without any warning or explanation.

You’re not communicating anything to your ex, you just stop responding or even ghost him.

The thing about treating someone this way is that it’s a huge breach of trust.

It only breaks things and creates more problems, often in an already struggling relationship, that’s hanging by a thread.

In his head, your ex thinks that you still care about him, at least to some degree. When you cut him off this way, it communicates that you don’t anymore.

Men do not respond well to this kind of rejection.

He’ll think to himself:

I was right to break up. If she doesn’t care about me anymore, I’m going to go and find somebody else who will”.

When You Cut Him off Completely, You Give Up All Control Over the Situation

The second big mistake women make when cutting off their ex is that they completely stop all communication.

Ironically, a lot of dating and relationship experts recommend that you do full no-contact for a set period of time.

I disagree with this approach.

The problem with it, is that cutting him off completely means giving up all control of what he is doing and whom he is seeing.

Yes, theoretically if you’re broken up, you can’t prevent your ex from dating other women anyway.

But breakups are messy and most of the time men don’t know what they are really doing.

Your ex might start doing things just to provoke you. However, if you’re in full no contact mode, you won’t be able to respond to it in any way.

On top of it all, he will read your behavior as you not being interested in him anymore, and take it as a cue for him to truly leave you and try to move on.

How to Cut Him off to Make Him Miss You

Now that you know the biggest pitfalls no-contact can lead to, let’s finally discuss how to do it in a way that will get you the results you’re hoping for.

Two extremely important things to do when cutting him off are: telling him why you’re doing it, and also leaving some sort of open communication channel.

When Gabriel broke up with me for the third time, he actually wanted to meet up on the next day. Back then, I was just way too angry and hurt to want to see him. So I told him I needed space.

I made it very clear why I was cutting him off and that he can still reach me, if he needs to.

He knew I still cared about him, but I was just upset.

Me communicating that totally changed the power dynamic between us, he felt bad and became apologetic.

After that exchange, we barely talked for a few weeks.

We had an open communication channel. He reached out to me a few times to check in, talk briefly, clarify things etc.

It didn’t make him change his mind about the breakup right away.

Cutting him off didn’t have an immediate effect. In fact, it rarely does.

BUT, today when we talk about it, he agrees that had I cut off all contact, he might have just moved on because he wouldn’t have had the chance to realize he missed me.

This brings me to my next point…

How Long Does It Take a Guy to Realize He Misses You

Guys can be very stubborn. Once they decide they want to break up, they tend to stick with it, at least for a few weeks.

Much like you’ll go through certain phases after a breakup, so will he.

Initially, he is going to be happy with his newfound freedom. At the same time, he’ll also start missing you, the moment he realizes that you’re gone.

He might even start sending you subtle cues that he is waiting for you to get you back.

But whatever his reasons for breaking up were, they are going to outweigh the benefits of having you in his life. At least in the beginning.

That’s why you can expect him to remain distant and guarded in that first stage after the breakup.

This is particularly true if you know your ex to be emotionally unavailable.

Different people need a different amount of time to snap out of this stubborn frame of mind.

But judging from my coaching experience, it generally takes two weeks up to a month after the breakup for an ex to realize he misses you so much, he’ll want to start getting back in touch on a regular basis.

However, this period of time can be much longer if you guys have been together for a couple of years and the breakup happened because you were fighting too much, or due to some other serious relationship issues.

Generally speaking, the bigger the problem, the longer it will take for your ex to let his guard down and start showing you that he still cares.

Additionally, in most cases, cutting him off is NOT going to be enough to get him to come back to you and want to commit to you again.

Getting Him to Want You Back After Cutting Him Off

I know that a lot of you guys hope that doing no-contact will be all that’s needed for your ex to have this sudden realization he made a terrible mistake, do a complete 180, apologize and beg you to take him back.

I get it, I felt the exact same way after our breakups.

It’s hard to deal with being rejected. It’s only natural that you’d want him to take it all back and admit that he was wrong.

Sometimes it doesn’t happen this way, but unfortunately they are very rare.

In most cases, getting your ex back is not so much of a sudden event, but more of a gradual process.

On one hand, it will require you to set boundaries with him and cut him off from his boyfriend privileges.

