It’s perfectly natural to wonder about these things!
‘Cause guess what?
Everybody has doubts.
And that includes us. Even though we were absolutely crazy for each other.
Over time as we opened up, we discovered that there were many moments where we both had our private doubts about our relationship.
But the more we talked about it and listened, the more it became clear that our uncertainties played a crucial -even HEALTHY- role in our relationship.
What Your Doubts Are Telling You
Some of your doubts are useful indicators for things that aren’t working for you in your relationship.
“WHY do you feel like there might be someone better for you out there?”
Maybe your man is emotionally unavailable, maybe you’re afraid that he will never want to settle down and truly commit, or maybe the spark faded and your relationship became mundane and boring.
So, once your doubts come up, don’t panic and try to discard them right away.
Listen to your own thoughts instead!
What is causing you to doubt your man?
There is nothing wrong with your questioning certain things about your relationship!
After you have figured out your thoughts to some degree, bring it up and discuss it with your partner. Processing your doubts a little before talking about them will make it easier for him to listen to you.
Both Karolina and I had lots of doubts about our relationship. We have realized that it’s often enough to just feel received after expressing these kinds of negative feelings, to make them go away.
However, these are all not easy topics to discuss. Bringing up your doubts will most likely freak out your man. It might cause a fight. That’s how it has been for us…
Moreover, the sooner you address your doubts the better. Repressing your negative feelings about your man will only make things worse.
So man up and speak your mind! Use your doubts to make your relationship better.
When Your Doubts Are Never-Ending
In some cases, relationship doubts seem to get out of hand. I used to get lost in a never-ending spiral of doubt sometimes. Who am I? What am I doing with my life? What do I want? Etc
These kinds of doubts have nothing or little to do with your partner. However, they might affect your relationship.
Such thoughts were once the reason why I decided to break up. Thankfully, we got back together after just a few weeks, but still, it was a difficult time for both Karolina and myself.
Everyone comes with their own share of emotional baggage. Moreover, we all are faced with countless expectations of how our lives should unfold, how successful we should become, what our partner should look like, etc.
That’s what it was for me. I had doubts about our relationship, that had nothing or very little to do with Karolina. It was all just external pressure to fulfill expectations and follow the prescribed norms.
We all have to face these issues. It is hard not to fall for the societal pressures.
However, fulfilling someone else’s expectations is draining and frustrating.
Striving towards independence and shaping your relationships the way you see fit is the way to go!
All in all, when faced with an overwhelming amount of doubts about your man, it’s sometimes best not to question your partner but to put your sudden skepticism into question instead!
Another great way to counteract the troublesome doubts about your relationship is to feel emotionally closer to your partner.
This challenge consists of four quick and fun activities that both of you will totally enjoy. They’re bound to make you feel emotionally connected and disperse some of the doubts you might be having about your relationship.
You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve heard women say this.
It’s probably one of the most common complaints all my friends come to me with.
I have faced this problem myself, so I know from my own experience that not feeling heard in your relationship sucks!
Don’t worry though. There is a way to make a man listen to you!
Gabriel and I used to fight about this issue all the time in the past but we figured it out.
In this article, I will share with you the strategies you can use to make your man listen to you.
1. Picking The Right Timing Will Help You Make Him Listen
This is a very crucial point. Choosing the right time to communicate something to your man can make all the difference between him hearing you out or not.
Avoid trying to make him listen when he is preoccupied with something else.
Trying to communicate something to a man last minute before a social event (like a party or meeting with relatives) will most likely get you nowhere.
You’ve gotta pick a time when he is free to give you 100% of his attention.
Trying to talk to a man right after he comes home from work is not a good time either. Honestly, it’s actually the same for me.
When Gabriel starts talking to me about important stuff right after I finish work, I often stop him right then and there saying
“I need a couple of minutes to unwind first, then I’ll be right with you.”
