by Karolina Brenner | Jan 6, 2019 | Date & Gift Ideas, Relationships
Photo by Matthieu Huang
Winter, the most wonderful time of the year.
Or is it?
When it’s cold and dark outside you and your partner might find yourself stuck on the couch in front of TV more often than you’d like it.
After a while we eventually get bored of all the onscreen entertainment and try figure out something different to do.
These are the best spontaneous winter date ideas we’ve come up with to have some real couple quality time.
All the dates require little to no preparation. Creating this list I focused on all the little things you can just decide to do even on some random weekday evening after work.
I divided the ideas into three categories: “Food and Drinks”, “Outdoor Fun” and “Indoor Fun” to help you browse and find the things you might be currently in the mood for.
Food & Drinks
They say a way to a man’s heart is through their stomach, but the truth is, women enjoy good food just as much as men do. Yummy treats and tasty cocktails are a super easy way to cast away those winter blues.
These are some ideas we’ve tried recently that totally put us in a fun, festive mood:
1. Have Fondue For Dinner
All you need for a fondue dinner is to go to a grocery store, get some fondue cheese, baguette and a bottle of wine. You don’t even need to own a fondue set. Our fondue set takes FOREVER to warm up, so last time we decided that instead of waiting, we’re gonna just use our kitchen stove instead (Everybody knows the real party is always in the kitchen ;)). It was awesome!
2. Share A Grill Platter At Your Local Pub
We love breaking rules. So having a typical summer dish in the middle of the winter tickles our rebellious instincts. It just instantly transfers us into a more energetic, festive mood.
3. Go To A Fancy Cocktail Bar
Have you guys seen the Netflix original “A Verry Murray Xmas”? Sitting at a fancy cocktail bar during Xmas time (with some remixes of the typical Xmas hits playing in the background) made us feel like we’re on the set of that movie. It made that one evening feel pretty special somehow.
4. Make Your Own Mulled Wine
Having a glass of mulled wine at a Christmas market is lots of fun. Making your own wine at home and drinking it while being wrapped in blankets is in my opinion even better. It’s will make the two of you feel so warm and cozy.
5. Treat Each Other To Your Traditional Foods
Even if you and your partner come from similar backgrounds, all families have their own, special traditional Xmas foods. Sharing these treats in a more intimate setting (just the two of you) can be a great way to bond and get to know and understand each other’s past better.
Outdoor Fun
We live in Austria, it gets quite cold here and is often extremely windy, therefore we tend to spend much more time indoors in the winter, than during the rest of the year. These date ideas are for the days on which the weather is not quite as bad. They are perfect for spending an evening or an afternoon in a more active way.
6. Pretend To Be Tourists In Your Own Hometown
All the Xmas lights and decorations make any town or city look and feel so much more magical. Being in a picturesque place and be surrounded by tourists is enough to make you two suddenly feel like you’re on holiday on a regular workday.
7. Ice Skating
Ice skating can be a really lovely way to let out some steam and have some fun after a long tiresome day at work. We tend to prefer doing it in the evening because the setting is just so much more romantic at night. On top of that, ice skating rings tend to be much less busy on weekdays.
8. Winter Walk In The Snow
Going on a walk in the winter wonderland can be the most magical experience. Everything is so white, bright (even when it’s dark) and peaceful. Plus all the snow can provides ample opportunity to nudge somebody into a cushioned poof of white! You can also build a snowperson of any gender(s) or having a classic, playful snowball fight.
9. Play In The Snow As If You Were Kids
Let’s be honest here. Who doesn’t have a little kid living inside of them? No matter your age.
This idea will require more preparation. You better dress up real warm for this one. Putting on your skiing/snowboarding pants might be necessary. Warm and waterproof your clothes can allow you and your loved one to go all nuts and have just as much fun as when you were kids. If you have a little hill and own a sled, be sure to go there for this date.
10. Fly A Drone
This idea might sound a bit unusual. If you happen to own a drone and both of you or one of you is a total newbie, winter is a great time to learn how to fly. Just need to make sure it’s not too windy and your good to go (Don’t forget gloves). The snow will cushion your landing, so you’ll be much less likely to break anything. (Don’t forget some gloves though)
Indoor fun
These are perfect ideas to switch things up and have some fun especially on days when the weather is so bad you don’t want to stay out longer than absolutely necessary.