But at the same time, you also have to reel him in to get him to come out of his stubborn shell.

If you feel lost and a bit hopeless about this whole situation, that’s actually something we could help you with in a coaching call.

Here, we will listen carefully and figure out what the best course of action is for your particular case.

We’ll then give you actionable tips on what to do and write to get your ex to not only miss you, but also to want to commit to you again.

So if you want an expert in your corner to support and guide you, you can click here to check out our coaching calls.

In case you want to know more about how Gabriel and I got back together, check out my other post: How I Got Him Back - 5 Ways to Make Your Ex Want You Again

And if you have any questions, leave me a comment, and I’ll get back to you!

Karolina

Signs He Knows He Hurt You – and Feels Guilty

Signs He Knows He Hurt You – and Feels Guilty

Photo by Anete Lusina

So he did something that really hurt you.

And this is not like the other times, where it was a small enough incident that you could forget it within the next hour.

No, this was really hurtful, thoughtless and maybe even cruel.

For some of you, it might have even led to a breakup, and he’s your ‘ex’ now.

And to make things worse, he’s not even giving you signs that he knows he hurt you.

Which means he’s hurting you with the incident itself and adding to it, by not acknowledging your pain.

He sure has some nerve…

And all of it might make you wonder:

  • Does he feel guilty for hurting you?
  • Is he hurting too?
  • How does a man feel after he hurts a woman?

And if so, what are the signs that he knows he hurt you?

In this post, we’re going to get to the bottom of it all!

We’ll put a stop to overthinking that’s got you turning in circles, by answering these questions from above.

And after going over the signs, we’ll also talk about what you can do to make him REALIZE that he hurt you and then REGRET IT.

What Are the Signs That Someone Feels Guilty for Hurting You

Before we cover the signs to look for, a word of warning:

Be careful not to fall for them too quickly!

Because he might be giving you the signs for an EFFECT and be trying to get on your good side without earning it.

So don’t let him do that right away!

Especially if it’s with your ex-boyfriend.

(And if you’re really unlucky, he’ll also have the tendencies of a player.)

I know it can be really hurtful to resist just getting back to the familiar and ‘make everything alright again’.

But if he hurt you this badly, he needs to learn a lesson and understand that there are consequences for his actions.

This is the only way he’ll ADMIT that he realizes he hurt you and is sorry.

Here are the 7 signs he’ll give you, so you can know that HE KNOWS that he hurt you and is feeling guilty about it:

1. He Texts and Calls More

How does a guilty man act, you ask?

Well, he’ll be sure to find excuses to text and call you more often and regularly than he has in the past:

  • “Oh, just wanted to see how you were doing.”
  • “I was wondering how that thing of yours went?”
  • “How was your day?”
  • “Did you see what happened in the news?”

Yes. He will put his best foot forward and give you all that attention you’ve been desperate for, because he knows he hurt you and feels guilty.

Consider this a first sign.

2. He Does Things for You

“Oh, I just happened to be in the neighborhood and happened to be at the hardware store and happened to remember that your sink was playing up, and happened to have all my gear with me… So I thought since I’m passing by, I might as well have a look at it and fix it for ya.”

Us men can be weird.

At times, we’re awful with words and emotionally unavailable, so we DO things for you instead to try and make it right when we’ve caused you pain.

So if your guy is unusually active and looking for excuses to help you out in some way, then yeah.

You’ve definitely got yourself a sign that he knows he hurt you.

3. He Comes Bearing Gifts

Another cliché that never stops giving.

“I didn’t want that kitchen table of yours looking all lonesome, and since it’s the season ‘n all, I figured I’d get you a bouquet of your favorite flowers to decorate, ya know?”

Watch out for these kinds of signs.

He’ll look for things he can buy you as an indirect, unspoken apology because he knows he really hurt you.

4. He Just Won’t Leave You Alone

Previously he was all about needing his space

But now, he’ll call, text and do things for you or give you gifts, just anything and everything to find excuses to NOT leave you alone.

So, he’s trying a form of combination of the first three signs we mentioned.

You can think of it as your (ex)boyfriend having zero aim and little understanding of what you truly need, but his heart’s in the right place…

That’s why he’ll load a truck full of all the good he can offer, come over to your place and overwhelm you with it all, hoping something will stick and make you forgive him, because he knows he caused you pain.