To ensure that your man listens to you, you best pick a time when he is not exhausted, irritated or still doing work in his head.
So what is the best time to make a man listen?
Think about yourself for a moment here. When is the best time that your man has the best chances of getting your attention?
It’s probably during a relaxed evening when you’re just browsing your phone, watching series or YouTube videos.
Well, it’s the same for him. The best time to make a man listen is when he is relaxed or even a bit bored.
Side note here:
it’s not about choosing the perfect timing. Most people’s lives are so busy, that such time might just never happen.
Choosing the right timing is just about optimizing the conditions, to improve your chances of getting his full and undivided attention.
2. Let Him Know You Really Need Him To Listen To You Now
It’s a good habit to let your man know you need his attention before starting to tell him things.
Don’t just start rambling about your day hoping that he cares enough to pay attention to you.
Don’t try to get his attention, ASK for it instead.
Don’t be afraid of being too direct. It’s ok to ask for what you want. Believe me, it will only make things easier for both you and your partner.
You can use phrases like:
“I have something important to say”
“I need to tell you something”
“I really need you to listen to me now”
Letting your man know that you need him to listen to you, gives him a heads up and helps him understand what you’re needing from him at that moment.
This point is something I used to struggle with a lot. I used to have a really hard time asking for what I wanted. Now I see that a lot of women struggle with this problem.
Being able to be direct and tell your man for exactly what you need from him, makes things so much easier!
3. Communicate That You Just Need Him To Listen To You
Giving premature advice is a pitfall many couples fall into, that prevents them from listening to each other.
When you start telling your man about your problems and he starts suggesting solutions right away, you will most likely feel like he totally missed your point.
You’re not even done telling him things and he is already starting to talk about something else! IRRITATING!
Does it mean that he doesn’t care about what you have to say?
No, it doesn’t! Irritating as it may be, he is just trying to help!
Giving unwanted advice is a common mistake. People do it all the time!
Heck, when your partner starts telling you about his problems, you most likely feel worried and try to fix things for him right away too.
I used to have the same reflex, we all do.
So when you’re in the midst of telling him about your problems and he interrupts and starts giving you advice, don’t feel offended or obliged to listen to him.
Just let him know that you don’t need his help, you only need him to listen.
Tell him clearly what it is that you need from him. It will make things so much easier!
Don’t hesitate to say things like “I don’t need your help right now, I just really need someone to listen to me”
Being clear about your needs will help him understand you and focus on what you’re saying to him.
4. Reassure Him That You’re Not Trying To Blame Him Or Pick A Fight
People in relationships often get triggered by the other expressing negative feelings.
We are all quick to assume our partner is blaming us for things when he/she is upset about something.
Contrary to our common beliefs, often that is not the case at all.
People get upset for all sorts of reasons.
When you are telling your partner stuff and he starts getting defensive or annoyed instead of listening to you, it’s a clear sign that what you are saying makes him feel attacked.
But you are not blaming or attacking him you just want him to listen.
Chances are, you being upset about stuff has NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM at all.
If your man is feeling attacked and guilty, he will not be able to listen to you.
In order to make him listen, you have to let him know that you are not attacking him, you’re not pointing out his mistakes or trying to pick a fight.
The best way to do that is by reassuring him, that you are not upset because of him.
Let him know that he hasn’t done anything wrong and that you are not angry with him.
This will put him at ease and give him mental and emotional space to continue listening to you.
Conclusion
Getting your man to listen to you will require you to be specific and clear about what you want.
You can’t expect him to read your mind. You have to take charge of the conversation and shape it the way you want it to go.
When miscommunication happens, try not to take it personally. Your man does want to get your world, he just doesn’t know how to do that!
That’s why you have to tell him what you need.
Making an effort to express your needs clearly is extremely important to make communication work in a relationship.
If you are worried, that trying to make your man listen to you, might trigger an argument, our definitions on healthy relationship arguments can be helpful.
