Breakups are always tough. But going through a breakup with an avoidant is a different experience all together. Especially if you have an anxious attachment style.

Not to mention, the idea of separating from a person you care so much about just feels so deeply wrong!

Especially when you’ve never had a connection like this before and things had been seemingly going well. Yet suddenly they said they wanted to break up.

Breakups between avoidant- and anxious people are horrible, there’s no way around that (I would know…). But sometimes relationships end, not because two people aren’t suited for each other, but because nobody showed them how to overcome the problems, that stood between their otherwise undeniable chemistry.

“I don’t know what I want.”

“I don’t see us working long term.”

“I just don’t know when we’ll fix it at this point.”

“I think we’re hurting each other too much.”

“I just need space.”

“I’ve fallen out of love.” or “I just don’t feel the same anymore.”

“I want to be single.” or “I want to see other people.”

“I want you to be happy, I’m not good for you.”

Regardless of how things ended between the two of you, the reasons are painful to hear.

Especially because they’re rejecting you based on things that feel like they could be fixed if they were just willing to give it more time or try again.

Just like other couples, we, too, have our own avoidant-meets-anxiously-attached breakup story.

Hi there, I’m Karolina, and I want to share my breakup story with you so that you can see that it’s possible to undo breakups and fix things with your avoidant-ex, even when it feels like the absolute end.

Here’s a picture of Gabriel (left) and me (right).

For context, you should know that I was the anxiously attached person in our relationship, while Gabriel was a fearful-avoidant.

We met over 12 years ago at a party of a mutual friend and immediately felt a spark.

Afterward, I kept bumping into him at social events. One thing led to another, and a couple of months later, we were officially dating.

Initially, we were absolutely crazy about each other, and our chemistry was off the charts!

Being with him made me feel safe and less alone in the world.

But unfortunately, it didn’t last…

You see, already 6 months into our relationship, the fun took a back seat, and we had our first arguments that were caused by our anxious-meets-avoidant attachment styles.

Gabriel would pull away and become less available, and I would panic and chase, and as you might have guessed, it only made him even more distant.

From there on, things only took a turn for the WORSE.

My anxious attachment would make me spiral because I wasn’t getting the reassurance I desperately needed. Meanwhile, Gabriel would get annoyed that I was being so “needy & clingy”. We fought more and more.

Things got so bad that we eventually BROKE UP!

I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t listen and couldn’t understand that this could so easily be fixed!

If he only gave me the reassurance I needed and listened a little, but no.

So it took me a month to turn things around, and then we got back together right away.

Only to break up AGAIN!

This happened a total of 3 times in the first two years of our relationship!

Every next breakup became harder, and it was always about the same issues. But we DID eventually FIGURE IT OUT.

Now, we’re 12+ years in, married, and I finally have the stable relationship I’ve always wanted with him.

– You’ll experience deep listening, so that your whole story and the problem you’re struggling with are clear

– Then you’ll get the best possible clarity and structure 

– And finally, you’ll get clear strategies and tools to remove what stands in the way of your dream relationship

No matter how tricky or complicated your situation may be, we’ll help you make sense of it.

Book to Get Your Ex Back Now!