5. He’s (Hesitantly) Apologetic

As mentioned, men can have a tough time putting emotions into words.

It’s like he’s got a block of something stuck in his throat that only permits indecipherable grunts and limited facial expressions.

And he’ll be proudly proclaiming that he made his apology, when all you got was:

“I’ll admit that I could’ve done things a bit better.”

Depending on your guy, he’ll be okay at- or downright miserable with apologies.

Nevertheless, it’s how a person acts when they are guilty, so consider it another sign that he knows he hurt you.

6. He Gives You Puppy Eyes

You know that cute face he puts on when he wants something from you?

Yeah, that one.

Well, he’s gonna dial that absurdly irresistible adorableness to a whole different dimension so that you simply can’t resist him.

As previously mentioned, be weary of such cuteness-overload tactics and make sure he acknowledges his mistake and that he hurt you.

But him trying to win you over this way, is another sign that he knows he hurt you.

7. He Makes Promises to Change

When he feels like he’s on your good side again, he’ll likely make sweeping promises of all the things he will (or already has changed) and how everything will be different this time.

Again, if it’s your ex that hurt you, be careful and take things slowly.

Because as well intended and genuine as his promises may be, things don’t change so quickly in relationships.

But his promises are definitely another sign that he knows he hurt you.

So now we’ve covered all the signs with which he can (often indirectly) communicate that he understands and knows he messed up.

Here they are again:

  1. He Texts and Calls More
  2. He Does Things for You
  3. He Comes Bearing Gifts
  4. He Just Won’t Leave You Alone
  5. He’s (Hesitantly) Apologetic
  6. He Gives You Puppy Eyes
  7. He Makes Promises to Change

But what if he doesn’t give you these signs?

What if he’s so stuck up in his own ways, that he doesn’t even realize what he’s done?

Well, in that case you’ll unfortunately have to make him realize it.

How Do You Make Someone Realize They Hurt You

I’ll be honest with you, it’s not easy.

As we’ve previously covered, there are reasons why relationships are complicated.

And depending on his character, your (ex)boyfriend might have a really difficult time recognizing that he hurt you.

BUT, it is common in relationships!

Both Karolina and I know how hard it can be, because we’ve had our own struggles in realizing we hurt each other.

And we learned the hard way, that in order to make him realize he made a mistake, there are 2 things you need to do:

  1. Show him that you’re hurt
  2. Talk about why he doesn’t see he hurt you

Let’s cover both in more detail.

1. Show Him That You’re Hurt

Now, it may sound obvious, but we’ve seen too many cases of men hurting their partner, and she DOESN’T make it clear that she’s hurt.

Sometimes this is because she’s afraid of rocking the boat and escalating the conflict.

But other times it’s because she expects him to read between the lines and see the signs.

Either way, you’d be setting yourself up for disappointment.

Instead, show him and let him know that you’re hurt.

Wear it on your sleeve and DON’T make a secret of it.

And if that still isn’t enough to make him realize he hurt you (which admittedly is often the case), then we move to the next step.

2. Talk About Why He Doesn’t See That He Hurt You

If you’re not getting anywhere by showing him that you’re hurt, then it’s a sign that he’s BLIND to the fact that his behavior hurts you.

This is a very crucial point to understand.

Because if he can’t see that he’s causing you pain, by extension, he can’t give you the acknowledgement and apology you need.

You’re then stuck in scenarios where you’re endlessly chasing him for an apology that he CAN’T give you.

Much like with men who think they do nothing wrong.

So in order to change this, you first need to talk to him about why he doesn’t see that he hurt you.

Why is he blind to it?

You’ll need to have gentle conversations with him about it, and the reason he has difficulty realizing he hurt you is often because he’s blind to his own pain about similar issues.

He doesn’t really know or understand.

So be sure to take things slow and gain his trust, otherwise he’ll just throw up another wall.

Once you’ve had those conversations, he’ll be less blind to his own pain and in turn be able to realize that he hurt you.

How Do You Make a Guy Regret Hurting You

Some of you have asked how you can make a man feel bad for hurting you.