In case you are seeking to understand why your man is having such a hard time listening to you, check out the article on what makes relationships complicated.
If you have any questions about how to make your man listen, please leave them in the comment section below! We’d love to help you out!
If you’ve never tried this one, you’re really gonna love it and it’s not as exhausting as it might sound!
You rent a bow & arrows from the facility and go shoot rubber animals on their grounds.
These grounds are usually in a forest and are a well thought out path, which leads you from one archery challenge to the next.
It’s common to have many 3D rubber animals that you shoot at.
What’s nice about this, is that you don’t rush. It’s super peaceful, with the birds chirping in the trees and little creaks you cross.
Karolina and I had so much fun and it felt like getting in touch with your inner cave-person and going on a “hunt”.
2. Get Your Tan On As A Couple
There’s something so primal and relaxing about just lying in the sun and doing absolutely nothing.
Pack your essentials (towels, sunscreen, and a blanket) and find a nice green spot, preferably near a water source.
Karolina and I like grabbing some grapes, cheese and a baguette to go with it.
After you’ve settled, there’s not much more to it.
Just lie there, relax, soak in the sun and take a refreshing cooling dip when you’re skin’s getting a little toasty.
If you’re concerned about being bored, bring a book along or your favorite tunes.
3. Adopt Some Plants For Your Home
Here’s an unusual one. Yes, go get some lovely plants!
This might not seem like much of a “date” for a couple, but believe you me, this will be a GREAT bonding experience!
Personally, neither of us had much experience with plants, but we thought it was time to have more green in our home.
So we went to our local hardware store that had a garden section and there we discovered countless beautiful plants that we fell in love with!
It was such a pleasure browsing and learning more about the individual plants! (keep your phone handy).
We took it all in and eventually settled on 6 plants (two types of fern, two types of wandering jew, a peace lily and a dumbcane)
Clay pots (cheap and beautiful), fertilizer and some soil, were also on the shopping list.
At home, we repotted the bigger ones and then placed all the plants around our flat to see where they best fit.
You wouldn’t believe just HOW MUCH of a difference it made!
It brought so much life, relaxation and hominess into our lives.
So try this together, because the experience of going into a store full of green, picking 1-2 plants each and repotting at home is unbelievably FUN.
It totally makes for a perfectly unique couple date!
4. A Meal Together With Fresh Local Produce
Sharing food and meals are a cornerstone of how we humans connect.
It’s a very intimate thing in some ways and can be made extra special as a couple.
This isn’t a meal you’re preparing for the sake of eating, think of it as an act of taking care of- and treating yourselves.
A special occasion where you take your time and mindfully pick what the two of you want.
Then find the fresh fruit, vegetables or meat ingredients from a farmers market nearby.
Wash, peel, chop and cook together and balance the responsibilities evenly.
You’re both master chefs here. 😉
This is something Karolina and I like doing time and time again.
To us, it’s not ‘Just another meal.’
It’s a special occasion to listen to each other’s wants and work together on creating something delicious for ourselves.
So happy cooking and bon appetit!
5. Aerial Forest Adventure Park
Yes, this is as awesome as it sounds and is one we highly recommend!
It’s a unique climbing experience among the trees, that you’ll never forget.
You’ll take part in a series of routes along zip lines, that are self-guided and have various challenges at different difficulty levels.
All of this happens amongst the treetops and at the end of a line, you often have a flying fox that takes you all the way back down.
SUPER FUN!
You’ll get a helmet, a harness and two hooks that will keep you totally secured at all times!
This is so fantastic to do as a couple because you’ll need to work together as a team to traverse the obstacles and encourage each other along the way.
6. Walk Along A Creek
Search on google maps for any creeks nearby, this is a perfect date idea if you’re in the mood of being outside, but having cool and ample shade.
Creeks commonly have a lot of green growing on either side and walking along them on either side is SUPER relaxing.
What we enjoy about it, is hearing the constant gentle running of water as you walk and let your minds wander.