11. Go To An Arcade
I personally really love playing air hockey. Gabriel and I get so competitive sometimes, we make the puck fly far out of the table. Arcades are just so much fun! They’re a great way to escape the ordinary and feel younger and more energized.
12. Check Out A Virtual Reality Cafe
This is a rather unusual idea that a friend told us about recently. We didn’t even know that a VR cafe existed in our city. It’s a really great way to experience this new tech without having to invest and set up all the equipment yourself. Our VR evening was super fun and exciting! Try google earth, beat sabre, vr painting and if you have time some multiplayer! There’s nothing stranger seeing and hearing each other in virtual reality as alien avatars!
13. Go On A Spontaneous Shopping Spree
We recently spent an afternoon at a mall picking clothes for each other. Both Gabriel and I got to try on clothes we would not have picked ourselves. It was such a great experience because we were both encouraging each other to experiment with new styles and more daring outfits. All that fun lead to some impulsive purchases that we both ended up being happy with. On top of that, you can make the most of those winter sales.
14. Listen To Live Music At A Jazz Bar
There’s nothing like the chill atmosphere at a jazz bar. I personally find it really relaxing. With a little table to ourselves, a few of drinks and a couple of musicians freestyling away. You can just drown out the world and all of it’s worries for an evening and enjoy yourselves in a little festive, safe cocoon.
15. Visit The Hot Pools
Fortunately for us, we live in an area with quite a few hot springs within an hour drive of our place. Warming up in a sauna and then going for a swim in an outdoor hot pool on a cold winter night is very refreshing! It is a great place for relaxing both your bodies and your minds. On top of that, the peace and quiet, starry winter nights, thick clouds of water vapor coming from the outdoor hot pools create the perfect romantic setting.
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Did we manage to inspire you to try one of these winter date ideas? What are your personal favorite winter dates? Let us know in a comments bellow.
Karolina
by Gabriel Brenner | Jan 6, 2019 | Commitment, Relationships
Photo by Christin Hume
All of us have some days when we’re easy going and fun to be around. It’s impossible to be happy all the time though.
Everybody goes through some rough patches every now and then. When times are more difficult people tend to withdraw into themselves, get grumpy and less communicative.
Being around somebody who is going through a difficult time can be challenging. Luckily a loving relationship is the best place to get the necessary support to get out of a rough spot.
Even though everybody eventually gets out of “the bad mood”, the road can be tricky.
Here is some useful advice on how to you might want to approach this situation to help your partner through this process.
You can try these tips individually or in conjunction, see what works best for you!
1. Give Them Time And Space To Unwind
This might seem counter-intuitive.
You’re seeing your partner be upset about something and you’re supposed to just leave them alone?
The truth is, when we’re tense and upset, we might not want to head straight into trying to resolve our problems right away. It is important to give your loved one room to just escape for a bit.
Everybody has their own way of de-stressing after a rough day or week. It can be really helpful to know your partner’s ways of doing so.
They may like to lose themselves in video games, films or a book, workout, have a hot bath or just browse their phone.
These activities or non-activities can easily be judged as laziness and dismissed as getting them nowhere. Don’t do that!
Let me explain.
We’re creatures of habit. Something about familiarity and repetitive activities can be very soothing.
Let your partner come home and just go through their familiar routine. They might lie on the couch exasperated, browse on their phone, have a nap, or even stare at the ceiling and wonder “Why?!” about the state of things.
It’s important to understand that your partner needs to find their equilibrium again, heck you surely have your own ways too, we all do!
So giving him or her room to go through their unwinding process by themselves is a great place to start.
If she or he is cranky and jumpy, it’s a sign that space might be what they need at this point. Feel free to ask them!
2. Inquire About Their State
After I’ve had some time for myself Karolina often circles in and asks me:
‘What’s up?’ or simply ‘Hey, how was your day?’
Now that I’ve had my initial space after a tough day of endless demands at work, my mind is cleared.
I’m relaxed enough to let another person into my world. I might be ready to talk about what is going on.