Well, once you’ve helped him be less blind to his own pain, he’ll finally see what he’s put you through and with that will come A LOT of regret.

He’ll see all the difficulty and pain he caused, and the fact that you stuck it through with him will also make him realize YOUR VALUE!

You can likely expect him to regret it for a long time, and he’ll keep bringing up moments from the past that he’s reframed and finally recognize them as painful moments he caused for you.

I’ll admit that some men can be a difficult case to crack, and their walls feel like concrete barricades that are impossible to penetrate.

And experiencing repeated rejection and ignoring from a guy like this can feel really discouraging.

But this is where 1 on 1 coaching could help you out.

In a coaching call, we’ll listen to you, to get a crystal clear picture of what your situation is with your man.

You’ll then get clear actionable steps to take, which will lead to him finally understanding the pain he caused you and give you an appropriate apology.

Which in turn will help you heal and find security in your relationship again.

If that sounds like the results you want, you can click here to check out our coaching calls.

We also have a post that you might find helpful for your situation that you can read here 4 Steps to Make Him Worry About Losing You.

Let me know if you have any questions in the comments section and I’ll get back to you!

Gabriel

Why Ghosters Always Come Back and What to Do About It

Why Ghosters Always Come Back and What to Do About It

Photo by Kev Costello

Being ghosted by a guy you liked is a painful experience. Maybe you’re in a bit of a shock or even disbelief because of it.

You probably thought that what you two shared was special and that he cared about you just as much as you cared about him. Things seemingly were going so well…

…only for him to suddenly cut you off for no reason and with no explanation!

If this just happened to you, you might be wondering: “Is he ever going to get back to me?”

Or perhaps someone who ghosted you just got back in touch, and now you’re really confused and don’t fully understand what he wants from you at this point.

Worry no more, I got you covered!

In this post, I will share with you everything you need to know about ghosting. We’ll talk about why ghosters always come back, what does it mean when they do and what best to do about it.

Why Ghosters Always Come Back

Imagine two people start dating each other. They’re both into it, things are going well, but then the guy starts having second thoughts.

He suddenly becomes scared of how fast things have been going. He’s not sure if he is ready for any serious commitment.

Plus, he was putting on a bit of a show to impress his date, pretending to have it all figured out etc., but he just can’t keep it up anymore.

So he is very undecided:

On one hand, he doesn’t want to let go and just end things. But he doesn’t want to continue the relationship either.

And that’s why he just ghosts his date.

This way he doesn’t have to admit to anything to her and doesn’t have to explicitly end things either.

But at the same time, he is also making sure that the relationship doesn’t continue.

To him, ghosting is a painless solution to his dilemma.

It’s like an open-ended breakup.

In his head, they’re not dating anymore, but theoretically they could just pick up exactly where they left off, if he were to change his mind.

This is the reason why ghosters always come back!

The very purpose of ghosting is to create uncertainty and thereby leave room for a potential change of heart.

This is also why ghosters still follow you. They want to keep tabs on, so that they are up-to-date on what is going on in your life and can intervene if necessary.

How Long Until a Ghoster Comes Back

Firstly, I want to make clear what qualifies as ghosting.

If a guy you’re dating suddenly stops replying only to get back to you a couple of days later, he hasn’t ghosted you.

A few days of no contact isn’t enough to qualify as ghosting.

There are many potential reasons why a guy might stop responding.

If someone you’re dating has dropped off the map of for about a week, or continues to do so, that’s also not really ghosting.

It’s possible that he is emotionally unavailable and has trouble letting you become a part of his life.

Another possibility is that he is hiding something, like a depression, an addiction or worse.

Still, a few days up to a week of silence isn’t enough to qualify as ghosting.

How long does it take for a proper ghoster to come back then?

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any reliable statistics on this.

But a lot of you guys have shared your stories with me in your comments and emails. Based on what you’ve told me, on average, a ghoster takes about 3 to 6 moths to come back.

But this is just an estimation. There is no fixed time frame for this.

It all depends on the situation and on his character.

Some ghosters come back after a month, some get in touch after a year of no contact, others never come back.

This brings me to my next point…

Do Ghosters Ever Regret Ghosting

The short answer is: no they don’t.