From time to time, we then stop by the creek and cool our feet off in the water.
There’s nothing like feeling the cold stones under your feet and spotting fish swim downstream.
7. Join An Outdoor Dance Class
There are lots of local dance events happening in lots of places. We have accidentally stumbled upon a couple of such events just by walking around the city center in Vienna on a summer evening.
I’m sure outdoor dance classes are taking place in your neighborhood too!
Outdoor dance classes are super fun!
First of all, the atmosphere is a lot less formal.
It’s not like a regular class, nobody is teaching you moves and correcting your steps, you just grab your partner’s hand and join the crowd!
Seeing a regular street filled with music and dancing people is just such a great escape from all the seriousness of everyday life. It just creates this atmosphere of fun and celebration!
Once you’ve done your share of dancing, sitting down and observing other couples who are still on the dance floor can be a great entertainment too.
8. Drive Out Of The City On A Starry Night
A lot of us city dwellers don’t get to see the stars very often.
If despite all the light pollution, you can spot some starts in the city night sky, it means the skies are clear that night. It’s a great time to grab a car and drive out into the neighboring countryside to do some stargazing.
You don’t even need to go very far, a 30 min drive is completely sufficient.
Stargazing dates are just one of the most romantic date ideas for couples! All the ambiance, the moonlight and the crickets.
Enjoying the peace and quiet together might make the rest of the world vanish for a moment. It’ll be just you, your partner, the moon and the stars.
Who knows, you might even spot a shooting start, make a wish that will then totally come true.
9. Go Kayaking
Kayaking is a great team building exercise. You’ll have to coordinate with your partner.
No, worries though. It’s quite intuitive and doesn’t take long to get the hang of it.
Whenever Gabriel and I rent a kayak, we always go in a bit of a zig-zag in the beginning. However, half an hour of paddling gives enough practice to have full control of the boat.
Kayaking is a great way to explore places, that aren’t accessible from the land like tiny islands, or wild shores and beaches.
Almost every water basin has a kayak rental place. It’s a great activity for couples to do together at the beach, along a river, or on lakes.
Kayaking on lakes is my personal favorite, it’s easier than the sea (no waves), you can really relax and just explore your surroundings.
10. Watch A Movie At An Outdoor Cinema
The indie film scene is in full swing in the summer, with outdoor screenings happening frequently across cities.
Take the opportunity to try watching something new and different!
Even in the smallest outdoor cinemas, you’ll often find the most common amenities such as popcorn & pop and often even blankets.
Since it can get cold towards the evening.
Plenty of romantic cuddle opportunity here 😉
11. Rent A Boat On A Lake And Go Swimming
With the hot temperatures of the summer, there’s nothing better than being near a freshwater source!
We personally love to prepare a small picnic, take our swimming things and we’re off.
There are usually various boat types you can rent.
Some have a large platform which is perfect for sunbathing. Additionally, they come with ladders.
This makes dipping in and out of the cooling water easier.
If you’re not so much into the whole swimming thing, you can get a low powered electric boat and just cruise along.
Hold hands, take in the sights, the peace and quiet and just relax.
12. Try Your Luck At A Casino
Karolina and I aren’t much of gamblers, but we do enjoy placing a small bet or two every once in a while.
We just get 15$ worth of chips each and play until we’ve made a little more, or until we’ve lost.
Either way, it’s just about having fun and we often win a little and treat ourselves to a movie or a film at the cinema!
If you have a tendency to be a little over-enthusiastic with the spending, feel free to skip this date idea. 😉
13. Go To An Animal Nursery
Animal nurseries are a great place to see wild animals from up close.
It’s a very educative date idea. You and your partner can learn about our impact on ecosystems and animal life.
It’s also a great opportunity for taking pictures with cute wild animals that are recovering there.
Gabriel and I recently went to a sea turtle nursery. It was super interesting to see these fascinating creatures from within a hand’s reach.
