Photo by Michael Dam

So it was recently ‘Singles Day’.

It made me think back to the good old days of my single life. 😉

I really didn’t understand all the stigma and social pressure to ‘get with somebody’.

I remember being annoyed and frustrated when people would remark:

  • “You’ve gotta get you WITH SOMEBODY already!”
  • “Aren’t you lonely?!”
  • “When was the last time you even got laid?!”

Jeez, speak for yourselves.

Sure, being single wasn’t perfect.

And at times, I really DID miss the comfort of having somebody I could talk to or snuggle with.

But being single could actually feel GOOD.

And like a choice.

Like I wanted- no, NEEDED time for myself!

So during my bold single years, I discovered the upsides of it all.

When you push past all the external expectations and pressure, there’s actually a lot of VALUE in being single.

Nobody should feel bad about being alone, dammit!

So for all of our single readers out there, I’d like to highlight all of the GAINS of living the single life.

1. You Can Pursue Your Personal Interests

No more discussing, negotiating, finding common ground.

As a single person, you’re free to pursue WHATEVER personal interests you have.

Want to go to that weird niche fair you’ve been interested in since years? Go satisfy your curiosity!

What’s that? You like having your dessert first? Feeling ice cream in winter followed by a hearty broth dish at a restaurant? Awesome.

That hobby or subject that you’ve been so curious about? You’ll master that stuff in no time!

YOU can pursue whatever interests you have on a whim.

WITHOUT having to think about another “Half” or whatever they call it these days..

This means, not worrying about what their interests are or what they might think about yours.

It’s an immense level of FREEDOM.

For example, I’d always been a terrible dancer and my body seemed adamant about never grooving to the rhythm.

So I took up salsa classes when I was single and made a whole bunch of new friends.

And guess what? My feet finally conquered the beat.

2. You Don’t Have To Figure Somebody Out

Whether we like it or not Relationships are WORK.

Karolina and I have spent countless hours talking through our problems and resolving conflicts.

It’s a lot of work to listen to somebody else and try to figure out what the hell they actually want or mean!

There are endless back and forths, turning in circles and hair pulling frustration.

In the single life, you simply side step all of it.

No hassle, no fighting, no frustration.

The only person you have to listen to is yourself.

“Sense & Sensibility or that new Netflix rom com?”

“Double chocolate ice cream or caramel popcorn?”

“Keanu Reeves or Cumberbatch?”

Pretty neat, huh?

And You can actually take time for YOURSELF:

  • What have YOU been feeling lately?
  • What’s that one thing that would make YOU feel better today?
  • How do YOU imagine your ideal social life?

And you’re worth every damn second of it.

3. You Can Design Your Life As You Please

I see people can be so QUICK to tick all the boxes and plow right through their lives:

  1. Graduate from college!
  2. Find a soulmate!
  3. Get that job!
  4. Get married!
  5. Have kids!
  6. Live happily ever after!

As though this were the ONLY way to live your life!

It is NOT.

When you’re single, ALL DOORS ARE STILL OPEN.

You can design your life however you choose and see fit!

If you don’t want to study and instead have been bitten by the entrepreneurial bug. You can carve your own path!

If you don’t want the responsibility of a relationship and having children, you’re FREE to make that choice.

You can be as selfish as you like and create the life YOU WANT and dream of.

It’s incredibly liberating!

4. You Can Come And Go As You Please

In a relationship, when you’re at a party or social event and you’re BORED TO DEATH.


Yay, what fun!

Social obligations are reduced SIGNIFICANTLY when you’re single:

They’re basically halved because you don’t have the social baggage (family & friends) of your significant other.

And to top it off, you become like freakin’ NINJA.

Appearing and disappearing like a shadow.

Bored of that group conversation that’s droning on? Poof, you’re gone.

What’s that? There’s a better party across town? Ride the winds!

Suddenly had a change of heart last minute? No one’s gonna be on your case about it.

You see?

The world’s a stage and we are all but actors… And this is your movie.

That’s totally how that goes right?

5. It’s An All Out Buffet

Yes, you’re living the single life and you’re totally committed to the whole ‘getting to know and finding yourself’ thing.

But what about sex and flirty fun time?

Some might say you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Don’t listen to Some, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Best of both worlds is how we roll baby.

Who are they to tell you, that you can’t be a free spirited and liberal flirt??

Exactly. I’ve known friends who discovered a lot about themselves during their sexual escapades.

And it ACTUALLY is a great way to get to know YOURSELF!

  • What is your type(s)?
  • What charms can’t you resist?
  • What gets your heart pounding and knees weak?
  • etc!

So you do you and ENJOY your freedom, let me know what your favorite upside of being single is in the comments section.



Gabriel Brenner