I know this might be shocking and hard to hear, but let me reassure you right away: it doesn’t mean that you were completely wrong about him, and that he didn’t care about you at all.

The reason why ghosters don’t regret ghosting is because, in their head, they haven’t lost you yet.

To them, it’s an open-ended breakup. They think they can just get back to you and win you over again. So in a way, they feel like there is nothing to regret yet.

The only time when a ghoster might start regretting what he’s done is when tries to restart the relationship, and you’re not interested in him anymore.

Only then he might start having serious regrets.

What Does It Mean When a Guy Ghosts You and Then Comes Back

This probably makes you wonder: “if he doesn’t regret ghosting me, then why did he come back?”

There are many reasons why men ghost women, but there is only one reason why they come back:

When a guy comes back after ghosting you, it means: he is still attracted to you and wants you again.

Does it mean you’re special to him and that he really cares about you, though?

No, unfortunately not.

A guy who is a ghoster isn’t mature enough to experience this kind of serious attachment.

Him coming back after a long time apart could indicate that you two shared something deeper and that he missed you.

But it could also be because some other girl just dumped him, and he wants to feel less lonely.

Or maybe he noticed that you were about to move on and barged in to prevent it. He might not want a serious relationship, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have you either.

Now that you know that a ghoster coming back means that he wants you again, let’s discuss what your most strategic next move should be.

Should You Take a Ghoster Back

You should almost never take a ghoster back.

He did this to you once already, he is bound to ghost you again.

Even if he doesn’t, he has already shown that he can’t be trusted.

Regardless how special things might have felt with this guy, it wasn’t for real. He was pretending to be someone he is not and hasn’t been honest with you.

A guy who is truly in love with you, would never treat you this way.

If he truly cared about you, he would have told you what was going on, he also wouldn’t be stringing you along and keeping things vague on purpose.

So this is the reasonable thing to do, but I know that when it comes to the matters of heart, people hardly ever act reasonably…

I myself took my boyfriend back after he broke up with me three times. (He never ghosted me though…)

Still, I was definitely doing the unreasonable thing back then, and it actually turned out great. We are now happily married, we’re running this website together, and we’re helping other people with their relationship problems.

I also know from a lot of your guy’s comments that saying no to a ghoster is often easier said than done.

So if you need some support when it comes to standing your ground, or you are just really unwilling to give up on him but don’t want to go into it unprepared, I’m more than happy to support you with this, in a coaching call!

Here, I’ll listen to your story and help you make sense of it.

We’ll then make a plan and give you tips on what to say and do, so that you can either get closure, or regain control and feel secure with him again.

Click Here to Check Out Our Coaching Calls

If you feel frustrated that you just keep on falling for the wrong kind of men, you might find some helpful tips in my other post: How To Finally Find The Right Guy

And in case you have any questions, leave me a comment below, I’ll answer them there!

Karolina

7 Signs He Will Never Come Back – How to if Tell Your Ex Is Over You

7 Signs He Will Never Come Back – How to if Tell Your Ex Is Over You

Photo by JoelValve

There is really no point waiting for a guy who will never come back.

But at the same time, giving up and letting go of a relationship is extremely difficult…

It takes two people to fix a relationship after a breakup.

You can’t force someone to give you a second chance. You can’t make him see things your way, either.

As hard as it might be to accept this, sometimes it’s better to just cut your losses and move on.

But in order to be able to do that, you need to know for sure that your ex truly is over you.

You need to feel like you’re reading the signs correctly and making the right choice.

That you did everything you possibly could to fix things, but he made up his mind already, and that it was just not meant to be…

Here is a list of signs to help you know that he is over you and will most likely never come back:

1. He’s Blocked You on Everything

Blocking someone on social media and other messaging platforms is a very strong way of communicating that you don’t want to stay in touch with this person.

Unfortunately, it’s a sign that he is done with you guys and wants to move on.

If your ex did this to you, you’re likely very hurt. So much so, you might be questioning whether he really meant it.

“Why would he go to these lengths?! He didn’t have to do this… Is he just overreacting and will change his mind a couple of weeks further down the line?”

Regardless of his reasons for doing this, he is going to these lengths because he wants you to take the breakup seriously.

I know this might be hard to hear, but it’s a sign he is not intending on coming back.