While you’re there, you will most likely get a chance to make a small donation to the nursery. A good deed is a great way to end this amazing and cute summer date.
14. Immerse Yourselves At A Renaissance Fair
Ever wonder what life was like when the black plague was still around?
Well, wonder no more!
A renaissance/medieval fair has you covered! With lavish costumes, sets and plenty of fun activities to do.
Karolina and I initially just stumbled into one at -what used to be- an armory near us.
And boy were we underdressed.
Fear not though, it’s not like you have to be in renaissance garb to attend, some folks just enjoy really getting into character.
We discovered many participants run actual businesses based on the time periods!
You’ll find sword smiths, hat makers, tailors, musicians and much more.
There are also plenty of activities you can take part in (including dancing or archery) and events to watch, like lancing and sword fighting!
So it’s bound to make a very exciting couples date and be sure to taste some mead if there happens to be a brewer.
Karolina and I bought a delicious bottle and can highly recommend it.
15. Make Your ‘Date’ Into A Week
If all of the above date ideas, don’t speak to you and feel like they aren’t enough.
Then maybe you need something MORE.
How about turning your ‘date’ into a weeks holiday?
Sometimes you just need to get away and put distance between yourselves and everything.
Karolina and I just couldn’t take the city after a while.
No matter what great dates we had, things were just weighing down on us.
Spending a week at the Canary Islands did the trick for us!
We came back feeling refreshed and energized.
So consider this as an option if nothing else seems to work for you.
Care to share your favorite summer date ideas? Let us know in the comments section below.
Wondering whether your relationship problems are common and if they are something you need to be concerned about?
Well, we’ve got you covered.
In this post, I’ll talk about these top 5 relationship problems:
Relationship Problem #1 Noncommitment, Is It Serious?
Relationship Problem #2 Fighting, The Inevitable Disputes
Relationship Problem #3 The Infamous In-laws
Relationship Problem #4 Jealousy, The Love Killer
Relationship Problem #5 No Communication, When Radio Silence Strikes
Also, I’ll discuss how serious they are, whether you need to worry and give you practical hacks on how you can SOLVE them!
Let’s get started!
Relationship Problem #1: Non-commitment, Is It Serious?
EVERYBODY worries about this one! (Psst, secret: that includes men too!)
Commitment is a big and important topic in any relationship.
How could it not be?!
You’re INVESTING in this relationship. Your time, trust, love and hell even money.
So if you’re putting so much of yourself forward, it only makes sense to want to know that your partner is SERIOUS.
Otherwise, you’re risking putting yourself out there blindly.
Later you might discover the other person never felt the same way and you were building your future on something you thought was real, but turned out never existed!
Ouch.
And that’s simply a risk not worth taking.
Therefore, it makes perfect sense that you might be thinking or even worrying about the commitment status of your relationship…
Which begs the question: How does commitment happen??
Movies teach you, you’re supposed to know right away:
You see a handsome stranger, standing across the room.
Your eyes lock. The intensity builds.
And you’re both fused into doubtless commitment for a lifetime and live happily until the end of your days. Because when you see them, you “Just Know.”
Yeah…not quite, unfortunately.
As romantic as it may seem, in reality, it rarely works that way.
This is because commitment takes TIME.
It’s not sudden because you don’t know this person yet!
Are you going to commit to somebody for life on your first date?
Hopefully not.
After all, you need to figure out whether they’re right for you and the same applies to them. They also want to get to know you first!
So give it time and allow it to grow organically.
If you’re not sure about how to BUILD commitment, Karolina’s got you covered with How To Make Men Commit.
Relationship Problem #2: Fighting, The Inevitable Disputes
You know those perfect couples that seems to get along and be happy, no matter what?
They’re a lie.
Fighting is unfortunately, a way of figuring things out in relationships and EVERYBODY does it!