Inquiring about your partner’s state is a great way of checking whether they are open for conversation yet or not. If they respond by being defensive or agitated, it might mean they just need to escape some more, or that you might need to try a different approach.
An important note here, your partner may not even be aware that they are distant and unavailable.
It’s hard to be aware of your own state when you are so emotionally preoccupied with some other problem. They’re just zoned out, for the time being, so keep that in mind.
3. Treat Them To Something
When a bunch of people has treated you unpleasantly throughout a day, there’s nothing like a little bit of kindness to warm the heart.
You know your partner best. Treat them to something you know they like. It doesn’t need to be anything big or complicated. Just show them a little bit of love.
Offer to make them a cup of their favorite beverage, massage them a little, a couple of heartfelt kisses. Just one of these small things can gradually bring them back to you.
4. Help Them Escape
I personally really need my four walls before I can come down.
There really is no place like home.
I need to get away from all of the noise, fast pace and endless mountain of tasks (that often seem to be going nowhere).
Having Karolina go through the motions with me, getting food, picking things to watch or a game to play is really nice.
We’re escaping together and it just makes the experience so much more enjoyable!
It’s important not to feel guilty about taking the time you need to get back on track.
Don’t beat yourself/your partner up about it, it’ll only take longer to find back.
Allowing and even encouraging your partner to take all the time they need to relax and unwind can actually help them get out of the loop.
Being harsh and judgmental will most likely make them want to escape even more, so go easy on them!
5. Do Something Different!
This applies for both you and your partner. Sometimes their bad mood might be affecting you and dragging you down.
If you want to avoid being sucked into their “vortex of grumpiness”, go to another room, read a little, have a bath, change the activity, whatever works!
Do the thing that helps you move into a different headspace. Just because your partner is currently miserable and unavailable doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant alone time.
Sometimes you might notice that instead of relaxing the two of you, your familiar routine might be making both of you feel down.
If that is the case, suggest to switch things up. Your partner might be open to that.
There are a million ways to change the mood, that don’t require much preparation or commitment. Go eat out, go to the movies, go shopping etc. Just changing the environment you’re in can instantaneously change your moods for the better.
Walks are one of our favorite ways to do that.
When we notice we are both getting more and more frustrated just sitting around, one of us inevitably ends up asking
“Wanna go for a walk?”
It’s really a great way to clear your head and switch gears. They require very little commitment and can be adjusted to your needs and preferences spontaneously.
Sometimes we choose to just have a short walk around the neighborhood or we just follow our feet and end up who knows where because the conversation became so captivating!
6. Try To Understand Them
People experiencing a tough time are often completely unaware of what is actually going on inside their heads.
When you’re preoccupied with some urgent troubles it is very hard to keep an overview and figure it out all by yourself.
If your partner just had some tough experience, it might take them days to recover from it all by themselves.
However, with your help, this process can become significantly shorter!
Understanding another human being is not as easy as it may seem. Ideally, your prime objective is to have them feel understood, listened to and not judged.
We all seem to be very eager to fix other people’s problems for them.
In order to understand your partner, you have to resist the urge to do that and just listen to what they’re saying instead. It takes some time and practice but you’ll get better at it with time.
An important note here, the more your partner feels understood, the more likely they are to listen to your advice and opinions.
Trying to help or fix your partner before they feel like you get them, will likely shut them down.
If you need more tips on how to make your partner feel understood check out our 3 Easy Hacks To Communicate Effectively In Your Relationship.
Conclusion
Being around a person who is going through a tough time can be disheartening and frustrating. Sometimes there is nothing you can really do to help your loved one get out of a rough patch other than stand by them.
We all go through difficult times every now and then.
Even though it’s not in your power to solve your partner’s problems, you can help them by just being there for them.
Showing your significant other that they’re not alone with their problems can help them overcome these tough times much faster.
You being understanding, sensitive to your loved one’s needs and willing to listen to them will help them trust you, open up and let you into their currently troubled head.
Learning how to support each other during rough patches will inevitably strengthen your trust and love for each other and bring your relationship to the next level!
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Have any questions or want to tell us your ways of how you help your partner open up? Let us know in the comments.
Gabriel