It’s a whole other story if he just ghosted you, though.

Ghosting is suddenly cutting on contact without any warning or explanation.

It doesn’t necessarily include blocking someone on social media. It’s enough for him to just stop replying to your texts.

The purpose of this sad behavior is to actually leave a window of doubt so that he can then potentially get back in touch and restart the relationship as though the falling out never happened.

That’s why ghosters do often come back….

2. He Is Actively Avoiding You

Another strong indicator that your ex will most likely never come back is when he is doing everything in his power to avoid ever meeting you in person.

An example of this would be: him not showing up to parties with friends you two have in common, dropping off his keys in a mailbox, asking a friend to pick up his stuff for him, etc.

You might be wondering: “Why is he acting so silly?? If he was over me, he wouldn’t need to play these kinds of games…”

The thing is, him doing this is him letting you know he made up his mind already.

He wants to move on and is just making sure there are no more openings for you guys to slip into your old patterns.

I know this too is likely hard to hear, but a guy is actively avoiding you the whole time it’s because he wants to gradually distance himself from you.

Unfortunately, it’s another sign he is likely never going to come back.

3. He Picked up All His Stuff Already

Your ex keeping his things at your place after a break-up is a bit like him having an emotional guarantee. It likely comforts him to think that you guys still have something in common.

It’s as though a part of him is still with you…

It’s also a way of ensuring that he will have a reason to meet up with you at least once more. (In order to pick up all the stuff he is letting you keep for now.)

Unfortunately, the opposite is also true.

If your ex has been adamant about getting back all of his things already, know that he is serious about the breakup.

It’s his way of showing you that he doesn’t want or need any ties with you.

Unfortunately, it’s another sign that he is likely over you and is not planing on coming back.

4. He Avoids Any One-On-One Time

When two people are unsure about their decision to break up and still feel drawn to each other, they’ll seek out opportunities to be alone together and possibly feel closer again.

And on the contrary, when a guy is fully resolved that he is over you, he will try to make sure that nothing comes in the way of his decision.

Much like when it comes to him avoiding seeing you, one on one time has the potential to make him slip into old patterns. It can also just lead to awkward silence and painful distance.

So if your ex has been making sure you’re never alone together, know that he is likely doing it in order to avoid any uncomfortable situations.

It’s another sad sign that he lost his feelings for you and will likely never come back.

5. He Remains Distant and Guarded

This point and the previous one tend to go hand in hand.

If you’ve seen your ex recently, and he was acting extremely distant and guarded, know that he is likely very hurt.

So much so, he probably doesn’t trust you anymore, that’s why he put his walls up and is not intending on bringing them back down anymore.

The thing is, it takes two to rebuild trust in a relationship after it’s been broken.

If you’ve been trying to get your ex to open up, and it’s not having any effect; he just continues to stay distant and guarded no matter what, it might be because his mind is made up already.

It’s another sad sign that he is over you and doesn’t want to get back together.

A word of warning here, it could also be that your ex is emotionally unavailable.

Men with these character traits have a hard time showing their true feelings and letting you know where they are really at.

An emotionally unavailable man can act extremely distant and miss you at the same time!

6. You Feel Like He Became a Different Person

When two people are together, they have their ways of interacting with each other. This means giving each other cute nicknames, having insider jokes etc.

After a breakup, this kind of relating generally dies down. It rarely completely disappears, though.

But if your ex is a feels like a stranger and stays a stranger for a long time, know it’s a sign that he is not wanting to let you in anymore.

He likely lost his feelings for you and is now relating to you in a totally new way.

Unfortunately, it’s another sign that he is moving on and most likely will never come back.

7. You Haven’t Been in Touch for Months

When a couple breaks up, their feelings for one another don’t just vanish from one day onto the next.

It’s normal to pull away and take a break from each other.

One of you or both of you might be very hurt and angry, however, the connection you guys share deep down is still there.

Time heals all wounds, unfortunately it can gradually dissipate feelings too.

Maybe you even tried cutting him off in the hopes that it will make him miss you. But he just didn’t react to it at all.

As sad as it is, if your ex hasn’t reached out to you or replied to your text since at least 3 to 6 months, know it’s likely that he is over you and there simply is no point waiting for him anymore.