Just because it’s happening behind closed doors and everyone is maintaining a happy image externally, doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
That’s not to say, you can’t work on learning How To Stop Fighting. But friction of some kind is an inevitable part of relationships.
And that’s OKAY!
What’s important is to figure out what the pain points in your relationship are and work on them together.
I’ll explain how to do that at #5 Communication.
For now, let’s move onto the next most common issue.
Relationship Problem #3: The Infamous In-laws
There is nothing more unpleasant than in-laws mixing up in business that isn’t theirs.
Like your relationship with your partner!
I don’t know what it is about them, but some in-laws can act like an overly attached teenage ex.
It’s a very common problem, everybody struggles with setting boundaries with their parents and truly leaving the nest!
However, your relationship with your partner is ultimately YOUR business alone.
None of theirs.
It’s also important to put your relationship with your partner FIRST!
This is YOUR life and both of yours time to live it as you so choose while you’re young.
If you’re among the few who actually have a genuinely positive connection with their in-laws, then consider yourself lucky or impeccably socially skilled.
Relationship Problem #4: Jealousy, The Love Killer
Regardless of which partner is jealous, it can be a strain on the relationship.
It’s a common problem and can lead to controlling behavior.
One of you wants to go meet a friend and the other feels jealous and doesn’t want you to.
It may look simple on the surface, but in reality, there’s an underlying issue.
It’s about TRUST.
(Or lack thereof)
“Just trust me” generally doesn’t help matters, unfortunately.
You probably just started dating someone and things were magical in the beginning. In the honeymoon phase, your relationship felt fresh and exciting.
Sparks were flying even when you two just touched hands and looked into each other’s eyes. Everything seemed perfect and things just worked out.
But now, after just a couple of months or even weeks of being together, it doesn’t feel like that anymore.
Your relationship felt like true love when you first met, but after the honeymoon phase ended it became plain boring.
You must be wondering. Where did all that magic go?
Is it because you’re the wrong person? Maybe it’s you who is doing something wrong? Can you go back to the beginning and fix things?
Yes, you absolutely can!
There is no need to worry! There is nothing wrong with you or your relationship. Every single couple goes through this process.
Nobody manages to stay in the initial honeymoon phase forever. It is possible to get it back though!
Gabriel and I have been together for over ten years now and we’re still totally into each other. Sometimes we still get so lovey-dovey at parties that people around us roll their eyes and sigh “uhh, get a room you two!”.
Just like you, we had our moments of doubt and there were times when the honeymoon phase felt like nothing more than a distant memory. But we managed to get through those times and kept our romance alive.
In this article, I will cover 4 reasons that cause the honeymoon phase to fade and what you need to do to get it back. But before jumping into that I want to first address what you’re going through right now.
When Does the Honeymoon Phase Typically Wear Off
According to a 2015 New York University study, the honeymoon phase in a marriage can keep on going for up to 30 months, however, there is a sharp decline in spousal satisfaction already after the first 6 months of the relationship.
Every couple is different. Some can stay crazy about each other longer, while others will wake up and become disillusioned sooner.
Among our coaching clients, I would estimate that the honeymoon tends to be over after 3 months of their relationship.
It’s a realistic time frame for when two people get to know each other well enough to start encountering their first serious relationship problems… but more on this later.
What Happens When the Honeymoon Phase Wears Off
When the honeymoon phase wears off, both partners or just one of them lose their rose colored glasses. They start seeing the other’s shortcoming and imperfections. This often results in friction and the first arguments begin.
It’s normal and healthy for couples to fight now and then. We all get emotional and are not perfect communicators. It’s just an inevitable part of any relationship.
Another sad thing that tends to happen when the honeymoon phase wears off, is that one of you will start distancing themselves from the other. Much like with fighting, this is something to keep an eye out for, because if left unchecked for too long, it might even make you drift apart completely.
4 Reasons Why the Honeymoon Phase Wears off and How to Fix Them
Now that you know when the honeymoon phase wears off and what heppens when it does, you’re ready to jump in the four reasons why couples go through this and what you can do about them. You can get back to the honemoon stage in your relationship, but it will take some effort!
Here is what went wrong and how to fix it:
1. Honeymoon Phase Fades When The Novelty Wears Off And Life Goes Back To Normal
Let’s face it, fewest of us feel truly happy and fulfilled in our everyday lives. That’s why we often look to our partner to fix things for us.
Us girls, in particular, have all been thought that once we meet our prince charming, we get to live happily ever after.
In the beginning, love does feel like a fairy tale.
Your partner is a new addition to your life and everything changes.
However, as time goes by, people always revert back to their old patterns.
When you start dating someone, you hardly know them, so you’re likely to fantasize and imagine them to be the solution to all your life’s problems.
Unfortunately, with this kind of attitude, you’re bound to get disappointed really fast. This disappointment will inevitably end the honeymoon phase in your relationship.
The sad truth is, no matter how perfect you are for each other, no person can ever make another person feel happy and fulfilled, no matter how hard they try.
Relationship Chemistry Fix #1: Don’t Expect Your Partner To Make You Happy
If you want to rekindle the spark in your relationship, you’ve got to stop expecting your partner to fix things for you.
You’ve got to take YOUR LIFE in YOUR OWN HANDS and shape it the way you want it to be.
Don’t waste your time waiting for your partner to read your mind and fulfill your expectations.Communicate your needs and wants, make things happen.
Even Disney knows better now.
The modern princesses are not the typical damsels in distress anymore. Nowadays princesses are right in the middle of all the action, they often even end up saving the prince!
(Don’t aspire to be Snowwhite, be Elsa, she is way more badass and sexy.)
2. Believing That You Know Everything There Is To Know About Your Partner Will Make Your Honeymoon Phase Wear Off
When two people start dating, they generally don’t know each other that well.
The process of meeting a stranger and then gradually getting to know him/her better is a big part of what makes the honeymoon phase so thrilling.
There are a lot of unknowns at the beginning of a relationship.
Every date provides an opportunity to get to know more about each other. Everything new you find out about your partner feels fresh and exciting.
However, as time goes by, most people in relationships start believing they’ve already learned everything there is to know about each other.
This is where the thrilling process of opening up and getting to know a stranger ends and the safety inducing yet boring familiarity kicks in.
It’s the end of the honeymoon phase.
Relationship Chemistry Fix #2: Admit it, You Still Don’t Know Everything There Is To Know About Your Partner
I know it might be scary to admit, but your partner is a complex being, with their own unique history, preferences, and desires.
Even though you’ve known each other for a long time, in some ways they are still a bit of a stranger.
If you want to bring back the honeymoon phase in your relationship, you have to let go of that cushy familiarity and embrace the unknown.
There are still things you DON’T KNOW about each other.
Admitting that and making an active effort to learn more about your partner will rekindle that spark from the beginning of your relationship.
3. Expecting Your Partner To Perform His/Hers “Duties” Will Kill The Chemistry In Your Relationship
This might be a hard one to swallow, but if you want to get your honeymoon phase back, you’ve got to stop trying to control your loved one.
Sense of obligation is not hot.
A lot of us have been brought up with the sense that men and women are supposed to serve each other.
That’s why you might be expecting that a man will carry the grocery bags for you, empty the bins, walk you home after a date, etc.
And vice versa, a man might expect a woman to have sex with him whenever he feels like it.
As nice as all these acts of serving each other might be, expecting your partner to “perform their duties”, will inevitably make him/her hate doing it and resent you.
When two people start dating they often do all sorts of little things for each other, because they want to show their appreciation and to charm their potential partner.
However, turning these acts of kindness into an obligation will take all the “magic” out of it.
All couples fall into routines at times and everybody has their own ways getting their partner to do what they want.
Nonetheless, love in only then true when it’s given freely.