Him not reaching out or not responding to anything you write is in fact a response.

Think about it, if he hasn’t come back by now, he will likely never come back.

How Do You Tell if He’s Over You

Hope that after reading all these signs, you understand your situation better and know what the odds are for getting your ex to want you back.

Not every relationship is meant to be.

It takes two people to fix things, and if he made up his mind already, there is nothing you can do about it.

So if three or more of these signs fit your circumstances, know that there is really no point waiting for him.

Don’t let a guy endlessly reject you over and over again. It will only break your heart even more.

More importantly, you deciding to give up and move on might be the very thing that can get him to finally realize what he is losing.

My husband broke with me three times in the first years of our relationship, too.

Every one of those times, I actually took him seriously and tried to move on almost right away.

Ironically, this attitude is a big part of what got him to come back to me. If you’re interested, you can read more of our story here.

Moving on after a breakup is very difficult.

It’s hard to give up and let go of somebody you once cared for. It’s also hard to know if you’re doing the right thing.

Maybe deep down you’re still unsure and want to keep on fighting for him.

Or maybe you’ve had enough but feel guilty about moving on.

I can help you make sense of all this mess in a coaching call.

Here, I’ll share stories from my own experience, as well as what I’ve learned from our clients. Together we will then figure out what it is that you really need.

I’ll also give you actionable tips to help you get the things you want from him. Regardless, whether it’s about getting closure or about getting him back.

Click Here to Check Out Our Coaching Calls

If after reading these signs, none of them or very few actually fit your situation, then perhaps your ex isn’t over you…

In that case, you might want to check out: 9 Signs Your Ex Is Waiting for You and Secretly Wants You Back

But if a lot of the signs fit, you might find more comfort in reading: 7 Emotions You’ll Feel After a Long-Term Relationship Breakup

And if you have any further questions, leave me a comment, and I’ll get back to you!

Karolina

How to Deal With a Husband Who Thinks He Does Nothing Wrong

How to Deal With a Husband Who Thinks He Does Nothing Wrong

Photo by Kiera Burton

So your husband thinks he does nothing wrong.

He considers himself above all mistakes.

He knows everything and is the unequivocal expert on all matters in your relationship and beyond.

If something goes wrong or if you’re unhappy, that’s all on you.

Because again, your husband thinks he does nothing wrong. So by extension, if it’s not him, then it’s implied (or he straight up tells you) that it’s all somehow YOUR fault.

He washes his hands of the discussion, and goes back to being distant.

…Leaving you feeling unhappy and emotionally abandoned in your marriage…

If that sounds like your current situation, then know you’re NOT ALONE with this.

Many women have to contend with a spouse that simply won’t hear it and think he knows better.

And I’ll be the first to admit that as a husband, I too struggled with this problem with my wife Karolina.

Now, I may not fall onto the extreme end of the spectrum, but the reasons behind this behavior and how to deal with them are the same.

So in this post, I’d like to share our experience with you and how Karolina helped me grow out of not being able to admit I was wrong.

You’ll be able to apply the lessons we learned to your own marriage, so that you can finally hear your husband GENUINELY say the words:

I was wrong, I’m sorry.

To help you reach this point, we’ll be covering the following questions:

  • What type of person never admits they’re wrong?
  • Why does my husband think he does nothing wrong?
  • How do you deal with a husband who is never wrong?

What Type of Person Never Admits They’re Wrong

When trying to understand your husband’s behavior, it can be helpful to have a term that captures how you feel about him.

You may have heard or thought of some of the following labels:

  • Selfish husband
  • Narcissistic husband
  • Controlling husband
  • Emotionally unavailable

Now, he may be one (or all) of these things, and you have every right to be angry/upset and may want to call him things far worse!

However…

When Karolina tried pointing out my resistance to thinking I was wrong and how controlling I could be, it would fall on deaf ears.

We had to go beyond these labels to get me to admit fault.

Because as it turns out, the type of person to never admit they are wrong, is someone who is actually best labeled ‘terribly AFRAID’

Which brings us to our next point…

Why Does My Husband Think He Does Nothing Wrong

Let’s get into your husband’s head a little.

This way, you’ll know exactly what you’re grappling with, which in turn will help you approach him in a way that he can admit he’s wrong.

So, when Karolina confronted me about something I did wrong, and I would stonewall, it was because of a very simple reason:

I was afraid of the negative consequences of doing something wrong.

You see, in our lives we’re often taught that if we make mistakes, it means we deserve punishment.

It can start at a young age, with experiences of being abandoned by a parent in a shopping mall because you were a “Bad child”.

Or more extreme cases, like being hit because you accidentally broke a vase.

Likewise in adulthood you can experience this wrong=punishment dynamic in toxic relationships.

The summary of these experiences in my youth and adulthood lead to me being a husband who insisted he did nothing wrong…

(And also made it difficult for me to open up.)

Because I was so conditioned to believe that being wrong = deserving of punishment.

In the same way, your husband will have his own backstory where he repeatedly experienced excessive punishment (often unjustified) over being wrong.

That’s why he turns everything around on YOU.

That is why your husband thinks he does nothing wrong!

Because he’s afraid that if he’s wrong, he’ll deserve punishment.

And he’s trying to avoid punishment at all costs. So he’ll never give you that win!

To top it all off, he’s likely NOT EVEN AWARE of this mechanism and just how badly it can lead to him being emotionally unavailable.

So the type of person to never apologize and insist they are always right, are typically ones who have experienced excessive punishment over (often small) mistakes.

And when you try to make him see his mistake, he thinks you’re trying to find a way to make him wrong and justify punishing him.

Make sense?

Now, this DOES NOT mean that his behavior is okay, and that you have to put up with it!

Because we know how endlessly giving in your relationship also can’t end well for you.

But seeing it from this perspective will give you much more power over him in your relationship dynamic.

Which brings us to…

How Do You Deal With a Husband Who Is Never Wrong

First things first.

Don’t try to fight fire with fire.

You know from your own experience that when you live with someone who is never wrong, the more you attack and try to make him see he’s wrong, the more he’ll stonewall you.

Your husband will just plant his feet and selfishly insist he’s done nothing wrong.

Pushing won’t get you anywhere with him. It’ll also drain you fast and make you lose patience…

But how do you deal with a rigid husband, then??

You need to gain his trust, so he reveals his vulnerable side.

Only then will you be able to make him listen to you.

Allow me to explain…

Previously, we covered how when you try to deal with a husband who thinks he is always right, you need to keep in mind that he is afraid of being wrong.

And he is afraid of admitting he’s done something wrong because he believes that it would mean he deserves punishment.

So the only way to actually get through your husband’s defense mechanism is to gain his trust and make him feel safe.

In other words, you need to build and demonstrate that there’s a big safety net for him with giant letters that read:

It’s OKAY to be wrong and make mistakes.

Nothing bad will happen to you.

Only then will you be able to make your husband realize his mistake.

Otherwise, he’ll fight you tooth and nail and never admit he’s wrong, because he doesn’t trust you yet.

It was the same for me with Karolina and I guarantee you, your husband is eyeing you up the same way, thinking:

Can I really trust her?

What’s important to note here, is that men are secretly desperate for this kind of safe space, where they can admit fault and feel safe.

Because believe me, the pressure of keeping up the facade of always being ‘right’ and having it all figured out, is actually an immense weight that we’re eager to unload.

So, gradually gain more of his trust and convey to him that you’re a safe space in which there won’t be any punishment.

And your husband will fall into your arms, pouring his heart out and apologizing for all his wrong doings…

Now, this information alone will give you a great advantage already, and you can start thinking about your strategy based on what we’ve talked about here.

And if you’d like more details on how to best go about building this safety net, you can have a look at our Rebuild Your Relationship course.

Here you’ll learn the right mindset and tools you need to get him from being an uncaring husband, to trusting you with admitting he was wrong and finally telling you those words “I’m sorry.”

We also break down and show you the exact steps we took in our own relationship for Karolina to get through my defenses and gain my trust enough to share these vulnerable things.

If it sounds like something that can help you, you can click here to check out Rebuild Your Relationship.

Thanks for reading, you can drop your questions in the comments section and if you’d like to learn more on this topic, you might want to read: He Gets Defensive When I Tell Him How I Feel – How to Get Through.

Gabriel