Relationship Chemistry Fix#3: Free Your Partner From Their Obligations
If you want to bring back the honeymoon phase in your relationship, you have to give your partner their freedom back.
You have to allow them not to fulfill their obligations.
So if you want that spark back, you’ve got to stop expecting your partner to be a good boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife and just let them be themselves.
This means: no carrying of bags and no obligatory weekly sex…
Your partner needs to EXPERIENCE freedom from their obligations.
Only that can allow them to express their love for you through an act of kindness again.
Doing things purely out of a sense of obligation is just annoying and frustrating. Being genuinely caring, on the other hand, is totally hot.
Setting your partner free out of their obligations will make them feel loved and cared for.
A real act of love and care will reignite the spark between you two.
4. Unspoken Grudges End The Honeymoon Phase
Relationships generally always start with a clean slate.
When two people start dating, they usually barely know each other, which means that they have not spent a lot of time together yet.
As the relationship progresses and you spend more and more time with your partner, unfortunately, you get more and more chances to make the other one upset.
There is no such thing as a perfect match. Two people will always end up hurting each other’s feelings in one way or another.
Sad but true, that’s the reality of all relationships…
This doesn’t even need to include any big transgressions. Even little things like arriving late for a date or choosing to hang out with a friend instead of your partner can feel hurtful at times.
Doing hurtful things is not what kills the chemistry between two people though.
It’s not talking about it and holding a grudge that extinguishes the spark.
Holding grudges will create invisible walls around you and you will inevitably shut your partner out.
Moreover, letting these little things simmer silently over time, will only blow them out of proportion.
Relationship Chemistry Fix#4: Come Clean About The Things That Have Hurt You In The Past And Get Ready To Listen
Admitting to your partner that something they did hurt you, might not be easy. You might feel afraid that bringing these things up will put your relationship at risk, or that it will only cause an argument.
Speaking out about the things that hurt you might be hard but admitting to having done hurtful things is way harder than that.
Communication is a skill that can be developed over time. Here are 3 Easy Hacks to help you through this process.
It’s always more tactical to try to listen to your partner first, before making them hear you out. Otherwise, you’re likely to just end up talking past each other.
Communicating in relationships tends to get messy. It’s ok to fight sometimes, that’s just the reality of how things work. There is no way around it.
Fighting is just a way of figuring things out. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s the only way to resolve an issue.
Resolving Arguments will eliminate the grudges and tear down the walls that are separating you from your partner.
You don’t need to attempt to solve all your relationship problems all at once, hearing your partner out about one small thing, can make a world of difference.
It will reignite that spark and bring you and your partner closer together.
Conclusion
The honeymoon phase is just a fleeting stage that people experience when they first get together. But just because that phase is over, doesn’t mean that the spark is gone.
It is totally possible to bring back that chemistry that made you and your partner crazy about each other when you first met. We have done it ourselves!
Moreover, chemistry can actually get better and stronger over time.
As you build trust and get to know each other, that spark of attraction that connected you and your partner at the beginning can transform into a raging fire, also known as TRUE LOVE.
It takes time and effort to make a relationship work. But believe me, it’s a great investment and it really pays off!
If you found this article helpful, you might want to save it to Pinterest for later or share it on your preferred platform via the social media buttons below. It supports us in creating more exciting content for you!
What are your experiences with the honeymoon phase? What strategies do you use to bring back chemistry in your relationship?
We always believed that relationships should be FUN and uplifting! And we were obsessed with finding real-world practical solutions for our relationship problems. Today we help others do the same with our blog.
To provide the best experiences, we and our partners use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us and our partners to process personal data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site and show (non-) personalized ads. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Click below to consent to the above or make granular choices. Your choices will be applied to this site only. You can change your settings at any time, including withdrawing your consent, by using the toggles on the Cookie Policy, or by clicking on the manage consent button at the bottom of the screen.
Functional
Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional
Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
